The Long Road
by lothinielflowermaiden
Summary: Sequel to "Family Secrets." In the aftermath of the revelation of a terrible secret, the other Nordics have to help Norway deal with what happened. But they soon find that their help might not be enough, and they might unintentionally make things worse.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Notes: **This is the sequel to "Family Secrets," and you need to read that story in order for this one to make sense. This story is going to start almost right after the end of "Family Secrets." I used the same online translator that I used for "Family Secrets" so any mistakes in other languages are the fault of the translator. Another translation issue that I forgot to mention in "Family Secrets": The nations address each other by whatever the names are in their own language.

**Warnings**: Since this story continues to deal with the issues from "Family Secrets" it will get pretty dark at times. Especially for the first few chapters. The situation is going to get worse for a few chapters. This story deals with the aftereffects of child sexual abuse. It also contains references to past mpreg. Any specific warnings for later chapters will be given in that chapter.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything except the plot.

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* * *

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The Long Road

**Chapter One**

Over the next couple of weeks, Norway's condition improved, and his family's worry lessened. Just the couple of hours of peaceful sleep he had gotten that first day had been a big help. When he had woken up, shortly after midday, he had seemed a little more focused. They had brought him down to the living room for the part of the afternoon and evening, but he hadn't been able to do much more than just lie on the couch and rest. It had seemed to comfort him somewhat to have all of them around, though, and they were all so relieved that he was safe, that just having the whole family together was enough.

That day, and the following day, he was still too weak to get around on his own. The others took turns sitting with him in his bedroom, and sometimes Denmark or Sweden would bring him downstairs for a few hours.

As the days wore on, Norway got stronger. He was still far too thin, and it would be a long time before he could gain back all the weight he had lost, but he was no longer as weak as he had been that first day. By the end of the first week, he was able to get around more on his own. He still had not been out of the house, but he was able to go downstairs without help.

In January, the world meeting was delayed for a week because of New Years. The rest of the family felt that by the time the meeting was held, Norway would be well enough to attend.

They had no idea how wrong that assumption would prove to be. However, they saw no reason for concern at the time. Norway was recovering, and the meeting was being held nearby in Germany's territory. And Norway didn't object to the idea of going to the meeting. On some level he was aware of what five months of missed meetings must have looked like, and realized that he could not miss anymore meetings for a while.

The other Nordics were all keeping a close eye on Norway, but by all indications he was back to normal. The most noticeable sign of what he had been through that autumn was how thin he still was.

At first none of the other nations commented on the fact that Norway had missed so many meetings in a row. The meeting had already gotten off to its usual start, and America and England were already arguing with each other about something.

By this point, Iceland was the only one that was still watching Norway, and he could see that his brother looked almost nervous. And it was a noticeable emotion, not just the slight changes to his usual emotionless mask that only the other Nordics knew how to interpret.

The meeting was rapidly descending into total chaos, and Germany, who was hosting this meeting, and who usually kept order anyway, had had enough. "Can you take the situation seriously for once?" he yelled at England and America. He then went on to reiterate the rules for conduct at world meetings, ending with, "And no more missing five meetings in a row. It sets a bad precedent." He walked around the circle of tables until he was standing in front of Norway. "What excuse do you have for missing so many meetings anyway?"

Norway did not respond to Germany's question. He was looking in the direction of where the other man was standing, but did not appear to be seeing him. There was a disconnected look in his eyes, which was not unusual, but there was also a hint of extreme fear. His hands were starting to shake.

Then, he stood up and turned to leave, when suddenly he froze. He stumbled slightly and grabbed the back of his chair to keep from falling.

By this time, everyone was watching Norway, and they could see that something was wrong with him. Of course, the other Nordics had some idea what was wrong with him, but they weren't sure what had happened to set it off.

Denmark stood up, and grabbed hold of Norway's arm to help support him.

Norway immediately started struggling to get away, still caught by whatever it was that he was remembering. "_Nei! Forsvinn! Jeg vil ikke gå gjennom det igjen!"_1 He was breathing rapidly, and was clearly terrified of something.

"Norge, what's wrong?" Denmark still had his grip on Norway's arm.

Norway didn't answer, but his struggles to get away intensified.

"Let go of him. You're making it worse," Finland said.

Thankfully, this was one of those rare times when Denmark had the sense to do as someone told him. Norway calmed down a little once he was free, but he was still breathing too rapidly, and he still seemed frightened.

"Norja, you're safe here. We won't let anyone hurt you. Can you tell us what frightened you?" Although he was just as worried as the rest of the family, Finland knew that he had to stay calm if he was going to get Norway to calm down.

Norway just shook his head. He couldn't tell anything in front of all these people . . . he couldn't let the whole world know how weak he was. He was trying to calm down, but he couldn't even get his breathing back under control.

"Do you know where you are?" Finland asked.

"Yes."

"We're all here with you, and we won't let anyone hurt you. Do you want to go out into the hallway?"

"Yes."

They went out into the hall. Finland stayed close to Norway but made no attempt to touch him. There were benches lining the hall and they went and sat down on one of those just outside the door. Norway was still breathing too rapidly, and Finland knew that taking care of that was the only way he could get the other man calmed down fully. He had looked up the information on this just in case, and he used one of the suggestions he had read about. He got Norway to focus on counting his breaths, and slowly the other man's breathing returned to normal.

Once he was no longer in the grip of the panic attack, Norway rested his head against the wall and closed his eyes, clearly exhausted. He was still regaining his strength and that attack had almost been more than he could handle.

A few minutes later the rest of the family came out into the hall. Iceland sat down next to his brother on the bench and took hold of his hand. Denmark and Sweden stood nearby, trying not to look like they were hovering. (Or rather, Sweden kept Denmark from hovering.) They were all worried, but were trying not to show it. They were relieved that at least Norway was calmer now, but they no longer felt as confident as they had before about his recovery.

"How are you feeling?" Denmark asked, before realizing what a stupid question that was. Not that that would have stopped him from asking it.

Norway didn't answer, although he did open his eyes to look at the rest of his family.

* * *

"He was getting better," Denmark said, sounding as if he was trying to convince himself.

It was later that evening, and the family had gone back to the hotel where they had booked rooms for the night. Norway had gone straight to the room that he was sharing with Iceland. He was worn out from the events that had occurred earlier that day. Iceland had stayed in the room to watch over his brother, while the other three had gathered to discuss the situation.

"What happened to him is difficult to recover from, though. Considering the condition he was in when I found him, I'm surprised he's been doing as well as he has. And, physically, he is doing much better than he would be, if he was human."

"C'n we h'lp h'm?" Sweden asked. It was the question all of them had been wondering about after the incident at the meeting.

"I don't know," Finland said, after thinking for a few moments. "If he was human, I would say we should take him to a hospital, or at least insist he get professional counseling. However, neither of those is an option for him . . . We're the only ones who can help him, but I don't think we're enough."

They were all worried about Norway. Their worry had lessened in the last few weeks, after he had been found and brought back home. However, the incident at the meeting had caused the worry to return full force, and they were no longer sure if Norway would be all right.

_

* * *

_

It was completely dark, and Norway could feel something menacing out there in the darkness. He was trying to hide from whatever it was, but there was no place to hide. There was never any place to hide. He sat down on the ground, drew his knees up to his chest, and wrapped his arms around them, trying to make himself as small as possible.

_He could hear the sound of footsteps approaching, and he was being pulled to his feet and dragged over to the bed. He struggled to escape, but the grip on his arm tightened, and soon he was being pushed down onto the bed._

_"Please, don't," he whispered, knowing even as he spoke the words that they would not be listened to._

_The person above him reached out and caressed his cheek in a parody of an affectionate gesture. "You know this is all you're good for, don't you?" a voice whispered. "Even your brothers realized that much. You are nothing more than this, and more land that they can add to their empires."_

_He didn't want to believe that, but the evidence that it was true was right there in his history. He closed his eyes, not wanting to see what he knew was going to happen. He tried to distance himself as much as he could from what was happening, but he could still feel hands touching him. And he could still hear his father's voice saying that this was all he was good for. That he did not deserve anything else._

_Norway tried to block everything out, both the words and the physical pain of the assault. He could still feel it, but his awareness of it was lessened._

_His dulled awareness kept him from knowing exactly how much time passed. When it was over, he was aware of the pain, and of the fact that the room was no longer as dark has it had been. He was no longer being held down on the bed, but he was too sore to try getting up. He rolled onto his side, curling into an almost fetal position. He knew that he would be sore the next day, and that he would have to work to hide it from the others. He would not be able to bear the way they would look at him, if they knew his secret. As much as he wanted it all to stop, he could not risk letting Scandia's attention turn to Iceland. He had to protect his child._

_Norway could see Scandia watching him from near the door. He hoped that meant his father was planning to leave the room for the rest of the night. That was the way it usually happened, but there had been a couple of nights when Scandia stayed the whole night and sometimes even wanted another round. Norway closed his eyes, hoping that when he opened them, Scandia would be gone._

_As Norway had hoped, when he opened his eyes, he was alone in the bedroom. The darkness had returned, but it did not feel quite as threatening as it had before. Before he could relax though, he became aware of the sound of a baby crying. He left the room and went in search of the source of the sound. The crying continued, but there seemed to be no one else in the house. He knew the others had been there earlier, and now they weren't. He also could not find the source of the crying._

_And then, suddenly, he knew. He sat down on the floor in the hall, and put his hands over his ears. But the crying did not stop, and he could not block it out. It almost seemed to be growing louder._

_He flinched slightly when someone touched his shoulder. After a moment, he looked up to see Scandia standing over him. Scandia's grip on his shoulder tightened until it was painful, and Norway knew that he would have a bruise there, if he did not already have one from being held down on the bed._

_"They are going to find out what you did," Scandia said. "And then, they will think even less of you than they already do. And you know what will happen if your cousin learns about any of this."_

_Norway did not reply to his father's words. He had no reply that he could give._

_Scandia's grip on Norway's shoulder tightened even more, until it felt almost like a vise. He continued to make comments like the ones he had made earlier, and Norway just tried to ignore what his father was saying. But, his father's voice was the one voice that he could never block out. Sometimes, he heard it even when Scandia had been gone for years, and now that Scandia was back . . ._

_After several minutes, Norway couldn't take anymore of his father's accusations. "Stop it!" he exclaimed. He tried to get away, but Scandia's grip was too tight. "Go away!"_

The next thing he knew, he was in a bed in an unfamiliar room. Norway did not recognize his surroundings and had no memory of leaving the hall. He sat up and looked around for Scandia, sure that his father must be lurking somewhere in the room. It was too dim in the room for him to make out anything clearly, although a faint light could be seen from a window. He could see no sign of Scandia, but he did not let his guard down.

He could hear someone talking to him, but the sound seemed to come from a great distance away, and he could not make sense of the words or recognize the voice. He didn't think it was Scandia, but Scandia's voice had been the last one he heard before finding himself here.

A hand touched his shoulder, startling him. The memory of Scandia gripping his shoulder was still fresh in his mind and made him strike out towards the person touching him. It was as he did so, that his surroundings came into focus, and he realized who the other person with him was . . . who he had just hit.

Suddenly, he felt like he had to get away. He had just done what he vowed never to do. He had attacked his own child . . . he was no better than Scandia. He had to get out of there. It was the only way he could protect Iceland. He had vowed that he would never hurt his child, and now he had done so.

Norway got out of bed as quickly as he could. As soon as he was standing, a wave of dizziness swept over him, and he grabbed the edge of the bed to keep from falling. He couldn't catch his breath, and there was a tightness in his chest. He hated the feeling of not being able to breathe; it brought back other bad memories. He let go of the bed, and took a few steps towards the door. He needed to get out of there, before he hurt Iceland again. He could hear Iceland was something to him, but he couldn't understand. All he could focus on was his need to escape, and his futile attempt to catch his breath.

The dizziness was getting worse, and Norway used the wall to steady himself and keep from falling. He still felt like he couldn't breathe, and _he needed to get out of there_. He let go of the wall and took another step. The room was beginning to fade from view, and he felt himself falling.

* * *

**Translations:**

1. No! Go away! I will not go through that again! (Norwegian)

**Author's notes:** The next three chapters of this story are completely written, and just need to be edited. I'm not sure how long the story will end up being, as I am currently about halfway through the fifth chapter, and nowhere near the end I have in mind.

I want to thank everyone who reviewed "Family Secrets." Also, if anyone has any questions about either this story, or "Family Secrets" feel free to ask them, and I will either attempt to clarify that in the story, or at least add an author's note to address it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's notes and warning:** The warnings for the previous chapter still apply. Also, this chapter will contain a couple mentions of eating disorders. And, I have one note before started this chapter. The most obvious explanation for some things that will happen in the next few chapters, might not be the right one.

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Chapter Two

"Noregur!" Iceland hadn't been close enough to stop Norway from falling. He quickly ran over and knelt down beside his brother. Tentatively, he reached out and touched Norway's shoulder. Iceland became even more worried when his brother did not respond. Norway's eyes were closed, and he wasn't moving. Thankfully, he was still breathing, and in fact his breathing was more even than it had been before he passed out.

For the first few moments, Iceland merely knelt there by his brother's side. He had no idea what to do, and he wasn't entirely sure what had just happened, either. "_Bróðir_,1" he whispered after a few moments. "_Bróðir, _please wake up." There was no response from Norway. Iceland realized then that he needed to call for help. That was the only thing he could do for his brother now.

He got up and went to get his cellphone. He had the numbers for the rest of the family on speed-dial, and he quickly pressed in the number for Finland's cellphone. He knew that Sweden and Finland were in a room just down the hall, and they were the only ones he could think to call. They were more likely to be able to help than Denmark was. And that was assuming that Denmark hadn't gone out drinking with several other nations, as he often did after world meetings.

As he waited for the call to connect, Iceland glanced back towards Norway to see that there had been no change in his condition.

The phone rang several times, before the call was answered. He hadn't thought about how late it was until the phone was picked up.

"Islanti, why are you calling so late? Did something happen?"

"I don't know what happened. He had a bad dream, I think, and when he woke up, he had another incident like the one at the meeting. I tried to talk to him, but he didn't act like he heard me. He was trying to leave the room, and he just collapsed. He won't respond, and he's not moving or anything." As he was recounting all this, Iceland had returned to his brother's side.

"Is he breathing?"

"Yes, better than he was before he collapsed."

Iceland could hear Sweden and Finland talking to each other on the end of the phone line. After a few moments, Finland said, "We'll be over soon. It's probably nothing too serious, though. If Norja wakes up before we get there, don't let him get up, and try to keep him calm."

Once he had hung up the phone, Iceland returned to his brother's side, just in time to see Norway open his eyes. He seemed a little disoriented, but there was no sign of his earlier panic.

Iceland made no move to touch his brother, remembering what had happened before. "Noregur?" he said, somewhat tentatively. He was a little afraid of frightening his brother. And he could not get rid of the thought that his existence was a constant reminder of what Scandia had done to Norway. Even though the letter had said otherwise, he still wondered sometimes.

"What happened?" Norway made no attempt to get up, and he seemed weak. He wasn't as weak as he had been that first day, but it could now be clearly seen that he wasn't doing as well as he had been trying to make the others think he was.

Iceland was trying to decide to best way to answer that question, when he heard a knock on the door. He got up and went to answer the door, not bothering to check and see who it was, as he already knew.

"He just woke up," Iceland told Sweden and Finland as he opened the door for them.

"That's a good sign." Finland entered the room and went to kneel down beside Norway. Sweden and Iceland stayed near the door, as they were both aware that Finland was currently the only one in the family who seemed to have any idea how to help Norway. "How are you feeling, Norja?" Finland asked, once he was kneeling by the other man.

At first it seemed like Norway wasn't going to reply, but after a few moments he said, "I'm all right. I don't remember what happened, though."

"What do you remember?"

". . . The meeting." It had taken him a few moments to answer.

"That was several hours ago," Finland said. "Are you sure you can't remember anything after that?"

Once again, a few moments passed before Norway responded. "No. What happened?" he asked, again. Despite his claim that he was alright, he had made no attempt to get up. That in itself was cause for worry, due to Norway's determination to never show any weakness.

Finland looked over towards Iceland, who was apparently the only one who really knew the answer to that question. And there was at least part of what had happened that Iceland had no intention of mentioning. As long as Norway did not remember it, there was no need to bring it up. Unlike the others, Iceland did not realize that the memory loss was a bad sign. He did, however, finally answer his brother's question, with on omission. "You had a nightmare, and were trying to leave the room, when you collapsed."

"Are you sure you're all right, Norja?" Finland asked. He knew it was unlikely that Norway would admit to not being all right, but he had to at least ask. "Do you feel sore anywhere?"

For a minute, it seemed like Norway wouldn't answer. Then, at last, he said, "My head hurts a little."

The others suspected it might be more than a little, since he had actually admitted it. Plus, a headache and the lack of memory could be signs of a hidden injury. They knew then that it was time to do what they had been hoping to avoid. None of them voiced that thought yet, though.

"Do you think you can sit up?" Finland asked.

A few moments later, Norway was sitting up, although Finland was still supporting him. For several minutes they sat like that; then Finland motioned for Sweden to come join them.

"Norja, do you feel ready to try to stand?" They needed to get him back to the bed at least. And they still needed to figure out whether or not he was injured.

"I think so," Norway said after a few moments. He had not even managed to sit up without being supported yet, though, so it was somewhat doubtful that he would be able to stand. But the others were clearly prepared to help him. And it turned out to be a good thing that they had been prepared. As soon as Norway was standing, another wave of lightheadness swept over him, and he almost fell again. This time, though, they were able to prevent him from falling, and Sweden carried him over to the bed.

Iceland had stayed near the door the whole time. He was feeling guilty about not having been able to prevent Norway from falling earlier, and he had not wanted to make things worse for his brother. So, he had kept his distance.

For a couple of minutes, no one said anything. Three of them, at least, were pretty much thinking the same thing, but no one seemed ready to voice those thoughts. At last, Finland was the one who said what they had all been thinking. "I think we need to take Norja to a hospital. His condition is getting too serious for us to be able to help him, and I'm worried that he might be injured." That was what most of the family had realized after the incident at the meeting, but none of them had wanted to be the one to say it.

Norway was lying on the bed where he had been placed. He had made no attempt to move, and his eyes were closed again. Seeing him like that, the others were struck by how frail he looked. And they realized that, even with the risks it entailed, they had no other choice. They had to make sure that Norway got professional help, or they might lose him.

* * *

A little over an hour later, they were at the hospital. Norway had been taken back to be examined, and the others were left out in the waiting room to wait for news on his condition. They had spent the first half hour of the wait trying to get hold of Denmark. Despite the amount of time it took them to get hold of Denmark, it did not take him long to arrive after being informed of the situation.

"Where's Norge?" Denmark asked, as soon as he joined them in the waiting room.

"_Haldor_ is still being examined. No one has told us anything yet," Finland answered. He emphasized Norway's human name as a reminder that they were in public, and needed to be using human names.

"How did he get hurt?"

"We think he hit his head on the floor when he fainted."

Before they could say anything more, a doctor entered the room. "Are you the ones waiting for news on Haldor? We're going to admit him. He is severely malnourished, and exhausted. He also has a concussion. We want to keep him under observation for a couple of days, and make sure his condition doesn't worsen."

They had known that Norway's condition wasn't good, but hearing everything listed like that really drove the point home. And they regretted not having gotten him real help sooner.

The doctor was still talking. "After we have gotten him settled in a room, you can go up and see him. In the meantime, I would like to ask you some questions about his condition." He led them to another room where they could talk privately before he began his questioning.

"When we examined Haldor, we couldn't find a medical cause for the amount of weight he has lost, and we don't have any information about his medical history. Is there any chance he could have an eating disorder?"

"No, there isn't," Denmark answered, without even taking time to think about it. "We would know if he was doing something like that to himself." Nevermind that none of them had ever the slightest idea of what Scandia was doing to Norway. And of course none of them knew what may have happened during the five months Norway was missing.

"Sometimes the family is the last to notice. Do you know if he has any history of that kind of behavior at all?"

For a few moments, no one spoke. The rest of the family was trying to remember if Norway had ever shown signs of anything like that before. After a few moments of thinking, they realized that none of them could say for sure. Norway had always been careful to keep at least some distance from the rest of the family, especially since becoming independent, so they had no idea what other secrets he may have been hiding. They certainly didn't want to believe that Norway would do something like that himself, but they were beginning to realize just how little they had really known about him.

The doctor was the one who broke the silence. "Considering the fact that you can't give a definite answer as to whether he has a history of that behavior, and given how underweight he is right now, he should probably be evaluated for an eating disorder. In fact, I would recommend that he be referred to a mental health professional, as his physical problems seem to be the result of an underlying psychological issue. Has he been through anything traumatic recently, that any of you know about?"

Once again, there was silence for a few moments. Obviously the family knew the answer to that question, but they did not know how to answer it, without giving away information that could not be revealed. And even almost six months later, the knowledge was still too fresh for them to really feel ready to tell a stranger about it.

"We just found out a few months ago, that he was abused by his father," Finland answered. "And, there were a few incidents that happened about six months ago, when his father was visiting. He was allowing it that time, in an attempt to protect his younger brother, Eirik." Obviously, there was more to the story than that, but that much was at least the basic information that the doctor might need to help Norway.

The doctor was silent a few moments before speaking again. "Based on that, I would say that you definitely need to see that he gets psychological help. Medically there is very little we can do for him. We can attempt to treat the malnutrition, so that he is in less danger, and we do want to monitor him because of the concussion. However, unless he gets help dealing with the trauma, his condition will probably keep getting worse."

That was pretty much what they had been beginning to suspect, but now that it was confirmed they were left with one big question. How could they get Norway to admit that he needed help?

* * *

It was about another fifteen minutes before they were shown to Norway's room. Once again, they were struck by how frail he looked. There was an IV going into his hand, probably as a way of treating the malnutrition he was suffering from. At first they thought he was asleep, but as they entered the room, he opened his eyes, and turned his head towards them. It still seemed as though he wasn't quite focusing on them. He did seem calmer than he had been earlier, at least.

None of the others went too near to the bed, out of fear of bringing back the earlier panic. They didn't know yet what the attacks were triggered by, and they did not want to set one off. For several moments, there was silence, as no one was quite sure how to break it.

"I remember what happened after the meeting," Norway said, at last. He turned away from them again.

That should have been cause for relief, but something about how Norway was acting made the others think that there was more to the situation then they knew. If nothing else, though, they were glad that his memory seemed to be okay after all.

After a few moments had passed in a rather uncomfortable silence, Norway turned his head to face them again, and his eyes sought out Iceland, who was standing near the door. "Island, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." He closed his eyes, but did not turn away.

This time, the silence was even more uncomfortable. Denmark, Sweden, and Finland were all trying to figure out what Norway was talking about. Iceland did not look away from his brother, but he said nothing. He did not think he could in front of the rest of the family, and he was still afraid that any action he took might make things worse. Although he wanted to assure Norway that there was nothing to apologize for, he could not find the words with which to do so. At last, he knew he needed to do something, and so he finally approached the bed, and took hold of his brother's hand. "_Bróðir_, there is nothing you need to apologize for."

Norway did not open his eyes, and instead, he turned away from them again. He gave no acknowledgment that he never knew his hand was being held, and made no move to return the gesture. "They were right to take you away from me. I am no different than _him_. Now, go away before it happens again."

Iceland did not let go of his brother's hand. "Noregur . . ." He couldn't think of what to say, though, and so, all he was able to say was his brother's name. There was no response from Norway. His eyes were closed, and he was still facing away from them. The silence in the room was so heavy that it could almost be felt.

Finland was the one who broke the silence. "We'll let you get some rest, Norja." He could tell that Norway didn't really want them there at the moment.

And so, the family went out into the hall, leaving Norway alone in the room. Sweden and Finland went back to the hotel then. They needed to see about making arrangements to extend their stay, and arrange for Sealand to be looked after until they got home. They were able to get Iceland to go with them, although it had been no easy task.

Denmark was the only member of the family to stay behind at the hospital, as he refused to leave Norway. He was angry at himself not having protected Norway, and the fact that Scandia was still going unpunished didn't help. Later, during the small hours of the morning, as he sat by Norway's bedside, Denmark vowed to himself that he would do anything he could to protect Norway from being hurt like that ever again. He would do everything possible to keep Norway safe.

* * *

Denmark had barely left Norway's bedside since taking up a station there. Norway had slept most of the time, although someone came in to wake him every couple hours, in order to make sure he was not developing complications from the concussion. However, as soon as the check was complete, he would go right back to sleep.

Towards midmorning, Norway's sleep grew more restless. His eyes were moving rapidly behind his closed eyelids, and every so often, he let out a small cry. It was obvious that he was dreaming about something unpleasant.

When the nightmare had started, Denmark had taken hold of Norway's hand, and with his other hand, he began to run his fingers through Norway's hair, brushing the loose fringe back from his face, in an attempt to soothe him. It seemed to make no difference, and if anything, Norway grew increasingly distressed.

Several minutes after the start of the nightmare, Norway awoke. He looked around at his surroundings with no sign of familiarity. He was breathing rapidly again.

Remembering what had happened earlier, Denmark made sure not to touch Norway. He had gotten a lecture from the rest of the family for having made Norway's first panic attack worse. "Nor, calm down. There's nothing to be afraid of here."

Norway gave no sign of having heard him, and he was still breathing far too rapidly. He did not seem to really be aware of his surroundings at that moment.

Thankfully, a nurse entered the room shortly after that. She immediately realized what the situation was, and approached the bed. It took her a couple moments, but she was able to get Norway to calm down. When the attack had passed, she quickly left the room in search of a doctor.

This attack, the third in two days, had drained what little strength Norway had. He was even paler than usual, and his eyes were almost closed. However, he seemed to be trying to keep from falling asleep again.

Denmark had been forced to leave his station by Norway's bedside while the nurse was in the room, but now he returned and sat down again.

So far, Norway had given no sign that he even knew Denmark was there, but there was nothing unusual about that. Now, though, Norway turned his head enough so that it was clear that he was looking at Denmark. When he spoke his voice was barely more than a whisper. "Anko, don't let me fall asleep again. That's when he comes." He used the old nickname that he had called Denmark by when they were younger.

Denmark took hold of Norway's hand again. He could tell that the younger man was frightened of something, but he had no idea what. "When who comes, Nor?"

"_Far_2."

Denmark regretted not having killed Scandia when he had the chance. He hated seeing Norway like this. "He can't hurt you anymore." That was all he could think of to say.

Whatever response Norway might have made to that went unsaid as a doctor entered the room. This doctor was not the same one they had spoken to the night before, as the shifts had changed since then. He approached the bed, and briefly evaluated Norway's condition; then he turned to Denmark. "Sir, I need you to leave the room so I can examine him."

Denmark was still waiting out in the hall when the rest of the family returned to the hospital. They could tell immediately that something was wrong. However, before they could say anything, the doctor came out into the hallway.

"He's very weak, but there don't seem to be any complications from the attack. Try to keep him as calm as you can, though. These attacks are using up strength that he cannot afford to do without." After giving that brief summary, he walked away down the hall, without giving them time to ask any questions.

They were surprised and dismayed to hear that Norway had had another attack. And when they saw how much weaker he was, they were even more dismayed.

All through the rest of that day and night, they took turns sitting with Norway. Although they kept a close eye on him, they saw no great cause for concern beyond his lingering weakness, and the nightmare did not recur.

* * *

On the morning of the second day, the doctor said that Norway was well enough to leave the hospital. He had not developed any complications from the concussion, and he was sleeping and eating okay.

The other Nordics weren't completely convinced that Norway was recovering. They had noticed that he was afraid to sleep, and he was still so weak. When they mentioned these concerns to the doctor, though, he quickly dismissed them.

"Haldor should be fine, as long as he rests. As for his fear of sleeping, there is no basis to it, and you must not encourage it. The combination of lack of sleep and PTSD is making him paranoid, so you must make sure he sleeps. I am going to prescribe something that will help him sleep, and that might help with the panic attacks, if he has anymore. And if his condition worsens, you should consider placing him under the care of a mental health professional." Having said what he felt was necessary, he did not even given them a chance to reply, or even to ask any more questions they might have had.

**

* * *

**

Translations:

1 Brother - Icelandic

2 Father - Norwegian

**Author's notes:**

_The hospital situation:_ This is just an explanation, in case anyone notices that contradiction from last chapter. In the previous chapter, in the scene where the other Nordics were discussing Norway's condition, and what to do about it, there was a statement that taking him to a hospital was not an option. Then, in this chapter, they end up taking him to the hospital. There are two reasons they did not want to take him to a hospital before. One of these reasons was because there are parts of what happened to Norway that a human wouldn't be able to understand. When they were afraid he might be seriously injured, they decided it was worth the risk, and just tried to hide the fact that he wasn't human and give as few details as they could. There is still another reason why they didn't want to take him a hospital, but that is going to be a plot point later.

_Why I used a name from the Japanese:_ As readers may have noticed, for the most part I have tried to only use names that come from the characters' languages, rather than using any Japanese names. However, in this chapter, I had the scene where Norway called Denmark "Anko." The reason is, when I first saw that name used, I did not realize it was from the Japanese; I just thought it was some sort of nickname. And so, that was what I will use it as in my stories.

_The Northern agreement:_ In answer to a question from someone who reviewed "Family Secrets." The Northern agreement was from a prompt at the Kink Meme. I liked the idea of all the northern nations having a deal like that with General Winter, and so that part of the prompt became part of my headcanon. (To the extent that I've actually said that the reason there were so many storms this winter is because someone didn't honor the Northern Agreement.) I knew someone had written a story as a fill for the prompt, but I did not realize the agreement had been in so many stories. I would imagine the other people using it got it from the Kink Meme as well.

Chapter Three will probably be posted sometime next week, but I want to try to get Chapter Six written first, so I can't give a date for sure.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: **If you are trying to update a story, and get a type 2 error message, all you need to do is go to the address bar (the place where you would type in the address of a website you want to go to) and replace the word _property_ with the word_ content_. That will let you post a new chapter.

**Warnings:** The warnings from previous chapters still apply, and, as stated in previous chapters, any foreign language bits might be wrong, as I used an online translator. Also, this chapter will contain an apparent suicide attempt.

* * *

Chapter Three

After that, they had gone home. There had been some debate about exactly where to go, as there was no question that the family was staying together for the time being. None of them felt comfortable with the idea of leaving Norway alone in his current condition, especially after he had disappeared for five the months the last time they left him alone. In the end, they had taken him to his own house, believing that he might recover sooner in his own territory.

For the first day it seemed to work. Norway had spent most of the day resting, as he was still weak and still had a little bit of a headache from the concussion. They were able to get him to eat a little, but he did not have much of an appetite. Once he fell asleep that night, they left him alone, hoping he would sleep through the night.

They were proven wrong in the middle of the night, when they were awoken by a scream. They hurried to Norway's room to find him caught in the grip of a nightmare. Norway had curled up on his side, his blankets tangled around him and soaked with sweat. He was crying in his sleep.

"Norge." Denmark approached the bed, and reached out to touch Norway's shoulder.

"Wait. Don't touch him," Finland said. "You don't know how he might react."

There was no reason to dispute that, as by now the whole family had learned what had happened in the hotel room. None of them knew what to do, though, and they could only watch as a member of their family suffered. Shortly after they had entered the room, the nightmare intensified.

Norway had begun thrashing around, making the covers become even more tangled around him. Since that scream that had awoken the rest of the family, he had been quiet; even the tears running down his face were silent tears. Now, though, a couple of soft cries escaped him, and soon he started talking. "_Nei . . . nei. Stopp det! Gå vekk! Nei!_1_"_ With one final scream, he awoke.

Like every other time he had awoken from a nightmare, Norway was breathing too rapidly and looking around the room with no sign of recognition. The fact that he was in his own bedroom made no difference in his ability to calm down.

Finland approached the bed, but made no attempt to touch Norway. He kept his voice as calm as he could when he spoke. "Norja, you're safe. You're in your own house."

"He was here," Norway said. He did not seem any calmer; the fear had settled deep in his eyes. "He won't leave me alone."

"Norja, no one is here except us."

Norway shook his head. "No-he was here. He won't go away. Make him go away."

The rest of the family exchanged concerned glances. None of them could make any sense of what Norway was saying. However, at the moment, the important thing was to get Norway calmed down, and none of them were sure how to do that. After all, they could not really address his fears, and they had been given instructions not to encourage the fear.

"Norja, no one here is going to hurt you. You are safe. You're in your own house, and your father isn't anywhere near here," Finland said, making another attempt to get through to Norway.

Norway didn't respond, and he still seemed to be having trouble catching his breath.

Well, that was something that could be dealt with at least. Once the panic attack had been dealt with, they could deal with convincing Norway that Scandia was not a threat to him anymore. "Norja, try to focus on breathing." As he once again helped Norway recover from a panic attack, Finland made a mental note to teach the others how to do this.

It took longer this time for Norway to calm down, and even once his breathing had returned to normal he still seemed afraid. He was also completely exhausted, as the frequent panic attacks were using strength that he didn't have to spare.

As exhausted as he was, Norway was obviously forcing himself to stay awake. Every time his eyes would start to close, he would force them open again. None of the others said anything, but they didn't leave the room either. They weren't sure what to do. Norway needed rest in order to regain his strength, but he didn't seem able to sleep without nightmares.

* * *

When morning came, Norway was still awake, and the rest of the family had left him alone a few hours ago. He was glad they had left him alone, as he was getting tired of being watched almost constantly.

Norway got out of bed and walked slowly to the bathroom. His pace was slow and somewhat unsteady, and a couple of times he had to steady himself on something when a wave of dizziness came over him, but he managed to avoid collapsing again.

As he stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom, he was shocked by his appearance. Dark shadows around his eyes stood out in sharp contrast to the sickly pallor of his skin. He had always been on the thin side, but now that was even more pronounced. His nightclothes were so loose they were almost hanging off of him. Until that moment, he had not really noticed his changed appearance. Now, he realized why his family watched him so closely.

Although Norway had been aware that he had lost weight, he had not realized just how much. He hadn't looked this bad since during the Occupation, and at least then he'd had a valid excuse.

Hoping it would wake him up a little, Norway took a quick shower. Then he got dressed and went downstairs. By the time the rest of the family came down, he was already on his second cup of coffee.

"Did you get anymore sleep last night?" Finland asked as he poured his own cup of coffee.

"A little," Norway answered. He knew the others would probably realize he was lying, but he didn't really care.

"You need to eat something as well." Finland decided there was no point in making a big deal about the sleep issue. If necessary, he would give Norway one of the sleeping pills the doctor had prescribed.

Norway didn't respond to that. He merely took another sip of his coffee.

Once breakfast had been prepared, they did get Norway to eat a little, but nowhere near as much as they wanted him to. He didn't have much of an appetite after several months of barely eating.

"You don't all need to stay here," Norway told them after breakfast was over. "I can manage on my own."

"We're not leaving you alone in this condition, Nor," Denmark said.

"I'm an independent nation, Danmark. I don't need you to take care of me anymore." Norway turned to Sweden and Finland. "And the two of you have your son to look after." Then he looked at Iceland. For a few moments, he didn't say anything. Then, at last, he said, "Island, I told you to leave before I hurt you again."

Iceland reached across the table and placed his hand on top of Norway's. "You didn't hurt me," he said.

"I hit you," Norway whispered.

"But you didn't mean to." Iceland had never blamed Norway for what had happened in the hotel room. If anything he blamed himself.

"I'm no better than _far_."2 Norway was no longer able to keep up the pretense that everything was okay.

"Norja, you are nothing like Scandia. We all know that you didn't hurt Islanti on purpose. And we know what you went through to protect him. And we aren't leaving you until we know that you'll be all right."

"You don't know what I did," Norway whispered.

"Norge, n'thing y' did could change th' fact that w' care 'bout y'. Y're our l'ttle brother. W' should've done a bett'r job of protect'ng y'."

"No, you don't, _søta bror_3." The nickname was said with the usual amount of irony. "You never cared about me. You never thought about what would happen to us when you ran off with Finland. You took me away from my son, just because you needed a replacement for Finland. You never trusted me to take care of myself! You've been waiting for me to fail since I became independent! And you let _them_ through!"

None of them were quite sure what Norway was talking about with that last accusation. The others had been easy enough to figure out, though. Before any of them could ask though, Norway got up from his seat at the table and walked out of the room. There was no sound of the door opening and closing, though, so they just assumed he had probably going upstairs to his bedroom, and that it might be best to leave him alone for a little while. They were no longer sure what they could do to help Norway, and it was becoming clearer every day that he needed help. This didn't seem to be something he could get over on his own; the condition he was in after five months of trying made that quite clear. They were also beginning to suspect that there might be something else bothering him, something more than what Scandia had done.

For the rest of that day, Norway stayed in his room. At lunch time and dinner time, one of them would take a tray up for him, and leave it outside his door when he refused to let them in. Later, the tray would be gone, so they knew that at least he was eating.

Like the previous night, they were once again all woken up in the middle of the night by the sound of his screams. This time, though, they were unable to get into his room, as he had locked the door.

* * *

The next day, Norway did not leave his room at all. Any time that one of the others would go up and knock on his door, he would refuse to talk to them. The only bit of relief they got from their worry, was that he would accept food when they brought it up for him. After all, in the condition Norway was currently in, he really couldn't afford to lose any more weight.

By the fourth day of such behavior, the rest of the Nordics decided this had gone on long enough. They needed to get Norway to talk to them. Somehow. Although how they were going to do that when Norway wouldn't even come out of his room . . . well, that was what none of them could figure out. They had tried all day to come up with a plan, and by evening, they were seriously considering Denmark's idea of breaking the door down with his axe.

Realizing that destroying his house was probably not the best way to get Norway to talk to them, Finland decided to make one last attempt to get Norway to open the door. He went up and knocked. "Norja, we're all getting worried about you. Please talk to us."

There was no reply, but considering the usual response was being told to go away, the lack of response may have been a good sign.

"Norja, if you don't let us in, Tanska is going to use his axe to destroy your door." Finland was starting to agree that they may need to resort to drastic measures. For all they knew, Norway could be hurt . . . or worse. "Norja, if you won't talk to any of us at least find someone you can talk to."

This time there was an answer. "I don't want anyone to know what I did." The statement was barely loud enough to have heard through the door, and there was something off about the way Norway's voice sounded.

"There is nothing you could have done that would change the fact that we all care about you. Norja, we want to help you, but you need to trust us."

For a long time, there was no response. Then there were sounds, as if someone was moving around on the other side of the door. After a few moments, the lock clicked, but the door remained closed. A few moments later, when Finland tried the door again, the knob turned easily and he was able to enter Norway's room.

Norway was sitting on the edge of the bed. His face had no color in it, except for the shadows around his eyes. His hair seemed to be in need of washing, and it was partially obscuring his face, instead of being held back by his hair clip. There were tear stains on his face. Most disturbing of all was the bloodstain on the left sleeve of his sweater.

Finland quickly crossed the room to the bed, and studied Norway for any other sign of injury. "Norja, let me see your arm."

Hesitantly, Norway held out his arm, so Finland could examine it. Immediately, Finland could tell that the situation was as serious as he had feared. Most of the blood on the sleeve had come from a large cut on Norway's wrist. The cut was still bleeding steadily; and the blood was dark red in color. There were other small cuts, in addition to the dangerous one, but those cuts all looked older, and none of them were currently bleeding.

Finland looked around for something he could use to stop the bleeding. He found a pack of gauze that he could have sworn hadn't been there a minute ago. Not wanting to waste time questioning this, he grabbed some of the gauze and held it over Norway's wound in an attempt to stop, or at least slow, the bleeding. "I need you to keep your arm raised and try to hold this in place with your other hand. I'm going to call for help."

"No, I don't want anyone to know." Despite his protest, Norway did as he was told.

"You pretty much lost the right to make that decision when you tried to kill yourself." Then realized a statement like that probably wouldn't help the situation, Finland added, "I'm just going to get the others. I understand that you don't want any of your people to know about this, but we may not have a choice." Not allowing Norway the chance to protest again, Finland went out into the hall. He didn't want to be out of the room for too long, though, as he knew that leaving Norway alone was not a good idea right now. So he went to the top of the stairs, and called, "Norja's hurt!" Then, he hurried back to the bedroom, and resumed putting pressure on the wound.

Only moments later, Denmark, Sweden, and Iceland entered the room. They immediately came to the same conclusion that Finland had - that Norway had tried to kill himself. There was no time to think about it, though. At the moment, the only thing that matter was making sure the attempt didn't succeed.

"Sve, Tanska, I need the two of you to find where Norja keeps his medical supplies," Finland said. "I don't want to leave him alone for the time it would take to look." Since the nations had to keep their true identities secret from most humans, and since they sometimes suffered from symptoms that had no physical cause, their homes were kept stocked with a decent range of medical supplies.

Sweden and Denmark immediately left to search for the medical kit, for once actually able to work together without arguing. Their inability to get along was pushed aside for the moment by the need to save their brother.

Not having been given anything to do, Iceland just stayed by the door of his brother's room, watching what was happening. Norway had not looked towards the door since the others had entered, and he didn't seem fully aware by this point anyway; he hadn't spoken since that comment about not wanting anyone to know, and if possible, he was even paler than he had been a few moments ago. Finland's attention had been focused completely on Norway, and it was not until he turned away to get another piece of gauze, as the first had been soaked through with blood, that he ever noticed that Iceland was standing there watching.

"Islanti, why don't you go downstairs? You don't need to watch this." If he had been thinking about it before, he would have kept Iceland from entering the room in the first place. This really wasn't something that the younger nation should be witnessing. "I'll make sure someone tells you, once we know if Norja will be all right, but right now, we need to focus on taking care of him."

Iceland seemed about to protest, but then, he turned and left the room to go back downstairs.

**

* * *

**

Translations:

11No . . . no. Stop it! Go away! No! (Norwegian)

22Father (Norwegian)

33Sweet brother (Norwegian)

**

* * *

**

Author's notes:

Since no one reviewed the last chapter, I don't have any questions to answer. However, I do want to give a historical explanation, and some information about when the next update will be posted. And I would also like to thank everyone who reviewed chapter one, and favorite the story or put it on alert.

_Historical information:_ I thought I would give a little explanation of some of what was said earlier than chapter, when Norway listed all the things that proved that Sweden didn't care about him. The first two are probably obvious; the first was a reference to when Sweden and Finland ran away together, leaving Norway and Iceland alone with Denmark; the second is a reference to what happened in 1814, when Norway was forced to enter into a union with Sweden, and had to leave Iceland behind. The next reference is actually some I got from a travel guide to Scandinavia. According to that book, when Norway first got independence from Sweden, the Swedish king apparently said something about how Norway would mess up so badly that in a few years they would be begging to come back into the union. The final reference is about the fact that the German soldiers who invaded Norway during World War II came through Sweden.

_Update status:_ I posted this chapter sooner than I originally intended to, because I wanted to get that author's note at the beginning out. I probably will not be updating this story again until sometime in April.

_Please review._ I would really like to know what people think of this story.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Once he had been sent back downstairs, Iceland had been left with nothing to do but wait. He kept seeing the image over again in his mind, and he couldn't get his mind to accept what Norway had done. And he was terrified of the possibility of losing his brother.

Six months ago, when he had first learned the truth of his parentage, Iceland hadn't known how to think of Norway. It had been hard enough to come to terms with the fact that they were brothers. Finding out that Norway was– He wasn't really sure how to finish that thought. Technically, Norway was his mother, but that was just too weird. And yet, he couldn't really refer to Norway as his father, could he? And how was he supposed to deal with the fact that his existence was a reminder of the traumatic event Norway was having so much trouble dealing with? Iceland kept coming back to that one thought. What if Norway's suicide attempt was his fault? What if his existence caused the death of the person who meant so much to him?

Close to an hour passed before Sweden and Finland came downstairs. Iceland couldn't tell from their expressions what had happened, although he could tell that the situation was serious. But then, he already knew that much. "Is Noregur alright?" he asked, when they did not immediately say anything.

"He will be. We found him before he'd lost too much blood." Meaning it had been possible to treat the injury with the available medical supplies.

"Can I go see him?" Iceland needed the visual confirmation that Norway was still alive.

Finland nodded. "For a few minutes, but don't wake him. He needs rest if he's going to recover. And when you come back down here, Sve and I need to talk to you."

Somehow Iceland sensed that he probably wasn't going to like whatever it was that Sweden and Finland wanted to talk to him about. Trying not to think about that, Iceland went upstairs to see his brother.

Norway was sleeping peacefully for the first time in several days. A bandage had been wrapped around his left arm, in order to keep the dressing over the wound. There was an IV going into his other arm, in order to treat the dehydration caused by blood loss. And it was obvious that Norway had lost a lot of blood; he was almost as pale as the snow that covered much of his land.

Iceland hesitated in the doorway, not wanting to enter the room and risk waking his brother. And anyway, it wasn't like Norway was alone in the room. Denmark had pulled a chair up to Norway's bedside and didn't seem to have any intention of leaving anytime soon. A couple of times, Iceland thought he saw someone else in the room, but it was only an impression out of the corner of his eyes. Whenever he looked directly at the spot, he never saw anyone there.

Once he had reassured himself that his brother was alright, at least for the time being, Iceland went back downstairs. The others probably hadn't been expecting him back so soon, because he caught part of a conversation he didn't think he was supposed to hear.

"I don't know what else we can do," Finland was saying. "We can't force Norja to accept our help, and if he's actually suicidal, we're not qualified to help him anyway."

"We'll just h've t' watch h'm," Sweden said.

"That won't fix the problem, though. And once he's recovered, physically, you know how he'll feel about having you and Tanska watching him all the time. If he thinks you're trying to take away his independence, that may push him over the edge, and we could lose him. He's been getting farther away from us ever since the meeting. I just wish he would talk to us. Whatever he's hiding is really hurting him."

"You said that he'd be alright," Iceland said, making his presence known.

Finland turned toward the door. It was clear from his expression that he hadn't known Iceland was there. "Islanti, I thought you were still upstairs!"

"I didn't want to risk upsetting Noregur," Iceland said.

"Come in and sit down, then. We need to talk to you."

Iceland came into the living room and sat down in a chair across from Sweden and Finland, who were sitting together on the couch. "Will Noregur really be okay?" he asked, dreading the answer after what he had just heard.

"He will be alright, physically," Finland said after a few moments. "Beyond that, I don't know."

"Is there any way to help him?"

"I don't know. I have no idea how to help someone who is suicidal. Norja needs more help than any of us can give him at this point." Silence fell again for a few moments before Finland continued. "Islanti, I wish I could tell you something more positive, but you're old enough to know the truth."

For the first time in a long time, Iceland almost wished he wasn't old enough. Usually, he tried so hard to get his family to treat him like an adult. Now, though, he just wanted someone to tell him Norway would be okay. "There has to be some way to help him."

"We can't do anything for him until he wants our help, though," Finland said. "We will try everything possible to help him, but in the end, it's going to depend on him. He has to want to live, or he won't get better." Once again silence fell. It was as if he was trying to put off something that he felt needed to be said. "This is the part you're not going to like, Islanti," Finland said at last. "We think that, for your own safety, it would be best if you went back to your house. There are too many cases of people killing their children before committing suicide, and Norja said he was afraid of hurting you."

"But I can't leave him," Iceland protested. "What if you can't save him?" He wiped away the tears that were starting to fall. Even now, he was still concerned with not being seen as a child. Maybe, especially now, since maybe if they didn't see him as a child, they wouldn't send him away.

"We're going t' save h'm. Even 'f we h've t' watch h'm all th' time unt'l he's better."

Since Iceland had overheard the fact that Finland didn't think that strategy would work, he didn't feel too confident, but that didn't stop him from using it as a way to convince them to let him stay. "If you're going to watch him all the time, then he can't do anything. So why can't I help?"

"Islanti, we are going to do everything we can to help Norja, but we can't guarantee anything. So far, the only idea we have is to watch him constantly, and you know how he will handle that. You heard what he said to Sve a few days ago." Finland sighed. "We want to be sure that you are safe. And if we do fail to save him, we don't want you to have to witness it."

Iceland could tell that his chances of getting them to change their minds were slim. But he couldn't stand the thought that if he left, he might never see Norway again. "Please, I don't want to be separated from him again. Not when it means possibly never seeing him again and not even getting a chance to say goodbye."

"If I'd kn'wn y' were h's son, I would't h've separated y' from h'm, b'f're," Sweden said. "W' tried t' get b'th of y'."

"Then why didn't you let us see each other?" Iceland asked. "You could have at least allowed us that much." He still remembered how it had hurt, being left behind when Norway had gone to live with Sweden. They hadn't seen each other again until after World War II, and the long years apart had left them as virtual strangers. They had had to relearn how to act around each other.

"I didn't w'nt t' risk Norge falling b'ck under Danmark's c'ntrol, 'nd Danmark wouldn't let y' come visit."

Iceland wasn't sure he completely believed that explanation, but it was the first explanation he had ever been given for the separation. But, it didn't change that fact that at moment, he did not want to be separated from Norway again. He tried the only strategy he could think of to change their minds—begging. "Please let me stay and help."

"We just don't think it's a good idea for you stay here," Finland said. "You don't have to leave right away, though. You can stay at least until Norja has recovered enough, physically, that you can talk to him long enough to say good bye. And there is one thing that you can do to help us, after you leave, if you would be willing to watch Sealand for us. He's currently staying with England, but we don't want to leave him there for too long. You know that he doesn't get along with England."

Iceland wasn't sure if he could look after Sealand for an unspecified length of time. He hadn't really known what to make of the micronation ever since the first time they had met. Since that first meeting, they had often seen other at family gatherings, and Iceland had frequently gotten drafted to entertain Sealand. However, the rest of the family had always been around, or at least, only gone for a few hours. But, he did know that Sealand wouldn't want to be left with England for too long, and at least this was something he could do. "I guess," he said, somewhat hesitantly. He was still determined to find a way to avoid being sent away, though.

* * *

The next morning when Norway woke up, he barely had the strength to open his eyes. He had only vague memories of what had happened the night before. In fact, he had almost no clear memories of what had happened since he had first locked himself in his room.

Soon after awakening, he became aware of a pain in his left wrist. By the time he became fully aware of that, he had managed to force his eyes to open a little. He could see enough to know that he was still in his bedroom, but lacked the strength to turn his head to look around anymore.

He felt a pressure on his uninjured hand, and realized that someone was holding his hand. He was saved from having to look and see who it was, when the grip on his hand tightened, and a familiar voice said, "Nor, you're awake." There was a definite tone of relief in the voice, which he recognized as Denmark's.

"Anko," Norway whispered. He did not have the strength to speak above a whisper. "What happened?"

Denmark did not reply to Norway's question. Instead, he said, "We were worried last night, Nor. Why did you do that?"

Norway was starting to remember what had happened, but he did not know how to answer Denmark's question. He could feel his strength draining, just from having spoken, and his eyes were starting to drift closed again.

* * *

Over the course of that day, Norway woke up a couple more times, but he never managed to stay awake for long. A couple of times, Finland made him stay awake long enough to eat or drink something.

He was never alone. Every time he woke up, at least one other member of his family was in the room with him. A couple of times all of them had been there. As he began to become more aware, he could tell that they wanted to question him. However, whenever he was awake, they said nothing of what had occurred the night before.

The rest of the family only talked about what had happened when Norway couldn't hear them. They had discovered earlier that day that once he fell asleep, their talking would not wake him.

"Are you sure he'll be okay? He's so weak. He can't even stay awake."

"I think he'll be alright, though. He was already weak from everything that he's been through."

That exchange had been the first of many similar ones. All of them were worried, and they no longer had any idea how to help Norway.

As the days passed, Norway's condition did not improve. At least, not enough to assuage his family's worry. The only thing they could think that gave them any hope was that maybe this was finally the low point. Maybe the situation would improve from here. Either way, they knew they were at least coming to a bend in the road. However, they could not be sure of what was lay behind. Although they hoped the situation might improve from this point, there was always a nagging fear that it may in fact worsen.

* * *

Two days later, there was still very little change in Norway's condition. He was able to stay awake for slightly longer periods of time, but not by much. The rest of the family was beginning to regret the decision to not take him to a hospital. However, at the same time, they were worried about what might happen if Norway's government learned about his suicide attempt. And the couple times they had tried to raise the topic with him, Norway had always refused to be taken to a hospital. He continued to insist that he didn't want anyone to know.

By evening of the third day, though, the rest of the family basically overruled his objections and took him to the nearest hospital. They were becoming too worried that the condition Norway had already been in was hampering his ability to recover from his injury.

Like the previous time they had taken him to the hospital, the rest of the family was left to wait while Norway was being examined. Like the previous time, the wait seemed much longer to them then it was in reality. Sweden and Finland sat down together on one of the benches in the waiting room. Denmark paced the length of the waiting room, and a couple times seemed to be considering whether threatening someone would make them be given the information sooner. Iceland had sat down on another bench, a little ways away from the rest of the family, and was trying desperately to hide just how worried he was.

Although the wait seemed interminable, they were probably waiting for an hour at the most, before a doctor came out to speak to them. "I think we should go to another room, before I tell you anything," he said. "Some of what I have to say is best discussed in private."

The rest of the family found that a little worrying, but they saw no real cause to protest, and so they followed the doctor to a smaller room. This room wasn't an office; instead it seemed to be a room that had been set up for meetings like this.

"I know who he really is, and I am assuming that is why you didn't bring him in sooner," the doctor said. "I can't pretend to know everything that has been going on, but based on the condition that Haldor is in, you should have brought him in months ago. If he was human, he probably wouldn't even be alive at this point." Although the doctor's words were accusing, it was hard to tell from his tone whether he was really accusing them.

"We have been trying to help him," Finland said. "Something happened, a couple of weeks ago, that worsened his condition. We're not sure what triggered this, but since it happened, we haven't been able to get through to him. Everything we've tried has failed, and he just gets farther away with us with every day that passes."

"Well, I might as well tell you that the government was informed after Haldor was brought in. We needed to make sure that there hadn't been some kind of national emergency that may have caused his condition. According to them, nothing out of the ordinary has happened, and they have not known where he was since the middle of July. I imagine they will be sending someone to question all of you further. After all, Haldor is very important to all of us, and we are very concerned by the condition he has ended up in."

"Will he be all right?" That question was on all of their minds, and had been every since the revelation during Scandia's visit.

"Hopefully," the doctor replied. "We will see to it that he is given the best care available from this point forward. After all, we cannot afford to lose him. For the time being, I cannot give you any definite information about Haldor's condition. Someone from the government will be by in the morning to speak to you, and they will authorize how much you can be told."

"Can we see him?" This time, Iceland was the one to ask the question. Having already been dismissed by the rest of the family, he could recognize the fact that they were all about to be dismissed. However, as he was still unwilling to be separated from Norway, he hoped that he was wrong about what was about to happen.

"Not tonight," the doctor replied. "He's too weak for visitors right now."

That dismissal was clear enough for all of them to recognize, but they decided it could wait until morning. After all, in the morning, they would have to speak to someone from the government anyway, and maybe after that, they could get permission to see Norway. And maybe he really was too weak for visitors.

* * *

It wasn't just one government official that showed up the next morning. Several arrived, at the earliest possible "reasonable hour" in the morning. Most of these officials were busy meeting with the doctors. It was a lower level official that was delegated to the job of meeting with the rest of the Nordics. This meeting took place in the same room where the conversation from the night before had taken place.

"We're trying to figure out how Haldor ended up in this condition," the government official said, getting right down to business.

"We don't know. We didn't even know where he was for five months."

The government official looked at a folder that was in front of him. "Yes, we know that you were looking for him shortly after he took a leave of absence. You did find him before last night, though, didn't you?" Once again he looked through the papers in front of him. "According to the doctors, his wound had been treated. Do you know how he came to be injured?"

"Not for sure. We weren't in the room with him when it happened, but we think he did that to himself. He had locked himself in his room for several days before the injury occurred, so there was no one else in the room." They had decided during the night to be truthful with whatever questions the government officials asked them. At first, they had considered hiding the fact that they believed Norway may have attempted suicide, but in the end, they felt it was best that his government know the truth. Or at least as much of the truth as could be told without revealing one specific piece of information.

"Hmm. We had suspected as much, based on what the doctors told us," the government official said. "We hoped we were wrong about that, though." Once again, he looked through the papers in front of him. He seemed to be putting off saying something. He asked a couple of questions, but the answers were not very enlightening. There was only so much that could be revealed without bringing up the revelation that had come out of Scandia's visit, and they suspected that Norway would not want his government to learn his secret. After finding out as much as possible about the situation, the government official made one final note on the papers, and then looked up at them. "We will handle the situation from here. We do not require the assistance of other countries."

"Haldor is part of our family. We can't just abandon him."

"You don't get any choice in the matter," the government official said. "We will deny you permission to visit him. After all, we need to make sure that he recovers, and being with all of you has not helped him to recover. So now, it is time to try a different method." He closed his folder, clearly considering the conversation to be at an end.

They could see that for the time being, there wasn't much point in arguing, but none of them had any intention of abandoning Norway. They had come too close to losing him to be willing to take that chance. At the same time, though, they all had their responsibilities, so could they really justify staying there when they might not even be able see Norway. For the rest of the day at least, they all stayed in or near the hospital, as they weren't quite ready to accept being sent away. However, no one spoke to them after they had finished answering all the questions.

There were times during the long day, when they wondered whether or not Norway was really all right. What if his condition was worse than they had believed it was when they brought him in? What if that was what they weren't being told?

* * *

**Author's notes:**

_The hospital issue_: Back in chapter two, I mentioned something about there being another reason why the rest of the family was reluctant to take Norway to a hospital. In chapter two, while they were in another country, it was because they would have to hide who he was. This time, they took him a hospital in his own country, which immediately led to the government being informed that he was there. Basically, because of how important the nation personifications are, if they are brought to a hospital anywhere in their own country, their government is automatically informed, just in case there is some unknown national emergency. The same thing might happen in another country as well, if they didn't hide their identity.

_When to expect the next chapter_: This chapter was the last completed chapter I had. I am about halfway through chapter five, but is been giving me a lot of trouble. I ended up having to scrap most of my first draft, and rewrite the chapter after I changed my mind about something. Since I am halfway through the chapter, I hope to have it finished and posted by a week from tomorrow at the latest. If it is going to be later than that, I will put a note on my profile.

_Research issues:_ I debated putting this as a warning, instead as an author's note, as it's something I'm worried will make people stop liking the story. I am trying to research as much as possible, but since I live in the US, it is difficult for me to find information about how things are done in other countries. So, starting in the next chapter, there might be some things that I will get wrong. I have been doing research, but I can only find information about how these things would be handled in the country I live in. And starting in the next chapter, there might be some medical issues that I will be making up, but those will probably be explained in the story, when the time is right.

I want to thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I don't think there were any questions that I specifically need to address this time, although one reviewer gave me some things to think about for later chapters.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note: **Hopefully, I'll be able to get this chapter posted on time, like I promised. This website has been having issues. And in another note, unlike in previous chapters, I had to give one of the humans that appears in this chapter a name. I got the name from a website called "Behind the Name."

Chapter Five

It wasn't until early evening that a doctor came to speak to them again. This doctor was not the same one they had spoken to the night before, but he led them to the same room where they had spoken to the other doctor.

"We managed to convince the government to let you see Haldor. They're not exactly happy about it, but the psychologists feel that the presence of his family might be good for Haldor. It will be very limited contact at first, but it will increase as he recovers."

"When can we see him?"

"As soon as we're done talking, here, someone will take you to his room. You won't be able to stay more than a few minutes, and only two of you can be in his room at one time." The doctor looked around at all of them in turn before speaking again. "Haldor's condition is very . . . fragile right now. You need to try to keep him from getting too excited. I can give you more details after you've seen him, as I'm sure you'll have some questions."

* * *

Denmark and Iceland were the first to enter Norway's room, as they were the closest to Norway. They had been warned that Norway wasn't in very good condition, but hadn't really been prepared for the sight of him.

Once again they were struck by how frail Norway looked. They had been prepared for how thin and pale he was, and the fact that he had been hooked up to an IV. They were not prepared for the heart monitor, or for the fact that his injured wrist was now immobilized with a splint. His eyes were closed, but they couldn't tell if he was actually sleeping.

For a few moments, neither of them went further into the room than the doorway, then they hesitantly approached the bed.

Norway opened his eyes shortly after the other two had approached the bed. "You're still here?" His voice was barely more than a whisper. "He said you left."

"We're not leaving until you're all better," Denmark said. Of course, considering his usual behavior, he wouldn't be leaving then, either. Denmark had never managed to gain the ability to know when Norway didn't want him around, and usually Norway might have pointed that out. The fact that he didn't was just more proof of how far from normal he was.

Iceland hadn't said anything, yet. He still didn't know whether he was going to be sent away, so it wasn't like he could promise not to leave. He also wondered who had told Norway that the rest of the family had left, when it wasn't true. It was possible that someone in Norway's government really objected to the time that the family spent together, and had used that tactic to try to distance Norway from them.

Norway had closed his eyes again, and they weren't sure whether or not he was still awake. During the days before they had brought him to the hospital, the length of that short conversation had occasionally be the longest he was able to stay awake.

Denmark and Iceland did not stay in Norway's room too much longer, as the doctor had said not to stay too long, and Sweden and Finland still needed their turn to see Norway.

Sweden and Finland did not stay in Norway's room for very long, and was it clear when they left that they were just as concerned about his condition as Denmark and Iceland had been. Now that the whole family had had a chance to visit Norway, they were taken back to what they were beginning to think of as the conference room, where the doctor was waiting for them.

"I assume you're wondering about the heart monitor and about why we put the splint on his wrist," the doctor said. "We wanted to make sure his wrist was immobilized, just as a precaution. He occasionally becomes agitated while asleep or immediately after waking up, and we did want to take the chance that he may worsen his condition if he tries to move it. There is some significant tendon damage. We'll also a little concerned about what else he might do, during those times he's agitated, so someone will be watching him closely all he night. He tried to remove the IV earlier before we stopped him."

"Is he going to be all right?" _Did we bring him in in time_? was the question that went unasked.

"Hopefully," the doctor answered. "But some of that will depend on him. He is very weak right now. And a couple times today he has had an abnormal heart rate. We're not sure if it's from blood loss or if it's a result of how underweight he is. I am concerned that he could be in serious danger if he loses anymore weight; he's right at the point where he might risk organ damage. And then there's the damage to his wrist. As soon as Haldor is stable enough, he will need an operation to repair the damaged tendon."

"How much of a concern is the abnormal heart rate?"

"We can't be sure yet," the doctor answered. "At this point, all we can do is monitor it. If it doesn't improve we may have to try something, but at the moment, we waiting to see if it resolves. We think it is a result of the weight he has lost, so we want to try to get him back up to a healthy weight. Obviously, that will take some time though, so if the problem with his heart worsens in the mean time, we may have to give him medication to correct the problem. And since it's probably going to be your next question, I don't know when he will have the operation to repair the damaged tendon in his wrist. It needs to be within the next few days, but we want to wait until he's a little stronger. Most likely, he will have the surgery the day after tomorrow."

* * *

It was midmorning when Norway was awoken by one of the doctors entering his room. He had fallen asleep shortly after his family had left his room, and had slept through the night, even though medical personal had been in and out of the room all night.

The doctor approached the bed. "How are you feeling this morning, Haldor?" he asked.

Norway did not answer the doctor's question.

"No more nightmares?" The doctor made another attempt to get an answer from him.

"No."

"Hmm. That's good at least. Do you feel up to eating some breakfast?"

Norway didn't reply to that. He hadn't had much of an appetite since Scandia's visit several months previously.

"If you won't eat regular food, we'll put in a feeding tube," the doctor said, seemingly noticing his hesitation. "You can't afford to lose any more weight, without risking more damage to yourself." He looked over at the heart monitor. "You heart rate is still too low," he said. "We're just lucky your family finally brought you in here, before you did any more damage to yourself. Now, are you going to eat breakfast, or do we need to force-feed you?"

"I'm not hungry." He wanted to avoid being force-fed, though, so after a few moments of silence, he added, "I'll try to eat something."

"Good. I'll have something brought in."

Norway was alone for a few moments after the doctor left. It was the first time he had been alone while he was awake since he had been injured. He knew what his family believed had happened, but he didn't know how to explain the truth to them. It was too much having them know what Scandia had done to him. If they learned anymore than that, he would never be able to face them again. Those first few days he had been glad to be back with his family, but ever since the meeting, he had begun to wish that they had never found him. They could do nothing to stop what would happen, after all. Somehow, Norway had to convince them to leave while there was still time.

He was lost in those thoughts, when a woman entered his room with a breakfast tray. She positioned the tray where he could reach the food with his good hand, and raised the bed into a sitting position.

Norway was relieved to see that they didn't expect him to eat anything too heavy. Breakfast consisted of a bowl of porridge. He was able to eat about half of the bowl, before pushing the remainder aside.

The woman, who had remained in the room while he ate, came over to take the tray. She gave him a slightly disapproving look, after seeing how much food was left in the bowl. "Do you want me to put the bed back down so you can rest some more?" she asked.

Norway shook his head. For the first time in several days, he felt free of the exhaustion that had plagued him. It was still there, but he felt like he could stay awake for a while longer. And, he wanted to postpone sleeping for as long as he could. He knew what would happen if he let himself sleep.

He hadn't been alone for more than half an hour when the woman came back. This time she brought a pitcher of water, an empty glass, and one of the little cups hospitals used to distribute medicine.

"If you won't eat, you at least need some nutrients," she said. She set the items down on the tray by his bed and filled the glass with water. "You need to take these, and try to at least drink the water." The medicine cup contained several vitamin supplements.

Norway forced himself to take the medication and drink most of the glass of water. It hadn't been easy, though, as he was afraid of getting sick if he swallowed anything. He knew how bad his condition must look to other, but he'd had reasons for doing it. Reasons that he could not explain, even to his family who already knew part of his secret.

She seemed satisfied this time, although she left the pitcher and glass by his bed. "Someone will be by soon to talk to you. And I think your family is planning to visit later this afternoon." Having said that, she left him alone, although he suspected he wouldn't be alone for long.

The day before there had been people in and out of his room, but he had been too out of it to pay much attention to them. He remembered speaking to a couple of doctors, as well as to some people from his government. He also remembered that his family had been there for a little while in the evening as well, but he hadn't been fully aware. He thought he might have said something about being surprised they were still there, though.

As he had suspected, he was not left alone for long. While he was still trying to remember what he might have said to his family the previous night, a woman entered his room. Norway thought that he might have seen this woman briefly the day before, but he wasn't sure. The woman pulled a chair up to the side of his bed, and sat down.

"I don't know if you remember, but my name is Rosemarie. I came to see you yesterday," she said. "You weren't up to talking, then, though. How are you feeling today, Haldor?"

Norway didn't reply to her. He suspected what she was most likely there for, and he really didn't want to have that conversation already. He had known when his family had brought him to the hospital a couple of days ago, that it would be only a matter of time before someone would make him talk to a psychiatrist.

"I know who you really are," she said. "So you don't need to worry about revealing that. And your government has already made it clear that I can't tell anyone about you. Your government is very worried about you, Haldor. You realize that, don't you?"

"They don't need to worry."

She gestured towards the splint immobilizing his left wrist, and the wrist was still bandaged under the splint, as well. "You attempted suicide. That seems to be a valid reason to worry. Add to that the fact that you're practically refusing to eat."

"I have a reason for that," Norway said, after a few moments of silence. "And I can't talk to you about it."

"Can't or won't?" Rosemarie asked. "Well, we don't need to talk about that. We can just talk."

"I'm not going to tell you what happened." He thought it was important to make that clear from the beginning.

"You don't need to tell me any more than you feel comfortable talking about," she said. "However, your government is concerned about you, and they want to be assured that you are not a danger to yourself. And I would imagine your family is worried about you as well. They stayed here all day yesterday, even though they had been told they wouldn't be allowed to see you."

"They don't need to worry about that."

It seemed to take her a moment to understand what he meant by that. "Why shouldn't they worry, after you were found in a locked room with a cut on your wrist? What other possible conclusion is there, except that you did that to yourself."

"I didn't." No one had actually asked him what had happened. So far, everyone had just assumed that he had attempted suicide. And he knew that he was what it looked like.

"You didn't hurt yourself? Then was this a cry for help?"

"No. It just happened. I can't explain how," Norway answered. Telling the truth wouldn't help in this situation. Humans would never believe him.

"Okay. Well, could you explain why you're refusing to eat?"

"I'm not refusing. I'm just not very hungry."

"And is there a reason for that?"

"I can't explain it to you."

"Is it a nation issue, Haldor? Is that why you can't explain it?"

There was silence for several moments, as Norway refused to answer. He wouldn't even look at Rosemarie.

After several moments, Rosemarie broke the silence to ask. "What happened six months ago?"

"Nothing . . ."

"According to the government's records, you asked for time off. Then, a couple of months later, your family contacted the government to ask where you were. Then two days ago they brought you here, in this condition, so something must have happened. Did your family have something to do with it? Did someone hurt you?"

Once again, Norway refused to answer, or to look at her. But just for a moment, something had shown on his face, before he managed to force his usual non-expression back into place. It had only been for a few seconds, but she still caught it.

"Haldor, did someone hurt you?" she asked again.

"Please, don't ask about it. I can't tell you."

"Was it a member of your family? Did one of them hurt you?"

"No."

"Haldor, we need to know what happened to you. You're too important to all of us. No one wants to take any chances with your safety. Will you please tell me who hurt you?"

"I can't tell you." He looked away again, and it was obvious that he was tired, and the weakness that had plagued him for the last few weeks was not gone.

"Alright, I'll leave so you can rest now. But you have to talk to someone, Haldor. It's the only way we can help you."

"I don't need help," Norway said. "I've dealt with this by myself for . . ." He stopped talking, realizing what he had almost said. First he had admitted that something was wrong. Second, he had almost admitted how long ago it had happened. Rosemarie may know that he wasn't human, but that didn't mean he needed to admit how long ago the incident had started.

Rosemarie had gotten up and began to leave the room, but she stopped by the door when Norway spoke. Turning back to face him, she asked, "Haldor, is it something from your past that is bothering you?"

After his accidental admission, Norway realized there was no point in concealing that. "Yes," he barely spoke above a whisper and it was clear that admission was reluctant.

"But you won't talk about it?"

"No."

Realizing that she would get no more out of him, Rosemarie turned and left the room. As she did so, she made a mental note to consult a historian before the next time she talked to Norway.

* * *

**Author's notes:** I know I made a mistake about the hospital visiting hours in the previous chapter. When this website is a little more reliable, I will try to post a corrected version of the chapter. Also, I'm not as satisfied with this chapter as I've been with previous chapters, but I've already rewritten the whole thing once.

I apologize if the scene with the psychologist ended up reading a bit more like a police interrogation. I partially based Rosemarie on my former best friend, who was a psychology major, and who I could imagine asking those kinds of questions. I've tried to block out any other experiences with psychiatrists, so that was the best I could do.

I'm still making up some medical stuff, here, although I am doing research to back some of it up. I do know that it is a little unusual that they would give him the vitamins, since the IV would contain nutrients. Basically, that was partially a test, because they're trying to figure out some of what's wrong with him. They wanted to see if he would take the pills.

And finally, a little note on updating. I try to post notes on my profile, giving some indication of when I will update this story. If I even can't update when I say I will, I'll also be posting chapters in the livejournal that is now listed as my homepage on my profile. So, if this website ever goes down, the chapters will be posted there, as well. I'm also looking into the possibility of finding a third place to post.

I'm not sure when the next chapter will be out, as I've been having a lot of issues with writer's block lately, and I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this story at the moment.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note:** Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter posted. I've had really bad writer's block lately, but it seems to finally be getting better. As far as warnings for this chapter go, all the ones from the previous chapters still apply, but are only mentioned for the most part. Oh, and the human characters that appear in this story and have been given names both have names that I got from a website called "Behind the Name." I got tired of referring to all humans by their job description. I'll put a note at the end of the chapter explaining why I chose the names I did.

Chapter Six

That evening when the rest of the Nordics got to see Norway, they were relieved to see that he seemed to be recovering a little. He wasn't as weak as he had been when they brought him in at least. In fact, although, he still seemed to be at less than full strength, he was the most alert he had been since his suicide attempt.

This time, they were all allowed to enter his room together, although the doctor had instructed them not to stay for too long. And unlike the night before, they had been prepared for his condition, which is why they were pleasantly surprised.

Norway was actually awake when they entered the room, and his bed had been raised into a sitting position. He was still hooked up to the heart monitor and the IV, but he no longer seemed quite as frail. He had been facing away from the door, but turned to look at them as they entered the room. "You really did stay."

"Did you think we wouldn't?"

"They'll make you leave eventually."

This time, the rest of the family was able to figure out that Norway was probably referring to his government. After all, the government had tried to get them to leave before.

"We're not leaving you, Nor," Denmark said.

"You never do anyway." It was the most normal thing Norway had said in a while. For a moment, the others took it as a good sign, until Norway spoke again. "You never noticed anything before. Why did you have to notice what Father was doing?"

"Would you rather we hadn't stopped him?"

"I would have preferred for none of you to have witnessed that. If you hadn't insisted on asking me all those questions, I wouldn't have been in the living room that morning. You never noticed before. Why did you have to notice when everyone would see? I never wanted Island to see that."

"Norge, if I had known you were being hurt back then, I would have gotten you away from him. But you never said anything was wrong."

"You were never around enough to see. And, back then, what he was doing wasn't wrong, so what could I have said?" After all, it wasn't like there had been laws against child abuse back when they were younger.

None of them really knew what to say in response to that. What Scandia had done was wrong by present day standards, but it hadn't been wrong back then. In fact, back then, Norway was more likely to be blamed for what happened than Scandia was.

"Nor, we would have done something if we'd known you were being hurt."

"No, you wouldn't. Not with all the things you did later." It wasn't for no reason that their union had been given the name it had, after all.

Until that point, none of the others had said anything. They were too relieved that Norway was finally talking about what had happened, and they didn't want to risk that he might stop. However, the change of subject made them prepared to intervene if necessary.

Of course, Denmark didn't know when to stop talking. "I did what was necessary to keep you alive."

"No, you did what was necessary to increase your own power. That was all you cared about. It was all either of you cared about."

"Nor . . ." Denmark reached out to touch Norway's shoulder.

"Don't touch me." Those words were not unusual, as Norway had told Denmark that so many times that neither of them could remember exactly how many times. Of course, Denmark had only listened about half of those times, at the most. But, that time, it wasn't the familiarity of the words that got to them; it was the fact that those were the same words that Norway had said, right before the secret had first come out. That night, there had been fear behind those words. This time, Norway had enough of his usual control back, that the rest of his family could not tell what lay behind them.

For a few moments, neither of them moved. Then, Denmark withdrew his hand, much to the relief of the rest of the family. Norway's condition was unstable enough without the risk of another panic attack.

An uncomfortable silence fell after that incident. It had been like this for months. Every time they would start to think they had a chance of getting through to Norway, something would make him push them away again. And every time that happened, the situation got worse. Considering the last time had led to Norway's suicide attempt, they did not want to risk that pattern repeating. But none of them seemed to be able to find the right thing to say. And the possible cost of saying the wrong thing was too high.

"We should leave, so you can rest," Finland said, once it became clear that Norway was apparently determined to ignore them.

"You can actually leave. You don't need to stay here. I don't need your help."

"We want to make sure you'll be alright." They had tried telling him that several times in the last few weeks. But all their attempts to get through to him failed. And somehow they got the impression that there was something they didn't know . . . that Norway was still hiding something from them.

And despite what they had said, they all knew that they could not stay with Norway indefinitely. Not just because of the fact that Norway's government was likely to send them away, but because they all had things they needed to take care of in their own countries. It may be easy for them to travel from one country to another, but that did not excuse spending so much time away from their own homes.

At the same time, none of them wanted to leave Norway until he was fully recovered. They had come too close to losing him. And they did not want to risk actually losing him.

* * *

The next day the doctors did decide that Norway was stable enough to have the surgery on his wrist. After all, the procedure was a minor one that could usually be done as an outpatient procedure. However, due to how unstable Norway's condition had been at first, they hadn't wanted to take any chances.

Even though Norway's condition was stable now, he still wasn't out of danger. His heart rate was still lower than it should be, and the doctors were concerned that the amount of weight Norway had lost may have damaged his heart. Then there was the issue of the weight loss. They needed to get his weight back up to healthy levels. But if Norway's heart had been damaged, there was a risk that it might not be strong enough.

And that wasn't even addressing the underlying psychological issues. Both the weight loss, and Norway's reluctance to eat were symptoms of anorexia. But the doctors were reluctant to actually make that diagnosis yet. The only diagnosis they had officially made was that Norway seemed to be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder.

All of these things had been discussed in a meeting between several of the people who were in charge of making sure that Norway was taken care of. After the doctor decided Norway was strong enough for the surgery, and made the arrangements for it, he asked Rosemarie, and the government representative to meet with him, do discuss what further arrangements needed to be made for Norway's treatment.

"You should talk to his family," Rosemarie said. "I can't think who else might have hurt him, but he did indicate that someone did."

Birger, the government worker who had been assigned to deal with the situation, asked, "Do you think he might be in danger from them?"

"Haldor denied that anyone from his family hurt him. But there was something not quite right about the way he did so. He also claimed that he didn't try to kill himself. But didn't his family say he was injured while locked in a room by himself?"

"He has several other cuts, besides that one on his wrist," the doctor said. "Could the one on his wrist just have been deeper than he intended?"

"I haven't had a chance to ask him about the other cuts, but he denied making the cut on his wrist. He claimed it just happened. That means that either he did it, and doesn't remember. Or he's lying, possibly to cover for the person who did hurt him."

"Do you think there's enough cause to commit him? Haldor needs to be somewhere he can be kept under close observation, until his weight is back up to a healthier level."

"And you can't do much about that, without finding out what's wrong with him," Rosemarie said. "Considering that he has denied hurting himself, and that there is no reason to believe he might be a threat to anyone else, we don't have enough cause to invoke Paragraph 5. But if you just keep him here in the hospital, you might be able to force him to start eating again, but there is no guarantee that he won't relapse as soon as he is allowed to leave. If nothing else, he needs to be in an environment where someone will be able to keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn't hurt himself again."

"I think in this case, an exception could be made. We can't afford to let anything more happen to Haldor. If that means we have to use drastic measures to protect him from himself or from his family, then we will do so. So that means we need to get him to tell us what happened."

* * *

Everything went okay with the surgery, although there hadn't been much need to worry anyway. Despite the worries expressed in the conference earlier, Norway seemed to be recovering. He had slept through two nights without nightmares. He was eating without having to be forced into it. And the extreme weakness he had suffered from had finally loosened its hold on him. He wasn't anywhere near back of full strength, but he was recovering.

That afternoon, Rosemarie had attempted to talk to him again, but Norway refused to answer her questions. He continued to insist that he had not hurt himself, but he would not say who had. After that unsuccessful attempt, Rosemarie made up her mind to try a different approach the next time she spoke to Norway.

Later that afternoon, the other Nordics came to see Norway, but they did not stay very long. They were relieved to see how well Norway seemed to be recovering, but worried that it would not last. After all, they had thought he was getting better before. That was the reason they had taken him to the meeting.

* * *

The next day, Rosemarie took Birger with her when she went to talk to Norway. They were determined to figure out what was going on before Norway's condition got any worse.

This time it was the government official who took the lead in the questioning. Rosemarie was there more as a precaution than for any other reason.

"Are you willing to tell us how you got hurt, yet?" Birger asked. "We're going to have to keep questioning you until we get an answer, Haldor. You're too important. We don't want to take any more chances with you."

For several minutes, Norway did not reply. He would not even look in their direction at first. When he at last turned to face them, his face wore its usual expression, or rather, lack of expression. The shadows around his eyes were less pronounced. It took him so long to reply that they began to think he wasn't going to answer. At last, he said, "I can't tell you. And even if I could, you wouldn't believe me."

"Haldor, if someone is hurting you, then you need to tell us. We can make sure you're protected, but in order to do that, we need to know what happened."

Norway turned away from them again, and did not reply.

Birger was determined not to let this go. To his point of view, his country was in some unknown danger. And yet, without finding out the culprit, there was nothing they could do. He had some suspicions about who might be responsible, but couldn't act on them without proof. "Why won't you tell us?"

"I can't," Norway replied, still not looking at them. "And you can't stop him, anyway. So please stop asking about it."

"We also can't stand by and watch you be hurt. If it is another one of your kind that is hurting you, we can at least take steps to limit your contact with them. Has someone from your family been hurting you?"

". . . No."

"Have they hurt you before?" He thought he knew enough history to know what the answer to that would be. That was part of his reason for asking that. He wanted to see whether or not Norway would give a truthful answer to that question.

Once again, a long time passed before Norway replied. But in the end, he gave the answer Birger had been expecting. "Yes. A long time ago." Which was basically true, unless they counted the issue of how the German soldiers had gotten into the country during World War II. The second World War could not yet be considered a long time ago, as there were people still alive who remembered it.

"Did your family have anything to do with why you disappeared last summer?"

Norway still would not look at them. Although he answered the questions he was asked, most of his attention seemed to be focused on something on the other side of the room. When Birger looked, he saw nothing there. Looking at Rosemarie, he saw that she had noticed that as well.

"Haldor?" Birger asked, once he decided it was taking too long for Norway to reply.

Norway looked towards them again, finally. "I really can't tell you what happened."

"We need to make sure that you're safe, Haldor. If necessary, we can forbid your family to see you. We will do whatever is necessary to keep you safe."

"They didn't hurt me."

Birger looked closely at Norway, trying to determine whether that statement was really the truth. However, he could get no indication one way or the other from Norway's expression. And if there was something hidden behind Norway's usual lack of expression, Birger did not know how to see it.

Not having discovering anything, Birger found his attention drawn to Norway's injured wrist. The injury was real, and noticeable, as the splint had been placed over the injury again after the surgery. That injury had to have occurred somehow, which meant that Norway had either done that himself or been hurt by one of the members of his family. However, Norway had denied both of those explanations. So what other explanation was left?

It seemed that the only explanation left was that Norway was lying to them. But, if that was the case, then what was the truth?

Norway had turned his attention back to whatever it was he saw on the other side of the room. Birger could tell that they wouldn't get any answers from Norway, but he was determined not to let the matter rest. After all, someone had hurt his country.

* * *

It wasn't that Norway didn't want to answer the questions everyone kept asking him. But he didn't think they'd believe him. After all, it wasn't like they even knew Scandia existed. And even if they did, he couldn't let his people know how weak he had been. It was bad enough that they knew as much as they did.

The worst part, though, was having his family know what Scandia had done to him. They never said it, but he knew they were always thinking about it. The revelation had changed the way they saw him.

He had especially never wanted Iceland to know the truth. After all, Iceland was barely willing to admit they were brothers, so Norway had known what would happen if the younger nation ever learned their true relationship. At first, he had allowed himself to hope everything would be okay, but he had not missed the way Iceland had avoided him since the incident in the hotel room. His child, and the only good thing to have come out of Scandia's abuse, couldn't stand to be in the same room as him.

Then, there was the fact that ever since his secret had been revealed, Norway had not been able to get rid of the sense that Denmark and Sweden were just waiting for the chance to take control of him again. It had taken him so long to get free of their rule, and now that they knew how weak he was, they had an excuse to try and take over again. There were times he did feel safer because of their presence, but so many other times, he felt like he was just waiting for the inevitable moment when they would take advantage of his weakness.

There had been times in the last couple weeks when he had wished he had never come back. At least when he had been alone in the cabin, he hadn't had to face people who knew the truth about him. And he wasn't even sure how many people knew the truth. He didn't know if his family had told anyone. And, he didn't know what anyone else who had been at the world meeting might be saying about the panic attack he'd had in the middle of the meeting. The situation was bad enough without letting the whole world see how weak he was.

And everyone kept trying to get him to talk about what had happened. And he couldn't. Writing about it in the letter had been difficult enough. Norway didn't think he was ready to talk to anyone about what Scandia had done to him. And he definitely couldn't talk to someone from his government about it. Sometimes, he considered talking to his family, but he always came back to the fact that he wasn't sure if he could trust them.

His mind kept going over that dilemma, until at last he drifted into an uneasy sleep. Even in sleep, he was not freed from the situation. Instead, his sleep was filled with dreams of something menacing lurking just outside the edge of his awareness.

When Norway awoke several hours later, he felt almost as if he hadn't slept at all. If anything, he was more tired than he had been before falling asleep, and the pain in his wrist was worse as well. And the uneasiness he had felt in the dream had not lessened. He still felt as if there was some presence just at the edge of his awareness.

It was only a short time after he woke up that his family arrived for their daily visit.

Like the last two times they had visited him, they all arrived together. As was becoming increasingly common, Iceland stayed back near the door. Also as usual, Denmark was the only one to come all the way over to the bed, regardless of whether or not Norway wanted him that close. Which at that moment, he didn't. As uneasy as he felt right now, Norway didn't want anyone that close.

"You look tired, Nor," Denmark said. "You're not getting sick again, are you?" He reached out and felt Norway's forehead, probably to check for a fever.

Norway tensed involuntarily at the touch. He really didn't want to be touched right now. "Don't touch me."

Denmark kept his hand on Norway's forehead. "I'm not going to hurt you, Nor."

Norway was unable to get away from the unwelcome touch. He was starting to feel trapped, due to the way Denmark was leaning over him. Even though Denmark was only touching his forehead, Norway still felt like he was being held down on the bed. He could feel hands on his shoulders, pressing him against the bed. And he knew what came after that.

He tried to tell himself that he was only imagining the hands holding him down. Only his forehead was being touched. But he could still feel the hands on his shoulders, and the weight pressing down on him. It was starting to get hard for him to breathe.

Norway began to struggle to escape, but the feeling would not lessen. He though he heard someone telling him to calm down, but the voice seemed to come from a long way off. He couldn't calm down; not as long as he still felt trapped the way he did at that moment.

Then there was someone brushing the hair off his forehead. That made him even more uncomfortable, and he increased his efforts to escape. After several moments of struggling against whatever was holding him down on the bed, he quickly turned his head to the side, trying to at least dislodge the hand on his forehead.

The last thing he was clearly aware of was a hand brushing against his curl.

* * *

**Names:** I had a lot of trouble chosen a name for the government worker, which is why he went unnamed for a few chapters. The reason I chose the name I did for him, is because according to the website I'm getting the names from, Birger means "to help, to save, to protect." I thought that fit the role he seems to think he has in this story. I didn't really have a good reason for choosing Rosemarie's name; it was just the name that I picked from the list.

**Misc. notes:** I hope to have the next chapter before too long, but I'm not going to make any promises. I will be clarifying some of what was happening at the end of this chapter at the beginning of the next chapter. And yes, I did end up going along with the theory that some people have about all the haircurls being erogenous zones. Also, in reference to something that was mentioned during the conference scene. I looked up Norway's mental health act (or whatever it was called), and at least skimmed the whole thing. I especially read the part about involuntary commitment, and in a novel I looked at, I saw that section referred to as Paragraph Five. So, hopefully that was the right term to use for it. But that's what they meant by Paragraph 5: involuntary committment, because the person is a danger to themselves or others.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

The rest of the family knew that the situation had just taken a turn for the worse again. Sweden and Finland had seen how uncomfortable Norway was, and they were about to intervene to get Denmark away from him. But they weren't close enough to do more than watch, as Norway started thrashing around on the bed, as though struggling against an invisible assailant.

At first, Denmark kept his hand on Norway's forehead. He seemed worried at Norway's reaction, but did not seem to realize that he was the cause. "Norge, calm down. You might hurt yourself." He moved his hand just enough to brush Norway's hair back off his forehead.

The touch on his hair seemed to increase Norway's discomfort. His struggles to get away intensified, and he was breathing heavily. Without warning, he turned his head to the side. Denmark had been unprepared for the movement, and although he finally moved his hand away, he managed to accidently brush his hand against Norway's haircurl in the process.

After that, there wasn't much hope of salvaging the situation. Norway shuddered, and then lay still on the bed. His face had lost what little color it had regained over the past few days, and his eyes were wide. Although he was looking in their direction, he did not seem to see any of them. And, while before he had seemed nervous or uncomfortable, now he seemed completely terrified. They couldn't remember ever having seen him look quite that scared before, even after the nightmares. At least those times he hadn't seemed quite so unaware of his surroundings.

"Norge!" Denmark was about to reach towards Norway again, but was stopped when Sweden basically pulled him away from Norway's bedside.

"Y've d'ne 'nough damage. Y' should've listen'd t' him."

What had happened may have been an accident, but was about the worst thing that could have happened. And it all could have been avoided if Denmark had actually paid attention to the fact that Norway didn't want to be touched.

For several moments there was silence in the room, broken only by the increasingly rapid tones of the heart monitor. None of them knew what to do, as this was obviously something more serious than the other panic attacks they had witnessed. They couldn't even tell if Norway was even aware that they were still in the room with him.

"Norja?" Finland approached the bed, but made sure to stay far enough away to not risk frightening Norway anymore than he already was. "Norja, you're safe now."

Norway gave no sign of having heard. He was breathing rapidly, now, and beads of sweat glistened on his forehead. He seemed to be looking towards where Denmark and Sweden were standing, but it was impossible to tell if he was actually seeing them. After a few moments, he closed his eyes, and let out a soft cry, almost a whimper.

"Norja?" Finland tried one more time to get a response from Norway.

Once again, there was no response, except silence, broken only by the increasingly erratic tones of the heart monitor.

"What's wrong with him?" Concern for his brother had made Iceland leave his spot by the door to join the rest of the family.

"I'm not sure." In some ways, whatever was happening to Norway did look a little like the panic attacks he'd had, but at the same time, it didn't quite seem to be one. During those attacks, Norway had at least been aware of them, and able to reply when they talked to him. "It might be a flashback. Whatever it is, though, we need to try to get him to calm down."

Iceland took a couple of steps closer to the bed. "Noregur?" He didn't really have much hope of getting a response from his brother, though.

However, this time there was a response. Norway opened his eyes, and looked at Iceland. He showed no sign of recognition, though, and he still seemed terrified. Then, he looked towards the others again, seeming to see them this time. Instead of relaxing though, he seemed to get even more afraid.

"Islanti, keep talking to him. You seem to be the only one he'll respond to."

"But I don't know what to say."

"Just tell him he's safe and that no one will hurt him." Finland turned his attention from Norway to look at Denmark and Sweden. He had noticed that it seemed to be one of them that Norway was frightened of, but he couldn't tell which one. Denmark was the one that had triggered this attack, but Sweden was the one that looked the most like Scandia, and Norway had reacted to that before. "Go see if you can find a doctor. We'll keep trying to bring Norja out of this."

There was a good chance that a doctor might be alerted anyway, depended on how closely Norway was being monitored, (and considering who he was, he was probably being monitored as closely as possible). But just in case, finding one was probably necessary. There was a chance that they might not be able to get Norway to come out of this episode, and there was also a risk that he may have hurt himself during his earlier panic.

Iceland moved a little closer to the bed, trying to get Norway's attention focused on him again. "Noregur, you're safe here. We won't hurt you. No one here will hurt you." He kept repeating those assurances.

At first, Norway did not show any signs of relaxing. Although he did look at Iceland, and seemed to actually be aware of him, he still displayed no sign of recognition. Gradually, though, he began to relax, as the assurance that he was safe finally began to penetrate that terror that he had become lost in. After several moments had passed, he closed his eyes, and his breathing began to even out. Then, after another few moments, Norway opened his eyes again, and looked at Iceland. "Island? When did you come over here?" The fear that had previously been in his expression was gone, leaving a deep exhaustion in its place. "I thought you were over by the door."

It seemed as though Norway did not even remember the past few minutes.

Before they had a chance to find out what Norway remembered, if in fact he remembered any of that episode or the events leading up to it, a doctor entered the room. The doctor went over to the bed, and checked the readout from the heart monitor, before turning to Finland and Iceland, who were still standing near the bed. "You need to leave, so I can make sure Haldor is all right. If you wait in the room where we spoke before, I'll come find you there. I told the others to wait there as well."

Neither of them really wanted to leave Norway until they were sure he would be all right, but they weren't being given much choice in the matter.

As he left the room, Iceland looked back one last time at his brother. Their eyes met briefly, before they both looked away at the same time.

* * *

When Finland and Iceland reached the other room, they found that Denmark and Sweden were already there, on opposite sides of the room and pointedly ignoring each other. They both turned at the same time when the others entered.

"How's Norge?" Denmark asked.

"I think he'll be all right," Finland answered. "The doctor wanted to examine him, but he had calmed down before that."

"Why isn't he getting better? It's been almost a month since you found him. He should be back to normal."

"After what happened to him, he won't just get better overnight. But you need to learn to respect his boundaries. If he says not to touch him, then listen to him. I'm not sure exactly what that episode was, but it could have been avoided if you had let go of him when he told you to, and especially if you could have avoided touching his curl."

"That was an accident!"

"'nd it couldn't veen avoided 'f y'd listened t' h'm. H' told y' h' didn't want t' be touched," Sweden said.

"I didn't know he'd get so frightened. I was just trying to make sure he was all right," Denmark said, trying to defend his actions, but it was a little difficult to defend something that had ended the way that had. Accidental sexual assault wasn't exactly excusable, or believable for that matter.

"H' probably would b', 'f y' hadn't done th't. Norge's never going t' be able t' g't better w'th y' around. Y' never p'y attention t' what h' wants 'r doesn't want."

"Well, at least I don't look like the one who abused him!"

"Y' really don't realize, d' y'? Y' did abuse h'm. M'ybe n't th' same way our father d'd. Y' tried t' t'ke away h's identity, 'nd make h'm 'nto nothing m're th'n y'r province. You're lucky h' survived th't. Y' could h've killed him, 'f some of h's people hadn't managed to keep th'r national identity. Why d' y' think I tried t' take him away from y' all th't time?"

"Because you wanted another addition to your empire! And in the end, you took him because you wanted a replacement for your wife."

By this point, the two of them had both left their spots on opposite sides of the room, and it was only because of where they were that a fight did not actually break out. The argument seemed likely to go on for some time. Or would have, if it had not been interrupted.

After that last comment, Finland went over to where the two Scandinavians were standing. "I'm not his wife, and both of you need to stop this. Blaming each other for all those things isn't doing anything to help Norja. And that's what we need to focus on now." Those sentences had been addressed to both of them, but now he addressed Denmark. "Tanska, you did cause this. Norja told you not to touch him and you still did. At least until he recovers a little, you need to be careful about actually respecting his boundaries. If he isn't comfortable with something, then stop." Then he turned to look up at Sweden. "We need to talk later, Ruotsi." The name that he used showed that he was annoyed with Sweden, for some reason, although whatever it was, he did not say in front of all the others.

It wasn't too much later that the doctor entered the room, accompanied by Birger. "Haldor is resting now," the doctor told them. "I gave him a mild sedative, because he was still a little agitated. Hopefully, he will sleep through the night now. That attack used up a lot of the strength he had managed to regain in the last few days. But it could have been worse. At least he didn't hurt himself."

"We were very lucky it wasn't worse," Birger said. "I think, though, that after this incident, you shouldn't be allowed to see him anymore. I'm not convinced that you aren't the ones responsible for his condition, but since he won't answer our questions, I'm going to give you a chance to exonerate yourselves. Who hurt him?"

"That is his information to share if he chooses. He might not be comfortable having his people know about it."

Birger studied them in silence for a few moments, then said, "Then I have no choice but to forbid you to see him until he is stronger. I will make sure he is told that you have business you need to attend to in your own homes. Once he has recovered, you will be allowed to see him again, if only because we don't want to cause any kind of international incident. But if we feel it necessary, we will limit his contact with you. Now, I think it would be best if you all returned to your own homes first thing tomorrow." In other words, they were being ordered to leave the country.

* * *

It wasn't until later that evening that Sweden and Finland had the talk that Finland had indicated they would be having. The whole family had gone back to Norway's house, where they were all still staying. Denmark had left almost immediately, presumably to go out drinking. Shortly after, Iceland had gone upstairs, saying that he wanted to look for something. Sweden and Finland were left alone together in the living room.

"I wish you and Tanska wouldn't argue like that all the time," Finland said. He wasn't quite as annoyed with them as he had been earlier though. After all, the whole family was used to the fact that Denmark and Sweden could rarely be in the same room without arguing.

"H' j'st never changes. H' doesn't th'nk 'bout what h's actions w'll do t' anyone else."

"So what exactly do you expect to change by arguing with him about everything? He was wrong earlier, to not listen to Norja. But arguing about things that happened over a hundred years ago doesn't really do anything to fix that problem."

"H' doesn't kn'w it w's wrong, though. Norge could've b'n hurt, 'nd Danmark th'nks h' was helping h'm."

"We're just lucky Norja wasn't hurt," Finland said. "I'm sorry I got annoyed with you earlier. It's just that this mess is tearing our family apart, and now it feels like we're about to abandon Norja again."

"W' didn't abandon h'm before. 'Nd we're not abandoning h'm n'w. H's people w'll see th't he's taken c're of."

"He thinks we abandoned him. And he thinks that you and Tanska only saw him as something to control. And the fact that you kept involving him in your fights just seems to prove that point. I know what you were trying to do, and whatever else the rest of the family believes, I know why you did it. But, you really need to talk to Norja about this when we're allowed to see each him again. He needs to know that you took him because you wanted him to be safe."

"I wasn't try'ng t' replace y'," Sweden said, putting a hand on Finland's shoulder. He suspected that Denmark making that accusation was probably what had made Finland intervene to stop the fight. And, this was something that they'd never really talked about. They had talked about some of the things that had happened during the years they were apart once, when they had decided to resume their relationship on an unofficial basis. After that, there hadn't seemed to be much need to discuss much of it again.

"I know that. But Norja doesn't. And the timing does really give that impression."

"I'll t'lk t' him." He knew though, that it might be a long time before any of them got the chance to talk to Norway, and even longer before Norway might actually be willing to listen to any of them.

After that their conversation turned to other topics, as well as to other things they needed to take care of. They needed to call England and let him know and they would be by to pick up Sealand the next day, and they needed to let the pet-sitter know that they would be home sometime the next day.

* * *

When Norway woke up the next morning, he had only dim memories of the night before. He remembered his family being there, and Denmark refusing to leave him alone. Then, Iceland had been by the bed, talking to him, and Denmark and Sweden hadn't even been in the room. Between those memories, there was nothing.

And, he felt completely exhausted again, lacking the energy to even try sitting up.

He had almost fallen asleep again, when the doctor entered the room. "How are you feeling this morning, Haldor?" the doctor asked, approaching the bed. "We were all pretty worried about you last night."

Norway tried to force his eyes to stay open, and to focus on the doctor. Everything seemed muted somehow, as though there were a veil between him and the rest of the world. Although he frequently gave the impression of not feeling anything, now he really didn't. The only thing he felt was the exhaustion that threatened to drag him back down into sleep. "I'm alright," he answered, after he had managed to muster the energy to speak.

The doctor didn't quite seem to believe that statement. He seemed to be debating whether or not to say something. At least, he said, "Your family came by earlier this morning. They were hoping to see you, but we couldn't let them in before visiting hours. They wanted to let you know that they've had to return to their own homes, and they're not sure when they'll be able to get away again. There wasn't time for them to wait until they could see you, but they wanted to be sure you got the message."

Something made Norway suspect that doctor was lying to him about at least part of that. He guessed that something must have happened during the time he couldn't remember to make his family leave. But he didn't feel anything. There was no relief that they would no longer be watching for signs of weakness. He didn't even feel anything about the fact that they hadn't even waited to say goodbye to him in person. He knew that he should feel something, but he just didn't have the energy.

The doctor was watching him intently, and after a few moments spoke again. "One of them left something for you. I said I would make sure you got it once you were awake. I will make sure it gets brought to you later." He paused, trying to decide whether or not to say anything else. "But don't tell anyone that your family brought it in." As cryptic as that last sentence was, it went unexplained.

Norway didn't bother to respond to that.

After realizing that Norway wasn't going to say anything, the doctor said, "Now that you'll awake, I'll make sure someone brings in your breakfast. And then, I'll be back later to check on you."

The rest of that morning went much the way the last few mornings had done. Norway forced himself to eat at least some of the breakfast he was given, if only to avoid the doctor's threat to resort to using a feeding tube. Then, he took the medication he was given, once again having to force himself.

Then, a little while after that, the doctor returned, carrying a bag. "This is the thing I mentioned earlier, that your family thought you might want. We decided there was no harm in letting you have it." The doctor set the bag on the edge of the bed, and then left the room.

After a few moments, Norway found the energy to open the bag, and found that it contained the stuffed bunny he had for several years. As far as he knew, no one outside his family knew that he had it, so he did not doubt that one of them had in fact brought it. Taking the stuffed animal out of the bag, he hugged it against his chest with his uninjured arm, and let the exhaustion he felt pull him down into sleep at last.

* * *

Later, when Birger came to check on Norway, he found him sleeping soundly, still clutching the bunny against his chest. Although somewhat curious about where the stuffed toy had come from, Birger was relieved enough that Norway seemed to be getting the rest he needed that he decided not to question it. Leaving Norway to his much needed rest, Birger went to consult with the doctor.

"He does seem to be doing all right," the doctor said, after having summarized some details about Norway's condition. "But I am a little worried that he did not show any kind of reaction when I told him his family had left."

"That's actual normal for Haldor," Birger said. "I think very few people have ever seen him display any emotion. This may mean we made the right decision to not let his family see him, and that he may finally be able to recover now."

"I'm still not convinced it's the right decision to have separated him from his family. They seem to have been genuinely worried about him."

"You should know enough history to know that we can't afford to take the risk that they might just be waiting to take advantage of his weakness. And that's assuming they're not responsible for him being in this condition in the first place. I am going to recommend that all of Haldor's interaction with others of his kind be severely limited until he is stronger, but I cannot say if the rest of the government will go along with that. But in this case, we need to focus on what is best for Haldor."

The doctor consulted the chart that he was holding. "I would like to keep Haldor here for a couple more days, to make sure that no more complications develop. After that, I think he can probably be discharged, if someone can watch him. He will need regular check-ups, though, especially until his weight is back up to a healthy level. And, he will need physical therapy for his wrist."

Birger made notes of what some of the doctor said. "I will make sure that Haldor gets whatever care he needs. I have been assigned to make sure of that. After all, none of us can afford to lose him."

"No, we can't," the doctor said. "But not just because of what he is. After all, in addition that, he is also a person, and he has a family that seems to care a lot about him. Those things are just as important as the fact that he is the personification of our country."

* * *

**Author's notes:** Just a little response to my reviewer from last chapter who commented on the fact that I posted that chapter right after Norway's birthday. Considering that I wrote that last part of the chapter and the first part of this chapter on his birthday, I really feel like I should apologize for that.

There are some things in this chapter that are references to certain historical events, or at least my headcanon about those events. I'm going to try to explain as many of those as I can remembering referencing.

The reason that Iceland was the only one that Norway responded in the first scene wasn't because of any recognition, it was because of the name Iceland was calling him by. As far as I have been able to tell (from having looked on Wikipedia), the oldest form of Norway's name, and therefore the name he would have had as a child, is Noregr, which is similar to the Icelandic form of his name.

The accusation that Sweden made about how Denmark treated Norway is based on what I read in a history book and a travel book. The history book, which was from a series called "Modern Nations of the World" said something about how "Danish kings whittled away at the few remaining elements of Norwegian identity," eventually leading to a proclamation that Norway was no longer a nation, but simply a Danish province. The travel book also referred to some of this, and mentioned that it was only the peasants that kept Norway's national culture alive. Based on that information, I concluded that there was some element of abuse in that union, although Denmark doesn't see it that way. I might get more into this later, but, from his point of view, everything that he did was to protect Norway. (Oh and the part of this paragraph that's in quotation marks is an exact quote from the book. I couldn't think of a good way to paraphrase it.)

Finland's comment about feeling like they were about to abandon Norway again was a reference to when Sweden and Finland ran away together. Because it was after they left that the things I reference in the previous paragraph happened.

Also, to clarify some stuff about how I see Sweden and Finland's relationship. They are a couple, and they live together. However, their relationship is unofficial, because their governments don't know that they're in a relationship.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's note: **See previous chapters for warnings.

Chapter Eight

After being forced to leave, the rest of the family had all gone their separate ways, to their own homes. There was only a little over a week until February's world meeting, and they did all have business in their own countries that they needed to take care of before the meeting.

None of them were really surprised that Norway wasn't at February's meeting. After all, it had only been a little while since they had last seen him, and they doubted he could have recovered enough in that short amount of time to be able to attend the meeting. Unlike at all of the meetings in the fall, this time the other nations did not question Norway's absence. There were a few enquiries as to his condition, and few rumors had been circulating as a result of the incident at January's meeting. The other Nordics shared what information they felt was appropriate about Norway's condition, and made an attempt to dispel some of the rumors.

After the meeting, they began to make some attempts to at least contact Norway, to make sure that he really was still all right, and that he knew they hadn't abandoned him. However, when they tried to call him they learned that his number had been disconnected, and any notes they sent to him went unanswered. As much as they tried to convince themselves that Norway would be all right, that his people would see that he was taken care of, they were still worried by their inability to reach him, as it brought back bad memories of the previous autumn, when they had not even known where he was. Their first instinct had been to suspect that the communications might be being intercepted by Birger, but as the month of February passed, they occasionally began to wonder if maybe Norway just didn't want to be in contact with them anymore. Maybe the incident the last time they had seen him had caused a rift in the family that would never mend.

There were other signs that a permanent rift may have been created, besides their inability to contact Norway. With the exception of the world meeting at the beginning of the month, the family did not see each other at all during the month of February, and usually they tried to get together at least once a month. And when they had been together at the meeting, the argument had lingered unspoken of between them.

* * *

When the time came for March's world meeting, none of them had much confidence that the situation would change. They had all arrived in the meeting room in three separate groups, with Sweden and Finland being the only members of the family to arrive together. The tables in the meeting room were always arranged the same, regardless of whose turn it was to host the meeting, and they went to their usual table, with no words exchanged between any of them. Elsewhere in the room, nations were greeting each other, and there was a constant background noise of various conversations that would last until the meeting started.

It was only a few minutes before the time the meeting was due to start when Norway arrived. He looked a lot better than he had in January, although considering the condition he had been in the last time his family saw him, that really wasn't saying much. He was still thinner than usual, but nowhere near as much as he been the last time they saw him. He still wore a splint on his injured wrist, but it was smaller than the one that he had worn right after the surgery.

When Norway entered the room, the noise of conversation quieted for a moment, and several of the nations present watched him enter. Apparently, the gossip about what was going on with him had not died down, despite his family's attempts to put an end to it.

Norway did not visibly react to being watched by so many others, though. His expression was as non-existent as usual, although in some ways he seemed even a little more distant than was normal for him. He didn't seem to care that he was the subject of curiosity, though, as he made his way to his usual seat at the table with the rest of his family.

There was no time for any of them to talk to him before the meeting started, though. It didn't take long for the meeting to dissolved into the usual complete chaos, and by the time they stopped for lunch, nothing had been accomplished besides an argument about America's latest "heroic" idea. But then, no one ever expected the meetings to accomplish much. They were primarily held to give the nations a chance to see each other and to "foster global communication". Occasionally, if there was a real problem, it might be dealt with at a meeting, but any actual accomplishments from a world meeting were rare, especially since there were only a few things the nations could really do themselves without having to check with their bosses.

As the meeting broke for lunch, everyone got up from their spots and began leaving the room, singly or in small groups.

"Are you coming to lunch with us, Norja?" Finland asked. The whole family usually went out to lunch together during the world meetings, regardless of whether or not they were actually getting along at the time.

"Not this time," Norway answered. "I have some things I need to take care of." He stood up and began gathering the papers that were on the table in front of him.

Denmark came up behind Norway and wrapped his arms around the smaller man. "Come on, Nor, you have to come with us!"

"Let go of me," Norway said. "I already said I had other things to do." His voice was back to the usual monotone, and he showed no sign of any emotion.

Denmark, apparently not having learned anything from the incident at the hospital, did not let go of Norway. "You can do whatever it is later. We haven't seen you since January."

"I already said no. Now let go of me." He did not seem uncomfortable the way he had before; but he did not seem to show any sign of annoyance, like he usually would have.

The rest of the family, at least, had learned from the incident at the hospital.

"Don't force him," Finland said. "We'll see you this afternoon, Norja."

Norway managed to free himself, and quickly left before he could be restrained again. The rest of the family left through another door, except for Iceland, who followed Norway.

"_Bróðir_!" Iceland called once he caught up to Norway.

Norway glanced back at him briefly, but did not stop walking. He seemed to be in a hurry to get out of the building.

Iceland looked to make sure they were alone in the hall before resorting to more drastic measures. "_Móðir_!"1 It was the first time he had said that out loud, and he wasn't sure he quite ready to admit it generally. But he was determined to try to talk to Norway, and hoped that admission might get him to stop.

It seemed to work, as Norway stopped and turned back to face Iceland. "Don't say that where anyone might hear you," was all he said. It was one thing having the family know, it was another to risk any others finding out.

"It got you to stop," Iceland said. He looked at the splint on Norway's wrist. "You're still hurt."

"Don't worry about it. It's almost healed." For a couple of moments, neither of them said anything. As much as they both wanted to talk, neither could seem to find the words. At last, Norway said, "Island, I really don't have time to talk right now. I have to meet someone during lunch. And the others are probably waiting for you."

"Are you angry at us for leaving?" Iceland asked. It had been impossible to miss the fact that Norway seemed to not want to be around the rest of the family anymore. And, of course, he couldn't ask the question that was really bothering him. He couldn't ask if Norway blamed him for everything that had happened, for being a reminder of what Scandia had done.

"No," Norway answered, after a few moments of silence. "Not for that." He turned away, towards the exit. "I really can't talk right now, Island. I'll see this afternoon, though." With that, he walked away.

Iceland waited a few moments, and then followed. He got outside in time to see Norway leave with an unfamiliar human.

* * *

The afternoon's meeting was just as chaotic and unproductive as the morning's had been. When the meeting ended for the day, Norway managed to leave the meeting room before his family could try to stop him again. They noticed that he seemed to be trying to avoid them, but they weren't sure what to make of it.

Something about Norway's behavior at the meeting made them extra worried about him again. He had seemed to be acting completely normal, but there had been something off about him. None of them were quite sure what it was; they just knew that something wasn't right.

And so, for several days after the meeting, they again made several attempts to contact Norway, but never received any signs that their messages were getting through. They had gone by his house (the one in the dimension only accessible to their kind) a few times, but there was no sign that he had been there recently. Remembering the previous fall, they also checked the cabin, but had no luck there either.

When a week had passed, they were forced to give up the search and return to their homes. They had business in their countries that they needed to take care of, and with so many things unresolved, they could not stand to all be together any longer than they needed. As difficult as it was to not know what was going on with Norway, they reminded themselves that he knew how to contact them, if he wanted to. There wasn't much else they could do at this point besides wait for him to be ready to contact them. (And hope that such a time actually came, but no one wanted to admit they were worried about that.)

* * *

**Translations:**

___Bróðir - _Brother (Icelandic)

_Móðir - _Mother (Icelandic)

**Author's Note**: I'm sorry this chapter is a little shorter than usual. It's mainly just to show that some time passed, although there are also some hints of what's going on. I actually have three scenes written that were supposed to be the rest of this chapter, but they didn't seem to go with this part. So, I decided to save those scenes for the next chapter. With any luck, the next chapter should be out sometime next week (since it is half written.)


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

"You realize that technically, we don't have to even let you go to the meetings. I think everyone knows nothing gets accomplished at them."

Norway looked out the window, pretending that he hadn't heard what Birger had said. It was pretty easy to tune it out when he had been hearing pretty much the same thing since leaving the hospital. He didn't really think Birger would carry through on the threat to not let him attend the World Meetings anymore. But, he couldn't be sure. After all, in order to attend March's world meeting, he'd had to agree to stay with someone from his embassy, and to spend the lunch break with that person.

Norway had been staying with Birger since being discharged from the hospital. And from the beginning, Birger had been overcautious about his safety. He was not allowed to leave the house alone. The only time he was allowed to be alone at all was at night, and then he was not allowed to leave the bedroom he had been given until morning. In mid-February, when he had gone back to work, he had been allowed to be alone in his office, but he was checked on frequently.

"Are you even listening to me, Haldor?" Birger asked.

"I need to attend the World Meetings," was the only reply he gave. Well, it proved he had listened at least.

"You were spending too much time with them," Birger said. "And, until you tell me which one of them hurt you, I can't allow you to be around them."

Norway was still pretending not to hear Birger. He kept his attention focused on the window, pretending to be absorbed by something happening outside. He was getting tired of repeatedly being told that same thing. And, as much as he hated to admit it, even to himself, there were times when he missed his family. He had kind of wanted them to leave at one point, and had made some attempts to drive them away. And those must have worked, because they had left. They had left without saying goodbye, and then hadn't even tried to contact him for over a month. And then, at the meeting, they had acted like everything was normal.

Birger was still apparently not aware that he was basically being tuned out. "This is for your own good, Haldor. The condition that your 'family' allowed you to end up in - even if they didn't cause it . . . Well, you must see that we can't take the risk of that happening again. You're too important to us, and we won't take any chances with your safety.

There were a few things Norway might have liked to say to that, but he found he didn't really have the energy to care anymore. As much as he disliked the over-protectiveness that his government was displaying, there was nothing he could do about it, anyway. That was one of the downsides to the nation's lives. Their governments had the right to control who they could have contact with, as well as various other aspects of their lives. And so, Norway was to stay with Birger until it was determined that he was no longer a danger to himself, and he was only allowed to go to the meetings if someone could watch him at all times the meeting wasn't actually in session.

* * *

_Once again, Norway found himself in complete darkness with the sense that something was out there in that darkness. He had been here so many times now that he knew from painful experience that it was only a matter of time until Scandia would appear. But, still he hoped that just this once it would not happen that way._

_ He had almost let himself relax, and think that maybe it would be alright this time, when he heard footsteps, and then felt a hand on his shoulder. He knew that Scandia had come, just as he always did._

_ "So, your brothers finally got tired of dealing with you," Scandia said. "It is only a matter of time before your people come to the same conclusion. In the end, you will have no one, except for me. Of course, you could always just come with me now."_

_ "No." It may not have been stated outright, but Norway knew what Scandia was really suggesting. Just because the ancient powers still had some connection to the world, the place where all of them were the rest of the time was basically the equivalent of death for their kind._

_ "They think it's what you want," Scandia pointed out. "They all think you tried to kill yourself." He reached out and caressed his son's cheek. "You should just give in. And then they would not be able to separate us."_

_ "I'll tell them the truth," Norway said. His previous attempts to do so had been ignored, but he did not see another way to end this. Doing what Scandia wanted him to was not an option._

_ "They will never believe it. They'll just have more reason to think you're crazy." Scandia stepped back, and for a few moments was silent._

_ The darkness was beginning to lift, but there was still nothing to actually be seen, nothing that could indicate where they were. It was just the two of them, in a large, empty, non-descript area. After the few moments of silence, Scandia reached down and grabbed Norway's left arm, pulling him to his feet. Then, he slowly ran his hand down Norway's arm, until he was holding his injured wrist._

_ "Do you honestly think they will believe you, after this?" Scandia asked, brushing his thumb across the scar left by the cut. "In the end, you will have no choice left." His grip tightened, becoming painful. "After all, I cannot risk letting you tell anyone. If only you hadn't been such a little freak . . . Then there never would have been any risk of anyone finding out."_

_ Norway tried to break free of Scandia's grip, but he had no sooner begun to struggle, then he found himself unable to move at all. He could not even speak._

_ "You are powerless against me here," Scandia said. "You should realize that by now. There is no use resisting." Scandia did not release his grip, instead, if anything, it became even tighter, and with his other hand, he gripped Norway's shoulder. "I think you need a reminder of my power here." Scandia's grip grew tighter and tighter, as the darkness began to return._

Norway opened his eyes to find that he was still unable to move. Just like before it was almost completely dark, but this time he was lying on a bed, and he could still feel something pressing him down against the mattress. But he could not see anyone there. He tried to open his mouth to call for help, but he could not move even that much. The force pressing him down grew stronger and stronger, until he felt like he couldn't breathe.

It seemed like hours passed, as he lay there, unable to move. Then, suddenly, movement began to return. He lay there, gasping for breath, and afraid that paralysis might return. After several moments, he gathered enough energy to reach over and turned on the lamp beside the bed.

Light flooded the room, and once his eyes adjusted, he was able to see that he was alone. He was in his bed in the guest room of Birger's apartment . . . the same room that he had been staying in since leaving the hospital. There were very few personal things in the room, as he had not had been allowed to go to his own house to get anything. His stuffed bunny lay on the floor beside the bed, having been knocked off the bed at some point during the nightmare. There were a few books piled on the floor beside the room's only chair, which had been placed near the window.

He rolled over and reached down to pick up the bunny from where it had fallen, before laying back down with it clutched to his chest. He still felt uneasy, even though he kept telling himself it was just a dream. Scandia hadn't really been there, and there was clearly no one else in the room right now. And this nightmare hadn't even been as bad as some. At least this time, all Scandia had wanted to do was talk. But still, he did not turn the light back off.

After so long, he had enough experience with these dreams to know that he would probably not be able to go back to sleep, so once he felt a little less frightened, he decided to just get up. Getting out of bed, he went to sit in the chair, and focused on trying to force back the fear and get back to his previous state of feeling nothing.

* * *

By the term Birger came to check on him in the morning, Norway had been awake for several hours. He was still sitting in the chair by the window, although at some point he had changed out of his nightclothes. He had an open book in front of him, but did not appear to be looking at it, and everything in the room that could be used a source of light had been turned on.

"You're up early," Birger said. "Did you sleep at all?"

"Yes," Norway answered. "I just woke up early."

"Just make sure that you tell someone if you have trouble sleeping, Haldor. You might need to start taking the pills again, or have the dosage adjusted."

"I said that I just woke up too early. I don't need to start taking those again." Norway had been given a prescription for sleeping pills before being released from the hospital, but he stopped taking them as soon as he was allowed. The pills kept him from being able to wake up when Scandia came.

"Just remember what the doctors said, Haldor. You need to make sure that you rest and eat enough. You're still underweight. We're just lucky that your family brought you to the hospital when they did. If they had waited much longer, we could have lost you."

Norway did not give any sign that he was listening to Birger. Instead, he looked down at his book. Birger was saying something about how irresponsible the rest of the Nordics had been to delay getting him professional help, when Norway interrupted, "I want to see them."

"Them? Oh, your family. Haldor, you should know we can't allow that. We can't risk anything happening to you, and some of us aren't convinced that they didn't hurt you. They could have had some kind of ulterior motive, like trying to weaken you to force you into a union. And anyway, if they really cared about you, they would have contacted you, instead of just abandoning you at the hospital."

Norway didn't really have a response to that. He couldn't deny that his family seemed to have abandoned him at the hospital, and that they hadn't contacted him afterwards. And yet, at the world meeting, they had acted as if everything was normal. Norway wanted to believe that his family did care about him, and they didn't have an ulterior motive, but at the same time, he couldn't deny what it looked like.

Birger took Norway's silence as assent. "You know I'm right, Haldor. Now, come on; it's time for breakfast, and we'll both get in trouble if you skip any meals."

* * *

It wasn't until he was at work later that Norway was allowed to be alone again. That was the only place he was allowed to be alone, because Birger had decided it would be difficult for any harm to come to him in the government building.

Norway had only been back at work for a few weeks, and some of that time had been taken up by the meeting. He was still trying to get through seven months worth of paperwork.

That day, he was only at work for the morning, as he had some doctors appointments that afternoon. He was hoping to convince Birger to let him go to the appointments alone, but he knew that chances of that were slim.

Norway was finally starting to make a dent in the paperwork, but that particular day he was finding it hard to concentrate. Ever since he had woken up from that nightmare, cracks had started appearing in the wall that had kept all of his emotions at bay. Outwardly, he gave no sign of this, but inwardly, he could not stop thinking about the way his family had apparently abandoned him. In his mind, Norway kept hearing the words Scandia had said in the dream. _So your brothers finally got tired of dealing with you_.

Was what Scandia had said true? Had his family really gotten tired of dealing with him? But if that was the case, why had they acted like everything was normal at the meeting. Surely if they had intended to abandon him, they wouldn't have insisted that he have lunch with them. But what if they had only been insisting so the other countries wouldn't suspect what was going on? After all, none of them seemed to have been speaking to each other much, either. So, why were they still going out to lunch like usual?

Norway suspected that something major must have happened during those few minutes he couldn't remember back in the hospital, but he still had no idea what. And he hadn't wanted to ask, because he didn't want to admit that there was a gap in his memory. That might just give Birger more reason to keep him under constant guard. And he couldn't ask his family when he wasn't even allowed to talk to them. But then, if they had wanted to talk to him, they could have at least tried to contact him.

All these thoughts going around in his head made it impossible for Norway to concentrate on the papers in front of him.

The feeling of uneasiness also began to return, but he was able to keep forcing it back. At the moment, he was in one of the safest places he could be, after all. No one in that building would let any harm come to him.

A few hours later, when it was time to leave for the appointments, he had gotten through some of the paperwork, although nowhere near as much as he actually needed to.

* * *

At first it seemed as if this appointment would go the same way that all the previous ones had. And there had been many previous ones. Starting very soon after he had been released from the hospital, Norway had been required to attend frequent doctor visits. He was still having physical therapy on his injured wrist, although he had finally been allowed to remove the splint the earlier that week. In addition to the physical therapy, he was asked questions about whether he was eating and sleeping enough, and given a basic examination. There had also been some attempts at counseling, but Norway had made it clear from the start that he wasn't going to talk about what had happened.

It wasn't until after the usual stuff was out of the way that something different happened.

"Haldor, there's something I need to talk to you about," the doctor told him. "I've been meaning to ask about this for a while now, actually. Have you heard from your family since they left?"

Norway wasn't sure why the doctor had felt the need to ask him about that, unless this was going to turn into another conversation about how his family had abandoned him and he should distance himself from them. But at the same time, he couldn't lie about it. "I saw them at a meeting, but that was it. They're probably busy, though."

It seemed as if the doctor was about to say something, when there a knock on the door to the office. The doctor stopped whatever he had been about to say and went to open the door, to find that Birger had gotten apparently gotten tired of waiting and come to find out what was taking longer than usual.

"Haldor, if you're done here, we should probably get you back to my apartment now. You've been looking a little tired today, and it would probably be good if you got some rest."

Norway suspected that the doctor had been about to tell him something about his family, but he had no idea what. However, Birger's presence in the room kept him from being able to ask, so he was left to wonder about it. Instead, he left with Birger, and returned to the apartment, where Birger made him go to his room and rest until dinner time.

By the time he was called to come out and eat dinner, Norway had managed to once again push his emotions fully behind the wall he had built to contain them.

* * *

And so, the month of March wore on, much the same way that day had. By the end of that week, Norway had finally made a noticeable dent in the paperwork he had to catch up on. Although he continued to have nightmares about Scandia, he was always able to push everything back behind the wall by end of each day and go on feeling nothing.

During the hours that his defenses were lowered, he did think about his family and wonder if there was something he didn't know about why they had left. Sometimes he let himself hope that was the case, but in the end it always came back to the fact that everyone was telling him that his family had abandoned him.

As time passed the day for April's world meeting drew closer and closer, and Birger had yet to say anything about whether or not Norway would be allowed to go. Unlike the last meeting, this one was not being held somewhere that he had an embassy. That meant that he would have to stay in the hotel where the rest of the nations stayed. And Birger didn't seem to think that was a good idea. Every time the subject of the meeting came up, Birger said that it seemed a good idea if Norway skipped April's meeting. And since he had missed so many lately, what was one more?

Every month the meeting was hosted by a different country. In theory all countries were supposed to take turns hosting the meetings. In reality, there was a core group that hosted most of them. Most of the meetings were held in the capital city of the host country, but there were exceptions. And this month, happened to be one of the months for exceptions, as it was America's turn to host the meeting, and he tended to try to have each meeting he hosted by held in a different state than the previous one had been.

It wouldn't have been a gig deal if the meeting was going to be held in Washington DC, New York City, Houston, San Francisco, or Minneapolis. But since it wasn't being held in one of those cities, Birger didn't think that Norway should attend the meeting, and he refused to back down from that opinion.

As the deadline drew closer, it began to look certain that Norway wouldn't be allowed to attend April's world meeting.

* * *

And so things might have stood, if it hadn't been for a conference between the three people most involved in Norway's care. After the first discussion at the hospital, Birger had continued to meet with both Rosemarie, and with the doctor that was in charge of Norway's treatment. And at this conference, the other two finally decided to protest the stand that Birger had taken.

"Physically, there is no reason why Haldor can't go to the meeting. He has made a remarkable recovery, considering the state he was in two months ago. But I'm still a little worried about his continued recovery." The doctor had been trying to make this point for a few weeks now, but Birger had refused to listen.

"Which is why he shouldn't be allowed to go," Birger said. "As you pointed out, he is still recovering. The meeting might be too much for him, and no one will be keeping an eye on him."

"Did you ever think that watching over him all the time might not be good for him?" Rosemarie asked. "I'm concerned about the emotional state he's in. The best case scenario is that he's forcibly suppressing his emotions. If he's doing so unintentionally, the situation could be worse."

"But that's normal for Haldor," Birger said. "He never shows emotion, anyway, I don't think it's anything to worry about."

"I disagree. This state that Haldor is in could have serious consequences if he is not brought out of it carefully. But he won't let us help him, and I'm worried about what might happen to him if he remains in this state much longer. I think you should let him go to the meeting, and I think you should let him see his family. They know _him_ better than we do, and I think he needs to be around someone who will treat him like a person. I think we've all been too concerned with what he is, that we've lost sight of the fact that he is also a person who is suffering and needs help."

"But we don't know if one of them hurt him," Birger said. It kept coming back to that one point. Norway had obviously been hurt by someone, and it just made sense to suspect his family.

The doctor had been letting Rosemarie make the case, as she was the one who really had the strongest argument in favor of letting Norway attend the meeting. Now, though, he chimed back into the discussion. "You did a good job of looking after Haldor when he needed to be watched, but as I have pointed out several times, he has recovered enough to no longer need the constant supervision. And I really don't think his family had anything to do with what happened to him. He is clearly important to them, and they might be the ones who are most qualified to help him."

Several moments passed before Birger replied. He seemed to be thinking over what the others had said. At last, he said, "If you really think he is strong enough, he can attend the meeting. But if his condition worsens because of that . . ." He left the rest of that sentence unsaid, but the others could infer what he meant.

* * *

Birger waited until later that evening to speak to Norway about the meeting. During the intervening hours, he kept his usual close watch to make sure nothing went wrong. It wasn't until after dinner that he brought up the subject of the meeting.

"Haldor, I've been thinking some more about whether or not you should be allowed to attend the meeting next month, and after consulting with some others, I've decided that you can go. I still have some doubts about whether this is a good idea, and I want you to be careful not to overdo it, or anything. You're still recovering, after all."

By this point, Norway had pretty much given up on the idea of being able to go to the meeting. After several weeks of discussion, there had been no indication that Birger would change his mind about the meeting. But, even now that he had been told he could go, he did not feel relieved, even though it would finally be a chance to get away from having someone watching him all the time. Instead, he wasn't sure what he felt, especially since everything had once again been pushed back behind the wall.

* * *

**Author's note:** I'm not quite satisfied with the way I ended this chapter. It feels like it just kind of trails off, but I couldn't think of a better ending. The next chapter will be about April's world meeting, but it probably won't be out for a few weeks. I don't have as much time for writing during the summer as I do the rest of the year, and I'm also rethinking whether this story is worth continuing. I have a clear idea where I want the story to go, and I'm still hoping to continue it, but it might take a little while before I feel I can work on it again. Someone took a passage from this story and used it out of context in a way that made me feel uncomfortable about the fact that I'm writing this story at all. So, I need to get over that before I can continue. I do hope to have the next chapter out by sometime in July at the latest, though.

Also, this is probably the last chapter that the human characters will have a major role in. They may appear later in the story again, but I don't have any plans for that. Oh, and for the record, the things that Birger is doing were not all officially sanctioned. He was assigned to do whatever was necessary to make sure that Norway was safe, and he took that assignment a little too far.

And, I never did figure out where March's meeting was actually held, because it wasn't a major plot point. All I know for sure is that it was held in some city where Norway has an embassy, and that it wasn't in one of the other Nordic countries. Beyond those two points, where that meeting was held really has no bearing on the plot.


	10. Chapter 10

**Warnings**: Refer to the earlier chapters for more specific warnings, but this chapter does have one part that might be indicative of eating disorder symptoms. And one other thought that might be disturbing to some people. But I think any disturbing things in this chapter are implied, rather than stated outright.

**Author's Note: **I picked the location of the meeting pretty much just for the name of the street that hotel is on. I was going through cities that I have some familiarity with, and when I discovered just how many hotels with conference centers are located on International Drive in Orlando, I knew I had to set the meeting there, just for the street name.

Chapter Ten

Getting to the meeting was one of the most difficult things Norway had done in a while. Most nations used public transportation to travel to the meetings, since it was considered impolite to enter another country through the shortcut without permission. Leaving his own country hadn't been that bad, but then he'd had to change planes in New York, and the crowd in the airport had been a little more than he was ready to deal with. And it was it was the first crowd of that size he had faced without being accompanied by someone from his government since the previous summer.

The second plane had been a full flight, but he at least managed to get an aisle seat, rather than being pinned in by strangers. Still, it had been almost more than he could handle in his current state. He managed to keep the wall that locked up his emotions from falling, but over the last several days, he had felt it weakening.

By the time the plane landed in Orlando, he was exhausted. He had slept a little during the flight, but never deeply enough to risk nightmares. He did not want to have one of those in front of a plane full of strangers, even if, on the longer of the two flights, at least some of those "strangers" had been his people. (Usually, he would not think of his own people as strangers, so he had been slightly surprised to feel that way.)

And even once he was finally off the plane, he still had to get to the hotel where that month's meeting was being held. He took a cab to the hotel, without even bothering to look into other options. A hotel shuttle or a bus might involve more of a crowd than he was ready to deal with at the moment. It also might mean that he would have to see some of the other nations, and at the moment, he wasn't ready to deal with that. He didn't know how much any of them knew about what had happened to him. He kept wondering if his family had told anyone.

When Norway finally got to the hotel, he went up to the desk to check in.

"You must be one of the people here for that international conference," the woman at the check in desk commented, as she entered his information into the computer. "There have been people arriving for that all day."

He didn't reply to that. Instead, he merely took back the papers he had shown her, took his room keys, and prepared to go in search of the elevator.

He had gone only a short distance from the desk, when the clerk called out to him, "Sir, I almost forgot. Some people that checked in earlier today left a message for you."

Norway's first reaction upon hearing that was a brief moment of apprehension. It had been so late by the time he got permission to attend the meeting that very few other nations knew he was coming, and considered how many meetings he had missed in that last several months, other nations were probably more likely to assume that he wouldn't be there. So he couldn't think who would have known to leave him a message. But he still went back to the desk and took the envelope the clerk handed him.

Once he saw the envelope, with his human name written on the outside, the apprehension lessened. He recognized the handwriting, and realized the note was from his family. But he wondered why they were bothering to contact him now, after two and a half months when he had heard nothing from them.

Norway took the envelope up to his room, but did not look at it right away. Instead, he focused on unpacking the things he had brought with him, in a subconscious attempt to put off looking at the note. Once that was done, he turned his attention to the note.

When he had opened the envelope and unfolded the paper inside, one part of the note caught his attention: _I don't know if you're upset with us about what happened, but we're all a little worried that you haven't responded to any of our letters. We won't force you into any contact you don't want, but after everything that happened, we would at least like to know you're okay._

There was more to the note, but that was the part he kept looking at over and over. They had never sent him any notes before this one, so why did they talk like they had. Norway had lost count of the number of times Birger had pointed out the fact that his family hadn't contacted him since leaving him at the hospital.

It did not immediately occur to Norway that Birger might have lied to him. But at the same time, he couldn't figure out why his family claimed to his written to him, but he had never received any letters. He couldn't believe that they would lie to him either. But what motive could someone from his government have for lying to him? They couldn't be that determined to break his ties with his family, could they? He really couldn't believe that someone from his government would lie though, so, as much as he didn't want to think it, his family must be the ones lying.

Once again he heard Scandia's words in his mind, the same words that he heard many nights in his dreams. _"They finally got tired of dealing with you. This is all you are good for, and now they know that as well. They all see you for the little freak that you are. And now that they know this is all you're good for . . ."_

Norway let the letter fall to the floor, the remainder of it unread. He went to stand by the window and looked down at the street. He wasn't sure what street it was, but the hotel was, appropriately enough, on a street called International Drive.

As he watched the traffic on the street below, Norway tried to block out the words that kept repeating in his head. Gradually he began to realize that he was really alone for the first time since January. There was no one who would be coming to check on him. No one to stop him from . . . He shook his head to chase that thought away before it could finish.

It was only late afternoon, but it felt like nighttime to him because of the time difference. He became aware now of how tired he was, after having slept so lightly on the plane. He went and lay down on the bed, intending to take a short nap. After all, no one would be looking for him until at least the next day. And there was still another day before the meeting, as most of the European countries arrived two days before the meeting, in order to have a day to get used to the time difference.

* * *

When Norway woke up again it actually was nighttime. He hadn't meant to sleep that long, especially since his sleep had been troubled by unpleasant dreams. Although he could at least be somewhat relieved that Scandia had not been in the dream, he had still been troubled by a feeling of some threat, and the sound of crying. He knew that he would get no more sleep that night, although with the time difference it was early morning anyway.

As tempting as the prospect was, Norway knew that he could not hide in this room all day. Even though there was still another day before the meeting, someone might look for him at some point that day.

He got up from the bed, and turned on a few lights before changing out of the clothes he had slept in. Once he had changed into fresh clothes, he got out some papers he had brought with him, and took them over to desk, where he began to look through them. There was no sound in the room except for the rustling of papers, and the hum of the air-conditioning.

Eventually, though he had finished looking through the papers, not that there had really been that much to look through in the first place. He hadn't brought that much with him, just a few things that he thought might be useful for the meeting.

Putting down the last of the papers, Norway felt his attention drawn to the note his family had left for him. He was still not quite sure what to think of that note, but he did begin to realize that today, he would probably see his family again. And, unlike the previous month, he did not have any reasons not to talk to them. Well, any reasons other than the fact that he hadn't heard anything from them after they had left him at the hospital. That was a pretty big reason right there.

* * *

It was some time later that Norway finally forced himself to leave his hotel room and go downstairs to the lobby. It was still somewhat early in the morning, and he hoped that there wouldn't be too many people downstairs. Or rather, he hoped that no one from his family would be downstairs. He wanted to see them again, but at the same time, he didn't feel ready. He still didn't know why they claimed to have contacted him when they hadn't, for one thing.

He didn't particularly want to see any of the other nations before the meeting, either. After what had happened at January's meeting, he was sure at least some of them were talking about him. And he had not missed the way some of them had looked at him at the previous month's meeting. He did not want to be talked about and looked at that way, or seen as weak by the rest of the world.

More than anything else, Norway just wanted things to go back to normal, to be the way they had been before Scandia's visit. He missed the days when he had been able to keep his secret so deeply buried that no one suspected. He had still had the occasional nightmare, but over the long time that had passed those has lessened. Scandia's visit had brought back memories and emotions that it had taken him centuries to bury before. And he really did not want to go through a century or more of feeling the way he had the past few months.

Despite all his reasons for wanting to hide in his room until time for the meeting, it was the need to eat breakfast that forced Norway to leave his room. He could have ordered room service, but that might require opening the door to a stranger. It was better to take the risk of seeing some of the nations, where at least there would be people around.

He had actually briefly considered just skipping breakfast, but had quickly changed his mind at the thought of what his doctor would say to that idea. Or for that matter what any of the people who had been taking care of him would say about that. Most days he still had to force himself to eat, but he tried to keep that hidden as much as possible. And he had gained back some of the weight he had lost back in the fall, although he was still underweight. And he hadn't eaten anything the previous day, because he had been traveling.

So, even though he still didn't feel like eating, he forced himself to leave the room anyway, just to avoid the trouble he would get in if anyone discovered he was skipping meals again.

By the time Norway had actually managed to force himself to go downstairs, it was late enough that several others were up. When he saw that there were several other nations in the lobby, he had to force himself not to turn around and go back to the elevator and return to his room. But, he would have to face them the next day at the meeting, anyway, so he might as well get used to it.

He tried to avoid looking at any of the others in the room, but he knew that some of them were probably looking at him. He did not want to find that out for sure.

Norway had not gone very far into the lobby, and was still trying to avoid looking at any of the others in the room, when he heard someone call his name. He stopped and looked around to see that Sweden and Finland were among the nations that were in the lobby. After spotting them, he took a closer look around, but did not see the rest of the family.

While he was still looking around, Sweden and Finland came over to talk to him.

"Haldor, did you get the note we left for you?" Finland asked. He used Norway's human name, since there were a few humans around.

"Yes," Norway answered. He had gotten the note after all. He just hadn't read all of it.

A few of the other nations in the lobby were looking at them now, or at least, occasionally glancing over at them. Although it really was only a few nations that were looking at them, it was still a little more than Norway could handle at the moment. He glanced back towards the elevators, but there seemed to be too many people to get past to reach them, and he did not want to attract any more attention than he already had. But he was beginning to feel the, now very familiar, need to escape.

"Haldor, are you alright?" Finland asked, apparently having noticed Norway's discomfort.

Norway focused himself to focus his attention on them, and tried to keep his usual blank expression in place. He had not had time to completely rebuild the wall yet, so he was not sure how successful this attempt was. "Yes," he managed to answer after a few moments of silence. He still felt uncomfortable to know that the others in the lobby were watching them, and he felt sure they were just waiting for him to show some sign of weakness again.

"Have you had breakfast yet?" Finland asked, after a few moments of silence. If he had seen through Norway's attempt at acting normal, he did not comment on it.

"Not yet, but I'm not really hungry," Norway answered. He just wanted to go back up to his room, and away from the people looking at him. As much as he wanted to see his family again, this whole meeting was just too awkward. He didn't know how to act around them anymore, and he was afraid something would happen that might let other nations learn his secret. And he just didn't know what to say to them. He wanted to ask why they had left without saying goodbye, and why they hadn't contacted him after that, but he wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer.

_So they finally got tired of dealing with you_. He heard Scandia's words in his mind again, and shook his head to dispel the words. But that nagging doubt would not go away.

"Haldor?" Finland asked, a note of concern in his voice. "Haldor, are you alright?"

Norway heard the question, although it seemed to come from some distance, and was almost drowned out by the memory of Scandia's words. He tried to tell himself that those words weren't true. That two members of his family were right here in front of him–they weren't tired of dealing with him. As much as he was working to push the memory away, he was not completely successful, and he could feel the beginning of the tightness in his chest that signaled the coming of another attack. After several moments, he was able to try to speak, "I need to get out of here." If he could not avoid the attack, he would not have it in front of so many witnesses again.

He wasn't sure what he had expected after saying that. He hadn't really expected Sweden and Finland to just let him go, whatever Scandia may have said. But he was still a little surprised that they stayed with him. In fact, it seemed almost as if they were trying to keep him shielded somewhat from the watchers.

Most of Norway's attention was focused on trying not to surrender to the growing fear, and once they were outside, he did relax a little. It helped to know that he was no longer being stared at. To his relief, he was able to avoid a full panic attack this time, and push back the memory of Scandia's words. For several moments, he focused his complete attention on watching the traffic on the street, and finding other things he could focus on as well, anything that could remind him of where he actually was and that Scandia wasn't there. Once he felt calmer, he turned towards Sweden and Finland, who had stayed nearby, although far enough away to give him some space. "I'm alright now. You don't need to stay out here with me," he told them. _You don't need to pretend that you care_, was what he wanted to say.

There was an awkward silence for a few moments, before Finland said, "Norja, we didn't come out here with you because we felt we had to. We care about you, and wanted to make sure you were okay."

Norway wasn't sure what to say to that. He looked at them, searching for a sign as to whether they really cared about him, or whether they were just pretending.

"Do you want us to leave?"

"No," he said, surprising himself with that answer. He had intended to tell them to leave him alone. Especially since he knew it was only a matter of time before they would. "But I don't need you to stay," he managed to add after a few moments. It was the closest he could come to telling them to leave, when he didn't really want them to. Except for the limited contact at the previous month's meeting, Norway had not seen any of the other members of his family since January.

"Did someone in there make you uncomfortable?"

"No–I just . . ." He trailed off, unable to explain. If he admitted that he had gotten so uncomfortable because he did not like being stared at, then it would just prove how weak he really was. But then, they already knew that, didn't they? They had seen too much to not know.

The uncomfortable silence returned, as no one seemed to know what to say. Or while they were trying to think of the next question to ask him. Norway was aware that both of the others were studying him closer, but it did not make him as uncomfortable as he had been inside. After all, they were family.

"When was the last time you ate something?" Finland asked after a few moments, continuing the conversation that had been started inside.

Norway wasn't really surprised to be asked that. After all, he had admitted to not having eaten breakfast, and considering the condition he had been in a few months ago, it made sense that his family would worry about that. But he wasn't sure they would like the answer, and at first considered not answering. At last though he admitted, "Before leaving home." He refused to look at them as he admitted that.

"Y' need t' eat," Sweden said. Those were the first words he had spoken during that encounter.

"I'm not hungry." Which was actually the truth. Norway would eat when he was forced to, but he very rarely would otherwise. The fact that he had even made himself come downstairs was actually some progress. But he knew that if he went for several days without eating, he might get in trouble when he got back home, and would just have given Birger more reason to watch him constantly.

Norway could see that Sweden and Finland didn't actually believe him. The look that they exchanged made that rather obvious. He suspected that they might be trying to come up with some kind of plan to force him to eat, although he wasn't sure why they were bothering. It wasn't like he was in any danger from skipping a few meals. And anyway, he just didn't feel like eating. It wasn't like there was something wrong with that.

After a few moments, his guess that they were trying to find a way to make him eat was proved correct.

"It's been a while since our whole family was together," Finland said. "I think I'll go call Tanska and Islanti, and then all five of us can go out together to get something to eat." With that, he turned to leave and call reinforcements. Right before leaving to make the calls, he turned back long enough to say, "Talk to him."

* * *

**A note about updates**: I'm going to be doing Camp NaNo this month, which means I'll be starting a new story and trying to get 50,000 words of that new story. So, any writing I do on this will only be after I've made my daily word count on the other story. I hope to get an update up at least one more time this month, but I'm not going to make any promises. I know what's going to happen in the next chapter though, and I'm looking forward to writing it. (Among other things, Norway might finally learn the true reason his family left while he was in the hospital.)


	11. Chapter 11

**Important note: **Although this story is taking place modern day, it is _not_ taking place this year. It will not deal in any way with what happened last week.

**Warnings: **This chapter does contain some victim blaming. It also contains a flashback that will contain emotional and physical child abuse. Also, all warnings mentioned in the previous chapters, and in "Family Secrets" still apply.

**Extra disclaimer:** This chapter contains a quote from a first season episode of CSI. The episode is called "Blood Drops." The quote comes from the end of the episode, and therefore contains spoilers for that episode, however, I decided that season was long enough ago that I could get away with doing that.

Chapter Eleven

It hadn't been clear who that final comment had been directed at, but neither of them obeyed it. Norway kept his attention focused on the road in front of the hotel, not wanting to look at someone who so closely resembled Scandia, afraid that if he did so the memories would return. And, he was also inwardly preparing himself to see the rest of the family.

Sweden had known the statement was directed towards him, but this didn't seem like a good time to bring up any of the things he needed to talk to Norway about. So, instead, he used the time to watch Norway, and was relieved to see how much better Norway looked, at least physically.

The splint had been removed from Norway's wrist, although the injury had left a noticeable scar. Although Norway still looked like he wasn't sleeping enough, the shadows under his eyes were less pronounced. And, best of all, Norway no longer looked like he was in danger of starving to death. He was still far too thin, but he had at least gained back some weight.

After several moments, Norway looked up and realized he was being watched. Their eyes met for a moment, before Norway looked away again. "Don't," he said. He didn't want to be looked at like that, not by someone that he knew was waiting for him to fail.

"Norge, wh't's wr'ng?" Sweden wasn't sure what Norway had been referring to with that statement, since he hadn't been doing anything. He was a little worried that Norway had mistaken him for Scandia again.

"Stop staring at me like that." There was more he wanted to say, but he couldn't actually say any of it.

"S'rry."

They were spared any further awkwardness by the arrival of the rest of the family.

"Nor!" Denmark immediately went up to Norway and pulled him into an embrace. Norway tensed at first, but after a few seconds he relaxed into the embrace.

After another few moments, Norway had had enough of being held, though, and he began to struggle a little bit, eventually managing to raise his hands enough to push Denmark away, forcing the larger man to let him go. Then he looked around at the rest of the family.

Finland had gone over to stand by Sweden, and appeared to have just said something to him. Sweden appeared to be glaring at Denmark, although it was hard to tell the difference from his usual expression. His expression just seemed slightly more intense than usual.

Iceland had remained a short distance away from the rest of the family. Until that moment, Norway had allowed himself some small hope that when they saw each other again, Iceland might have accepted their true relationship, especially since he had admitted it out loud when they had spoken briefly the previous month. Although, Norway knew that he shouldn't expect his child – _his brother_ – to accept something that he still had trouble with.

"Island." Norway barely spoke above a whisper, but it was loud enough for the rest of the family to hear.

For a few seconds, their eyes met, and Iceland took a few steps closer to Norway. "Noregur." That was all he said.

Although both Norway and Iceland had things they wanted to say, the fact that each of them believed they knew what the other was thinking kept either of them from speaking.

* * *

They did not talk about any of the issues they were currently dealing with until after breakfast. Instead, all conversation was kept to neutral topics. In fact, they were even more cautious than usual as to what they discussed.

The rest of the family was relieved to see that Norway ate close to half of his breakfast. The last time they had seen him, they still had to force him to eat more than a few bites at every meal.

After breakfast, they did not return to the hotel, thinking it would be better to try to resolve the situation before returning to where the other nations could see them. So, they went to a small park not too far from the restaurant where they'd had breakfast.

None of them were really looking forward to this conversation, although they all knew there were things that needed to be said. It was not an unheard of for families to be torn apart by something like what they were currently dealing with. And based on all that had happened so far, it looked like they risked being one of those families.

Although the Nordics presented the front of being a very close family, they weren't really as close as the rest of the world believed they were. True, they spent a lot of time together, and some of them didn't really have any close relationships outside their family. But the only way the family managed to spend as much time together as they did was due to an unspoken agreement to never discuss certain topics.

"Did you get the letters we sent you, Norja?" Finland asked, to begin the discussion.

"What letters?"

The rest of the family exchanged looks after hearing that answer. They had suspected that Norway might not be getting the letters they were sending him. But they hadn't really believed his government would really interfere like that.

"We wrote to you after we left. We all wanted to make sure that you knew that we were still concerned about you, even though we had to leave."

For a few moments there was silence, before Norway said, "I never got any letters." He still wasn't sure he believed what they were telling him. After all, why would everyone have kept bringing up the fact that his family hadn't contacted him, if they had been sending letters?

Meanwhile, the rest of the family was beginning to get even more worried. They suspected now that Norway's government had been lying to him, but they were unsure of the extent of the lies, or of how many people were involved.

"Norja, did anyone tell you why we left?" Finland asked. He was the one asking most of the questions, because he was the one that Norway seemed most willing to trust.

At first, it seemed as though Norway wouldn't answer. In fact, he would not even look at his family. "Birger said you had more important things to do, and that you didn't care anymore," he admitted at last, still not looking at them. The last part of that admission had been said so quietly that the rest of the family barely heard it.

"Norja, that wasn't really the reason we left." Finland tried to think of the best way to explain what had happened. After all, it probably would not be a good idea to come right out and accuse Norway's government of lying to him.

Unfortunately, one member of the family had no such qualms. "Nor, they must have been lying to you for some reason. They're the ones who sent us away, and they probably intercepted the letters we sent you as well."

At that statement, Norway turned back around to face them. His face wore its usual cold expression, and when he spoke, his voice betrayed no sign of emotion. Only his words gave any hint as to his feelings. "My government would not lie to me. And they're the ones who cared enough to stay. Birger said that you were trying to take advantage of the condition I was in, and that if you really cared, you would have contacted me after you left."

"Nor-"

"Don't. I don't want to hear any more of your lies. You said that you wouldn't leave, and you did. So, why should I believe anything else you say?" For just a moment, there seemed to a sign of some of emotion on his face, but it was gone too quickly for anyone to be sure they'd really seen it.

For a few moments, none of them said anything. They all knew this discussion was going a lot worse than they had expected it to. But at the moment, none of them were quite sure what to say to fix the damage that their telling the truth had apparently caused. None of them had any idea what Norway had been told by his government, and so they could not really address it. They knew of at least two lies his government, or at least one person from it, had told him. But, they could not be sure if that was the full extent. And they were also beginning to suspect that Birger may have been trying to turn Norway against them.

Norway had turned away from them again. Since they could not see his face anymore, they had no way to look for clues as to what he might be feeling. But something they had seen in that brief moment that his expression had slipped worried them. None of them knew what to say, and at least some of them felt that saying that wrong thing now might cause irreparable damage.

* * *

Norway couldn't believe that his family would lie to him like that, but he also couldn't believe his government had lied.

Despite the warmth outside, a chill swept over him, and he shivered. He could feel the wall that he had forced all of his emotions behind crumbling under the blow of this final lie. He wished his family would just admit the truth, rather than pretending that they still cared about him. Anything would be better than having them make accusations against his government in order to exonerate themselves.

He could feel wetness at the corners of his eyes, and he knew he was losing the battle to keep the wall from breaking. But he would not give his family the satisfaction of seeing him break down. He had to get away before that happened. He stood up, and walked away, ignoring the calls from behind him. The tears were still forming, and he knew it was only a matter of time before they would fall, but he still managed to make it almost to the street before he could hold everything back no longer. Norway wiped away the tears that were beginning to fall, but more took their place, and his vision was becoming too blurred by tears for him to go any further. Falling to his knees, he surrendered to the emotions he could no longer hold back.

Norway didn't know how much time passed, before enough awareness returned for him to hear someone coming up behind him. He turned and looked up at them, though a film of tears that still filled his eyes. The person who was approaching him was not someone he recognized; instead it was a strange man who was wearing some sort of uniform.

"Sir, are you alright?" the man asked.

It took a few moments before Norway was even able to understand the words, and even then, he could not remember how to answer.

"Sir?" the man asked again. "Do you need help?"

Norway wanted to tell the man that he was okay, but he couldn't manage to remember the English words. He wasn't even sure he could speak at all, as it was almost more than he could do to even focus on the man talking to him.

The next thing he knew he was being pulled into a very familiar embrace. As if from a great distance, he could hear voices, familiar voices, talking to the other man, and he realized that his family had followed him.

That brief moment of clarity vanished, as another wave came over him. Norway was only dimly aware of the arms holding him, and the voices of his family around him. In the brief moments of clarity between each wave, he became aware of their presence, which acted as an anchor to keep him from being swept away by the tempest.

* * *

The first thing Norway became aware of was that someone was running their fingers through his hair, and that someone else was holding his hand. He was lying on some sort of hard, slightly uneven surface, with his head resting on what felt like someone's lap. It took him a couple of attempts to open his eyes, which felt swollen and painful. He wasn't able to keep them more than halfway open, due to the headache that immediately made itself felt.

Still, Norway was able to see enough to take in his surroundings. He was lying on a park bench, in the shade of a large tree, and his head was resting on Denmark's lap. He managed to turn his head to the side enough to discover that Iceland was kneeling on the ground beside the bench, and holding his hand. He couldn't see Sweden and Finland, but he suspected they were probably nearby as well.

"Nor? Are you back with us?" Denmark asked. He was still running his fingers through Norway's hair.

Norway managed to find the energy to nod. He felt almost completely drained of energy, and his mouth was so dry he couldn't speak. But he felt the safest he had felt since those few weeks right after Christmas.

"See if you can help him sit up. We need to get him some water." Finland said, confirming Norway's suspicion that the other two family members had stayed as well.

Iceland let go of Norway's hand, and stood up, walking a short distance away. Meanwhile, Denmark helped Norway into a partial sitting position, and continued to support him, while keeping him within a protective embrace.

Finland approached the bench, holding a small plastic water bottle. He uncapped the bottle and held it to Norway's lips. "Try to drink some of this," he said.

All too soon, the water was taken away again, but the few sips of water were enough that Norway was able to talk again. "You didn't leave."

"We weren't going to leave you alone like that," Denmark said, his grip on the smaller man tightening.

For a few moments, Norway was content to lean back and relax. He felt safe, surrounded by his family like that, and held securely in his older brother's arms, although he would never admit out loud that he liked being held like that. Norway's eyes drifted closed, and his awareness slipped away again.

* * *

"We need to get him back to the hotel," Finland said. "He'll be able to rest better in an actual bed."

"He's alright isn't he?" Denmark asked. "He's not going to get sick again, is he?" He was gently running his fingers through Norway's hair, being extra careful to avoid the stray curl. Norway seemed to be sleeping peacefully, his head resting in Denmark's lap.

"I think Norja just wore himself out from crying. You shouldn't have told him like that. I was trying to think of a more diplomatic way to tell him."

"I didn't think he'd get that upset."

"Y' told h'm h's government lied t' h'm."

"I'm going to call a cab. We really do need to get Norja back to the hotel," Finland said, hoping to avoid another argument from starting.

For the last hour, the previous argument had been forgotten, as the entire family had been focused on helping Norway. However, now that Norway had calmed down and seemed to be resting peacefully, Denmark and Sweden seemed to have remembered that they were still angry at each other.

None of them were used to seeing Norway as upset as he had been, and they had not been sure what to do. They had stayed with him, and done their best to make sure he knew they were there, and that he was safe. But now, the important thing was to get him back to the hotel.

* * *

They were able to get Norway back to the hotel without too much trouble. Although they had needed to help him to the cab, by the time they actually reached the hotel, he had woken up enough to be able to walk on his own. Of course, that didn't stop the others from keeping an extra close eye on him for the time it took to get him upstairs to his room, and settled in the bed, with a damp washcloth over his eyes.

Despite the fact that they all knew he would be alright this time, none of them wanted to leave him alone. Although none of them said so, they were all remembering what had happened when they had left him alone before, to go talk in the kitchen. They all knew that Scandia was no longer a threat, if only because none of them had any intention of letting him get anywhere near Norway ever again, and that was if he ever even came back again. Considering that the whole family knew the truth, none of them believed Scandia would ever visit again.

There was also the issue of the nightmares that they all knew Norway had. Well, they didn't know if he was still having them, but it still provided another excuse not to leave him alone.

Although none of them would admit it out loud, they were all still very worried about Norway. Physically, he really did seem to be recovering, even if he was still noticeably underweight. But his emotional state worried them. They were all used to Norway almost never showing any emotion beyond small hints they were only able to catch because they spent enough time around him. For the past several months, they had witnessed more displays of emotion from him than they could ever remember seeing before. That was certainly understandable, but it left all of them a little unsure of what to do for him.

"I don't know what else we can do to help him," Finland said, once they had all taken up stations around the bed. From the beginning, he had taken the lead in what they had done to help Norway. He had been the one to find Norway and bring him home back in December. And he was the one that Norway still seemed less likely to react negatively towards. "I think he needs to talk to someone, but I don't know if he will."

* * *

It was only early afternoon when Norway woke up. He had only slept a little over an hour, but thankfully his sleep had been free of nightmares. Although, the nightmares no longer came every time he slept, they were still frequent enough that any relief from them was a blessing.

His eyes no longer felt as swollen as they had earlier, and his headache had mostly gone away while he slept. Although he no longer felt so tired, there still some lingering tiredness. It was a few minutes before he opened his eyes and looked around. That was when he discovered that his family had stayed in his room while he slept.

Norway really hadn't expected his family to stay and watch over him. After all, whatever they were claiming, they had left before. Why should he think this time would be any different? And why did he care anyway? It wasn't like he really needed their help. He could manage just fine on his own. He had dealt with this alone for years, for centuries. He didn't need to have someone watching over him all the time.

But at the same time, Norway was glad his family had stayed. And he wanted to believe they still cared.

"You don't need to stay any longer. I'm alright now," he said, pushing himself into a sitting position. He needed to be alone to rebuild his defenses. Although at the moment, he still felt okay, he already missed the comforting numbness that had gotten him through the last two months.

For a few moments, none of the others spoke or moved. They merely regarded him in silence. Then Denmark reached out, as if to touch Norway's shoulder. Unintentionally, Norway flinched away from the touch, an expression of fear briefly crossing his face.

"Nor, what's wrong?"

"Don't touch me." The last clear memory Norway had from before his family had left him at the hospital was when Denmark had refused to stop touching him. He remembered suddenly feeling terrified, and then there was that blank spot in his memory. Although he had never managed to figure out what had happened then, he suspected it was the reason his family had left. Something he had done, and couldn't remember doing, had driven them away, and made them stop caring . . . But then, if they had stopped caring, why where they here now? Norway closed his eyes, and shook his head in attempt to dispel the thoughts that kept going around in circles in his mind. He didn't know what to think anymore.

With his eyes closed, Norway couldn't see what was going on in the room, but he though he could hear the others moving around. And after a few moments, he heard Finland say, "Tanska, give him some space. You're upsetting him."

"I just wanted to make sure he was alright. And he didn't mind being touched back in the park."

"H've y' f'rgott'n wh't happened b'fore? Why don't y' just st'y aw'y fr'm h'm, b'fore y' make h's condition w'rse ag'n."

"I wasn't going to hurt him. And he doesn't always have a problem with being touched. How am I supposed to predict whether he's going to react badly or not? And it's not like you've done anything to help him!"

"'nd 'll y've done 's make h'm worse!"

Norway brought his hands up to cover his ears, as his older brothers continued their argument. He did not open his eyes to look at them, but he knew it was only a matter of time before they would begin really fighting. It would be just like it had been back when they had lived together, in those last several years of the Kalmar Union when Denmark and Sweden had fought with each other all the time. During the last few decades, they had started to be civil to each other, at least, but now they were fighting again, and it was all his fault. They wouldn't be fighting, if he had been strong enough to get over something that he should have gotten over long ago. It would have been better if they had never found out. Now he was tearing the family apart, all because he had been too weak to keep Scandia from using him. But at least he knew the truth now. He really was nothing more to his family than something to fight over.

* * *

Norway wasn't the only one who was reminded of the last days of the Kalmar Union, although the rest of the family knew that this was the second big argument that Denmark and Sweden had had recently.

The two of them were so focused on their argument, that they did not actually notice the person they were arguing about. They did not see Norway cover his ears with his hands. They did not hear his breathing speed up, signaling the possible beginning of another panic attack. They did not see Norway lie back down on the bed, and curl up into a fetal position under the blankets.

Iceland was the one who noticed the effect the fight was having on Norway. Although he had still kept his distance, he had not actually taken his eyes off his brother. And, unlike the rest of the family, Iceland was too young to really remember the fights during the Kalmar Union. His memories of those years were about how Norway had tried to shield him from the fights. If he had been in the room when a fight had started, Norway had always taken him out of the room and kept him distracted until the house quieted down. If he had been woken up during the night by the fighting, Norway had always come into his room soon after, and sat with him until it was quite again.

But now, Norway was the one who needed to be protected from the argument, which was obviously upsetting him.

"Stop it!" Iceland yelled at Denmark and Sweden, actually startling them into stopping their fight to look at him. He gestured toward the bed. "Look at what you're doing to him!"

And at last they saw what their fight had caused, and that was enough to keep them from arguing anymore for the time being.

For a few moments, they all just stayed right where they were. None of them were sure how to handle this situation, especially if Norway really did end up having another panic attack. The way he was currently trying to block them out limited their options for reassuring him. And they all remembered what had happened in the hospital, and how difficult getting through to him had been that time.

Iceland was now the one who was standing closest to the bed, but he was reluctant to touch Norway and could think of no other way to get his attention. "Noregur?" he said quietly. "_Bróðir_?" With the rest of the family in the room, he did not use the method he had used a month ago to get Norway's attention.

There was no response from Norway, although at least he did not seem any worse.

None of them liked the idea of just waiting to see if Norway would calm down on his own. Somehow they had to find a way to get through to him, but they couldn't think of a way to get his attention without possibly making his condition worse. Eventually though, the silence in the room began to have an effect.

At first it was barely noticeable. Norway gradually relaxed from his curled up position, shifting position a few times. Then, he moved his hands away from his hears. He grabbed onto the blanket with one hand, running his fingers over the fabric. Slowly, his breathing began to even out. Then, finally, he opened his eyes and his gaze focused on Iceland, who was standing in between him and the rest of the family. "Eirik?" his voice was little more than a whisper, and a hint of tiredness was visible in his eyes, along with other things that weren't so easily identified.

"Are you okay now, _bróðir_?" Iceland asked, realizing even as he asked how unnecessary that question was. Norway hadn't been really "okay" since before Scandia's visit.

Whatever emotions had been visible in Norway's eyes were quickly masked, as he turned away from the rest of the family. "I'm alright . . . I want to be alone now." His tone wasn't quite back to normal, but it was the closest it had been in a while.

None of them really wanted to leave Norway alone yet, but at the same time, they didn't want to go against his wishes. And so, with various degrees of reluctance they left his room.

* * *

Once he was alone, Norway got out of bed, ignoring the lingering tiredness. It was still common enough for his sleep to be disturbed by unpleasant dreams that he was very used to functioning while tired. Of course, most the days, the more accurate description would be trying to function. He knew that wasn't really dealing with all the issues that Scandia's visit had forced out into the open, but at the same time, he could not bring himself to accept help. He had to manage on his own. If he didn't, then he would really be as weak as he knew his family thought he was.

He hadn't been as unaware is it had seemed earlier, and he knew that Iceland was the one who had gotten Denmark and Sweden to stop arguing. Although he wanted to be feel grateful, instead he was embarrassed that he had needed to be protected by his child, of all people. It wasn't supposed to be that way. It was his responsibility to make sure that Iceland was safe; he was the parent after all. And now, Denmark and Sweden would definitely see him as nothing more than just something to fight over, if he couldn't even protect himself.

Norway went into the bathroom and scrubbed his face until it hurt. Only then was he satisfied that all traces of his earlier tears had been washed away. Then he brushed his hair and clipped his pin back into place. His clothes were wrinkled from having been slept in, but there wasn't much he could do about that.

Once he felt that he looked reasonably normal, he went to the desk and made another attempt to go over his papers. After fifteen minutes of staring at the same sentence without comprehending it, he gave up and went to stand in front of the window.

For a while, he stood there and watched the cars on the street below. There was a constant stream of cars, but they weren't really that interesting to watch. It gave him something to focus on at least. Before too long, he grew tired of that and returned to the desk.

This time his attempt at going over the papers lasted a little longer, before his thoughts began to creep up on him again.

At around three o'clock, he turned the tv on hoping the sound might drive away those thoughts and maybe make the time pass faster. He didn't bother to change the channel from the one the last occupant of the room had left it on. That channel was showing a rerun of one of America's many police dramas.

After a few minutes, a comment made by one of the characters on the show indicated that it was the one that took place in Las Vegas. Norway left the tv on the in the background, as he once again tried to go through the papers. Eventually, though, the show caught his attention, and he began to wish he had never turned it on.

The episode was about a family who had been murdered, leaving only two daughters, a teenager and a little girl, alive. Towards the end of the episode it was revealed that the father had sexually abused the little girl. He was about to turn off the tv before any more on the topic could be said, when a scene came on where a couple of the police officers were questioning the teenage girl. However, before he could actually push the button, his attention was caught by the scene on the tv.

_"That was the last night he was going to touch her," the teenager was saying, finally revealing her motive for having her family killed._

_ "But why your mother? And why your brothers?" One of the policemen asked._

_ "Because they should have protected me!"_

_ "You."_

_ "My father . . . I was young. I learned to deal. But when he went for my daughter . . ."_

_ "Brenda is . . .? And who is . . .?"_

_ "The father? . . . I was thirteen . . . and nobody noticed that my clothes were getting bigger."_

Norway finally managed to push the button to turn off the tv, as the teenager was saying something about having protected the little girl. That whole story had just hit too close to home, to close to what he was trying to deal with. His legs felt too weak to hold him, so he sat down on the edge of the bed. It was getting hard to breathe, and he could no longer push away his memories.

This time, he knew he could not push this back on his own. It was the third time today he had almost been overwhelmed, and he didn't have the energy to deal with it again. And that story had just been too close.

Although his legs still felt weak, he forced himself to stand up, and take the few steps to the desk where his phone was lying. He had to use the edge of the desk to support himself, as he picked up the phone. He pressed the speed dial for one of the numbers that had been programmed into the phone. As a ringing sound came from the other end of the line, the phone fell from his hand onto the floor as he was overcome by memories.

_"You little freak! Do you realize the disgrace this will bring on our family?" Scandia was holding Norway's shoulder tight enough to bruise, his other hand raised as if to strike the boy._

_ Norway stood frozen in front of father, unable to defend himself. He felt like he was going to be sick again. For the past several days, he had felt nauseous almost all the time, especially early in the day, and he was barely able to keep anything down. And he felt exhausted, and his head was hurting. The first couple days he had assumed it was a reaction to something he had eaten, but several days had passed, and the sickness did not leave him. And eventually, his father had noticed._

_ Scandia was still talking. "I should have realized you were nothing more than a little freak when you started talking to things that weren't there. It might have been better for all of us if you had died with your mother."_

_ This was the first time Scandia had ever said something like that. Norway was used to being told that his mother's death had been his fault, but he had never before been told that he should have died too. Although the only time his mother's death was ever really brought up was to serve as the reason he had to submit to what his father wanted._

_ He wished his older brothers were around, because if they were, Scandia would probably not be quite so . . . angry. Scandia was always careful to never show any sign of the real way he treated Norway when any others were around. That meant that Norway had to put up with comments about being Scandia's favorite, but it also meant that Scandia would only bother him at night. He wanted to believe that his brothers didn't know anything about what Scandia did to him. After all, they were rarely around, although they had been around more lately._

_ "You'll have to get rid of it," Scandia said, apparently coming to end of what he had to say._

_ It took Norway a few moments to realize what his father had said. "No," he said, as comprehension dawned._

_ "You realize that if you don't, the whole world will find out what a little freak you are," Scandia said. His grip on Norway's shoulder, tightened even more, causing the boy to wince at the pain it caused._

_ Somehow, Norway still found the strength to defy his father. His rested his free hand over his stomach. "I won't kill my child." It was the first time he had ever openly defied his father, but he couldn't do what Scandia wanted him to._

_ The anger that had already been in Scandia's expression grew. "You dare to defy me?" He tightened his grip even more, destroying any chance the boy may have had to escape, while with his other hand, he at least delivered the threatened blow, striking his son's face._

_ Tears formed in the corners of Norway's eyes from the pain of the blow, but he would not let them fall. He kept all signs of the fear he felt from showing in his expression._

_ The lack of response just seemed to infuriate Scandia further, and the first blow was followed by another, and another._

Suddenly, there was a sound like someone knocking at a door. Norway opened his eyes, and at first he did not recognize where he was. Then, he remembered that he was in a hotel room. He was lying on the floor by the desk, and his phone was lying on the floor nearby. Although he could not see it, the screen was lit up, showing that there was an active call.

The knock came again, and this time Norway was aware enough to realize that someone was knocking at the door to the room. With the memory still fresh in his mind, his first thought was that Scandia may have come back. Eventually, though, he pushed that thought out of his mind, as the knock sounded a third time.

Norway had to use the edge of the desk for support, as he stood up, and even then it took him a couple of attempts. His legs were still so weak that he had to keep grabbing onto something for support as he made his way to the door. Even when he reached the door, he still had to keep on hand on the wall for support as he checked to see who was on the other side. He was surprised to see Finland there, and it wasn't until then that he remembered the phone call he had tried to make before being overwhelmed. He remembered that he had tried to call his family to ask for help, but he hadn't known if the call had gone through.

It took him a couple of attempts to get the door open, and he had to let go of the wall in order to do so.

Finland seemed to notice right away how unsteady Norway was at the moment, as he immediately supported him. He helped Norway over to the nearest chair, and then went to pick up the phone, which lay forgotten on the floor. "I don't think he's hurt, but I think something upset him. I'm going to stay long enough to make sure he's alright."

It wasn't until then that Norway even realized the phone had been on the whole time. Of course, that meant that once again, his entire family probably knew how weak he was.

Finland pulled one of the other chairs in the room over, and sat down across from Norway. It was very obvious that he was concerned. "What happened, Norja?" he asked.

For a few moments, Norway didn't answer. He felt embarrassed, for having gotten so upset over something on a tv show that he had needed to call for help. When he finally answered, though, it wasn't the show that he talked about. Without really meaning to, he whispered, "I was too weak to stop him." It was the first time he had really said anything about what Scandia had done to him. "He said I would ruin our family, and that's exactly what's happening."

"Nothing that your father did to you was your fault, Norja," Finland said. "What your father did to you was awful, but he is the only one to blame for it." He reached out to touch Norway's hand, before saying. "It was _not_ your fault." Only then did he address the other thing Norway had said. "And you are not ruining our family."

"_Far_ said that I would bring disgrace on our entire family. He said it would have better for the whole family if I had died with my mother. I was never good for anything except what he wanted from me, and then I wasn't even any good for that, because I'm a freak." He was only repeating the words that were fresh in his mind from that memory.

"Norja, having a child does not make you a freak. And you have done nothing to bring disgrace on your family. We care about you, and none of us think we would be better off if you had died."

Norway felt tears forming in his eyes again, and he reached up with his free hand to wipe them away before they could fall. He had lost control enough for one day. He would not appear that weak again. His defenses were so low after the wringer that his emotions had been put through that day, that he could not stop himself from asking the next question. "If you care, then why did you leave?" There was a hint of anger in his voice. "You just left, without even saying goodbye. And then, just acted like everything was normal afterward."

"We didn't want to leave you," Finland said. "We were sent away, because that representative of your government thought we were the ones who hurt you. And we tried to call you, but your phone number had been disconnected, and we couldn't find the new number. And we wrote to you, as well."

"Birger said that he'd made sure you'd be given the new number. And that fact that none of you called was proof that you didn't care." Once again, he wiped the tears that were forming away before they could fall. "Why can't you just admit that you don't care?"

"Because we do care about you. When you called earlier, and we couldn't get any kind of response from you, we were really worried. If you'd taken much longer to open the door, the others were going to call the front desk and see if they could get someone to come open your door for us. And when you ran away last year, we spent five months looking for you. The one thing that we all wanted then was to know that you were safe. If we hadn't all wanted that so badly, I might not have been able to find you."

Norway didn't really have a response to that. He wanted to believe that Finland was telling the truth. That his family really did care about him. But he couldn't believe that Birger had lied to him either–why would someone from his government lie to him like that, after all? And there was something else that he had been told, something that Scandia had told him, that he couldn't forget about either, especially when he had evidence that it was true. "_Far_ said that Danmark and Sverige never saw me as anything other than something to fight over. Isn't that why they were fighting earlier?"

It was several moments before Finland asked that question. At last, though, he said, "I told Sve that he needed to talk to you about that. But they are not fighting over you in the sense that you father meant it. If anything, they are fighting like that because they do care about you."

Norway wasn't sure whether he believed that. The tears that he had been trying to hold back since the conversation started at last began to fall, and he could no longer hold them back. Even as he let the tears start flowing, he hated himself for being so weak. This time though, the tears, did not overwhelm him like they had back in the park, and he remained aware that Finland was still holding his hand. At last, he got his emotions back under control, and used his free hand to wipe the last of the tears away. "I'm sorry," he whispered, feeling that he needed to apologize for his weakness.

"You don't need to apologize," Finland said, as he squeezed Norway's hand. "And just remember, that we'll all be here for you if you need to talk. We will do whatever is necessary to help you deal with that you father did."

For the first time in a long time, Norway really did feel a little better. Just being able to believe that family might really care about him after all, helped.

After all that had happened the day before, the actually meeting was uneventful. It was just the usual chaotic meeting. And then, the day after that, it was time for everyone to return to their own homes.

Although they all different flights, the Nordics had all gone to the airport together. They had stayed together during the meeting the day before, and had even arrived together. As far as the rest of the world could tell, whatever disagreement they had been having had been resolved. In truth, nothing had really been resolved, but a temporary truce had been reached, once Denmark and Sweden had been informed of the effect that their arguments were having on Norway.

One thing that had changed was the fact the rest of the family now had Norway's new phone number, and they would actually be able to call him during the next month. But they all knew that they probably would not see him again until the next month's World Meeting. They could only hope that he would be okay until then.

* * *

**Author's Note: **The length of this chapter got a little out of hand. I didn't mean for it to be so long, but I wanted to at least try to start getting some stuff resolved, and scenes kept needing to be added. The next chapter will probably skip ahead to May's world meeting. And of course, there's going to be something else happening that month as well.


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note: **This chapter took a slightly different direction than what I originally had planned, but it's necessary to get to where I want to go with this story. Despite what I said a few chapters ago, a couple of the human characters are back in this chapter. Unfortunately, Birger is still taking his responsibility a little too seriously. As far as warnings go, any previously mentioned warnings may still apply, but I don't think there are any new ones for this chapter.

Chapter Twelve

Birger was waiting for him right outside the airport. During the flight, Norway had allowed himself to hope that maybe he would finally be allowed to be on his own. But apparently Birger still felt he needed constant supervision.

"You look tired, Haldor," was the first thing Birger said to him. "I knew letting you go to the meeting was a bad idea."

"I'm alright," Norway said. "It was just a long flight back, and I'm a little tired from that." He didn't want Birger to decide that he shouldn't be allowed to attend any more meetings. And he didn't want to have to deal with the man that he now knew had spent months lying to him.

Birger studied him closely. "Just in case, I'm going to call the doctor. We need to make sure all this traveling hasn't been too much for you to handle."

Norway just wanted to go back to his own house, and not have to spend any more time with Birger. But he had to stay on good terms with his government, which meant that as long as Birger was officially appointed to watch him, Norway had no choice in the matter. And so, he let himself be taken back to Birger's house, where he was immediately sent to lie down. After more than two months, Norway was getting tired of being treated like an invalid–or a child.

Once he was alone in his room, he did not lie down as he had been told to. Instead, he picked up one of the few books in the room and sat down in the chair. He was still reading a couple of hours later when Birger came to tell him dinner was ready. Although Birger did not comment on his disobedience, Norway could sense the man's disapproval.

* * *

The doctor's appointment the next morning went about the same as usual. Norway was asked several times if he had been eating and sleeping. He was weighed, and the doctor always noted if his weight had changed since his last examination. And his wrist was examined to make sure it was still healing properly.

"You need to make sure you get enough to eat," the doctor said, once the exam had been concluded. "You've lost a little weight since the last time I saw you. Are you sure you've been eating?"

"Yes," Norway answered, not entirely truthfully. He hadn't eaten while he was traveling to the meeting. The day before the meeting, he'd had breakfast with his family, but had then slept through lunch time. Later that evening, he had been forced to have at least a light supper. He had eaten three meals the day of the meeting, but once again hadn't eaten while traveling home.

The doctor seemed to suspect he wasn't being entirely truthful. "Haldor, you can't keep doing this to yourself. A lot of people are worried about you."

That second sentence surprised Norway a little. He was used to Birger's comments about how he was too important to lose. In fact, he had heard that so much that he no longer expected to hear anything different from one of his people. He only mattered to them because of what he represented. "You're only saying that because of what I am," he said at least.

"No, because that is not all you are. You are also a person." For a few moments, the doctor seemed to be thinking. Then he asked, "Did you see your family at the meeting you went to?"

Norway wasn't sure why he was being asked that. He didn't know if admitting how much time he had spent with his family would get him in trouble, so he remained silent.

"Haldor, Birger is the only one who thinks that you shouldn't be allowed to see your family. I thought his decision to send them away was wrong, especially when it was obvious how much they care about you."

Norway still didn't say anything. He had come to believe his family was telling the truth about why they had left, but having one of his people confirm it really made it true. It also left him unsure of what to say.

For several moments, a heavy silence fell. Eventually, though, the doctor was the one to break to the silence. "Haldor, a couple of months ago, when you were first brought to the hospital, I didn't even know your kind existed. I've had to make guesses about the best way to treat you, and I know the others involved in your care have been doing the same thing. But none of us know _you_; none of us know what you really need. I had hoped that your family might be able to do what none of us can, but Birger remains convinced that you should have no contact with them." For a few moments, he fell silent and studied Norway intently. Eventually, though, he broke the silence to ask a question. "Haldor, what do you need?"

Norway hadn't expected to be asked that. In the last several months, he had gotten used to having people treat him like what he wanted didn't matter. He didn't like it, but living with Birger had forced him to get used to it. So, although he knew what he wanted to say, he was not able to actually bring himself to answer.

After several moments of silence, the doctor seemed to realize that Norway wasn't going to answer him, so he changed the subject. "I'm going to clear you to go into work for the rest of the day," he said, making a note on the paper in front of him. "And I will see you in a couple of days."

* * *

After spending the afternoon at work, Norway was forced once again to return to Birger's house. And immediately something happened that made him even more displeased about having to stay with Birger.

"Haldor, let me see your phone," Birger commanded almost right after they had walked in the door.

Norway hesitated a moment before he handed Birger his cell phone. That phone was the only means he had of talking to his family, and he did not want to give it up.

Birger pushed several buttons on the phone, but Norway couldn't actually see what he was doing. After a few minutes, Birger turned the phone off but made no move to return it. Instead he said, "Haldor, I told you not to talk to your family anymore than the meeting required. I doubt the meeting required a fifteen minute phone call the day before."

If he had been prepared for the question, Norway would have made up something about needing to discuss some policy before the meeting. But he had forgotten that the call he had made to ask for help before succumbing to that flashback would be in the call logs of his phone. He also hadn't expected Birger to go so far as to actually look at his phone like that.

Birger didn't give him a chance to reply anyway. Instead, he locked the phone away in a drawer. "You can have this back for work tomorrow," he said. "Now, you should probably go get some rest. I will call you when it is time for dinner."

* * *

Although Birger allowed Norway to have his phone back every morning, he always took it back in the evening. Every day, as soon as they entered the house, Birger would ask for the phone and check the call log, before locking the phone up overnight. Knowing that his phone would be checked kept Norway from contacting his family, and he did not know if they had tried to call him. He suspected that Birger would probably erase any messages before returning the phone.

Norway continued to have nightmares at least a couple times a week. Whenever that happened, he would spend the rest of the night sitting in the chair, with every light in the room turned on.

His physical recovery stalled. Every day it got more difficult for Norway to eat enough. He wanted to ask Birger why he had lied, but he wasn't supposed to question someone from his government. So every time he was around Birger, Norway had to force the questions back down, until he felt as if he might choke on them. At every meal, he managed to force himself to eat a few bites, but every day it got harder.

Norway began to spend most of the time he was at the house in his room. He only came out when it was time to eat.

His weight began to go down again, and the doctor questioned him about it at every appointment. He never answered though.

Sometimes, when he was at work, Norway thought about going to someone else from his government and asking if he could stop having to stay with Birger. But he was always stopped by the question of whether or not he could trust them. He did not know if anyone else had been involved in the lies.

As the days passed, he became more and more tempted to just go ahead and call his family during the hours that he spent at work. Sometimes, he even went so far as to enter one of the numbers, but the thought of what might happen if Birger found out, kept him from ever going through with the call.

After the first couple of weeks, the only thing that allowed Norway to keep going was the knowledge that at the beginning of May he would get another respite. After the decision from the previous month, he knew that Birger could not attempt to keep him from attending a world meeting again. So, he only had to wait that long, and he would be able to get away. He tried not to think about the fact that even then, he would still have to return.

* * *

Meanwhile, the rest of the family had begun to suspect how closely Birger was controlling Norway. They continued to take turns calling Norway, and leaving messages on his phone, even though he never called back. Based on what little they knew, they suspected that Norway was probably not getting any of the messages. However, each evening, one of them would call him and leave a message on his voice mail, hoping that he might actually get it.

They also tried to come up with other ways of contacting him. Letters had not worked, and the phone did not appear to be working either. The best idea they could come up with was arranging some pretext to go see him on official business, but unfortunately no official business came up. Then, they had considered just going there, but they had been sent away, and it seemed best to avoid causing an international incident. Even then, the fact that they could not just go to him had been difficult for some members of the family to accept. But, they all just kept reminding themselves that they would see him in May.

* * *

And so April passed, and eventually it was time for May's world meeting. Unlike April's meeting, this one was being hosted in a country where Norway had an embassy. So, just like in March, Birger had arranged for him to stay with someone from the embassy. Norway had hoped to be able to stay where all the others did, in the hope of having the freedom to actually talk to his family again, but he did not want to risk Birger forbidding him from attending the meeting at all.

That meant, though, that it was not until the day of the meeting that Norway got the chance to see any of the other nations. He also did not arrive at the meeting until right before it started, once again due to Birger's arrangements.

Due to how late he had arrived, Norway had not gotten a chance to speak to his family before the meeting. So, once the meeting descended in chaos, he let himself think about what he needed to do. He knew that once it was time for the meeting to break for lunch, his family would want him to go to lunch with them. However, he also knew that the person he was staying with would be waiting outside for him. As difficult as it had been during the past several months, Norway had done very little to go against the increasingly restrictive rules about his contact with other nations. He had spent time with his family during the previous month's meeting, but that had only worked because no one had been there to stop him. This time, he knew that if he did not show up when he was supposed to, Birger would find out and would find a way to place even more restrictions on him. Despite that, though, Norway knew that he wanted the chance to talk to his family.

The other Nordics had noticed almost immediately that Norway's physical condition seemed to have deteriorated in the past month. Although he still looked better than he had in January, he had lost a lot of the weight that he had managed to gain back, and the dark circles under his eyes had returned. Emotionally, he seemed close to normal at least; he no longer showed whatever it was that had seemed off about him two months before. As they continued to observe him during the meeting, they all know that this time, they could not let Norway leave again. There was more going on than they had previously suspected.

The morning dragged on, as most of the world argued over various things that really had nothing to do with whatever the meeting was supposed to be about. Eventually, though, it was time to break for lunch. Gradually, the meeting room started to empty out.

"Are you coming to lunch with us this time?" Finland asked. He remembered that Norway had avoided being around them in March. Even with the issues that had been resolved the previous month, some of the others had suspected that something else had been going on March.

For a moment, Norway looked towards the door, and did not answer the question. Even though he had spent the morning thinking about it, he was still not sure what choice to make. In March, he had lied and told them that he had something he needed to do, rather than admitting that he had been forbidden to associate with them (and told that they didn't care anyway). At last, though, he managed to admit the truth. "I don't think I can. I have someone waiting for me outside."

For a few moments, none of them spoke. They could all see that Norway's physical condition had deteriorated noticeably. None of them wanted to take the risk of worsening his emotional condition. By this time, everyone else had left the room, leaving the five of them alone together.

"Norja, if you go meet this person, will you actually eat lunch?" Finland asked. Even without an audience that was the closest he would come to voicing his suspicions that Norway had stopped eating again.

Norway did not answer immediately. He knew that what he was doing to himself was wrong, but he couldn't stop. He looked away, refusing to look at his family as he whispered, "No."

"What about if you come with us?" Finland asked. He did not comment on what Norway had admitted, but he knew it would have to addressed later.

"I don't know," Norway answered. "I don't really feel like eating." He wanted to tell his family what had happened over the last month, but the words wouldn't come. He still did not look at his family.

The others all exchanged concerned looks, knowing that they needed to intervene soon. At the same time though, they still had to be careful how they acted around Norway.

"Do you want to come with us?"

For the first time since the questioning had started, Norway looked at his family. He could see the concern they felt for him. "Yes, but I can't." He looked towards the door, knowing he was already late; he would be in enough trouble later without doing something that had been explicitly forbidden.

The other four wanted to press the issue further, but at the same time, they didn't want to make Norway uncomfortable or force him into anything.

"Nor, you have to come with us. We never get to see you anymore!" Well, apparently one member of the family didn't share those misgivings.

Norway looked back towards his family, and then towards the door again. He showed no sign of what he was thinking, but after a couple of moments, he looked at them. "Alright," he said. After all, he did want to go with them, and he was going to be in trouble anyway.

* * *

Norway did not get in as much trouble as he had expected to, at least not immediately. The man he was staying with accepted his excuse about having had to meet with some other nations during the lunch break, and did not even question him about what other nations he had met with. However, he knew that Birger had been informed, and Birger _would_ question him.

It had been worth it, though, just for the chance to be with his family. They hadn't really discussed anything related to what was going on at lunch, being careful to keep the conversation on neutral topics. However, that had meant that things had been almost normal for close to an hour, before it had been time to return to the meeting for the afternoon.

He had even managed to eat something, although only a very small amount. His irregular eating habits over the last several months had left him with very little appetite, but it had been easier to eat when he didn't feel like he was being choked by questions that he couldn't ask. It had been so much easier to be with his family than it was to be around Birger.

Norway tried not to think about the fact that now that the meeting was over, he would have to return home (or rather to Birger's house) the next day. He would not get to see his family again until the beginning of June, and that was only if Birger allowed him to attend June's meeting. And, he knew there was no guarantee of that, after he had done something that had been forbidden.

* * *

"We have to get Nor out of there! Whatever they're doing to him is making him worse." Denmark said.

The other four Nordics had returned to the hotel where they were staying, once the meeting had ended for that month. They had spent the past half hour discussing the situation, and were no closer to a solution than they had been when they started. They all knew that they needed to intervene before it was too late. However, they could not agree on what exactly needed to be done.

"'nd 'f we j'st go w'th't being given permission, w'll make th'ngs worse."

It was obvious, after all, that at least one person from Norway's government didn't trust them. They had no way of knowing just how widespread that opinion was. They also did not know for sure how closely Norway was being watched, but if what they learned that day was any indication, they had little chance of being able to see him without official permission. It also seemed like unless something unexpected happened, they had very little chance of getting official permission to see Norway.

Denmark had pretty much decided that they shouldn't even bother with trying to get official permission. His idea of what to do seemed to be to just go in and take Norway back with them. The others were trying to come up with a more moderate approach, but none of them had any ideas yet, and the discussion was on the verge of developing into another fight between Denmark and Sweden.

Iceland had moved to the edge of the room, once the conversation had begun to go that direction. He didn't have any more ideas than the other three did, and he still didn't know if his existence was upsetting to Norway. With everything else that had happened, they had never gotten a chance to talk about the revelation from the previous summer. He could see just as clearly as the rest of the family could that the person that Norway was staying with wasn't helping, but he didn't want to make things worse.

Finland had been about to intervene to try to stop the developing argument a few times, but hadn't actually done so yet. If this argument took the same turn some of the other recent ones had, he would interject. At the moment, his attention was divided between listening to them, and keeping an eye on Iceland. He suspected that Iceland might be having a more difficult time dealing with his true heritage than the rest of the family had really realized. Ever since that last day of Scandia's visit, the family had been focused on Norway–they had either been searching for him, or trying to help him recover. None of them had really thought about the fact that Iceland had also been affected by the revelation. He made a mental note to talk to Iceland soon, before that situation got any worse.

Denmark and Sweden were still arguing about whether or it was a good idea to force Norway's government to let them see him. Since neither one was willing to consider what the other one said, they were still nowhere near a solution.

"I think that we should wait a couple of weeks, and then go try to see Norja," Finland said, once a break in the argument allowed him to speak. The idea had just come to him while he had been debating whether to stop the argument before it escalated further. "In just over two weeks, we will have an excuse to contact him that his government might actually accept."

It was the one thing that none of them had thought of, but once it had been pointed out, it was obvious. It was currently the evening of May 1st. In just over two weeks, it would be Norway's birthday. Surely, then, Norway's government would allow them to at least speak to him.

* * *

**Closing notes:**

First of all I would like to thank everyone who reviewed the previous chapter. I know a couple of people mentioned being glad to see some recovery started to happen in the previous chapter, and I hope they're not too disappointed by the setback in this chapter. In addition to that, I have a couple of things I want to explain.

I actually meant to explain about the phone last chapter, but I was in a rush to get the chapter out, and I think I forgot to add that note. Each of the nations is given a cell phone, usually by their government, but sometimes by another agency. They are supposed to use this phone to keep in touch with other nations, for any kind of business or whatever, and it is also how their government can contact them in emergencies. Every nation is supposed to have a phone number for any other nation, so Birger actually broke a rule when he didn't actually make sure that any other nations had Norway's phone number after the old phone was disconnected.

Another thing that I want to clarify, is exactly what I envision Birger's job to be. I actually got part of this idea from something I read in another story, but I thought it made sense. Basically, every country's government has an office or department that is supposed to deal with any issues relating to the personification of their country. Birger works for that department, and has been assigned to make sure that Norway is kept safe until he has recovered. And if the way Birger has been handling the assignment is anything to go by, he needs to switch departments, because he has a little trouble remembering that the personifications are actually people.

I have a pretty good plan in mind for the next chapter, and I'm hoping to start working on it today, but I just started back to school a week ago, and that's been eating up a lot of my writing time. I will try to update at least one a month, though.


	13. Chapter 13

I got this out a little later in the day than I'd planned, but since my afternoon class was cancelled today, I still managed to get it up on time. I don't think there are any specific new warnings for this chapter, but any previously mentioned warnings can still apply. Also, I am going to be referencing something in this chapter that was mentioned a couple of times in the first couple chapters, but never really elaborated on. I'll talk more about that at the end of the chapter, though.

Chapter Thirteen

Even knowing that he would get in trouble hadn't prepared Norway for the extent of Birger's disapproval. As soon as he got back from the meeting, Birger immediately began questioning him about who he had been with during the lunch break.

Norway remained silent during the questioning. He knew Birger suspected he had been with his family, so he really didn't see any point in answering. Over the past month, he had started talking to Birger as little as possible.

"If you do something like this again, Haldor, I will forbid you to attend the meetings," Birger said at last. "I've told you before that we can't afford to lose you. You're too important. We can't take the chance that your family might take advantage of your condition."

So it seemed as if they were back to that argument, as usual. Birger seemed convinced that Norway's family was just waiting for the chance to take advantage of him. It had gotten easier for Norway to hear that, now that he knew his family cared about him. But he still didn't like being told that, or being told that he was only important because of what he was.

"I needed to talk to them," Norway said at last. After all, he had claimed he'd been discussing something related to the meeting, which meant there shouldn't be much harm in Birger knowing who he had talked to. Plus, he was getting tired of following Birger's rules all the time.

"Haldor, I have already made it clear that I am aware that nothing really gets done at the meetings. Therefore, you could not have had anything you needed to talk to your family about. And truthfully, you shouldn't have been allowed to attend the meeting at all."

Every time he got told something like that, it got harder for Norway to suppress any visible signs of how annoyed he was at hearing the same thing over and over. The first few months, it had been easier. He hadn't felt anything then, so there had been nothing to conceal. Now, though, he couldn't even process all the things he felt and it was getting difficult to keep up his emotionless mask. So, he once again forced himself to keep silent.

Birger didn't seem to be aware of the effect that he was having on Norway, or if he was aware, then he didn't seem to care. Instead, he merely kept talking about all the reasons why Norway shouldn't be allowed to attend the World Meetings at all. "For one thing, these meetings don't represent any official organization, and certainly not one that we are part of. Also, you're not strong enough yet to be doing all this traveling. You should have recovered more than you have, so I don't think letting you attend the meetings is good for you. We can't afford to take the risk that someone might take advantage of your condition."

That was probably the worst part of all–Birger's constantly stated belief that any other nation was just waiting to take advantage of Norway. He didn't even want to think what might happen if Birger ever learned his secret. For that matter, he didn't want anyone outside his family to find out. Not wanting to here anymore of Birger's comments that evening, Norway got up and walked out of the room. He stayed in his room until he was called to come out and eat dinner.

* * *

And so the days passed. Norway continued to avoid Birger when he could, but there were limits to how much avoidance was possible. He began to count down the days until June's world meeting, even though there was no guarantee he would be allowed to attend.

One morning, close to a week after he had returned from the meeting, Norway woke up early due to another nightmare. Although the details of the nightmare could not be recalled, Norway knew that this one hadn't been about Scandia. It had been about something a little more recent–the Occupation.

Remembering what the days date was, Norway realized why he had dreamed about that. It was May 8th-Liberation Day. He had been trying to push those memories out of his mind, lately. Dealing with everything that Scandia's visit had brought to surface was bad enough, without the memory of the other time one of his secrets had almost been revealed. If it hadn't been for the conditions during the Occupation–

Not wanting to think about that, he got up and turned on the light. Then he picked up a book and tried, rather unsuccessfully, to keep himself distracted.

* * *

It was the next day that Norway had his doctor's weekly appointment. The doctor was growing increasingly concerned about him, as his physical condition showed no signs of improvement. He was still losing weight, and he had never fully gotten back to a healthy weight before relapsing.

About the only thing that the doctor found encouraging was the fact that there had been a slight improvement to Norway's emotional state. It was barely noticeable, since Norway kept most of his emotions hidden, but it was there.

Even with that improvement, the physical issues were still a major cause for concern. But every attempt that anyone made to find out what was bothering Norway was met with no response. Even after all these months, none of the humans involved knew how Norway had ended up in that condition. They knew only that it had not been due to a national issue. Both the previous incident and the current relapse were caused by personal issues.

And so, once again, at the end of the appointment, the doctor made another attempt to get information from Norway.

"Haldor, when was the last time you ate something?"

As usually happened when he was pressed for any kind of information, Norway refused to answer.

"If you lose much more weight, I will have no choice but to have you readmitted to the hospital, on the grounds that you are a danger to yourself." He didn't really expect that statement to make much of a difference, but he was prepared to follow through on it–if for no other reason that the fact that it might be the only get Norway away from the person that the doctor suspected might be the reason for this relapse. There was something about Birger's treatment of Norway that just didn't seem quite right. However, without any proof that really was the problem, there was nothing he could do about his suspicions.

"You don't need to do that. I know what I'm doing, and I have this under control." This was the first time that Norway had actually given an answer when he was talked to about this. But the answer wasn't very encouraging.

"Haldor, if you were human, you probably would have died back in January. As it was, for that first day, we weren't sure if you would survive. We don't want to take any more chances with your health." By now, he really was at a loss for how to help Norway, but he knew that something would have to be done, and soon. Whatever was causing Norway's condition to worsen again could not be allowed to continue.

* * *

Over the next several days, Norway grew more and more tired of the way Birger treated him. He began to increasingly long for a way out, but he could not think of one. The idea of just leaving was more tempting with every day.

With everything that had been going on, Norway had almost forgotten that it was getting close to his birthday. Well, he hadn't so much forgotten as just not thought about it. Plus, he couldn't forget the fact that it would also be the anniversary of his mother's death, and he still remembering Scandia telling him that he should have died with his mother.

It wasn't until the evening before his birthday that he finally had a reason to hope that he might get the break he longed for. He noticed after work that day that Birger seemed noticeably displeased about something. He found out what soon after they got back to the house.

"Haldor, I have been ordered to let you be on your own tomorrow. I'm not sure this is a good idea, since I'm not sure you're strong enough. And I would recommend that you be careful not to do anything you're not strong enough for. And you are still to return here tomorrow night." It was very clear that Birger was displeased at having to allow Norway even that much freedom.

It was more than Norway had let himself hope for. Although he would still have to come back in the evening, the prospect of a day away from Birger was a relief. He hadn't been sure if he could manage to wait until the next World Meeting.

That night, he managed to force himself to eat more than just a few bites of his dinner. The thought of a free day brought enough relief for that at least.

* * *

What little sleep Norway was able to get that night was restless, but thankfully free from nightmares. He never slept deeply enough for the nightmares to come. By some unconscious effort, he always managed to wake up before he could reach the point at which the dreams could come. He knew that after everything that had happened in the last several months, that Scandia would not let the day pass without finding a way to remind him of what else it was the anniversary of.

Despite not having gotten the best night's sleep, Norway was up early. Since his true nature was known to so few people, he had no official responsibilities that day. Most years, he spent at least part of the day with his family, but he knew that was out of the question this year. They were still forbidden to visit him. Somewhere deep inside, though, he was hoping to hear from them.

Even though he had no actual plans, or any real hope of seeing his family, Norway was determined to at least get as much as he could out of this one day of freedom. He did not know when Birger would give him another, and sometimes he wondered how much longer he could stand the situation. By this point, the only thing that was making it possible for Norway to continue to tolerate the situation was the fact that Birger worked for his government and was apparently following orders. All of the nations had been warned at some point in their lives of dire consequences if they went against their government. Many of them doubted the truth of those warnings, but still, most nations were careful not to openly defy their government, however horrible their governments orders might be.

Of course, there was a little more to it than all the vague warnings about defying someone from the government. Norway was afraid of what he might reveal if he lost any of the control he tried to keep in place whenever he was around any of his people. He could not afford to let any humans know his secret, and he could not bear the see the shame in the eyes of his people if they learned of how weak he had been.

Norway had hoped to sneak out of the house before having to deal with Birger, but was unsuccessful. Under Birger's orders, he had to attempt for force down a few bites of breakfast, while listening to remainders about not overdoing it, as well as all the reasons why he could not be given his phone for the day.

Finally, though, he was allowed to leave. This was the first time since January that he had been allowed to be outside alone, even in his own capital. Ever since he had been discharged from the hospital, when he had not been at meetings, he had only been allowed out of Birger's house to go to work or to doctor's appointments. And even then, Birger had always either accompanied him, or made sure he was accompanied by someone. He had even been watched that closely during two of the three world meetings he had been allowed to attend.

For the first few moments, he just enjoyed actually being outside, and not having any place that he needed to go. Giving the situation he had been in for the last few months, this chance was one of the best birthday presents he could have been given.

Norway quickly left the area near Birger's house, wanting to get some distance before Birger could find a way to have him watched. After the past few months, he really wouldn't be surprised if that happened.

At first, he kept his guard up, partially because of the worry that he would still be watched, and partially because he could not get rid of the fear that Scandia would somehow find a way to remind him of what else this day represented. Gradually, though, he began to relax. After all, he was surrounded by his people, so he had no reason to be frightened that Scandia might do something. Plus, during the day, he was safe from his father. It was only at night, while he slept, that Scandia could get to him. (At least until that next visit, but Norway was determined not to think about that. He could not be certain that Scandia would ever try to visit again, after all.)

Norway had actually let his guard down enough that he did not notice that anyone was approaching him until he was pulled into an embrace. When that happened, the fears he had been trying to suppress returned, and only the tight control that he always tried to keep on his emotions kept him from crying out. It wasn't enough to keep him from trying to get away, though.

"Nor, it's alright. It's just us," a familiar voice said from behind him.

Norway felt relief sweep over him when he recognized Denmark's voice. However, he was determined to show no sign of that. Instead, he merely said, "I should have realized, just by the way you completely lack the ability to keep your hands to yourself. And don't call me that when there are people around." There was a good chance that even if their nation names were used in public, any humans that overheard would just rationalize the country names as being used as nicknames. However, with everything else that had been going on lately, he didn't want to take any chances with that. "And let go of me."

Once he had been released, Norway was able to look around and see that his whole family was there. He hadn't even allowed himself to hope to see them before the next meeting, even once he had found out he would have a day of freedom. Then, the earlier worry that Birger might still find a way to have him watched returned, and he quickly looked around to see if anyone seemed to be watching them. No one was.

"We have permission to see you today because of your birthday," Finland said, having noticed that.

* * *

Later that day, they all went back to Norway's house. He had not really spent any time there since early January. Occasionally, he was allowed to go there in order to get items to take back to Birger's house, but he was always accompanied by Birger. Despite the fact that he had hardly been there for several months, though, the house did not seem to have been abandoned. Instead, it appeared as if someone, or something, had actually been keeping the place looking like he could return at any moment.

The other four Nordics had all kept a close eye on Norway that morning. After his initial moment of fear, Norway seemed to be acting almost normal. However, they could see that he seemed to have lost more weight just in the two weeks since the meeting. That made them worried that Norway may be hiding something behind the attempt to normality.

"How did you get permission to come here?" Norway asked, once they were all settled in his living room. He couldn't believe that Birger would have allowed the others to come after going to such measures to keep him from having any contact with them.

"We went to someone else from the department. No one else seemed to know anything about the fact that we weren't allowed to see you."

For a few moments, silence fell. Norway knew that he shouldn't be surprised that Birger had told another lie. That much at least was easy to deal with. Less easy to deal with was the knowledge that he could have gone to someone else from his government this whole time. And he wondered why Birger seemed so determined to keep him isolated. He almost wondered if Birger had some other motive for keeping him away from his family–something other than the claim to want to protect him.

As he remembered how annoyed Birger had seemed the previous evening, Norway realized that Birger had probably know the others were coming that day. That was probably the real reason for the disapproval. He wondered if that was also why Birger hadn't allowed him to have his phone for the day.

"I didn't think you'd really be allowed to visit," he said, at last. "Birger gave me permission to spend the day without him, but he didn't say anything about the fact that you were coming."

"We wouldn't miss your birthday, Nor."

At first, it seemed as though Norway was about to say something in response to that, but in the end, he remained silent. His face wore its usual lack of expression, giving no indication of what he might have been thinking. He had given enough away, though for the others to suspect that something about that statement had upset him.

"Birger might not have actually known we were coming," Finland said, giving an answer to the question that Norway hadn't actually asked. "The person we spoke to just said he would arrange for you to be somewhere that we could meet you without Birger interfering."

"Whatever Birger knew, he didn't approve of it." Norway really had no idea why Birger was so against allowing him any contact with his family. As he still had no memory of what had happened at the hospital, he suspected that Birger's actions were because he had never answered any of the questions he was asked. Of course, he couldn't answer the one question everyone had kept asking him–he couldn't explain who had hurt him when no one would believe him.

After that, the conversation changed to other topics–topics which were less difficult to talk about. And, the day passed, until it was evening. The others had stayed long enough to make sure that Norway actually ate something for dinner, as they were all concerned by how much weight he had lost again. Although none of them wanted to say it out loud, they were all afraid that Norway might get sick again, the way he had been in the winter. And, they were concerned by how little he did eat. The knowledge that his day of freedom was almost over and he was about to have to return to Birger's house had too much of an effect on Norway. He had resolved though, that the next time he went into work, he would talk to someone else from his government, and at least find out if there was someone else he could stay with.

The others, meanwhile, had resolved a way to make sure that they did not lose contact with Norway this time. They did not want to take the chance of losing him completely.

* * *

_The darkness was so familiar to Norway, now. But, like always, he knew that there was something dangerous out there in the darkness. There was nothing any there that he could orient himself by, and no place to hide from what he knew would come. So, he merely sat on the ground, with his knees drawn up to his chest, and his arms wrapped around his knees, trying to make himself as small as possible. He hoped that for once he would be overlooked in the seemingly endless darkness._

_ But, as Norway had known would happen, he soon felt someone grab onto his arm, and pull him to his feet. There was no gentleness to the motion, and the grip on his arm was too tight. As the darkness began to lift slightly, he could just make out the figure of his father standing in front of him. Once he had ascertained what he already know, he kept his eyes focused on the ground, not wanting to have to look at Scandia._

_ "You didn't think I would let this day pass without visiting," Scandia said. His grip on Norway's arm was still painfully tight, but beyond that he had made no move yet to harm his son._

_ Norway still kept his eyes averted, and did not reply._

_ With his free hand, Scandia reached out and gripped Norway's chin, forcing his head up. _

"_Look at me when I'm talking to you. These visits take some effort after all. The least you could do is be polite."_

_ "I didn't ask you to come here," Norway said, quietly. He wanted to be able to stand up to his father, but any attempts he had made always ended in some kind of punishment. Despite everything that had happened in his life since then, he still could only rarely find the strength to defy his father. The only big act of defiance that he had ever managed was his decision to keep his child–the child who would not even look at him anymore._

_ His comment earned him a slap, but at least he was no longer being held in such a way that he was forced to look at his father. And, that slap had hurt a lot less than some of the past ones had. He could be grateful that at least Scandia had to avoid doing anything that would leave a mark._

_ "You should have realized by now that what you want doesn't really matter here," Scandia commented. "Not that it ever did, of course, but at least back then you had some use." With his free hand, Scandia reached up and caressed Norway's face, in a seemingly intimate gesture. "Until you turned out to be a little freak." There was obvious note of contempt in Scandia's voice as he spoke that final sentence. "That pretty much ended any use that you ever had."_

_ Norway wanted nothing more at that moment than to get away from his father. But he knew from experience that there would be no escape until Scandia let him go. For so many years, when he was a child, he had longed for an escape. Whenever his older brothers had been around, Norway had sometimes hoped that they would notice what Scandia was doing, and take him away. But until the previous summer, Scandia had always been extra careful when they were around. That meant that instead of the longed for escape, all Norway had ever gotten was comments from his brothers about how he was Scandia's favorite. They had made comments like that right up until they learned the truth._

_ Scandia was still talking. "Despite what they might claim, your brothers must have also known that that was all you were good for. They did both marry you, after all. I guess it's just luck that they never had reason to know what a little freak you really are. Your mother and I should have stopped with two children. Then, she wouldn't have died, and you wouldn't have been around to nearly destroy our whole family. The least you could have done was die with her, since you had to be born."_

_ As hard as he tried to not listen to Scandia's words, Norway still heard them. That was the one thing that he knew he would never really be able to find out the truth about. He knew that he had caused his mother's death, but sometimes he wished he could know whether her feelings would have been the same as Scandia's. Would she have hated him as well, or had she been glad that he had survived?_

_ Scandia continued to say things along those lines, and Norway did not attempt to stop him. He knew that the worst part would come after Scandia was done talking._

* * *

Shortly after midnight, the silence that filled Birger's house was shattered by a cry. Shortly after the cry sounded, Birger got up and went to Norway's bedroom, knowing that was where the scream had to have come from. He had known it had been a bad idea to allow Norway to see his family, and had just been waiting for the inevitable fallout.

The bedroom door was closed, but not locked. (Birger had forbidden Norway to look the bedroom door, just as a precaution. After all, there really was no other explanation for the injury that had led to the hospitalization in January other than that it was the result of a failed suicide attempt. No one seriously believed Norway's claim that the injury had not been self-inflicted.)

Another cry sounded, as Birger opened the door, but once he entered the room, he found that Norway still seemed to be sleeping, although apparently caught in the grip of a nightmare. Although he had known that Norway had nightmares somewhat frequently, this was the first time that Birger had actually witnessed one of the nightmares. At first, he wasn't sure what to do, especially since Norway was not awake yet. After a few moments, though, he approached the bed.

"Haldor, wake up. You're safe here," he said. He didn't really know if it would work, but he had to something. It was his responsibility to make sure that Norway was safe, after all.

There was no sign that Norway had heard him, and he still appeared to be lost in the nightmare. Norway had stopped crying out, but he seemed to be struggling against an unseen foe. His face was streaked with tears, and beads of sweat glistened on his forehead.

"Haldor!"

This time there was a reaction. Norway suddenly lay still, and his eyes opened. His eyes remained glazed, though; he seemed to be unaware of his surroundings, and there was a look of terror in his eyes. Even once his eyes focused on Birger, he gave no sign of recognition.

Birger was relieved that Norway was awake and no longer crying out. He took that as a sign that the situation had been resolved. "I know it was a bad idea to let you see your family yesterday," he said, as he turned to go. "They must have done something to upset you again."

When no reply came, Birger turned back to look at Norway, who still seemed unaware of his surroundings and who was breathing rapidly and obviously frightened.

"Haldor, calm down," Birger said, taking a few steps closer to the bed. "You're not strong enough to be this upset. You need to calm down. You just had a nightmare, probably because of something that your family did to upset you."

"Stop treating me like a child!" Although some fear still remained in Norway's expression, it had mostly been replaced by anger.

"It is my responsibility to make sure that you are kept safe until you recover," Birger told him. "And my job would be a lot easier of I didn't have to keep making sure you didn't have contact with people who obviously aren't good for you. Look at what happens after you get permission to spend a day with them. Now, if you're all right, I will leave you to get some rest. We can talk more when you're capable of responding rationally."

"I'm not a child. You don't need to talk to like I am." Norway had reached the end of his tolerance, and the after effects of the nightmare and that brief panic attack had destroyed the tight control he had been keeping over himself whenever he was around Birger. He started struggling to get up, despite the extent to which the nightmares and panic attacks always drained his strength. He was determined not to be a disadvantage for this conversation.

Birger reached out to put a hand on his shoulder, to force him to lie back down. "I can see how weak you are, right now. You need to rest."

Norway shook himself free of Birger's grip, and this time succeeded in rising, although he stayed near the bed, needing at least that much support. "Don't touch me again. I know the truth now. I know that you've lied to me since January. You said that my family didn't care, but instead, you never even gave them my phone number. And you've been erasing messages. They spoke to someone else from the department, and no one else has any idea what you've been doing."

"I don't know what lies your family has been making up about this situation, but I was doing what was best for you," Birger said. Although he was concerned about Norway's condition, his main worry at the moment was the fact that he could lose his job if Norway repeated these accusations to anyone else. Somehow, Birger had to convince Norway that he really had done the right thing. "You wouldn't tell anyone who hurt you, and they were only ones with the opportunity. And, even if they weren't responsible for that, there is still the issue of the number of years that two of them controlled you for. As weak as you are right now, I don't want to take the risk of you falling back under their control."

"They weren't the ones that hurt me," Norway replied. "Do you want to know what really happened? Do you want to hear about the fact that my father hated me for having been born? Do you want to hear about all things he did to me, for as far back as I can remember. Even, when I thought I was finally free of him, that he had finally left, I discovered that he could still show up my dreams. I never know when he might show up, and there is never anything I can do to stop him. He was the one that hurt me, but I couldn't tell anyone, because you don't even know that he existed. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

For a few moments, Birger just looked at Norway. He couldn't believe what he had just been told, and took it as more proof that Norway was not rational at the moment. At least it allowed him to not have to worry about his job. If Norway reported him to someone, Birger would just bring up the other things that Norway had just said, as proof that he wasn't in his right mind. Apparently, Norway's problems were worse than any of the ones involved in trying to help him suspected.

"Haldor, like I said before, you can continue this conversation when you're capable of giving me a rational answer. And, you don't need to worry about going into work tomorrow. I think you need to take some time off, until you're thinking rationally again." With that, Birger left the room, closing the door behind him.

* * *

The next morning, when Birger went to check on Norway, he found the room empty. The bed looked exactly the way it had after Norway had gotten up during their confrontation, showing that he had never gone back to bed. Birger did know exactly what possessions Norway had been keeping in that room, but he thought at least one change of clothes was missing. However, when he checked the drawer that he kept Norway's phone, and some other things locked up in, he found that the phone was still there, along with Norway's ID, for his human name. Birger also know that Norway could not have taken any money with him. Birger also noticed that the front door was unlocked.

Quickly, Birger went to the phone, to report what had happened. At the moment, he had bigger concerns than whether or not he could keep his job. Norway was apparently out there somewhere, with no identification, no (or very little money), and possibly not in his right mind. It was vital that he be found as soon as possible.

* * *

**Author's notes:**

First of all, I would like to thank everyone that reviewed the last chapter, and also comment on a couple of things that were brought up reviews. I had a couple of reviewers comment on the way that Norway was basically just taking the way that Birger was treating him. There were a couple of reasons for that, one of which I explained in this chapter. Norway was afraid that if he lost control, he would end up revealing his secret, which is what happened in this chapter. And that kind of backfired on him, because now Birger thinks that he's crazy. The other reason, which I couldn't find a good way to work an explanation for into the chapter, is that because he's trying to deal with all the memories that Scandia's visit brought to surface, Norway is essentially acting the same way around Birger that he would with Scandia. After all, the way Birger is treating him could be classified as abusive. (At least, the way that Birger isolated him from his family, and lied about their not having tried to contact him.)

Also, I had another reviewer ask me if Norway was having waking visions of Scandia, or if those were just nightmares. That has sort of been answered in this chapter, but will be elaborated on further in future chapters.

And now, I have a question for my readers. I am curious if anyone knows what happened during the Occupation (World War II) that could have led to one of Norway's secrets being revealed. I'm also curious if anyone caught any of the hints about this in the first two or three chapters.

I don't think there's anything in this chapter that I need to explain, although if anyone does have any questions, they want to ask about anything in this chapter (or previous chapters) I will do my best to answer them.

Before, I end this author's note, I would like to share something the fact that today (September 16th) is the anniversary of my two stories. A year ago today, after a particular stressful day, I went to the store and bought a notebook. I planned to use the notebook to plan for the fanfic that I was planning to write for NaNoWriMo in November, and as part of that planning, I fooled around with coming up with different family trees for all the nations. One of those family trees I came up with eventually became "Family Secrets", and that story was actually written last September and October. (It took me a few months to get the courage to post it.) I started writing "The Long Road" at the beginning of December, having put it off during the November, because I didn't think it could possibly reach 50,000 words. Ironically, the same chapter where I'm sharing this little bit of story history, is the same chapter where this story passes 50,000 words. I don't really expect anyone to care about how my stories came to be to written, but I thought I'd share this little tidbit, just in case some of my readers are interested in where this story came from.

In closing, I will state that I hope to have the next chapter up sometime in early October.


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note**: I know this isn't my usual time of day for posting, but the chapter was ready, and I had some time to kill, so I decided to go ahead and post it.

**Warning**: As always, any warnings from previous chapters can apply. This chapter does have a couple of specific mentions of the suicide attempt that occurred in an earlier chapter, as well as discussion and indications of eating disorders.

Chapter Fourteen

When Norway had left Birger's house, he hadn't had any idea where to go. He had abandoned his plan to talk to someone else from his government, in case they also thought that he was crazy.

He wasn't able to take anything other than a single change of clothes. His phone and ID were locked in a drawer, so he could not take them with him. He also didn't have any money he could take with him, although he planned to get some from his house. However, the amount that he could get from there was also somewhat limited.

Norway went to his house long enough to get a few more clothes, which he packed in a backpack. He also grabbed what money he had in the house, even though he wouldn't get far with such a small amount. For a few minutes, he considered taking the short cut through the dimension that was only accessible to the nations. But he was afraid that if he went there, it would be easier for Scandia to get to him.  
He regretted having been forced to leave his phone behind. If he had it, he would call someone from his family to ask for help, which he knew he needed. He didn't have enough money for any kind of transportation. But, he wasn't sure he could manage to walk the whole distance, and the closest house that he could get to that way was the one where they had spent most of Scandia's visit.

Once he had what he needed, Norway quickly left his house behind, knowing that he would be looked for there. He did not want to take even a small chance of being sent back to Birger's house, even if he doubted that he could actually make it to anywhere else.

* * *

Needless to say, the other government officials were not happy when Birger reported an edited version of what had happened the night before. Of course, Birger was careful to leave out anything that would paint him in an unfavorable light.

Of course, the head of the department was not fooled. "I was very disturbed to learn that you were forbidding Haldor to have any contact with his family. But I can at least understand that you were trying to protect him. Now, though, you could have actually put him danger by driving him to run away in the middle of the night. So, I need to know exactly what you said to him."

"I merely told him that we could talk in the morning, when he was capable of being rational. And I told him that he didn't have to come in to work today."

"You told him that he was crazy? And, because you were keeping his phone locked in a drawer, we have to no way to contact him. Haldor is out there somewhere with no phone and no identification. You had better hope that nothing happens to him. Now, I have some phone calls I need to make. And you want to start cleaning out your desk."

The first thing the head of the department had to do was inform some of the government higher-ups, all of whom were very concerned when they learned about what had happened. After that, he had to start making an actual attempt to find out where Norway might have gone. Eventually, they might need to organize an official search, but for now he started by calling his counterpart in some of the nearby countries. The department head still suspected that Norway would most likely go to a member of his family, so he called and asked that they be questioned to find out if they know anything. He was careful to stress that he only wanted to make sure that Haldor was safe, and had no problem with letting him stay with his family for a while if he wanted to. However, the calls failed to yield any information.

After that, he did have to start an official search in motion. However, he did not suspect it to have much success. If Norway did not want to be found, then he would be able to evade the search. And, the department head worried that after the things that Birger had said, that Norway would not trust anyone enough to want to be found.

He never entertained for a moment the idea that Norway might actually be irrational. Although there had been a lot of concern after the apparent suicide attempt in January, nothing had occurred after that incident that could possibly give the impression that Norway wasn't in his right mind.

What did concern him was Norway's physical condition, especially after he talked to the doctor. According to the doctor, Norway might not be strong enough to travel very far on foot, and the fact that he had no ID or money with him would severely limit his ability to get any other form of transportation. Not to mention the fact that the lack of money would make it difficult to get food, which Norway couldn't afford to do without right now, when he was already noticeably underweight.

All in all, the department head was very worried about Norway, and very angry at Birger for causing this situation in the first place. He just hoped that they could find Norway before it was too late.

* * *

When the other Nordics learned that Norway had run away again, they were all worried about him. They all remembered the condition he had ended up in the last time, and now he was almost in that condition to start with.

They also tried to look for him, but all they were able to learn was that he wasn't at his house, or the cabin he had gone to before, or any of the other places that they could think of to look for him. Although none of them wanted to say anything, they were all worried that something bad may have happened to him.

Once they ran out of places to look, there was nothing they could do except hope that Norway would come to them this time.

* * *

For a little over a week, Norway just tried to avoid any of the people searching for him. He knew that people from his government would be searching for him, probably in order to make him return to Birger's house. He didn't even want to think about what might happen if Birger's version of what had happened that last night was believed.

Even with the risk of being found, he did not go too far, as he was still trying to decide exactly where to go. As difficult as it was to admit, he was becoming increasingly aware that he needed help. He could not continue what he was currently doing forever, especially as the money he did have was about to run out. Practically the only reason he managed as long as he did, was because he still wasn't eating enough, which at least cut down on the amount of money he needed to spend on food. However, he was aware enough of the effect that was having on him to know that he could only do that for so long. He needed to go to someone.

Once he realized that, it was only a matter of deciding who to go to. Knowing that there was a good chance that he would be sent back to Birger, kept him from going to his government. His lack of identification and money, as well as his hesitance to enter the other dimension, kept him from going to his family.

Eventually, though, Norway remembered that there was one human who had seemed to actually be thinking of him as an actual person, and who had made several attempts to get him to admit that he was unhappy with Birger. And so, once Norway accepted the fact that needed to get help from someone, he made his way to the same building that he had been forced to go to at least once a week since January.

Of course, Norway hadn't expected to get quite the reaction he did. The frequent doctor appointments that he had been forced to go over the past several months meant that he was recognized by some of the staff, as soon as he entered the building. He was immediately ushered back into an examination room, and very soon after, the doctor entered the room.

"A lot of people have been worried about you, Haldor," was the first thing the doctor said to him. "Your government has had people searching for you since the morning after you ran away, and I think your family has been looking for you, as well." For a few moments, he studied Norway, as if trying to discern his condition by looking at him. "You look like you've lost even more weight. Have you been eating at all?"

Norway thought for a few moments, before answering. "A little. I–" He trailed off, not really sure how to finish that sentence. He hadn't really thought that anyone might actually be worried about him. Although he had expected a search, he had believed that his government would only look for him because of what he was. And, he hadn't even expected his family to be informed.

"I'm going to need to tell your government that you're here. They really have been worried about you."

"I . . . I can't go to them," Norway managed to admit at last. He didn't want to talk about why, though, didn't want to admit to anyone that Birger had accused him of being crazy.

Despite his attempt at protest, the call was quickly made, and a representative from his government arrived very soon after. To Norway's relief, it wasn't Birger who arrived. Instead, it was the head of the department, who seemed very concerned when he saw the condition that Norway was in.

"Haldor, you should have said something to me. I didn't know that Birger was keeping you away from your family, and I was very unhappy to hear about what he said to you."

The two humans then went on to talk about him like he wasn't right there in the room with them.

"How is he?" the government official asked.

"I don't think his condition is _much_ worse than it was last week, but I am concerned by the fact that he has lost so much weight in the last couple of months, especially since this is the second time within the last year. I think it would be a good idea for him to spend at least tonight in the hospital for observation."

The discussion continued on similar lines for a little while, and Norway was beginning to regret that he hadn't just stayed hidden somewhere. He might not be with Birger anymore, but he was still being treated like he couldn't make any decisions about things like where he wanted to stay. It didn't actually occur to him that the two humans might be genuinely concerned for his health, since he still thought he had that situation mostly under control. He was aware of the fact that he hadn't really been eating enough since the previous summer, but he didn't think about the fact that he was giving people a valid reason to be worried about him. He wasn't aware of how frail the amount of weight he had lost again made him look.

In the end, he had as little choice as any nation ever did when their government decided to impose something for their own safety. And so, following a thorough examination, he was admitted to the hospital overnight for observation. And he was left with the question of where he would be sent once he was allowed to leave the hospital.

* * *

Norway slept poorly that night, as he had most nights since his birthday. This night especially, he was afraid of having another nightmare where humans could witness it. And, he was worried that the night day, he might be forced to return to Birger's house, or that he might be sent somewhere worse. He knew that because of what he was his government would not allow him to stay alone until he was fully recovered. But because so much of what was bothering him were things that humans couldn't understand sometimes having to be around humans made everything worse.

Shortly after he had made a rather unsuccessful attempt to eat breakfast, the doctor came into his room to check on him, and came over to the bed to speak to him, looking obviously disturbed by the amount of uneaten food on the tray but not actually commenting on it. "Haldor, do you feel up to having some visitors?"

After all the time that he had spent in the hospital earlier that year, Norway was aware that it wasn't visiting hours yet. And, he wasn't in the mood for what he suspected would just be another round of questioning about what was going on with him. His government probably wanted him to talk to a psychologist again, which he really didn't want to do. So, he remained silent and refused to answer, hoping that his silence would be taken as an indication that he did not want to talk to anyone.

"Your family is here," the doctor told him, by way of explanation who the visitors were. "Someone from the government called them yesterday afternoon to let them know you were safe. They got here earlier this morning, and they want to see you as soon as possible. They've obviously been very worried about you."

Considering how the past several months had gone, Norway hadn't believed anyone from his government would call his family. He did want to see them, though. He had wanted to go to them, if he could have figured a way to do so that he actually felt was safe. And so, although he still didn't say anything, he nodded to show that he was willing to see them.

Once he had been left alone, Norway closed his eyes and tried to mentally prepare himself for seeing his family again. He still did not know what exactly had happened to cause them to be sent away in January, so he did not know how to keep it from happening again. He needed to be as much in control of himself as possible, though, and make sure not to show any signs of fear while they were there, in case that led to his being forbidden to contact them again. His attempt at composing himself was brought to an end when he heard an all too familiar exclamation.

"Nor! We've been looking for you everywhere. Are you alright?"

Norway had opened his eyes at the first exclamation and had to use all of his self-control not to flinch when he thought that Denmark was going to touch him. He hated being touched by someone who was standing over him. To his surprise though, Denmark did not actually touch him, and in fact, remained a short distance from the bed.

The brief moment of apprehension passed, Norway relaxed enough to look for the other members of the family. He noticed they all seemed to be keeping some small distance from him, although he was less surprised that the rest of them had done so. He had gotten used to the way Iceland usually stayed at the far end of the room now, although it still hurt since he saw it as his child rejecting him. And, he trusted Sweden and Finland enough to know that they would respect whatever boundaries he wanted to set.

"How are feeling, Norja?" Finland asked.

Norway wasn't quite sure how to answer that question, which was part of the reason he hadn't answered the earlier question either. He wasn't really alright; the fact that he had been admitted to the hospital pretty much proved that. However, at the same time, he believed that was just because his government was being overcautious. Looking at his family, though, Norway could see that they had been worried about him—that they still seemed to be worried. "I'm alright," he answered at last, not wanting them to worry anymore.

He could tell, though, that his answer did not seem to have convinced them. However, for the time being at least, none of them questioned him. They also did not ask him about what he had happened to make him run away. In fact, they seemed to be obviously trying to avoid doing or saying anything that might upset him. Once again, he found himself wondering exactly what had happened to make Birger decide to send them away—what was hidden in those moments he still had no memory of.

It was only a little while later that the doctor and the government worker both entered.

"Now that you have seen for yourselves that Haldor is safe, I have something that I want to discuss with all of you," the government worker said. "I have been going through the records relating to what happened in January, and nothing seems to have been documented explaining why you weren't allowed to have any contact with Haldor. In fact, I had no idea that contact had been forbidden until you asked for permission to see him on his birthday. However, over the past couple months, I did notice that something was bothering Haldor, and I chose to look the other way, as did most other people who noticed. So, now, we need to determine the course of action that would be best for Haldor's recovery. However, in order to determine that, we need more information." He then turned his attention to Norway. "Haldor, we need to ask you some questions that might be difficult for you to answer. We hoped that you might feel more comfortable talking about some of this with your family here, since from what I have been able to gather, this involves them. However, if you would rather not discuss this in front of them, we can arrange that."

Considering that the questions probably wouldn't involve anything that his family didn't already know, that was an easy decision for Norway to make. "I want them to stay," he said. Truthfully, he didn't want to have the conversation that he knew was about to happen, but he knew that delaying it would only postpone the inevitable.

A couple moments passed in silence, before the first question was asked, "According to Birger's side of the story, you had a nightmare the night after the holiday. He claims that you were acting irrationally, and that you ran away sometime after he left you alone to calm down. Based on other information I have learned, I doubt that his version is true, but I still need to hear your side."

Norway hesitated for a moment before replying. The last time he had shared any personal information with a human he had been accused of being crazy. However, knowing there were four people in the room who would probably believe his side gave him the strength to answer. "I did have a nightmare, and when I woke up Birger was in my room. He blamed the nightmare on the fact that I had been allowed to spend the day with my family. For several months . . . I had been unhappy with . . . some of his rules." His explanation was somewhat halting, as he kept pausing to think of how he wanted to word things. "When he made that accusation . . . I—I couldn't take anymore . . . I told him that I would report what he had been doing. At first . . . he accused me of repeating lies that my family had told me . . . and he made accusations against them. That was when I told him the information he had been trying to get for several months . . . He didn't believe me, though . . . That was when he accused me being irrational. Then, he left, after saying we could continue the conversation later." There had been more to the conversation, but he didn't want to talk about that. He didn't want to have to explain exactly what information he had given Birger, because he was afraid that doing so might make the other humans believe that Birger's version of the events was the true one.

"If you were that unhappy, why didn't you come to me? I could have arranged for you to stay with someone else from the department."

That was another question that Norway didn't really want to answer. "I thought he was acting under your orders," he admitted after a few moments of silence.

The rest of the questioning wasn't much easier. He was asked to give more details about the way that Birger had treated him, about what exactly had been said that last night, and exactly what had happened back in January that had led to his having to be admitted to the hospital the first time. Norway did answer most of the questions about what had happened while he was staying with Birger, but he refused to give any other information. The events of that night had made even more convinced that he could not let humans learn anything about what had happened to him.

Then the questioning turned to something else that he didn't want to talk about. "Why aren't you eating?"

He didn't really have an answer for that, and the question itself wasn't strictly true. After all, he hadn't completely stopped eating. "I don't know," he eventually answered, an answer that was mostly true.

"Do you realize what you doing to yourself?" This time the doctor was the one who ask the question. "Four months ago, you had lost enough weight that it was beginning to have a serious effect on your health. As I told you before, if you were human, you might not have survived. We can't see you approaching that condition again, and just sit back and do nothing. And before you start thinking it, I'm not just saying this because of what you are. Right now, you are my patient, and I cannot let you continue doing something that is jeopardizing your health."

"It's not that bad," Norway insisted. "I still have it under control."

"Haldor, this might not be as easy to control as you think. And none of us are going to just be able to sit back and watch you risk your life like this."

Apparently they had decided to stage an intervention. Norway looked over towards his family. None of them had said anything while he was being questioned by the two humans, but just having them there had made it easier to for him to say as much as he had. Of course, they also knew some of what he had not said—could not say. He wasn't sure if they had been in on this intervention planning, but he could tell that they agreed with what the doctor had just said. He turned away again, because seeing their concern did make him feel like he was doing something wrong.

"You need help, Haldor. I don't know what happened to you, but judging by the condition you are in, it's something that you can't deal with alone. You need to let someone help you."

Did that mean that he was going to end up right back in a situation like the one he had run away to get out of? His government would just find someone else for him to stay with, who would control who he could be in contact with and whether or not he was allowed to attend meetings.

"Based on what happened last time, though, we think it might be best if you didn't stay with someone from the government. We still don't feel you should be on your own, until you have recovered more, but we have come up with a compromise, if you agree to you," the government official said. "I spoke to your family earlier, and they are willing to look after you, if you would rather stay with them. It was wrong for Birger to try to keep you away from them, and I think they might have a better idea of what is bothering you than we do. However, if you would rather not stay with them, I can still look into making other arrangements. I don't want to force you to stay somewhere you will be unhappy, especially after what happened last time."

Norway didn't respond immediately. He wanted to be with his family—that was pretty much all he had wanted since April. However, he couldn't believe that he was actually being given that option; especially by someone from his government—not after the way Birger had treated that idea. Once again, he looked over towards his family, and finally managed to give his answer. "I would prefer to stay with them," he said.

"Then you can stay with them. I will have your phone, and identification brought here before you are discharged," the government official said. "Is there anything else you left at Birger's house that you would like to have with you, or should we just hold onto everything else?"

Norway hadn't really left that much at Birger's besides the things that had been locked in the drawer. He had never been allowed to have much there in the first place, after all. He had left behind some clothes, a few books, and his stuffed bunny. Of those things, the bunny was the only one he kind of wanted, but he didn't want to ask someone from his government for it, so he shook his head.

"Alright, I will have those things brought to you. If some kind of incident comes up, we will call you, but otherwise, you don't need to come in to work until you've recovered. I don't want you to worry about anything except getting better."

"If that's settled, I would like to talk to the four of you," the doctor said, turning to the other Nordics. "There are a few things you need to be aware of before Haldor can be released into your care."

* * *

They were led the same room where they had spoken to the doctor a couple of times back in January. And once they were all in the room, he didn't waste any time getting to what he needed to say to them.

"Haldor will be discharged in a few hours, and I want to make sure you are ready to care for him."

"Are you sure he's ready? He seems to have gotten worse just in the last week." After all, it had been only a little over a week since they had last seen Norway, when they had visited him on his birthday.

The doctor seemed to be taking a minute to consider his answer. "Truthfully, I'm not entirely sure, but I feel that based on what happened before, keeping him here probably won't do him any good. I don't know exactly what is bothering Haldor, but the physical problems he is having all seem to be caused by an emotional issue. At this point, I would say that the only way Haldor can recover is if that emotional issue is dealt with. My hope is that you will be able to give him whatever help he needs with that, because I don't think there's anyone else who can. We haven't had much luck finding someone that he will talk to about anything that is bothering him, so I am hoping that he will talk to you at least."

"He did talk about it a little bit at the beginning of April," Finland said, referring the conversation they'd had the afternoon before the meeting. As far as anyone knew, that was the only time that Norway had talked to anyone about what was bothering him. Even most of what the family knew, they only knew because of what they had witnessed on that final morning of Scandia's visit, and because of some of the comments that Scandia had made during that confrontation.

"I thought his emotional state had changed after he came back from that meeting," the doctor said. "Some of us had been getting very worried about Haldor's emotional state for several months, although at least one person claimed it was normal behavior for him. But it actually seemed like he didn't actually feel anything, rather than like he was just trying to hide what he felt. I have noticed that he does that a lot of the time lately."

"What about his physical condition? Is there anything we need to watch for there?" They wanted to avoid a repeat of what had happened last time, if they could. At various points during the last few months, they had all wondered if they had made a serious mistake by waiting so long to make sure that Norway got actual medical help. If they had taken him to a hospital right after they had found him, then it might have been possible to avoid the deterioration in Norway's condition that had started with his panic attack at the world meeting and culminated in his suicide attempt. They couldn't exactly ignore the fact that Norway could have died because they had waited so long before taking him to the hospital. But, they had given in to Norway's instance that no one learn of his condition, and because of that, they had almost lost him.

"Haldor's condition is still better than it was in January, but if it continues to deteriorate, it won't be long before he reaches that point again. His blood pressure is a bit lower than it should be, although not dangerously so. However, if he starts having problems with lightheadedness or even fainting spells, that might be a sign that he needs medical help. As you might remember, a few months ago, the malnutrition actually had an effect on his heart. Fortunately, that resolved itself once he managed to gain back some of the weight he'd lost, and that has not recurred yet. However, if it does happen again, it might be harder to resolve this time. That is main reason I want you to watch for the symptoms of the low-blood pressure worsening; that may be a sign of some underlying problem. The main issue though, is that Haldor needs to get his weight back up to a healthy level. However, there are some things you will need to watch for there as well. I will make sure that you are given these instructions in written format before leaving, but basically you need to watch him to make sure that he is actually eating. Also, since he has probably been eating even less than usual in the past week, there are some things that he shouldn't eat right away. All of that will be included in the printout, though."

That was actually a little more than they had expected to be told to watch for, and it made them a little worried that Norway's condition was worse than the doctor was telling them. That worry was not lessened when the written instructions they were given turned out to include information on how to help someone who was dealing with an eating disorder.

* * *

**Author's Note:** This chapter is probably the end of the involvement that any of the human characters will have in the story. I know I've said that before, but this time I think it will actually be true. And if anyone is wondering, Birger did get some trouble for the way he'd been treating Norway, but I'm not sure exactly what happened to him. The best case scenario for him is that he got transferred to a different government department.

Also, I don't know if anyone is wondering about this, but since I did mention it being included in the instructions that the rest of the family was given I want to clarify that Norway has not actually been diagnosed with an eating disorder. He is showing some of the symptoms of one, and obviously his doctor is aware of that fact. However, no official diagnosis is being made, because they're not sure whether or not he actually has one.

The next chapter should be out by the end of the month, and depending on how much time it covers, may finally include at least one long overdue conversation.

Once again, I want to thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I don't think there's anything specific that I need to reply to this time, but I will say that one of my reviewers might not what I was referring to in the previous paragraph, when I mentioned that a long overdue conversation might finally be had. (And yes, that is intended to be something of a teaser for the next chapter.)


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's notes:** I didn't quite get everything that I was hoping to in this chapter. There turned out to be other things that needed to be dealt with first, and I liked where this chapter ended. The conversation that I hinted about in my author's notes to the previous chapter is still coming. The characters are just being stubborn about actually having that conversation.

**Warning:** This chapter contains discussion of abuse, eating disorders, and an apparent suicide attempt. These all refer back to things that were previously mentioned or that happened in earlier chapters, and nothing graphic is shown in this chapter. However, since I know the mentions can also be triggering for some people, I chose to specifically warn.

Chapter Fifteen

Norway had not been discharged until early afternoon after he had (supposedly) eaten lunch and been given one last examination by the doctor. A government official had shown up around that time with Norway's phone and ID. Then, the whole family had gone back to Norway's house so he could pack whatever he wanted to bring with him. That had taken longer than they had expected it to—long enough for the others to wonder if Norway was intentionally stalling. In fact, they all noticed some small signs of apprehension that Norway was trying to conceal, but none of them had any idea what might be causing it.

Things had taken long enough that, even with the shortcut, it was late afternoon by the time they got to Sweden and Finland's house, where they had decided to stay for the time being. That decision had involved a bit of discussion, but in the end they had decided to make this as much like a normal family gathering as possible.

"Do you want to go upstairs and rest until dinnertime?" Finland asked, once they had been in the house for a few minutes and Norway still had not gone more than a few steps past the door.

"No." The answer was given quickly, and held more than a hint of the fear that the others were growing increasingly used to seeing.

That was when they realized their mistake. They were in the same house where they had spent most of Scandia's visit, which meant that Norway must have some recent bad memories associated with the room he usually stayed in. Although they had spent some time there before January's world meeting, at the time, Norway had been in a much worse condition physically and had not given them any reason to suspect that being in that house might upset him.

"Why don't we go into the living room and sit down for a while at least?" They could figure out what to do about the fact that Norway didn't want to go upstairs later, but they wanted to at least get him into the house. At the same time, though, they had to be careful to avoid forcing him into anything.

It took a few moments, but Norway eventually managed to walk the short distance to the living room and sit down on the edge of the couch. He immediately grabbed a couch pillow, which he wrapped his arms around and held in front of his chest like a shield. Although his expression gave nothing away, that was enough for the others to tell he was uneasy. They all exchanged concerned looks, none of them quite sure what to do.

"I'll talk to him," Finland said, after a few moments of silent conversation. After all, he was still the only one that Norway seemed to be able to talk to about any of this.

Once the other three reluctantly left the room, Finland sat down on the other end of the couch. "Are you going to be alright if we stay here for a while?" he asked.

Norway did not answer immediately, although in this case, his silence probably was something of an answer.

"We can go somewhere else, if you need. We just wanted to try to make things as normal as possible, but none of us thought about the fact that we spent so much time here last summer." Finland was careful not to specify that the time he was referring to was Scandia's visit, not wanting to risk making Norway more uncomfortable.

"I'll be alright," Norway said, doing a fairly good job of standing as emotionless as he usually did. "I'm just not ready to go up there yet."

"Would it be easier for you to stay in a different room?" All of their kind had several rooms in their houses, a legacy of the days when several nations could end up living together in one house for as long as a few hundred years.

"I can handle it," Norway answered. He didn't want them to know how afraid being back in that house was making him. After everything that happened in the last year, he couldn't afford to show any more signs of weakness. Somehow, he had to get back to normal, and in order to do that, he would have to stay in his usual room. "I just needed some more time." Hopefully, that explanation would be sufficient to cover his earlier hesitation.

"Norja, if being here makes you too uncomfortable, you can tell us. We'll make other arrangements. You don't need to force yourself to do anything you're not ready for. None of us are going to think less of you because of any of this. We just want you to be alright."

Norway didn't reply to that, and for a while they just sat in silence. After a few moments, Hana-Tamago came into the room and hoped up on the couch next to her owner. Finland petted the dog, as he studied Norway for some sign of how much of what he had said had actually gotten through to the other man. Even after a few minutes, though, he still could not tell if his words had made any kind of impression. Norway seemed to have rebuilt his defenses enough to keep his expression from giving away any hint of what he might be thinking or feeling.

* * *

After a slightly rocky start, they had quickly fallen back in the normal routine followed during family get-togethers, and the rest of that day passed without any major incidents. Sealand had gotten home a little before dinner, having spent the day with friends, and was excited to see that they had company.

Although everything seemed normal on the surface, there were signs there that the situation was not what it seemed. Norway barely ate anything at dinner, and seemed even more remote than usual. He also stayed downstairs after all the other members of the family had gone up to their rooms.

* * *

Over the next few days, they continued to follow a somewhat normal routine. Although the days all passed without major incident, the rest of the family was discouraged by the fact that there had been no signs of improvement in Norway's condition. He continued to eat a very small amount at every meal. A couple of times, they had made sure to fix foods that they knew he liked, but that caused only a very small difference in the amount he would eat.

After a couple of days, they also began to suspect that Norway was spending the nights downstairs in the living room. As far as they knew, he had not been upstairs at all. However, they were so cautious about ensuring that they didn't make him uncomfortable or force him into anything, that none of them pressed the issue. They just assumed that he would go upstairs when he was ready.

None of them were really sure if it was a good idea for him to attend the world meeting at the beginning of June, especially considering what had happened in January. Of course, Norway had been to three meetings since then and had not suffered any major setbacks. If anything, the events that had happened in April may have actually helped him a little. And, none of them really wanted to tell him that he shouldn't go. However, they did resolve that they would watch him closely, in an attempt to avoid a repeat of anything like January's incident.

* * *

May 31st was spent traveling to the meeting and checking into the motel. This was the first time that all five of them had arrived at a meeting together since January, and they knew that some of the nations that were hanging around the lobby probably noted that fact. Most of the family was aware that there was gossip going around about them, but they were doing their best to make sure that Norway remained unaware of some of the rumors about him. It wouldn't help his recovery to hear the theories that other nations had for why he was in that condition.

Despite his family's attempts to shield him, Norway was aware of the looks that other nations gave him and knew he was a subject of gossip. His awareness of that made him anxious to escape to his room. However, he was determined to appear as normal as possible.

Once they were all checked in, they were able to go up to their rooms, which were all near each other. Unlike the lobby downstairs, the hall was empty except for them.

After they had all gone into their separate rooms, Norway had a little time alone in his room before the others would come to collect him for dinner, and decided to use that time to steel himself to go down to the lobby again.

Norway was also having to constantly try to ignore how tired he was. He had not gotten a good night's sleep since a couple of nights before his birthday. He had needed to keep his guard up after that nightmare, and since he had been with his family, he had not wanted to let one of his nightmares disturb them. He did not want to be a burden to them any more than he already had. As much as the nightmares themselves bothered him, the thought that his family might really get tired of trying to help him was worse.

He wasn't ready to have to go back down to the lobby when there was a knock on his door. He got up and went to answer the door, and was unsurprised to find them all waiting for him.

"Are you ready to go out to dinner?"

"Yes." He wasn't really, but he knew his family would not let him skip a meal, especially since none of them had really eaten much for lunch that day since they had been traveling.

The downstairs lobby had gotten less crowded while they had been in their rooms. Other groups had already left to get food, and the ones that were left weren't paying much attention to them.

Norway still hesitated just outside the lobby, not wanting to be looked at by so many others. Even if there were less people in the lobby than there had been earlier, it was still more than he felt like he could handle.

The rest of the family had noticed Norway's hesitation, but none of them were sure what to do to make it easier for him. They didn't want to force him to walk through the lobby if it made him uncomfortable, but they couldn't let him skip dinner either. He wasn't eating enough as it was, so skipping any meals was out of the question.

After a few moments, Denmark put his arm around Norway's shoulders, pulling the smaller man against his side.

Norway immediately tensed at the unexpected touch, and then relaxed momentarily after he realized that he wasn't in any danger. However, then he realized that he shouldn't act like he liked the touch. "Let go of me."

"As soon as we're outside."

He would never admit it later, but that did make it easier for Norway to go the rest of the way into and through the lobby. Being held that way made him feel shielded from the looks of everyone in the lobby. And, if he didn't want to be held like that, well, that also gave him an incentive to go through the lobby. Norway was careful to keep his usual expression on his face, and give away no sign that he found any comfort in the contact.

Denmark actually kept his word, and let Norway go once they were outside. As soon as he was released, Norway moved a few steps away, not wanting to be grabbed without warning again—just because it had helped him get through the lobby did not mean it had been enjoyable or anything.

"Th't w's too m'ch of a r'sk. 'f Norge reacted badly t' being touch'd, y' c'ld've made th'ngs worse."

"It worked though."

Norway tensed a little when he thought that Denmark and Sweden were about to start arguing again. He had too much experience at being the object of one of their fights. Thankfully, though that brief exchange did not turn into an argument as they all continued with the business of finding a place to eat.

* * *

Once again, Norway ate only a small portion of his meal. He spent more of the mealtime moving the food around on his plate than he did actually eating. That fact had not escaped the notice of the rest of the family, but none of them were successful in persuading him to eat more.

When questioned, Norway had admitted to being a little tired, so after dinner they had taken him back to the hotel so he could rest. However, once he was alone in his room, he found himself unable to relax.

The exhaustion had he had felt earlier had not left him but fear of what—or rather, who—might be waiting for him if he fell asleep kept him from doing so. Eventually, though, he did manage to get a little sleep, but when morning came, he woke up feeling just as tired as he had felt the night before.

This morning, his family did not come to his room to get him. Instead, they had all agreed to meet downstairs, where an informal breakfast was being served before the meeting would start. Although, they had offered to come to his room to get him, Norway felt the need to prove that he was capable of going down to the lobby on his own.

A look in the mirror as he was getting ready to go downstairs made it clear to Norway just how hard he would have to work in order to convince the rest of the world that there was nothing wrong with him. He was paler than usual, making the dark shadows under his eyes that much more noticeable. The shadows were almost as prominent as they had been in January. He did not really notice how thin he was, but it was clearly noticeable to anyone else.

Once he was ready, he went downstairs to an area off of the lobby, where several nations had already gathered. Food had been set out on some tables along one of the walls.

Norway ignored the food, although he did get a cup of coffee. He wasn't really supposed to have coffee until he had recovered a little more, but none of his family wanted to enforce that. This morning he was extra glad that they weren't enforcing that since he didn't think he could get through the meeting otherwise.

The other Nordics noticed that he wasn't eating, but chose not to say anything to him in public. What none of them realized that was other nations had also noticed.

The meeting itself was no different than usual, but Norway wouldn't remember much about the morning later. His exhaustion had reached the point where there seemed to be a veil between him and everything around him. As the meeting wore on, his struggle to stay awake became increasingly difficult.

Somehow, though, he did manage to get through the morning, and eventually it was time for the lunch break. Unlike the previous month, there was no question as to whether or not he was going to lunch with his family. They did wait until everyone else had left the room before leaving themselves, though.

When Norway first stood up a wave of light-headedness came over him, and he had to grab the back of his chair to keep from falling.

"Nor!" Denmark grabbed onto Norway's arm in an attempt to steady him, apparently forgetting the effect that had had back in January. "Are you alright?"

The light-headedness had already passed, and Norway was just grateful that no one other than his family had been there to see it. Ordinarily, he wouldn't have been much happier about their having seeing it either, but they had seen much worse signs of weakness from him in the past several months. After all, they had been the ones to save him being— Norway shook his head, to stop himself from finishing that thought. "I'm fine. I just go up too quickly." He shook himself free of Denmark's hold. "And don't grab me like that again. I don't need your help right now."

Denmark reached for Norway again, but this time Norway was able to stay out of reach. None of the others had intervened so far, but they were all watching Norway closely ready to intervene if he stumbled again. After all, that was one of the things the doctor had told them to watch out for.

"Norja, have you eaten anything today?" Finland asked, after a few moments.

At first, Norway considered saying that he had eaten before coming downstairs for the meeting, even though that was a lie. Then he realized that his family would probably be able to see through the lie. "No," he admitted.

"That's probably all that's wrong then. But if it happens again, we are taking you to a doctor. We're not going to take any chances with your life."

* * *

The afternoon went much the way the morning had. The other Nordics had wanted Norway to go upstairs and rest, as they were afraid that he might be developing some complications from his current condition. However, he had refused to miss any part of the meeting. All afternoon, they kept a close eye on him and they noticed that although he looked tired, he showed no more signs of any dangerous symptoms. By this time, though, they all knew that they would have to find a way to actually help him soon. Before it was too late.

With that objective in mind, when the meeting was over, they found a place where they could talk without being observed by the other nations. As far as they knew, Norway had gone to his room to rest, and they had told him to call if he needed them for any reason. They had offered to have at least one of them stay with him, but he had insisted that he wanted to be alone, so they couldn't do much except hope that he might actually rest. In a little over an hour they were going to be going to get him in order to go to dinner anyway, though, so they hoped he should be alright on his own for that long.

"He's getting worse again, isn't he?"

"I'm not sure. I think part of happened today is because he's tired. He seems to be afraid to go upstairs at home." Telling about that made Finland feel like he was betraying Norway's confidence, but Norway had not actually admitted to being afraid or asked that it be kept a secret. "I thought he'd been sleeping downstairs, but I'm starting to wonder if he's afraid to sleep. After all, he was having nightmares before."

"But you do think he's alright? He's not going to get sick again?"

"If he doesn't start eating more he probably will get sick, but I don't think he is in any immediate danger. He needs to get some more rest, too. I think we need to be more active about making sure that he actually eats. We made a mistake letting him skip breakfast this morning. And I'm going to try to get him to talk about it some more."

After that, their little meeting was basically over, and there was still some time left until dinner.

"Islanti, can you stay for a minute?" Finland asked.

Iceland stopped just inside the door and waited as Denmark and Sweden left. "What?"

"Are you and Norja talking to each other at all?"

"Not really. I don't want to upset him."

"Are you handling all of this okay?"

"Yes."

"We should have asked you that before, but we'll all been so focused on making sure Norja was alright that we forgot that the revelation affected you as well. I just wanted to make sure you were able to handle it."

"I wanted to know." Iceland intentionally left off any mention of the argument that he had had with Norway because of his desire to know about his heritage.

Finland decided it was probably a good idea to change the subject, since there was one more thing he wanted to talk to Iceland about. "Do you want to do anything special for your birthday later this month? It's only a few weeks away, so we should probably start planning."

"I don't want to have any kind of family celebration this year."

That statement went a good ways towards confirming the suspicion Finland had that Iceland was not dealing with the recent revelation as well as he wanted to pretend. He had also noticed that Iceland seemed to have been avoiding Norway for the past several months. "Are you sure that's what you want?"

"We're supposed to be helping Noregur. I don't want to cause him to be reminded of—"

"It might hurt him more if you do this. Why don't you take a few days to think about it, before you make that decision?" And in the meantime, Finland intended to try to talk to Norway about this. Something needed to be done to get Norway and Iceland to actually talk to each other, before whatever it was that was going unsaid between them made a bad situation worse than it already was.

* * *

It wasn't until the next evening that Finland got a chance to attempt to talk to Norway. They had all just gotten back to the house, and once again Norway had refused to go upstairs. The only difference was that this time he was able to go into the house without needed to be prompted.

"I'm g'ng t' pick 'p Sealand," Sweden said, after they had been in the house for a few moments. They always left Sealand with a sitter during meetings, unless they were going to be gone longer than a few days. That arrangement had been made as a concession to some of the nations that objected to Sealand's trying to attend the meetings.

Shortly after Sweden left, Denmark and Iceland also left to take care of some things at their own homes. This had all been arranged earlier, as Finland hoped that it might be easier to get Norway to talk without the risk of the rest of the family overhearing.

Norway was in his usual spot in the living room, and appeared to be lost in thought. For a few moments, Finland just stood and studied the other man. He was still surprised by how fragile Norway looked sometimes. Between the amount of weight he had lost, the paleness of his skin, and the dark shadows under his eyes, Norway looked like someone who had been ill for a long time—which, considering how many months had passed was closer to the truth than the rest of the family really liked to admit.

"Norja?" Finland asked, not wanting to approach any closer until he was sure that Norway was aware of his presence.

Norway turned to look in his direction, but did not actually say anything.

Once he was sure that Norway knew he was there, Finland crossed the remaining distance to the couch, and sat down beside Norway. He was still careful to keep a little distance between them, at least. "How are you feeling, Norja?"

"I'm alright," Norway answered, after a few moments of silence. "Where is everyone else?" He seemed to have just realized that they were alone.

"Sve want to pick up Sealand, and they'll probably stop somewhere on the way home. They'll be back a little while before dinnertime. Tanska and Islanti had some things that they needed to take care of in their homes after the meeting. They'll be back sometime tomorrow."

"Won't it look strange if I'm still here?" It was rare for any kind of family gathering to not include the entire family, after all.

"We told Sealand that you've been sick, and will be staying with us until you're feeling better." Finland hoped that was what Norway had meant by that question. After all, it was unlikely that anyone outside the family would notice, although if any did it would be one more thing to add to the gossip that was going around.

"Last summer . . . did he see anything?"

It took a few moments for Finland to realize what Norway was asking about. His first instinct was to lie, so that Norway wouldn't feel guilty about something that really wasn't his fault. However, he realized that if he did so, the truth would probably still come out eventually. "He saw as much as the rest of us did. If I had thought about it at the time, I would have had Islanti take him back to the kitchen, so neither of them would have witnessed that. That morning, though, none of us were thinking about anything except protecting you."

"I'm sorry. I thought I remembered him being there, but sometimes I'm not sure how much I really remember from that morning."

"Nothing happened that you need to apologize for." This wasn't what he would have expected when he had initiated the conversation, but at least he had gotten Norway to start talking about something.

"I never wanted any of you to see that—to know about what happened." Then something seemed to occur to him. "Does anyone else know?"

"I think only the family knows."

"Everyone else is talking about it though, aren't they? I've seen the way they look, like they're just waiting for me to slip in front of them again."

"Norja, that's not the reason for the looks." Finland knew that was a least partially a lie. There probably were some nations that after what had happened in January were just waiting for Norway to show any signs of weakness again. However, many of those nations might have been doing that anyway. "Most of them are concerned about you. We got a lot of questions at February's meeting about whether you were alright. There has been some gossip, but we've been trying to deal with it." Finland hoped that would be the end of the matter, as he didn't want to have to tell Norway what some of the rumors going around where.

"What are they saying?" Norway tightened his grip on the couch pillow he was holding and seemed to be trying to prepare himself for an answer.

At first, Finland considered not answering the question. It was not really necessary for Norway to know what rumors were going around, and it might even be harmful. However, there was the risk that someone outside their family might say something to Norway, so maybe it was best if he found out now what was being said. "None of them have come close to guessing the truth, at least not from what they've said. The most common rumor seems to be that you were being held prisoner by someone during all those months that you weren't at the meetings. There are also some who suspect that you have developed some kind of eating disorder because of how much weight you've lost, although there might be some truth to that one. Not all of the rumors are just about you though. There's been some speculation about what's been going on with the whole family, because none of us were speaking to each other in February."

"It's not an eating disorder, and I have it under control." Norway was looking away from Finland, so it was hard to tell if he was actually telling the truth.

"Norja, have you actually not noticed what you're doing to yourself? You're going to end up in the same condition you were in a few months ago if you don't start eating more. And when was the last time you slept?"

Silence was the only reply given to that question.

"Are you still having nightmares?"

"Sometimes." For a couple of moments, it seemed as though Norway wanted to say something else, but whatever it was went unsaid.

Finland waited until he was sure that Norway wasn't going to say anything else before asking, "You know that you're safe here, right? None of us will let anyone hurt you if we can prevent it."

Something about the final statement was enough to make Norway start talking. "They never stopped him. I used to hope they would notice and do something, but they never cared enough. All they ever did was accuse me of being his favorite. They probably think the same thing he does, since they're old enough to remember."

"Remember what?" That was the only part of what Norway had said that Finland wasn't sure of the meaning of. He suspected that "they" probably referred to Denmark and Sweden, but he wasn't sure what the rest meant.

"Our mother. They know that it was my fault she died."

Even though it had only been stated in the letter, Finland was aware of the fact that Norway blamed himself for his mother's death, as she had apparently died when he was born. He also suspected, based on their conversation in April, that Scandia was probably the source of most that blame. "It wasn't your fault."

"Father never let me forget." Norway's voice was barely loud enough to be heard, and he was still looking in the other direction, the couch pillow clutched tightly in his arms. "Even after all this time—he still finds a way to remind me every year. I can't deal with what he says again, but there's no way to get him to stop. I never know when he's going to come, and it's been happening more often since last summer. As long as I don't sleep, though, he can't come."

Finland wasn't sure how to reply to that. He could tell that Norway's fear was real, but he had trouble believing that Scandia was really still able to find a way to harm Norway. After all, the ancient nations were supposed to be gone, weren't they? They weren't supposed to have any interaction with the modern world except for occasional visits. He also remembered back in January, the first time they had taken Norway to a hospital, and the doctor there had specifically told them not to encourage Norway's fear of sleeping, because there was no reason for it. "Norja, you know that your father is gone. He can't hurt you anymore." That was the only reply he could think of—to try to reassure Norway that he was safe now.

"You think I'm crazy, too, don't you?"

"No. I think you have a good reason for being frightened, and that's why you're having nightmares. I don't see how your father can actually reach you when he is not anywhere near here."

Norway turned his gaze away from the far wall to actually look at Finland, before releasing his grip on the couch pillow, and pulling back his sleeve to uncover the scar on his left wrist. "He's the one that did this. He wanted it to look like what everyone thought it was, but I didn't try to kill myself."

As disturbing as it was to believe that Scandia apparently still had the power to physically harm Norway, and had actually done so at least once, it was still a relief to learn that Norway had not attempted suicide. That reason along made the seemingly impossible revelation easier to believe. The revelation also made it clear why Norway seemed to be afraid to sleep, but it did raise the question of how Norway could ever be safe enough to recover, if Scandia could get to him that easily.

"Is there anything we can do to make sure you're safe from him?" After the events of the past year, Finland had no intention of losing Norway to something they had no way of fighting, and he was sure the rest of the family would feel the same when they learned this new piece of information.

Norway rolled his sleeve back down to cover the scar. He was always careful to keep it covered as much as possible. "There's no way to stop him, and I'm afraid that if I do find a way then he'll go after Island. I can't remember anything before being with father, so I know what to expect at least and I can handle it. But I won't let Island go through any of that."

"And the rest of can't stand by and watch you be hurt. But refusing to sleep isn't a good solution. You'll just end up getting sick again."

"I'm scared to sleep," Norway admitted. "I don't want to deal with him for a while." He was silent for a few moments before adding, "Don't say anything to the others, please. I don't want them to think that . . ." He was unable to say exactly what he didn't want them to think.

"If I think that your life is in danger again, I will tell them." Finland didn't think it was a good idea to keep this a secret from the rest of the family, but he didn't want to lose Norway's trust either. He knew from previous conversations how determined Norway was to not be seen as weak, and he also suspected that this might be the information that had led to the government official believing that Norway was irrational. He studied Norway closely again, taking note of the dark shadows under his eyes, a sign that the lack of sleep was already beginning to have a physical effect. "And you have to try to get some rest."

"I can't," Norway whispered, his voice still almost inaudible.

"You don't have to go upstairs; you can just rest here on the couch. Just for a couple of hours until dinner and I'll stay here in the room with you and wake you up if it looks like you're having a nightmare."

The silence that followed lasted long enough to give the impression that Norway was going to refuse, but at last he nodded. "I'll try." He still seemed somewhat apprehensive, though.

Finland got up and went to get a spare blanket. Then, when he returned to the living room, he used the blanket and the couch pillows to make the couch into a makeshift bed for Norway. Then, he took some paperwork he needed to look over and went to one of the other chairs in the room.

A few moments later, Norway's exhaustion caught up with him, and he fell into an apparently peaceful sleep. Finland hoped that Norway's sleep would remain peaceful, and that a few hours of rest would lead to at least some improvement. There were still some things he had wanted to talk to Norway about, including the situation that seemed to be developing with Iceland. However, those things would have to wait until Norway's physical condition was a little more stable.

* * *

**Author's notes: **I just want to make sure my readers are aware that the next update might be delayed a little bit. I am going to be doing Nanowrimo next month, so my novel will have to take priority for the month. I will try to work on this story after reaching my daily wordcount goals, but I cannot promise there will be an update in November. I will try my best to get the next chapter out within a reasonable timeframe, though. I try to update my profile as I get some idea of when the next chapter will be out, so if you're wondering about when the next update will be, you can always check there.

I would like to thank my most recent reviewers. I do appreciate getting reviews even if I do not actually reply to them. However, as the last chapter was mainly just setting the stage for this chapter, I can understand that it wasn't much to review. I hope the people that have been following this story are still enjoying it at least.

And I promise that the conversation I hinted at last chapter is coming—they're just being stubborn about talking to each other.


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's Note:** I'm sorry it took me so long to get this chapter up. I had really bad writer's block for most of December, due to some real life stuff. I'm a little afraid the middle of this chapter suffers from having been written while I was struggling with that, so I hope it will end up being worth the wait. As usual, the same warnings from other chapters continue to apply. (And I guess if someone is reading chapter sixteen, they've probably already seen those.)

Chapter Sixteen

The couple hours of rest did not seem to cause any noticeable change in Norway's condition. He still seemed exhausted when he woke up, and he still left most of his dinner uneaten. And like every other night recently, he still refused to go upstairs. Since the couch was still made up into a temporary bed, there was a chance that he may have gotten some sleep, but it was difficult to tell for sure in the morning. When asked about it, he had refused to answer, and once again ate only a very small amount at breakfast.

A couple of times over the course of the morning, they had attempted to get Norway to eat something, in the hope of keeping him from losing any more weight. After lunch, Finland had managed to persuade Norway to try to get some more rest. He had not yet figured out a solution to what Norway had admitted the previous day, and he knew that he what he was doing now was only a temporary solution. However, he had to do something to try to help Norway.

* * *

Denmark and Iceland both returned from their own homes in the early afternoon, having taken care of the things they needed to as quickly as possible. If it had not been for the way things had been planned, they probably would have just skipped dealing with those things. None of the family wanted to be away from Norway until his condition was more stable. They were all still too afraid of losing him.

"How's Nor?" Denmark asked as soon as they had entered the house. Going into the living room, he saw Norway resting on the couch.

"About the same. I've managed to convince him to get some rest, so try not to wake him."

Silence fell for a few moments. None of them wanted to risk disturbing Norway, as they all knew how much he needed the rest, and since he did seem to be sleeping peacefully at the moment.

"He will be alright, won't he?"

Before the previous day's conversation, that question would have been easier to answer. Now that he knew that Norway might still be in danger from Scandia, Finland no longer felt like he could guarantee that Norway would be okay. He also suspected that their conversations had only scratched the surface of the amount of pain that Norway had kept concealed for so many years. "I hope so. I think he's just gone too long without dealing with this, and that's making it harder for him."

Although none of them spoke about it, they all shared the same additional worry about Norway's physical condition. The nations were generally stronger than ordinary humans, but ultimately their bodies were still human. They could potentially come down with human illnesses, and with the condition Norway was in and the length of time he had been in that condition, that was a real risk at present. Both malnutrition and lack of sleep could weaken the immune system, after all. So, even if the emotional issues were dealt with, none of them wanted to consider this additional risk.

Norway rested through most of the afternoon. The rest of the family took turns sitting with him, and watching over him, even if most of them did not know why that was necessary. It may have been their presence that allowed Norway to be able to rest peacefully for so long though—on some level he may have known that they were watching over him and that he was safe for the moment.

Just like back on Christmas, that rest was enough that when Norway woke up shortly before dinnertime, he actually seemed a little stronger. The rest of the family hoped that was a good sign, but they didn't want to get their hopes up too high. After all, this wasn't the first time that something that had seemed to be a good sign hadn't led to that much of an improvement. But at the same time, they couldn't help hoping, as half the time it didn't seem like there was anything else they could do to help Norway. The only thing they could do was hope that he would be okay.

* * *

At dinner that night, the conversation turned to the birthdays that were coming up later that month. There were a couple of days until Denmark's birthday, and Sweden's birthday was the day after Denmark's. And then, Iceland's birthday was a little over a week later. It was a strange coincidence that four of the five members of their family all had birthdays within a month of each other, although the fact wasn't really apparent without looking at the dates, rather than just at the month.

Anyway, with three birthdays coming up, it was really no surprise that the conversation turned to what the plans were. Denmark had about the same plan he usually did, which basically meant that he had invited at least half of the world to his house.

Until that was mentioned, Norway hadn't been paying much attention to the conversation. Instead, he was concentrating on forcing himself to eat what he hoped his family would consider a decent amount of food—or at least on making them think he was eating, as his attempt at actually doing so had failed rather early in the meal.

He had thought that he wouldn't need to deal with anyone outside of the family until the world meeting at the beginning of July. He wasn't ready to have to be around so many others yet, especially without the illusion of structure that the meetings provided, and especially not after learning what kinds of things they were saying about him. He just wasn't ready to deal with all that yet, but he knew it might cause even more gossip if he didn't go.

Norway had been so distracted by his thoughts, that he had missed part of the conversation, but his attention was quickly drawn back to it by the next thing he heard.

"I'm not planning to celebrate it this year," Iceland was saying, apparently in response to having been asked what he wanted to do for his birthday.

At those words, Norway put his fork down next to his plate, all pretense of eating forgotten. The only meaning he could get from those words was that this must be another sign that Iceland was ashamed of the circumstances of his birth. He looked across the table at the younger nation, who was making a noticeable attempt not to meet his gaze—although that had become pretty standard lately. Norway had almost gotten used to the fact that ever since January, Iceland didn't even want to look at him anymore, but that didn't make it hurt any less to be rejected by his child.

"I still think you should take a little more time to consider before making that decision," Finland said, in response to Iceland's announcement.

For a few moments, a slightly uncomfortable silence fell, before the conversation moved on to other topics.

* * *

The next several days passed mostly uneventfully. The first two of the June birthdays were celebrated, pretty much the same way they were every year.

Nothing more had been said about Iceland's decision to not celebrate his birthday that year. After all, there was still a little time before his birthday, and some members of the family believed (or rather, hoped) that he would change his mind before then. The true reason behind that choice had not been talked about, and Finland remained the only person who was aware of Iceland's reasons.

Of course, Norway thought that he knew why Iceland had made that decision, and he took it as a sign that Iceland was rejecting the truth about their relationship. On some level he was aware of the fact that he really did need to talk to Iceland, but he wasn't ready to handle what might come out of that conversation.

Ever since June's World Meeting, Norway's main focus had been on trying to at least make his family think that he was recovering. He tried to make it look like he was actually eating at meal times, and as they had not said anything to him, he thought he was successfully fooling them.

The one thing he had not been able to do was force himself to go upstairs. A couple of times he had gone to the foot of the stairs, and tried to force himself to ascend them, but he had never been successful. And, after a few moments, he would have to give up, to fend off the panic attack that threatened to hit him every time he tried. Usually, if he went into the living room, he would be able to calm down without his family noticing that he had been upset at all.

To some extent, the pretense did seem to be working, as the others no longer seemed to be watching him quite so closely. They seemed to have gotten used to his reluctance to go upstairs, as none of them had said anything about it again. The one thing that they did make sure to do was ensure that he was eating, but even there, the pretense seemed to be working, and his family seemed to have no idea how little he was actually eating.

In reality, though, the others hadn't really stopped watching him. They were still keeping a close eye on him, but for the time being had decided not to push him too hard. As far as they could see, Norway seemed to be showing some signs of recovering, although they did suspect that he might not be doing as well as he was trying to make them think. But they were afraid that if they pushed him too hard, they might drive him away. So they were making an effort to give him some space, and to conceal just how worried they were about him.

And of course, they had other things to think about as well, and could not spend twenty-four hours a day making sure that Norway was alright. They all had their own work to do, although they were careful to make sure that at least one of them was always at the house—just in case, although none of them could say exactly what it was that they were worried about.

Also, after the conversation about birthdays, all of the adults in the family had become aware of the fact that a situation might be developing with Iceland as well. None of them were quite sure whether his decision not to celebrate his birthday that year was a good idea or not, but it was a pretty obvious sign that something might be going on with him.

* * *

There was only a week left before Iceland's birthday when Norway made his first (and possibly only) attempt to talk to his brother. Truthfully, it was the first chance he had gotten to make an attempt as they were never in a room alone together anymore—hadn't been since that motel room after January's meeting.

It was just a little bit after dinner time, and the rest of the family were all busy with other things at the moment, leaving the two of them alone in the living room. Neither of them had really spoken the other for several months, in fact, the last time that they had _really_ talked had been on Christmas, and since early January, they had mostly avoided each other. Even now, they were close enough to being on opposite sides of the room so that it still looked like they were avoiding each other.

For a while, neither of them spoke, or, in fact, seemed to want to speak. That in itself was not terribly unusual, but there was an uncomfortable heaviness to the silence that would not ordinarily have been there. There were too many things that needed to be said between them that neither knew where to start.

"Island." Norway was the first to break the silence, although he hesitated after speaking his brother's name. He knew the things they needed to talk about, but he couldn't bring himself to actually say anything more. Writing that letter the previous summer had been difficult enough. He would have been quite satisfied to have never needed to talk about that time in his life, to have never had Iceland learn the true nature of their relationship. And somewhere, among all the other things he was trying to deal with, there was hurt that his child had apparently decided to reject him.

Iceland put aside the folder of papers he had been looking through. Due to his younger age, he was not given the same amount of work that the adult nations were, but his boss had given him some papers to look over. He would probably need to look at them again later, but going through them had at least given him something to focus on other than the fact that he was alone in a room with someone who he believed that his presence caused an unpleasant reminder to. He looked over at his brother, but did not say anything.

The silence fell again, before Norway managed to ask the question that had been on his mind since dinner several days before. "Are you really not doing anything for your birthday?" It took all of his willpower to keep his voice as emotionless as usual, and not give away just how strongly he felt about the subject.

"I was thinking of going home for a few days," Iceland said. "I need to get these papers back anyway, and that seems like a good time to do so." Although the shortcut that nations could use to travel between their houses made travel from one country to another really simple, Iceland did live further away from the rest of the family, and was the least likely to just be able to run home for part of a day, the way some of the others did during family get-togethers.

The silence fell again, as neither of them was willing to go where this conversation might take them. At last, Norway asked, "Is there some reason you don't want a family celebration this year?" He was hoping his suspicion was wrong and this was just some teenage thing.

"It just doesn't seem appropriate this year, with everything that's happened."

That wasn't quite the answer that Norway had been dreading, but it was close enough. And he knew what "everything that's happened" must refer to. He could understand enough to know it was because of him, even if Iceland hadn't come right out and said so. As that understanding dawned, his usual emotionless mask failed, and he looked noticeable stricken.

Once again silence fell, neither of them knowing what to say. However, it was not that much longer before the rest of the family entered the room. They could immediately tell that something was wrong, although none of them had any idea exactly what had happened. The safest thing seemed to be to bring up a subject that seemed to be completely unrelated to anything bad, and that seemed to work. The brief conversation that Norway and Iceland had had appeared to be forgotten.

* * *

Despite his attempt at making the rest of the family think he was alright, Norway was still thinking about his conversation with Iceland. That conversation, and the suspicion it had given him that Iceland really was going to reject their true relationship, was not something he could easily forget, as much as he wished he could.

The next day, he increased his efforts to convince his family that he was recovering, in the hope of being able to return to his own house. He was glad that he was allowed to spend time with his family again, but at the same time he wanted to be alone and not have to worry about making sure that he didn't look any weaker than he already had. And, he needed to deal with that fact that one of the things he had been dreading since the secret had come up was probably going to happen. However, he wanted to be alone to deal with it, and not let them see how much it hurt him.

It was with that intention in mind that he found himself standing at the foot of the stairs again that evening after dinner. He had somehow ended up with sometime to himself, as the rest of the family was all attending to other things, and they all thought that he was in the living room. So, he decided to make the most of that time, and use it force himself to finally go upstairs. After all, as long as he refused to go upstairs, his family would never think he could be left alone for longer than the brief periods of time that they were leaving him alone now.

And yet, he still hesitated, knowing what memories might be waiting if he managed to make it all the way upstairs. After all, most of the recent things Scandia had done to him had all happened up there. This house was the place where they had spent most of Scandia's visit. It was in fact the only physical place to have a large number of those memories associated with it. The home he had grown up in was long gone—erased by the way the world had changed since then.

Summoning all of his resolve, Norway managed to take a couple of steps up the stairs. He could feel the pain in his chest increasing, and it was getting harder for him to catch his breath. He tightened his grip on the railing, and forced himself to take another step and then another.

The further up the staircase he went, the tighter his grip on the railing became. He stopped about halfway up and looked around warily. Seeing no one around, he forced himself to ascend the rest of the way—the tight grip on the railing the only thing keeping him from falling, as his legs were growing increasingly shaky, and he was beginning to feel lightheaded. He wasn't sure if that was because it was becoming increasingly difficult to catch his breath or because most of his dinner had once again gone uneaten.

By the time he actually made it upstairs, both the shakiness and the lightheadedness had increased to the point where he needed to sit down on the floor and wait for it to pass. He leaned back against the wall and tried to concentrate on heading off the panic attack that he could feel threatening to overwhelm him.

There was very little light in the upstairs hallway and nothing that he could focus on to distract himself. There was no sound other than the sound of his heartbeat throbbing in his hears. It was beating much faster than normal, and the pain in his chest was still increasing. Gradually, it became to seem to him that what little light there was in the hall was fading, but he tried to tell himself he was imagining it.

Norway drew his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, trying to make himself as small as possible and to hide, as he became convinced that he could hear footsteps approaching.

_ A hand closed around his upper arm, the grip tightening painfully until he was sure he would have a bruise there later. Before he had time to react, he was being pushed back against the wall, leaving him no chance of escaping._

_ "I thought my orders for what you were to do with the child were clear," Scandia said, clearly unhappy about not having his orders followed. Despite his obvious anger though he was careful to keep his voice quiet enough that the rest of the family would not overhear anything from their own rooms. "You were supposed to leave it behind to die, so no one would know it ever existed."_

_ Norway could not bring himself to look directly at his father, but he did manage to find the strength to reply. "I couldn't do that to him," he whispered. That was the one thing he had ever defied Scandia about. He had not been able to kill his own child._

_ "You're lucky I had already been warned that you had kept the child. Although, I must say I was surprised when I was informed that my fourth son had been found, when as far as I was aware, I only had three children."_

_ "He doesn't know anything," Norway said. "None of them do. They all believe that I just found him."_

_ "So, no one has any idea what you're capable of?" Scandia was still keeping Norway pinned back against the wall, and now, if anything, he seemed to be even more threatening than he had been a moment again. "Remember, if anyone finds out our little secret, I will make sure they also learn how much of a little freak you are."_

_ At that moment, Norway wanted nothing more than to get away from his father. He had tried so hard to avoid this confrontation—he had waited until everything else had gone upstairs, hoping that then he would be able to slip into his room before Scandia could attempt anything. But, Scandia had been waiting for him right at the top of the stairs._

_ He briefly considered the idea of making some noise loud enough to draw the attention of the rest of the family, believing that they would not allow Scandia to harm him. But then, he allowed himself to imagine what would happen if any of them learned the full story—if they learned how much of a freak of nature he really was. He could easily believe that they would reject him if they learned the truth—maybe even just if they learned how weak he had been. And what if they tried to take control of him again? Even if they didn't do that, he doubted they would ever be able to look at him the same way again._

_ The knowledge of what he believed would happen was enough to make him keep silent and make no attempts to escape. He knew from experience that he had very little chance of getting away from his father—and, as all of the memories that he had tried so long to keep buried began to come to the surface, he could not even make an attempt._

_ For a few moments, they both stood there in silence, and Norway felt his apprehension growing as to what his father might be about to do. He knew that Scandia must have something in mind other than making sure that no one ever learned of the things that had happened between them years ago. And he suspected it would be what he had been dreading since he had learned that Scandia was coming to visit._

_ Scandia's next words were enough to confirm that suspicion. "Well, if you don't want anyone to find out, perhaps we should continue this someplace more private. Which of these rooms is yours?"_

_ Norway hesitated. Enough family gatherings were held at this house, that he knew he would have to be able to use his room here again. And he knew that if he allowed Scandia in there that would never happen. It was more than just that, though. He did not want to have to go through what he knew would happen as soon as Scandia actually got him alone in one of the bedrooms. As long as they were out here in the hall, the risk of discovery was too great, and Scandia would not do any more than threaten._

_ Scandia leaned over to whisper into his ear. "I've been waiting upstairs long enough to know who all the occupied rooms belong to. And, if you want out of our little arrangement, I guess I could use the time to get to know the son I didn't know I had."_

_ "Stay away from him." As much as he did not want to go through what he knew was coming, Norway knew that he could not allow Scandia to harm Iceland. He knew what to expect from his father, and he could survive it again, if necessary, as long as he knew that his child was safe and would never have to go through that. "I'll do what you want."_

_ Scandia relaxed his grip enough for Norway to show him which room to go to._

* * *

Someone was calling his name, although the sound seemed to come from far away. Norway opened his eyes, and was surprised to find himself alone in the upstairs hall. He looked around frantically, expected to see Scandia lurking the shadows, but there was no one there. He really was alone, and he had no idea how he had gotten here.

Once again, he heard his name being called, but this time he recognized the voices of his family, and realized that they must have noticed he was no longer downstairs. But he had no idea how long it would take them to think to look upstairs for him, given his refusal to come upstairs. He wasn't even sure how he had ended up upstairs, when he had no memory of having actually climbed the stairs. At the moment, the only thing he could remember clearly was the first night of Scandia's visit, but he knew that had been almost a year ago.

He vaguely remembered standing at the bottom of the stairs, trying to force himself to get over the weakness that kept him from being able to face the upstairs, and the memories that lurked up here.

His family was still calling his name, and he could tell they were worried about him. And that they would not think to look upstairs. In fact, given his previous behavior, they would be more likely to think that he had run away again.

"I'm up here," he called. He had to repeat it a couple of times before he was able to speak loud enough to be heard downstairs. A few moments later, he heard footsteps on the stairs.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

Before I get into the various explanatory notes, I would like to see a special thanks to _of quills on parchment _for their review of the last chapter. That review was one of the things that really helped me to get over my writer's block. I would also like to let them know that they were on the right track with the questions they asked, and that I will be elaborating on that in an upcoming chapter.

And now onto the explanatory notes. I can't remember if I talked about the birthdays back when I wrote the chapter about Norway's birthday or not. If I did, please bear with me, because I am going to talk about birthdays again. I guess it's pretty obvious in this story, that they were all actually born. Their birthdays really are the day that they were born on, and the same magic that allows them to exist in the first place also causes them to eventually end up with a national holiday on the day they were born. (Also, as for the coincidence of several of the birthdays being grouped together the way they are, it might not be a coincidence, at least in the case of three of them.)

Okay, a few chapters ago, a reviewer asked me if the various nightmares and flashbacks that Norway keeps having are waking visions or nightmares. I dealt with the answer to that a little in the last chapter, by clarifying that some of those are more than just nightmares. However, the flashbacks in chapter eleven and in this chapter were both just actual flashbacks. And, the flashback in this chapter could also be considered a missing scene from "Family Secrets" since it is taking place during the time covered by that story.

Also, the scene in this chapter where Norway and Iceland just happened to be left alone in the living room was actually a set-up by the rest of the family. It was an attempt at getting them to talk to each other, but it didn't go quite the way the others were hoping it would. (And that fact that I kept going back and forth on the way I describe their relationship is intentional, because they're not quite sure which relationship should be the primary one. And even with their true relationship more or less revealed [at least within the family], they are still brothers since they have the same father.)

The next chapter should be out before too long, as I'm going to start working on it later today. And this story is the only one I will be working on until it is finished, so with any luck, I'll be able to update on a regular basis from now on.


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's note:** Well, I managed to get this chapter finished a little ahead of a schedule, since I was originally planning to post it next month. So, here's a slightly early update to make up for the late update last chapter. As usual, see previous chapters for warnings.

Chapter Seventeen

It took the rest of the family a little while to realize that Norway wasn't anywhere downstairs. They had started leaving him alone for a little while after dinner some nights as part of their attempt to give him some space. As far as they knew, he stayed in the living room the whole time while they took about fifteen minutes to half an hour to work on paperwork or whatever.

However, that evening, when they entered the living room, Norway wasn't there.

At first they weren't too worried, until a quick search revealed that he didn't seem to be anywhere in that part of the house. Then, they started to worry.

They all knew he wasn't in the best condition physically, and they were worried that might have caught up with him. They were also worried that he might not be in the house anymore—that he might have run away for the third time. But they didn't want to consider that possibility yet, because it meant that it might be too late to save him. They had already seen that he would not take care of himself while in his present emotional state, and they did not want to risk losing him if there was still any way to save him.

The one hope they had was that maybe he was just in another part of the house that they hadn't looked in on their quick search. With that in mind, they began a more thorough search.

For several moments, they split up and checked different rooms downstairs, calling for him as they did so. They were just about to conclude that he was no longer in the house when they heard an answering call from upstairs. That was the one place they had not thought to look, as they were all aware of Norway's refusal to go upstairs.

And somehow, they just knew that something was wrong.

"Islanti, will you stay down here with Sealand?" Finland asked. He didn't want the younger members of the family to see something they shouldn't again. "Once we know if Norja is alright, we'll let you know."

"He's not alright, though." That was something they were all aware of really—after all, Norway hadn't really been alright since Scandia's visit.

"We at least need to make sure he's not hurt or anything. And if anything other than the usual is wrong, then you shouldn't have to see it." The two younger members of the family had already seen more than they should have since both of them had witnessed the confrontation with Scandia, and since Iceland had witnessed the incidents in January.

Leaving the two kids downstairs, the other three went upstairs to find Norway. They didn't have to search very far, as Norway had not gotten very far past the top of the stairs.

He was sitting on the floor, and his knees were drawn up to his chest and arms wrapped around them. He was incredibly pale, even more so than he had been before. And when he looked towards them, he showed no signs that he recognized them, or possibly that he even saw them. He was breathing a little too rapidly as well. The others were reminded of the episode he had had at the hospital before they had been sent away. And they all remembered how hard it had been to get him out of that state.

"Nor?" Denmark took a couple of steps closer to Norway and reached out to put a hand on his shoulder.

"Wait, don't touch him yet," Finland said. "We need to make sure he knows we're here first. Otherwise, we might make things worse, especially if he thinks it's someone else touching him." It had been shown several times that Norway reacted badly to touch when he was in a state like this.

And of course, they weren't sure how to get him out of this particular state. The one thing they knew was that he had been aware enough a few minutes ago to answer their calls, and that apparently something had happened since then that had upset him. However, they had no idea what that might have been, as they were sure no one else had been upstairs. And the last time they had seen Norway in a state like this, they had at least known what had triggered it. But this time, the only thing they knew was that something had made him come upstairs after more than a week of refusing to do so. And that something had upset him once he had gotten upstairs.

Finland knelt down across from where Norway was sitting, although he made sure to keep some distance between them. He did not want to risk doing anything that might make Norway more frightened than he already seemed to be. "Norja, you're safe now," he said. Since he had no idea exactly what Norway was frightened of, he couldn't be more specific than that. And, he couldn't even be sure if he would get a response, since Norway didn't seem to be aware of them at all.

Thankfully, a few moments later, Norway seemed to finally become aware of them. For the first time, he showed some sign of recognition, and some of the fear that had been visible deep in his eyes began to fade. Norway still didn't say anything, though. He merely looked around at them, noticing the way they had basically surrounded him. Slowly, as he began to become more aware of their presence his breathing began to even out.

The others were ready to help him if necessary, but it seemed that Norway might be able to recover from that episode on his own. And, based on previous experience, they all knew there was a risk that something as simple as saying the wrong thing could make him worse or make it harder for them to be able reach him.

However, the signs of fear were fading only to be replaced with the exhaustion that always seemed to follow one of these attacks. He leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes while the others exchanged concerned looks.

They had all seen how tired Norway usually was after one of these episodes, and they knew he would need to be taken somewhere to rest—he obviously couldn't stay where he was all night. However, they had no idea where to take him. He was uncomfortable upstairs, and they knew his usual room would have traumatic associations. But they weren't sure if he could manage the stairs safely in his present state, or if they could get him to accept help. At the moment, they were just very relieved that he had at least gotten up the stairs without falling.

After a few moments, Norway opened his eyes again. He still seemed to be aware of their presence, although he had not spoken yet.

"How are you feeling, Norja?" Finland asked, once he was sure of Norway's awareness.

Norway did not respond immediately. He looked at each of them again first. "I'm alright," he answered at last. "I don't need your help right now. I can take care of myself."

"But you're not taking care of yourself. You're barely eating anything, and you're already critically underweight. You've been admitted to the hospital three times in the last five months. That's not taking care of yourself."

Norway did not reply to that admonishment, but it clearly had some effect on him. He looked down at the floor, and his eyes were closed again, so he could not even look at any of them. They couldn't tell if those words had had the intended effect or not.

"Norja, we're trying to help you because we care about you. And right now, we'll all scared of losing you, and that's what will happen if you keep acting the way you have been."

This got no more of a response than the reprimand had, leaving the rest of the family at something of a loss. They no longer had any idea if they even had a chance of being able to help Norway, because he did not seem willing to accept their help. But, especially given the way things were going, they knew he might not survive if he did not get help from someone. But, they had no idea who might be able to help him.

"Can you stand up?" That was a valid concern, given how tired Norway usually was after one of these episodes, especially considering the fact that he wasn't in the best condition anyway. And they did want to get him away from the top of the stairs.

"Yes." Norway was still noticeably exhausted, but he managed to get to his feet. He was using the wall for support, though.

The others weren't sure if Norway could get downstairs safely when he couldn't even stand without support.

"Would you be comfortable in one of the rooms upstairs, for a little while, or do you want someone to help you downstairs?"

A few minutes passed before Norway answered. "I'll stay up here," he said at last. He seemed a little hesitant though.

There were a few extra rooms upstairs, although not that many since each member of the family had their own usual room. (Well, Sweden and Finland shared a room, but everyone else had their own.) A couple of times in the last few weeks, they had offered to let Norway use one of the spare rooms, but until now he had refused to come upstairs.

And they still had no idea why he had done so, but there would be time enough later to determine that. Right now it was more important to make sure that Norway would be alright. Although that got harder to believe with each new setback.

One of the extra rooms was close enough that Norway was able to get to it without help. He was clearly shaken and exhausted, and the others noticed that he had to support himself against the wall a few times. They suspected that it was only his usual determination not to show weakness that allowed him to make it to the other room. And they were all relieved when he was safely away from the stairs and settled in the bedroom.

"I want to talk to him, and see if I can find out what made him come up here," Finland said. "And then I think the rest of us need to talk again. We're going to have to do something different, I think." He wasn't sure if Norway would talk to him, but it was pretty definite he wouldn't talk to the others yet. "He's alright for now, though, or he will be once he gets some rest." There was a chance that might not be true after another incident like this though.

* * *

There were large portions of the evening that Norway couldn't remember at all. He remembered being left alone after dinner and standing at the foot of the stairs. The next memory that made sense was of being upstairs. Then there was another gap. He remembered hearing footsteps, and then his family had been there. But he had not seen them come upstairs, although he thought he remembered telling them that he was upstairs.

He tried not to let on how much these gaps in his memory bothered him, or even that they were happening. Instead he tried (unsuccessfully) to get the others to leave him alone. He didn't want them to know about the gaps in his memory of the evening, or that this wasn't the first time that had happened.

It had taken every bit of willpower he could summon to walk even the short distance to the closest spare room without needing help. That was the only thing keeping him upstairs—he was aware enough to know that in his current state he might not be able to walk down the stairs without falling.

Once he had been settled in the room, he was left alone for a few minutes, while the others were talking out in the hall. Norway knew that he wasn't going to be left alone for too long, though. Eventually, he was going to be questioned about why he had gone upstairs and what had happened to leave him in this state, and so he used the time to prepare himself for how to answer that without revealing that he couldn't actually remember coming upstairs.

Even knowing that some of the other members of his family were right outside the door, Norway still felt uneasy. Even few moments, he looked around the room as if expecting someone to appear out of the shadows. Not that there were that many shadows, since the lights were on the room—only the corners were left in shadow. He knew that no one else could be in the room, and yet he kept looking.

A few moments later, Finland came back in the room. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

"I already told you I was alright," Norway answered.

"We were worried when we couldn't find you earlier. We didn't know if you'd left again, or if something else had happened."

Silence fell for a little while. Norway wanted to say that he didn't want his family to worry about him, but at the same time, he couldn't miss the fact that he had given them reasons to worry. But, admitting to that meant admitting to weakness, and he couldn't do that, not when he was trying to convince his family to let him return to his own house. And, he just didn't want to talk at that moment, as he still hadn't figured out how to cover up the fact that he didn't remember coming upstairs. "I don't really want to talk right now," he said at last.

"If you need to rest now, we can talk later. I just wanted to make sure that you were alright, and that you'd be okay up here on your own."

Norway hadn't thought of that when he had agreed to stay upstairs—that he might be left alone upstairs again. He tried not to show any signs of the unease he felt at that thought, and not to look towards any of the shadowed corners. Any questions he may have had about that tactic's effectiveness were answered a few moments later.

"Will you be okay up here?" Finland asked. "I could stay with you for a little while, if you're not ready to be alone yet."

"I want to be alone," Norway said. There was some truth to that statement. He wanted to be alone to try to piece together exactly what had happened that evening. But he did not want to be alone upstairs—not after what had happened up there the previous summer. Those memories were just too closely tied to the upstairs of this house, and he was afraid they would overwhelm him if he was left alone. Or that the nightmares would return.

"We're all be right downstairs if you need us, then. Try to get some rest, and we'll talk to in the morning.

When Norway was alone again, his eyes strayed once again to one of the shadowy corners. The lights were all still on, and he had no intention of turning them off. As long as the lights were on, he felt safer from the memories that threatened to overwhelm him at any moment.

Objectively, he knew that he was safe. The rest of his family was all downstairs, and in a few hours, they would come upstairs. All night they would be right down the hall from him in their own rooms. And he knew that they would not allow anything to hurt him, if they could to do anything to stop it.

And yet, even though he knew he was safe, he still kept all of the lights on, and fought to keep from surrendering to the sleep that he needed after the earlier episode.

* * *

The rest of the family was growing increasingly worried. They all knew that evening's events signaled that some new crisis might be coming. And they were afraid that Norway might not survive another crisis.

The two younger members of the family had been told very little about what had happened upstairs. They were told only that Norway had gone upstairs and was now resting in one of the spare rooms up there, but that he was alright. Iceland knew that there was probably more to it than that, but decided to wait until later to ask questions. He was just as aware of what this new crisis might mean as the older members of the family were, and he was scared that he was going to lose his brother.

Nothing more was said about Norway's situation until later that night. For a couple of hours they had tried to pretend that it was just a normal evening, and if they happened make sure that one of them was always close enough to the staircase to hopefully be able to hear any sounds from upstairs, well, that was just a coincidence.

It was obvious that there was something that was going unsaid though, that there was something the adults didn't want to discuss in front of the younger members of the family. That, more than anything else, made Iceland suspect that Norway wasn't really alright, and as soon as he was got a chance to be in a room alone with them, he confronted them about what wasn't being said.

"Noregur isn't really alright, is he?" he asked.

"He had another episode like the one that he had that night in the hospital," Finland answered. "He's tired from that, but he should be alright once he gets some rest. I'm more concerned about what made him go upstairs, after the way he's been refusing to do so."

"But isn't it a good sign that he did so. It must mean he's starting to get better," Iceland said. He couldn't see why the others seemed so concerned about that, but then, he hadn't seen what had happened upstairs. He didn't know any details about the condition Norway was in.

"I think that's what he wants us to believe. He doesn't want to talk about it, so I don't know what's going on with him or why he went up there. But you didn't see the condition he was in when we found him. I'm afraid that if he does something like that again, he could end up getting hurt. If he'd had that attack on the stairs, or if he'd tried to come back downstairs during it, he easily could have fallen."

Iceland looked over at where Denmark and Sweden were standing. Neither of them had said anything about what had happened upstairs, but he could tell that they also felt that what was going with Norway wasn't a positive sign. And that they also realized how easily that night's events could have been much worse. "Do you think he'll be alright?" he asked, dreading what the answer might be. He couldn't bear the thought that he might lose his brother.

"I don't know," Finland answered. "There's something else you need to know about as well. I found out about it earlier this month, but I promised Norja that I wouldn't say anything unless I believed that his life was in danger. After what happened tonight, I think you need to know. It might be hard to believe, though, which is part of the reason he didn't want you to know about it. I'm not entirely sure if I believe it, but you need to at least know that he thinks this."

Silence fell for a little while, as the others all began to feel a growing apprehension at what they might be about to be told. An apprehension that only grow as they heard what it was that Norway hadn't wanted them to be told about. They had all known about the nightmares that Norway kept having, but they had never suspected that he believed Scandia was actually visiting those nightmares. It sounded crazy, but at the same time, they all somehow suspected that there might be some truth to it. But if it was true, then it was just one more danger that they had no way of protecting Norway from. A danger that, as was revealed eventually, Norway did not want to be protected from. And the hardest part of that to deal with, at least for Iceland, was hearing the reason why Norway did not want to be protected from whatever influence Scandia might still have. A reason that was not revealed until the very last part of the recounting.

"Norja is afraid that if he does anything to stop Scandia from bothering him, that Scandia will go after Islanti, and he doesn't want to take the risk that his child might be harmed."

"But I thought he didn't—" Iceland couldn't bring himself to actually finish that sentence. He knew that Norway had been trying to protect him—he had known since everything that had happened the previous summer. And yet, he still kept thinking that Norway hadn't wanted him.

"Norja really should be telling you this himself, but he really doesn't hold any of what happened against you."

"Then why hasn't he said that." Truthfully, it had been said in the letter, but they had never really talked about—well, about any of this. Of course, Iceland kind of overlooked the fact that he had been avoiding Norway for several months now, and hadn't exactly given his brother any chances to talk to him.

"If he knew what you were thinking, he probably would talk to you, or you could try talking to him. I know that he wouldn't want you to think that you weren't wanted."

"I don't want to upset him," Iceland said. After all, the last several times he had tried to talk to Norway hadn't gone that well. Maybe it was for the best if they just didn't talk to each other, or at least not about any of this. He knew that something he had said the last time they had tried to talk had upset Norway, but he wasn't sure why. And he really didn't want to talk about this anymore right now.

And, there were other things to worry about than the reason Norway had wanted the truth about the dreams to be kept a secret.

"We have to do something to protect Nor. We can't let him be hurt again." It was obvious just how worried Denmark was about the possibility that Norway might still be in danger. But then, everyone in the family knew how important Norway was to him.

"I don't know what we can to, though. I've been trying to think of something since Norja told me about the dreams. But I don't see how we can stop something like that, when we don't even know exactly what's happening. And we need something better than your trying to declare war on Scandia, since you've already been told you can't do that."

"Well, if he ever shows up again, I will kill him for what he did to Nor—especially if he really did have anything to do with how Nor got hurt." The flaw in that plan was the fact that Scandia was technically already dead, but apparently Denmark hadn't thought of that fact. And, he had been threatening to kill Scandia since shortly after finding out about what Scandia had been doing to Norway.

"I thought you needed to know about the danger that Norja might still be in just in case, but we may not need to worry about Scandia going after him again. I don't think he's had any of the nightmares since he's been staying with us, and I doubt that Scandia will do anything as obvious as show up again, since we all know what he did. At the moment, I'm more worried about what Norja is doing to himself than about what Scandia might still try to do to him. He's still barely eating, and the one time I tried to talk to him about that, he said that he had it under control. He seems to have no idea of what he's doing to himself, or to show any signs of actually wanting help. If anything, he's trying harder to hide the fact that he has a problem. I don't know what to do for him anymore."

Silence followed that last statement, as the rest of the family was forced to deal with the one possibility that they had all continually tried not to think about. They might not be able to save Norway—they might really lose him. And they might lose him because of something that none of them had any way of fighting.

"So what are we supposed to do? Just stand by and watch him slowly kill himself?"

"If we can't find a way to get through to him soon, that may be exactly what will happen. That's why I thought we needed to talk again. We need to decide what to do, while there's still time to actually do something."

"I'm not going to let Nor die." Denmark said, without even having to think about it.

"Neither am I," Iceland said. He didn't want to lose his brother, who also happened to be the only parent he was willing to acknowledge.

The discussion continued along similar lines long into the night. The entire family could agree that they needed to do something—that they couldn't just stand by and risk losing Norway. However, none of them could come up with a plan for what to do exactly, and by the time they finally stopped the discussion in order to go to bed, they were no closer to having a plan than they had been when they had started. The only difference was that they had finally spoken about the fear that all of them had tried to keep from acknowledging—the fear that they might not be able to do anything to help Norway, and that they really might lose him.

* * *

**Author's notes:** First a note about the update schedule. Starting next month, I am going to be doing another writing challenge during February and March. However, this time, I'm doing it with this story. If I'm going to get anywhere with this story, I need to just write without having to stop after every chapter to edit. Especially since I'm starting to really think about stuff coming up, including how this story will ultimately end.

Anyway, during the next two months, I will continue to update on my usual schedule, but I will probably be a couple chapters ahead of the one that gets posted each time. I don't know if I will finish the story by the end of March, but I'm hoping to at least get enough ahead that I will have a couple of extra chapters that I can post if I have another bout with writer's block.

The reason I'm mentioning this, since like I said, I still plan to post new chapters on schedule, is because I would like to give my readers an opportunity to tell me anything that they want to make sure I address before the end of the story. I have made note of things that readers have asked in previous reviews, and just because I haven't addressed something yet doesn't mean I won't. There are some things going on that have only been hinted at, and I've been considering at least leaving the possibility of writing more stories in this series eventually.

I want to thank my two reviewers from last chapter. It's nice to know that people are still enjoying this story.

I don't think I have any story related explanations this time, but if someone has a question about something in this chapter, I can try to address it next chapter.

And, back to the issue of update schedule—the next chapter should be out sometime in mid to late February. I've already started working on it, so it should definitely be on schedule.


	18. Chapter 18

**Warnings: **All warnings from previous chapters may still apply. This chapter also contains some discussion of what will happen if Norway's condition doesn't improve.

Chapter Eighteen

Norway had tried to force himself to stay awake all night, to avoid the risk of any nightmares, but he had eventually fallen asleep sometime in the early morning hours. The events of the evening had left him too exhausted to be able to stay up any longer that that. Luckily, though, his sleep remained free of dreams, and when he woke up he was a little less uneasy than he had been the night before—he no longer felt the need to check every shadow in the room out of fear that Scandia might appear at any moment. In daylight, and after a couple of hours sleep, the threat that his father posed did not seem quite as close. At the same time, though, he could not allow himself to fully relax and feel safe.

He had fallen asleep so late that it was midmorning by the time he woke up. It was late enough that he knew there was a good chance that he had slept through breakfast, and he was actually relieved about that. It would be one less meal to have to pretend to eat, although he wasn't sure if he should even bother with that. For the last several days, he had been trying so hard to convince his family that he was getting better, but he knew last night had made them see the truth.

For a moment Norway allowed himself to think that maybe it would have been better if he had never been found back in the winter. He could have just stayed hidden in the cabin until—He pushed that thought away before he could complete it. But this was not the first time he had thought something like that, and it probably would not be the last.

Not wanting to risk having that thought return, Norway forced himself to get out of bed. Although he was careful not to get up too fast, a wave of lightheadedness swept over him as soon as he stood up, and he had to support himself on the edge of the bed to avoid falling. As soon as it had passed, he managed to walk out into the hallway. And then he hesitated, not sure what to do next.

He was still wearing the same clothes he had worn the day before, and they were wrinkled from having been slept in. And everything that he brought with him when he had come to stay there was downstairs, and he didn't want to be seen like this—especially not after the condition his family had seen him in the night before. He wanted to at least be able to look like everything was normal, and that meant not wearing clothes that had obviously been slept in. At first, he couldn't see a way around the problem of everything being downstairs, but then he remembered that his usual room was just down the hall, and he knew there would probably be a couple changes of clothes in there. And once he had managed to get upstairs, he should be able to face that room.

Even once he thought he had made the decision to go to his usual room and see if he could find a change of clothes before going back downstairs, he still did not move from the spot outside the door of the room where he had spent the night. After a couple of minutes had passed, he forced himself to walk down the hall to the door, but then he could go no further. He just could not bring himself to enter that room, and he hated being that weak. It was just a room after all—despite what had happened there. As much as he tried to convince himself of that fact, he still could not bring himself to enter the room, and his breathing was starting to speed up again and he was starting to feel increasingly lightheaded.

The longer Norway stood there, in the hallway outside his usual room, the stronger the urge to run away became. At any moment, he expected to feel a hand close tightly on his shoulder or arm, and drag him into the room, not even giving him a chance to protest. And, the more time past, the stronger that feeling grew, and with it, the increasing sense of panic. Eventually, despite the lightheadedness he was feeling, he just had to get away, and turning away from the door, he walked back down the hallway towards the stairs. The urge to get away was so strong, that he did not even think about whether he should walk downstairs in his current state—about whether or not it would be safe. The only thing he thought of was that he needed to get away from there before something happened.

* * *

The rest of the family was aware of how late Norway had stayed awake the night before. Once they had all learned about the dreams he was having, and the danger those dreams might pose to him, they had taken turns looking in on him, while also trying to avoid disturbing him. They had been relieved when he had fallen asleep at last, and they had been especially relieved that his sleep had so far been free of nightmares. Even throughout the morning, they had taken turns looking in on him every so often, although they expected him to sleep until late morning at least, based on how late he had fallen asleep and how exhausted the previous night's attack would have left him—especially in his current condition. Just in case, though, they tried to make sure that at least one of them was close enough to staircase to hear any sounds from upstairs and be able to know if he was having a nightmare.

It had been a little while since any of them had checked on Norway, and there was a still a little time left before they needed to check on him again. And, other than listening for any sign that he might be having a nightmare, they weren't that concerned at the moment. That changed as soon as they heard a crash from the direction of the stairs.

As soon as they heard that they immediately rushed in the direction the sound had come from, to find Norway lying on the floor at the bottom of the stairs.

"Nor!" Denmark was the first to cross the remaining distance to the stairs and reached Norway's side.

The others followed a short time later. They had no idea how badly Norway was hurt, or exactly what had happened. Well, they knew that he must have fallen down the stairs, but they weren't sure of much more than that. As far as all of them had believed, he was still sleeping, but apparently he had woken up and tried to come downstairs. However, they weren't sure what might have caused him to fall, and they were worried about possible serious injuries.

Norway seemed to have been stunned by the fall, and there was a cut on his forehead that was bleeding heavily. They could not see any other injuries, but that did not mean that he did not have any. They knew enough to know not to move him before determining the full extent of his injuries, but they didn't like having to just leave him lying on the floor like that. If he was seriously injured, they needed to take him to someplace where he could receive treatment—which from their current location was easier said than done.

Their worry was lessened a few moments later when Norway opened his eyes, and then increased again by the tightness to his expression. They could see that he was in pain, but they still weren't sure where he was injured other than the cut on his head. And they were worried that he didn't even seem to be trying to conceal the fact that he was pain.

Norway slowly sat up, and raised a hand to touch the cut on his forehead, wincing as he did so. Then, he started to stand up, but collapsed back to the floor as soon as he put weight on his right leg. He was unable to suppress an exclamation of pain.

"Nor!" Denmark was still right by Norway's side, and reached out to try to help him.

"Don't touch me!" Norway exclaimed. After a few moments, he added, "I'm alright. I just got up too fast." He took a deep breath, and once again attempted to stand. This time he was able to stay standing, but he was clearly favoring his leg.

Any suspicions that others might have had that he wasn't really alright were quickly confirmed when he tried to walk. He was take a couple of steps, although he noticeably limping. Then, when he apparently put too much weight on his injured leg, he started to fall again.

He would have fallen to floor again, if Denmark hadn't still been close enough to him to stop his fall. Not wanting to take any chance that Norway might do something to hurt himself more, Denmark picked the smaller man up and carried him into the living room. To the surprise of the rest of the family, Norway did not protest at all—which added to everyone's worry about how badly he might be hurt.

* * *

There had been no question that Norway needed to be examined by a doctor, especially considering that he had been unconscious when the rest of the family had first found him. However, they had decided to take a chance that Norway's injuries were not to too serious and take him to the same doctor he had been seeing before, even though it would take a little while longer to get there. The shortcut made it so that it would only take a few extra minutes. And it just seemed best to go to a doctor that had some idea what was going on with Norway—especially given the fact that this doctor had proven that he actually cared about Norway.

Unlike the previous times, this time the whole family did not go, as someone needed to stay home with Sealand. Sweden ended up being the one to stay at the house as Denmark and Iceland had both insisted on going so they could make sure that Norway was alright and Finland was the one who was most involved in taking care of Norway.

Once they had actually gotten there, they didn't have to wait long before Norway was seen. Even though he seemed to be doing a little better by that time—the cut on his forehead had stopped bleeding at least—they had taken him somewhere that his true identity was known, and that meant that he got some special consideration. Of course, the rest of the family was still left to wait for news about Norway's condition—a scenario that was becoming increasingly familiar to them. It seemed like they had waited for a long time before the doctor came out to talk to them, although their worry may have made the wait seem longer.

"Let's go someplace private to talk," the doctor said, before leading them to the same room where all their previous discussions had taken place. Once they were all seated around the table in this room, he filled them in on Norway's condition. "Luckily, Haldor was not seriously injured. The worst of his injuries is a sprained ankle. Other than that, he just has a lot of bruising, and he will probably be sore for at least a few days. The cut on his head is not too serious, and he doesn't have any signs of concussion other than the initial loss of consciousness. I'm more concerned about how he was injured."

None of them were quite sure what to tell the doctor. Telling the truth would sound like they were trying to make up an excuse, as falling down stairs was sometimes used as a cover-up of abuse. And they didn't want to be suspected of that again, out of a fear of a repeat of what had happened when Birger had suspected them of hurting Norway. In the end though, they really had no choice except to tell the truth—that Norway had fallen down the stairs, but that they didn't know any more than that about how he had gotten hurt.

The doctor did not seem the doubt the truth of what they had said. "I realize how concerned all of you have been about Haldor since January," he said. "So, I doubt that you would do anything to hurt him. What I was wondering about was what caused him to fall. I'm afraid it may be related to the weight he has lost—that he may be starting to have negative physical consequences from that again. I noticed that he has lost a little more. Is he still refusing to eat?"

"Yes. If anything, he's been getting better at hiding the fact that he's not eating. I've tried to talk to him about it, but he just insists that he knows what he's doing and that he has it under control. I'm afraid that by this point, he may have actually developed an eating disorder—if he didn't have one to start with." As usually, Finland was the one who answered the doctor's questions.

"I've been afraid that it might come to that point, but I'd hoped that being with his family might help him more. Have you seen any physical symptoms from him that could be related to the weight loss?"

"None that we can be sure are from that. I know he had at least one spell of lightheadedness, but that may have been from lack of sleep. And I don't know if he's had any others, although it's possible that could have been what caused him to fall. We were actually all relieved that he didn't fall while going up the stairs last night. Maybe that should have made us keep a closer eye on him this morning, but we all thought he was still asleep."

"I am not blaming any of you for what happened to Haldor," the doctor was quick to reassure them all on that point. "Something is going on with him, I think, but I have no idea what it is. He has been questioned about it several times, but all anyone has learned is that it is something from his past. I am going to assume that all of you know what is going on with him, at least. That is part of the reason I thought he might be better off with his family." He paused for a few moments before adding, "I spoke to someone from the government after Haldor was brought in, and they are going to allow him to stay with you. No one wants a repeat of what happened with Birger, and we still feel that until whatever is going on with Haldor is resolved that he is better off with his family. But there is concern about the fact that he was injured again. Is there any chance that Haldor is some kind of danger, besides from the things he is doing to himself?"

And that was another difficult question to answer. For one thing, they could not answer it without giving information that Norway apparently did not want anyone else to know. And they also had no proof that he really was still in any danger. There were certainly clues that pointed in that direction—the fact that he had been injured in an empty (and locked) room and had claimed not to have done it to himself, the nightmares he had been having, especially if what he believed about them was true, and the fact that no one in the family knew where Scandia had gone. For all the rest of the family knew, Scandia really could be someplace where he could still be a threat to Norway, but they still believed that it was unlikely that Scandia would go after Norway directly.

After several moments had passed in silence, that doctor seemed to realize that they couldn't answer that question. "I want Haldor to stay here for a little while still, but I don't think there's any need to keep him overnight this time. Someone from the government will be coming by in a little while to check on him, and after that you can take him home. He will need to stay off of his ankle as much as possible for a few days to rest it, but the sprain is not very serious. However, I think it might be a good idea if you kept him away from the stairs this time—or at least did not allow him on them alone. I think, given the fact that he does not have an injury that could have caused the loss of consciousness, that the loss of consciousness may have been what made him fall."

* * *

They were allowed to see Norway once they had finished speaking with the doctor, and they were finally able to see for themselves that he was going to be okay. His ankle had been bandaged and was propped up on an extra pillow to keep it elevated. The cut on his forehead had also been bandaged, just as precaution. A few bruises could be seen, and they knew that there were probably more bruises hidden by his clothes.

As relieved as they were to know that he would be alright, they all regretted not having kept a closer eye on him that morning. They knew it was possible that something had frightened him upstairs and he had fallen while trying to get away. It had been obvious the night before that he was uncomfortable upstairs, and they had left him alone somewhere they knew he was uncomfortable. And they hadn't even been keeping a close enough eye on him to know that he hadn't still been sleeping like they had thought he was.

Norway seemed a little more alert than he had been the other times he had been in the hospital. He had been fully aware when they had entered the room, with no signs of the disorientation that he had shown at other times. But, still, it seemed like something wasn't quite right. "You don't have to stay," he said, shortly after they had entered the room. "Someone from the government will be here soon."

"We've already been told that your government won't send us away again, although they will probably be upset to see that you're not recovering. And we will need to talk about what happened last night and this morning."

"I don't want to talk about it," Norway said. And it was obvious that he meant it—he had no intention of talking about recent events.

By this point, though, the situation was getting too serious not to talk about it. "We are going to have to talk about this, Norja," Finland said. "None of us want to take any chances with your safety and you could have been seriously hurt this morning." What was left unsaid was the fact that Norway could have been killed that morning if he had landed wrong or hit his head harder than he had. It had just been way too close.

Norway did not respond; he merely turned his head away so he was no longer looking at them. That made them suspect that he knew what could have happened, and once again they wondered what was going on with him. But it was obvious that they would get no more information out of him at that time.

"I'm going to call Sve and let him know that you'll be alright, and that we'll all be home later today," Finland said. He knew that Denmark and Iceland would stay with Norway until someone from the government came, so there wasn't any risk that Norway would be left alone, and that made this a good time to go make that phone call. None of them had known earlier if Norway would be admitted to the hospital again, or if his government would allow him to continue to stay with them after that morning's events.

Finland was also hoping to get a chance to ask the doctor some questions about Norway's situation—questions that he had not wanted to ask in front of the two members of the family who were closest to Norway. For one thing he wanted to find out how much time might be left before it would be too late to help Norway—to find out just how much time they might have to come up with a plan. And if that morning's events were anything to go by, there might be even less time than they had thought.

The phone call didn't take that long to make, and then he went in search of the doctor in order to ask questions he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answers to.

The doctor did not seem terribly surprised to see him. "I assume you want to talk about Haldor," he said. "Let's go back to the conference room." Nothing more was said until they were back in the room. "What is that you wanted to talk about?" he asked, once they were once again seated in the conference room.

"How much time is there before it might be too late to help him?" As much as he wasn't sure he wanted to know that answer to question, it needed to be asked.

"I'm not sure," the doctor said, after a few moments thought. "I don't know enough about your kind to be sure. However, I would guess based on his current condition, compared to the condition that he was in a few weeks ago, that there might be a couple more weeks before serious complications start showing up as a result of his not eating. Although, given what happened this morning, he may have less time than that. And he is starting to show some signs of complications already—for example, his blood pressure is lower than it should be. But, like I said, I can't say for sure."

That was the answer that Finland had been afraid of, but it was still frightening to realize that there might be so little time left to get through to Norway. And no one in the family had any idea how to do that yet.

"Do you want us to bring him in more often to make sure that he doesn't start developing complications?" Finland asked. They probably should have been doing that anyway, but it hadn't been arranged before they had taken Norway home with them.

"That might be a good idea if he doesn't start improving soon. I wish we had the option of getting Haldor into some kind of treatment program, but given his status that isn't possible." He was silent for a few moments before saying, "You seem to be the one most involved in taking care of Haldor. Is that an accurate assumption to make?"

"Yes." Finland wasn't sure where the doctor was trying to take the conversation, but he hoped that it might lead to something that would allow them to help Norway.

"Has he talked to you at all about any of the things that are bothering him?"

"A few times. I can't tell you any of what he said though." Telling the other members of the family that Norway might be in danger had been one thing, but he would not betray Norway's trust by telling a human anything—even a human who genuinely seemed to care about Norway.

"I wasn't going to ask you to tell me anything. I just hoped that he was talking to someone. I'm not a psychologist but I have consulted with the one who was initially brought in on Haldor's case. She feels that he won't get better unless he talks to someone. And I think that may have been what caused his relapse a few months ago as well. Birger put him in a situation that he didn't think he could talk about, so he took control of the one thing that he could. It may also have been a cry for help—he might have been hoping that someone would see that he was getting worse and take him out of that situation. For some reason, he didn't think he could report the way Birger was treating him. What I can't figure out is why he is still not eating, now that he is out of that situation."

"I'm not sure if he realizes he has a problem," Finland admitted. He had said something similar in the earlier conversation, when he had said that Norway claimed to have the situation under control. "And as long as he thinks that, there isn't much we can do to help him."

"I have one suggestion," the doctor said. "Keep trying to get him to talk. Something is bothering him so much that he is jeopardizing his health rather than deal with it. And if it doesn't get resolved somehow, there is a very real chance that Haldor will not survive past the end of the summer."

That last statement was about what Finland had suspected, although he had hoped they might have more time than that—and he had known it would come up in this conversation at some point. That was why he had not wanted the rest of the family to hear it. The previous night, they had all become aware of the fact that they might not be able to save Norway and that time was running out. But Finland had not wanted them to know how little time might be left—and that was without any more incidents like what had happened this morning and not taking into the account the danger that Scandia might still pose.

And, if it was true that the only way to help Norway was to get him to talk, then they really didn't have much chance of being able to save him. Norway did not walk to talk about anything right now, and Finland suspected that their previous conversations had only scratched the surface of the amount of pain Norway was trying to keep concealed.

* * *

**Author's notes: **Just in case anyone doesn't remember, the shortcut that was mentioned in this chapter is the one through that other dimension that only the nations can access.

I don't think I have any special notes this time, other than to say that the next chapter should be out early in March. (I might try to post it on the 8th, since that would be the anniversary of the day I posted "Family Secrets".) I've got a pretty clear plan for the next several chapters, so assuming no website problems or writer's block, I should continue to be able to make pretty regular updates.


	19. Chapter 19

**Warning:** The warnings from previous chapters still apply. In addition, I need to add a warning for talk about a possibly impending character death (meaning that other characters are aware that's a possibility and are going to talk about it).

Chapter Nineteen

Norway was aware that he had made a mistake trying to go downstairs that morning. He had realized that as soon as he had started to fall, but he had been so desperate to escape. And now, he had no chance of being able to escape if he needed to, since he wasn't allowed to put any weight on his ankle for at least two weeks.

He had been allowed to leave the hospital once someone from his government had come by to check on him. True to the word that had been given earlier, he was allowed to go home with his family, but he wasn't sure how he felt about that.

Norway knew now that his family cared about him and that they were trying to help him. He just wasn't sure if he could trust them when it was so hard to trust anyone. And all the time there was this nagging doubt in the back of his mind—what if they were only pretending to care and really had the same opinion of him that Scandia did. For as long as he could remember, Scandia had told him that he never should have been born or that he should have died with his mother. And then, later, had come the other accusations. Even once Scandia had left, Norway had still never been allowed to forget his father's true opinion of him—the dreams had made sure of that. And that whole time, he had been aware that his older brothers resented him because they saw him as their father's favorite, and possibly blamed him for their mother's death.

Once he was back at the house, he had been settled on the couch, with an extra cushion for his ankle so that he could keep it elevated. And he wasn't left alone at all. At least one member of his family was in the living room with him at all times, and he knew they were just waiting for the opportunity to question him. In order to avoid having to answer questions, Norway had spent most of the remainder of the afternoon pretending to be asleep.

He had managed to avoid any conversation until shortly before dinner, when he was asked a question that he did have to answer.

"Do you feel up to joining us at the table for dinner, or would you rather have something brought to you in here?"

He was tempted to ask if skipping dinner was a valid option, but he knew his family wouldn't allow that. But he really didn't feel like going to the table. He was sore almost all over from the bruises he had sustained in the fall, and he didn't want to have to ask his family for help if there was any other option. So, after a few moments thought, he said, "I'd rather stay in here."

"Alright. You are going to have to eat, though. You can't afford to lose any more weight."

When the tray of food was brought to him, Norway forced himself to choke down a few bites. Even though he really didn't feel like eating, it at least allowed him to delay the discussion that he knew was coming. There were questions that would be asked that he really didn't want to answer—that he didn't even have an answer to in some cases, and he was desperate to find a way to put it off.

To his surprise—and relief—the discussion did not happen that evening. Instead, after dinner, the entire family gathered in the living room, and it was just like any other evening that they were together. But he wondered if the others were just delaying the questioning until after Sealand went to bed.

Even then, though, they did not ask him the questions he had been dreading. Instead, there continued to be no sign that this was anything other than a normal evening.

Despite the relief Norway felt at not being asked questions he could not answer, he still felt uneasy. During the hours that he had spent in the hospital, he had felt free from that uneasiness, but now it threatened to overwhelm him again. Even downstairs, he had to constantly fight the urge to look at any shadowy part of the room. He had felt a vague uneasiness for a while—he wasn't really sure exactly when it had started. He knew only that it had been getting stronger since the previous night, but that it had stopped while he was out of the house. And, as much as he tried to tell himself that there was nothing in the house to be afraid of, the feeling would not go away. Any moment, he kept expecting to feel a hand clamp onto his arm or shoulder, to be pulled into some secluded room, to be reminded that the things his father did to him were all that he was good for. Even as the unease continued to grow, he did his best to conceal it from his family.

As it began to get later, it grew harder to him to keep back the exhaustion he felt. It had been kind of a long day, and he was still tired from how little he had slept the previous night—as well as from the previous night's events. Eventually, the exhaustion got the best of him, and he drifted off into sleep without being asked any of the questions that he had been dreading.

* * *

The rest of the family had chosen not to say anything to Norway that day. Most of them were unaware of just how important it was to get Norway to talk about what was bothering him, and they were all aware of the fact that he was not ready to talk yet. So, for that day, they had fallen back on their old tactic of merely keeping an eye on him. After all, they had yet to come up with another plan.

It was something of a relief to them when Norway fell asleep. They had seen signs of the uneasiness he was trying to conceal, and had been a little worried that he might try to force himself to stay awake all night, which would definitely not be good for his condition.

"He probably shouldn't sleep on the couch," Finland said, once they were all sure that Norway was asleep. "Considering his injuries, he'd be better off in a bed."

That did cause a slight problem, since there weren't any bedrooms downstairs, and they were a little worried about taking Norway upstairs. But, sleeping on the couch while he was injured wasn't a good idea, so there wasn't much choice except to take him upstairs.

"I'll take him up," Denmark said. Getting up from the chair he had been sitting in, he walked over to the couch. As carefully as possible, he lifted Norway into his arms. Norway stirred a little as he was lifted, but did not wake and had soon drifted back into full sleep, as he was carried out of the living room.

"Put him in the same room he was in last night. Some of his things were moved in there earlier." That was one of the things that had been taken care of during the afternoon, while Norway had been resting in the living room.

"I'm going upstairs too," Iceland said, a few moments later. Whether he was going upstairs because he was ready to go to bed or because he concerned about Norway was left unsaid. It may even have been a combination of those reasons.

Sweden and Finland were now left alone in the living room, probably for the rest of the evening, as they suspected that Denmark and Iceland would both want to stay close to Norway after that morning's events.

"Wh't aren't y' telling th'm?" Sweden asked, after a few moments had passed without any of the others returning.

Finland did not answer right away. "I've just been thinking about some things I learned from the doctor that's been taking care of Norja," he said at last. He wasn't sure how much he should say about that conversation, especially about what had been said at the end of it. After all, he couldn't ignore that fact that Sweden was also one of Norway's older brothers.

"'nd h' gave y' some kind of bad news 'bout Norge?"

Finland nodded. "I asked him how much time he thought we had to save Norja, and he said that we might have only a few weeks before Norja starts developing serious complications from not eating. And if we don't find a way to get through to Norja, then he might not survive past the end of the summer. I don't want Tanska and Islanti to know. It's difficult enough for them to accept that we might not be able to do anything, without knowing how little time might be left."

"W'll figure out a way t' help h'm."

"His doctor said that we need to get him to talk, but he obviously doesn't want to talk right now. And the things that are bothering him may go back further than we can deal with. I think we might be up against something that he has been told his whole life. It might take more than we're capable of to convince him differently." He was silent for a few moments, wondering whether or not to say anything else. He suspected that there was more to what was going on than Norway had been willing to talk about, and he hoped that other members of the family might have some of the missing pieces of information. "Do you know what happened when Norja was born? Something he said one time indicated that Scandia's treatment of him goes back to that."

"I d'n't know any more than y' probably already kn'w. Danmark would probably remember more from back th'n."

"Apparently, Scandia was telling Norja something about what happened back then, and made him think the entire family hated him for that." Finland didn't come right out and say what it was that Norway had been blamed for, mainly because there was no really information about what had happened. Norway had mentioned a couple of things about what Scandia had been telling him, and that was it.

"Our mother died wh'n Norge w's born, b't w' never blamed h'm for th't. I guess our father could h've, though; he didn't take 't well. Th't w's when w' were left with Germania."

That bit of information was pretty much all that had ever been spoken off about what had happened back then. Scandia had basically abandoned all three of his sons with their uncle after their mother had died. The mother had been said to have died in childbirth, even though there were no records of any other nations having died that way—there were rumors that was one of the ways that a nation could die, but the only one who seemed to have actually died in childbirth was the mother of the three Scandinavians. Then, a few years after leaving his sons with Germania, Scandia had shown up again and taken Norway back with him. But why had Scandia wanted Norway back after having gotten rid of all three children for several years? And why had he been so determined to make Norway feel responsible for his mother's death, and to make him believe the whole family shared that opinion? It was possible that could have been Scandia's attempt to isolate Norway from the rest of the family, in order to conceal the abuse, but it just seemed like there was more to what had happened. Something about what had happened back then might be important, since it seemed to be what lay at the root of the abuse Norway had been subjected to. But it seemed impossible to find out about events that had happened so long ago, and would not even be directly recorded in history. The only possible source of information seemed to be if either Denmark or Sweden could remember something from back then. There was a least a slim chance that one of them might know something that would give the family a chance at getting through to Norway in time to save him. It might be the only chance.

"I'll ask Tanska about it tomorrow," Finland said. "I just hope that he might know something that will allow us to help Norja." He left unsaid that fact that finding out information from back then might be their only chance to help Norway.

For a while, they talked about things other than the situation with Norway, but it remained at the back of their minds. And there was one other thing that was bothering them. The situation with Norway was taking a lot of attention from the whole family and with the deadline approaching, it was going to take even more of their attention. Although, they both believed that it was important to do everything they could to save Norway, they also had their responsibilities as parents to consider. The more time they spent concentrating on Norway, the less time they would have for their son. And if the situation did worsen, it was possible that other things might happen that they did not want their son to witness. So, before too much longer, they would need to look into seeing if they could find someone for Sealand to stay with for at least a few weeks—long enough for whatever was going to happen with Norway's situation to happen, and for things to have gone one way or the other. That was something they would need to talk about in the next day or so, but for now it went unsaid.

* * *

Over the course of that night, the adult members of the family had taken turns watching over Norway. They were worried that he might wake up and be frightened to find himself upstairs, or that he might have another nightmare, but to their relief he had slept through the night, getting some of the sleep that he needed in order to recover. In fact, he had actually gotten more sleep than the rest of the family had, since they had all taken turns staying awake to watch over him. But it was worth it if they could keep him safe for that much longer.

Although Iceland had not formally participated in this watch, he had still managed to check on his brother a couple of times during the night. He was also beginning to reconsider his idea to go back to his own home soon. According to his original plan, he had been planning to leave the next day, and stay at his own home until after his birthday. But, now he did not want to be away from Norway for any length of time—he was too afraid that another crisis would occur while he was away and that he might never see Norway again if he left. Still, even with these fears fresh in his mind, he could bring himself to bridge the gap that had grown between them since January, and whenever he checked on Norway, he never went further than to look into the room.

He had wanted to enter the room a few times, but he just wasn't sure how to face Norway. Things had gotten even more awkward than usual between them since January. And, he just didn't know what to think—he wasn't sure if he was supposed to think of Norway as his brother or as his parent, when both of those were true. And he was still a little afraid that his very existence was a reminder of what had happened to Norway. Those seemed to be pretty good reasons for Iceland not to enter Norway's room, at least not while Norway might actually be awake. And by the time morning came, he still had not managed to convince himself to enter his brother's room.

After a quick look through the open door of the bedroom to reassure himself that Norway was alright—or at least not any worse—Iceland had gone downstairs where most of the rest of the family had gathered.

Well, actually the only one downstairs were Sweden, Finland, and Sealand. Denmark was still upstairs, keeping an eye on Norway; he had barely left Norway's side since the accident the previous morning. Of course, that might be a good thing if Norway really was still in danger from Scandia—it would be good if he had someone with him who would not allow him to be hurt if it could be avoided. And part of it may have been the same foreboding that Iceland was feeling—that there was a good chance that Norway might not survive another crisis, and that another crisis was surely coming—just as all the previous ones had kept coming every time it had seemed things were getting better.

The members of the family that were downstairs were all in the kitchen/dining area, having breakfast. Iceland joined them, but did not participate in any conversation after a brief exchange of good mornings.

"Was it today or tomorrow that you were planning to go back to your own home?" Finland asked, a while later.

"Tomorrow, but I'm not sure if I'm going after all," Iceland said. "But I haven't changed my mind about not celebrating." He added that last part, because he knew that Finland was still trying to get him to change his mind. And he was still determined that he did not want to celebrate his birthday—especially given the condition that Norway was currently in. Plus, he wasn't sure how he personally felt about his own birthday—he was disturbed enough by the circumstances of his conception that celebrating a birthday this year just didn't feel right. And he really was worried that his birth might be something that Norway did not like to be reminded of.

"Have you talked to Norja about your decision at all?"

"A couple of days ago—when you tricked us into being alone in the living room. We didn't talk about it that much, though. I didn't want to risk upsetting him." Iceland knew that something he had said in the brief conversation had upset Norway, but he had no idea what it might have been. It just added more strength to his theory that Norway did hold the circumstances of his conception and birth against him, and that talking about them at all hurt him. Not wanting to say anything else on that subject, Iceland turned his attention back to his breakfast. But he was still thinking about what he was going to do about his birthday.

* * *

The first thing Norway became aware of when he woke up was the pain—the bruises were even more painful than they had been the day before, and he felt as though every inch of his body hurt, even though the bruising wasn't quite that extensive. The second thing he became aware of was that although he was sure he remembered going to sleep on the couch downstairs, he was now in bed in one of the spare rooms upstairs. The third thing he noticed once he found the energy to turn his head, was that Denmark was sitting in a chair by the bed, watching him.

Norway tried to sit up, but he was too stiff from some of the bruising to be able to move easily. He hated how weak he must look right now, especially after the events of the last two days. If he had been ashamed of looking weak before, it was even worse now. Now, he couldn't even walk unaided because of his ankle.

And he wanted to be alone—not to be the subject of some vigil by the rest of the family. It wasn't like he was dying or something. Sure, he was going through a difficult time, and maybe he wasn't in the best condition but he'd had the situation under control. He knew what he was doing. And if family couldn't understand that, then maybe he needed to be somewhere they couldn't constantly watch him.

"I don't need you to watch me all the time," he said at last, voicing some of what he was thinking.

"If you're actually in danger, you should have someone with you. I'm not going to let you be killed."

"I'm not going to be—" Norway trailed off, when he realized the possible significance of that last comment. The rest of his family must have been told about the nightmares, and he really hadn't wanted them to know about those. He didn't want the people who had controlled him for so long to know that he was so weak he couldn't even protect himself from a dream. At the moment, the uneasiness that was becoming his constant companion had lifted enough that he was able to make the attempt to do some damage control. "I'm not in any danger," he managed to say. "I just have nightmares sometimes—that's all. I don't need someone watching over me all the time."

"Nor, I promised that I would protect you."

Norway had to restrain himself from replying to that. He wanted to ask where that protection had been years ago, when the whole thing with Scandia had been happening—when he would have given anything to have one of his older brothers actually do something to protect him. Later, centuries of having to endure their protection had made him convinced that he wanted nothing to do with any protection either of his older brothers might offer. "I'm not your province anymore—I haven't been for almost two hundred years. I don't need you to protect me." _And when I did want it you weren't around_, he thought.

"Nor—"

"Just leave me alone. I don't need to be watched right now. It's not like I can go anywhere."

Before either of them could say anything else, there was a knock at the partially open door, and then Finland entered the room. When he saw that Norway was awake he came over closer to the bed. "I came to see if you were awake yet, Norja, and to find out if you wanted breakfast brought to you up here, or of you would rather have someone bring you downstairs."

"I would rather stay up here. Alone." He really didn't want to be around the others right now. He had been trying to find a way to be allowed to leave, but obviously that wasn't going to happen. So, now he just needed to find a way to avoid the talk that he knew was coming. He did not miss the look that the others exchanged, and was expecting them to refuse his request.

"You can eat up here if you want," Finland told him after a few moments. "And it probably wouldn't hurt if you were left alone for a little while, under two conditions: you have to actually eat something, and you have to call someone if you need to get up. You can't put any weight on your ankle yet. And then, later, we are going to have to talk."

"I don't want to talk," Norway insisted, again. "I don't feel like having anything I tell you repeated to the rest of the family—after I told you not to tell them anything." He turned his head away, and closed his eyes, determined to ignore their presence in the room until he was actually left alone. At first he wasn't sure if they would really leave, but after a few moments, he could hear them leaving the room. He kept his eyes closed until he was alone, and then opened them.

Norway knew that he would only have a few moments alone before someone brought breakfast up to him, and he knew that the conversation he had been trying to delay would have to take place that afternoon. He was running out of excuses to delay it, but he couldn't let his family know that he didn't remember coming upstairs—and he especially couldn't let them know that that wasn't the only gap in his memory. They were watching him too closely as it was.

* * *

After the events of the past two days, the rest of the family had some doubts about leaving Norway alone—especially upstairs. Even a short time seemed incredibly risky. There was no guarantee that he wouldn't try to go down the stairs again, and right now he wasn't even supposed to be walking that much because of his injured ankle—and the injury actually increased the chances that he might fall again.

The one advantage was that this time gave the rest of them more time to come up with a strategy. Only two members of the family knew the extent to which time might be running out, but all of them were aware that they needed to get through to Norway soon. It had been almost a year since Scandia's visit, and something about that fact added to sense of urgency they all felt. Although they knew that it was the anniversary of only the most recent incidents, they all felt that there was something important about it—that they needed to help Norway to deal with what Scandia had done before that day arrived.

Finland had taken some breakfast upstairs for Norway, before coming back down to join the rest of the family in the living room. That room was the closest to the stairs, and gave them the best chance of being sure of hear if Norway did call them for any reason. No one wanted to take the chance of another accident.

"I'm going to go back up and try to talk to him later, after he has had a chance to eat something. But if I can't get him to talk this time, I'm not sure what to do."

"He's going to be alright, though, isn't he? We will find a way to help him?"

The look that Sweden and Finland exchanged upon hearing that question did not go unnoticed by the other two, but they were not sure what to make of it. After a few moments, Finland said, "We're going to do everything we can to help Norja, but we can only do so much if he's not willing to accept help. We have to get him to realize how much we really do care about him, and that we want him to survive. And somehow we have to get him to think differently about things that he has been told for most of his life."

They all remembered the things that Scandia had said to Norway during that confrontation the previous summer, but it had not really occurred to them that Scandia may have been saying things like that all along. But with that realization, other things also began to become clear. Thing that had never seemed important before—like the way Norway had changed after going to live with Scandia and how he had always distanced himself a little after that. Scandia must have done something to make Norway want to distance himself from the others. But, most of them had no clear idea of the kind of things that Scandia might have really been telling Norway.

"Among other things, Scandia may have gone as far as to attempt to convince Norja that he never should have been born." Finland didn't like betraying Norway's confidence by revealing this to the others, but they all needed to know what they were up against. He would have to tell them what little he knew about what had been done to Norway. "And Norja believes that the whole family felt that way—Scandia tried to make him believe that you hated him."

The fact that Scandia had been telling Norway that was one of the few concrete pieces of information the rest of the family had to go on. They weren't really sure of the full extent of the abuse or exactly how long it had gone on for. The only thing known about when it had started was Norway's statement in the letter that he did not remember how it started. That could mean one of two things—either he had been too young to remember, or he had blocked out the memory. But, Denmark and Sweden both remembered that Norway had only been about three years old in human years when Scandia had taken him, and they hoped the abuse had not started that early.

And none of them had any idea how to combat the fact that Norway had been told that he never should have been born.

"But why would he feel that way? We've never given Nor any reason to think that we hate him."

"I'm not sure, although the fact that you spent a few hundred years treating him like your property probably doesn't help. And, I think he's afraid that you secretly blame him for your mother's death, especially since you're old enough to remember her."

"But her death wasn't Nor's fault! She would have died anyway."

Those words hung in the air, as silence fell. That statement went against much of what had been previously known. It had never been something that was really talked about, but the whole family had known that that the mother of the Scandinavians had died when Norway was born. The logical conclusion from that fact was that she had died because of his birth, and that certainly seemed to be what Norway had been told by Scandia.

"Norja believes that it was his fault, though. He's never been told differently. And, he thinks that's the reason for the things his father did to him. But, if what he was told is a lie, then what really happened?"

"She got hurt right before he was born, and that was why she died. She knew she was dying." That was about all that Denmark really remembered, since he had only been around five or six years old at the time, and hadn't been told much about what was happening. He knew enough to be certain that their mother had died from injuries received in some kind of accident, but it had never occurred to him to mention this before.

"You need to tell Norja about this. Knowing the truth might help him to recover—it might help him realize that he isn't to blame for his mother's death."

"If I'd had any idea what was being done to Nor, I would have told him. I was supposed to protect him."

"You did protect him. You were the one who found out that Scandia was hurting him. If you hadn't, then Scandia might have stayed longer, and something worse might have happened. The important thing is that we know about what happened to Norja, and that we are doing everything we can to help him. And, we don't know if anything would have happened differently if you had told him before." Finland looked over at the clock, trying to figure out whether or not Norway had had enough time alone yet. "In a few more minutes, I'm going to go back upstairs to talk to Norja. And, then, I think we all need to talk to him. He needs to know that we all care about him, and that we don't agree with the things that Scandia was telling him. If we can make him see that we care about him, then we might have a chance of getting through to him."

That was still the best plan any of them could come up with. They could only hope that it would be enough and that they had enough time to make it work. The cost of failure was too high in this situation, and none of them wanted to pay it. None of them even wanted to consider the fact that they might lose Norway if they did not find a way to help him soon.

* * *

**Author's notes:**

Since today is the one year anniversary of the day I posted "Family Secrets," I thought it was a good day to post this chapter. The next chapter should be out sometime later this month, or by early April at the latest. I'm already working on it, but it looks like it will be a long chapter unless I find a good place to break it up. (If I don't, it might be closer to the length of chapter eleven, if not longer.)

This is the first time I've really mentioned what happened to the mother of the three Scandanavians, although I think I've said that she died when Norway was born. However, what really happened is a little more complicated than that, and will be revealed in a later chapter. In the meantime, does anyone want to guess what really happened?


	20. Chapter 20

**Author's notes:** I found a place to break up the chapter, so it's getting posted a little earlier than I planned. All warnings from previous chapters may still apply, including the new one added last chapter, for discussion of possible character death.

Chapter Twenty

Norway had barely eaten any of his breakfast—in fact, it was hard to tell from looking at the plate if he had eaten anything. He was sitting up in bed, so at least he still had enough strength for that—which meant that his condition hadn't gotten that bad yet. His mostly untouched breakfast was still on a tray by the bed. A spare pillow had been placed under his injured ankle the night before, as it needed to be kept elevated for the next few days, but at some point after being left alone he had removed that pillow. He seemed to be deep in thought about something, but he was alert enough to turn his head in the direction of the door when he heard someone approaching. A brief look of fear appeared in his eyes, but then disappeared again when he recognized his visitor. As soon as he had seen who had entered the room, he turned his gaze back to the wall.

"Are you feeling any better, Norja?" Finland asked, choosing not to comment on the uneaten breakfast for the time being, or on the fact that Norway seemed determined to either ignore or improperly treat his injury. Bringing up either of those things would not be the best way to start this conversation.

"A little," Norway answered. The visible bruises and pain that could be seen in his eyes contradicted those words, though. "I still don't feel like talking, though."

Finland sat down in the chair that had been pulled up to the side of the bed. "Norja, you need to talk about this. You can't keep doing this to yourself."

Norway did not reply, or give any sign of what he might be thinking.

"Do you realize what you're doing to yourself?"

Once again, Norway did not reply.

"You could have been seriously injured yesterday morning—you could even have been killed. None of us want to see you get killed. We all care too much about you to just stand by and let you keep doing this."

"You keep saying that you care, but you still told them something I didn't want them to know." Although, he had finally replied, Norway kept his gaze focused on the far wall.

"I thought they should know that you might be in danger. None of us want to take the chance of losing you. And we're not going to just stand by and watch you keep doing this to yourself."

"I could leave again. Then you wouldn't have to see." Norway still kept his gaze averted as he spoke.

"Norja, that wasn't what I meant. We just want you to stop doing this to yourself." As relieved as he was to at least be getting some response, Finland could tell that it was going to be very difficult to get through to Norway. It might be even more difficult than when he had convinced Norway to come home. "We just want to help you."

"I don't need help." Norway still kept his gaze focused on the far wall, and his voice was devoid of any signs of emotion—even more so than usual.

"You're going to end up killing yourself if you keep doing this. Do you realize that?"

Once again, Norway did not respond or give any sign that he had heard.

"Norja, please. You need to stop doing this before it's too late." Finland tried not to think about how little time might be left before it was too late.

For the first time since the beginning of the conversation, Norway turned to look at him. No sign of any emotion could be seen on his face. Even his eyes were completely devoid of emotion. He still did not say anything.

Finland had no idea how to get Norway to actually respond to him this time. This really was the most difficult conversation they'd had since that first one, but the other times they had spoken, Norway had actually been willing to talk. This time it was obvious that he did not want to talk about what was bothering him, and it seemed that nothing anyone could do would make him change his mind about that.

And it was so difficult to just sit there, and watch Norway going through all this, and not being able to do anything. It was as if there was this chasm in front of them, that the rest of the family was aware of, but that Norway could not see for some reason. But, despite not being able to see that chasm, he was right at the edge of it, and another couple steps could send him right over the edge, and he would be lost. But, the others were powerless to help Norway unless he would admit that the danger was there. And getting him to see that was beginning to seem impossible.

"Norja, what happened yesterday morning?" Finland asked, after a few moments had passed in silence. He hoped that the direct question might force Norway to at least answer that much.

For a little while, it seemed like Norway wasn't going to answer. He had turned away again, and did not speak for a few moments. At last, he said, "I tried to go into my room."

"Did something frighten you?" That was one of the more likely explanations for what had happened after all, especially given the fact that Norway had clearly been afraid of something upstairs.

Norway still kept his gaze focused on the far wall, and did not answer.

"Norja, it's understandable if something did frighten you. We all know what happened to you, and none of us are going to think less of you if were frightened by something."

"I think less of myself," Norway said, barely loud enough to be heard. "I'm supposed to be able to take care of myself—I need to be able to take care of myself. And I ran away from something—someone—that wasn't even there. But, I was so sure that he was there . . . I kept expecting him to show up at any second. I wasn't thinking about anything except getting away."

That was what the rest of the family had suspected had happened the previous morning, although they hadn't been sure. And given what they know about the dreams, and the possible danger, they had been half afraid that Scandia really had been there. It was somewhat of a relief to learn that that at least was not the case, but that didn't change the fact that Scandia was at least indirectly the cause of Norway's accident. But there were still unanswered questions, such as why Norway had gone upstairs in the first place, after refusing to do so for so long. "Is that why you didn't want to come upstairs before? You were worried that your father might be here?"

Norway kept his gaze fixed on the far wall, and when he spoke, he seemed to be completely detached from what he was saying. "He was waiting at the top of the stairs. I waited as long as I could to come up—I'd hoped he would go to bed, and I would be able to slip into my room without him doing anything. But, he was waiting for me. I couldn't get away from him, and I couldn't call for help. He said that if I did, he would tell everything how much of a freak of nature I was. When he knew that I wasn't going to try to get away, he suggested that we continue someplace more private. I didn't want to let him into my room, but when I hesitated he . . . he threatened Island. I . . . I couldn't let my child go through that, so I let _far_1 into my room—that night, and all the nights of his visit." As Norway had been talking, his voice had grown less detached, especially when he mentioned that Scandia had actually threatened Iceland.

This was the first time that Norway had spoken about an actual incident in any of the conversations. He had mentioned things that Scandia had said to him, but he had never really said more than that. And telling even what little he had of an incident had clearly been difficult for him, even with the level of detachment that he had maintained while he was speaking. He had grown paler than he had been before he started recounting the incident, and although he attempted to continue to appear emotionless, a haunted look could be seen deep in his eyes, when he finally turned his gaze away from the wall. "I _let_ him into my room," he said. "I didn't even try to stop him. After all this time, I should have been able to stop him."

"You were doing what you thought was necessary to protect your child. That's not something you need to be ashamed of." Finland wasn't sure if that was the right thing to say to Norway, but he knew that he didn't want Norway to keep feeling ashamed for not having been able to stop Scandia.

"But it wasn't enough. He still found out everything that I tried so hard to keep him from learning. I didn't want him to ever learn about the circumstances of his birth, to know that his father wanted him to be killed before even had a chance at life. I wanted to protect him from the knowledge. And now that he knows, I've lost him. He's so ashamed of the truth that he doesn't want to be in the same room I'm in anymore."

While it was a relief that Norway was talking—and actually volunteering information about something that was bothering him—it seemed like he was trying to divert the conversation away from the chain of events that had led to his accident. But what he had said still needed to be addressed.

"Norja, I don't think you've lost him. He's worried that he reminds you of what Scandia did, and he's trying to make things easier for you." Finland wasn't sure if it was a good idea to tell Norway more than that about what was going on with Iceland. Considering that Norway had apparently spent most of his life being told that he should never have been born, it would hurt him to know that Iceland might have been thinking something similar. But, on the other hand, if nothing was said, it was never going to be addressed, since neither of them seemed capable of talking to the other lately.

"That's one of the reasons I didn't want him to find out," Norway said, after a few moments. "I didn't want him to think that. I'd hoped the letter would be enough to keep him from thinking that."

"He might need to actually hear that from you, rather than just reading it in a letter."

"I don't know if I can talk to him about this," Norway admitted. "There's so much of what happened, that I can't talk about. There are parts of it that . . ." He trailed off in mid-sentence, apparently not wanting to say whatever he had started to. "It's difficult enough to talk to you about any of this—I don't think I can say anything to any of the others."

"Have you ever talked about it before?" Outside of their previous conversations, that was. Finland was still hoping that Norway hadn't really gone through all of this on his own for so many years—that in some point in the past he had talked to someone about it.

"There wasn't anyone I could talk to when it was happening. And after he left, I wanted to believe it was over—except for the dreams. Those never really stopped. But I never believed he would come back for real. I never wanted anyone to find out that I was so weak."

"What your father did to you doesn't make you weak."

Of course, by the standards of the time when it had happened, that was exactly what it would have meant. But that wasn't the way anyone else in the family saw it now, and none of them thought less of Norway because of what had happened. It was getting Norway to believe that that was the problem.

Norway turned his attention back to looking at the wall, and did not say anything further. So, although, he had talked a little bit, in the end nothing had really come out of the conversation, and a solution was no closer than it had been.

* * *

The next few days went the same as that first one had. Norway continued to refuse to talk to the rest of the family. And, no matter how hard they tried, they were no closer to finding out about the chain of events that had led to his accident—they had no idea why he had gone upstairs when he continued to occasionally seem uncomfortable up there, and they had no idea exactly what may have caused him to fall. They suspected that he was hiding something related to those events, but they had no idea what that something could be.

They continued to keep as close an eye on him as they could, even going so far as to take turns watching over him throughout the night. None of them wanted to risk another accident, and ever since they had all learned about the fact that some danger may still exist, they had been worried that Scandia might find a way to harm Norway again. Secretly, they were worried that Scandia might have somehow been behind Norway's accident, but that seemed too unlikely to really take seriously as a possibility.

In addition to their concern over exactly how the accident had occurred, the rest of the family was concerned by the extent to which Norway seemed to be pulling away from them. It was more than just his refusal to talk about what was bothering him—he had also starting refusing to join them at the table for meals. And they were pretty sure that he still wasn't eating, as the trays that were brought to him were always returned mostly full. For the first few days, they had overlooked this refusal, believing that it was only because Norway was in too much pain from the injuries he had received. However, as the days passed, his injuries healed, and he still rarely left the room he was staying in.

The rest of the family was becoming increasingly aware of the fact that they were losing Norway, and that there might really be nothing they could do to save him, and still they hoped desperately for a miracle—knowing that a miracle might be the only chance Norway had.

What made the rest of the family really worried was the fact that Norway seemed to be getting weaker. Although his injuries were healing, it was happening at a slower rate than was normal. He rarely got out of bed anymore, and seemed to spend a lot of time sleeping. And he was still refusing to eat.

With every day that passed, they were becoming increasingly afraid that they might not be able to save Norway—that they really might lose him. Even the two members of the family who did not know how little time might be left were now becoming aware of that fact. But they were all still determined to find a way to save Norway.

* * *

Iceland had changed his mind about going back to his own home—too afraid that if he left he might never see Norway again. Not that he was seeing much of him as it was, since he was still avoiding Norway as much as possible. The two of them had not even been in the same room since the day of the accident, and Iceland did not take part in the vigil that the older members of the family were keeping over Norway.

However, despite having changed his mind about going home, and Iceland remained determined not to celebrate his birthday. The rest of the family had given up trying to get him to change his mind; they knew that one who had the best chance of doing so was currently not talking to anyone. However, no one thought that the decision not to celebrate had been the best one; there was just nothing that could be done about it. And they were a little worried about the reason that might lay behind that decision.

By the time the morning of the 17th actually arrived though, a compromise had been reached regarding Iceland's birthday. Although there wasn't going to be any big celebration, they at least were going to be doing something at dinner.

And they were hoping to convince Norway to actually come downstairs for dinner—although at this point they would be happy if they could just get him to eat something.

* * *

Norway basically ignored the breakfast tray once it had been brought up and left on the bedside table. And, like the last several mornings, he didn't bother to get up. Whenever he had to get up for any reason lately, he was having bouts of lightheadedness that were getting more frequent. Adding to that the fact that he still couldn't put much weight on his ankle, it was just too effort to get out of bed unless he really needed to.

He knew that eating something might make him feel less lightheaded at least, but he just couldn't bring himself to eat anything. Sometimes even just the thought of trying to force down more than a few bites made him feel sick. But, he was sure he still had time before the problem became something he couldn't handle. And, it was just one more thing that he didn't want to talk about.

Between his increasing weakness, and the fact that he was trying to avoid conversation, Norway spent most of the time either sleeping or pretending to be asleep. The only bit of information that he had volunteered had been so that he could avoid having to reveal that there were gaps in his memory of some recent events. He still could not remember going upstairs that night before the accident, just like he couldn't remember what had happened back in January that had led to his family being sent away.

Norway had almost fallen asleep again, (after not having eaten any of his breakfast) when he heard the sound of the door opening. And he knew that the few moments he was allowed to be alone for each day were over, or would be over once the untouched tray had been taken downstairs. He did not even bother to open his eyes to see who had entered the room. He knew whoever it was would take the tray downstairs, and that someone would be up to watch over him. And, he hoped that by pretending to be asleep, he could avoid receiving a lecture about the fact that he hadn't eaten.

His ruse apparently worked, as he was left alone again, at least for the time being.

* * *

"Norja didn't eat anything again this morning," Finland said, as he brought the full tray back into the kitchen. "I don't think he's eaten anything for a few days, at least. I really don't know what to do for him anymore." He wouldn't have added that last sentence if Denmark or Iceland had been in the kitchen, as he still didn't want them to know how little time might be left. But he had talked about this with Sweden, and they were both aware of the gravity of the situation.

"W' still have some time, w'll f'nd some way t' save him. Norge's survived t' much t' let himself die like th's."

It was true that Norway had survived a lot—and that wasn't even taking into consideration the things that Scandia had done to him. He had lost at least two thirds of his population to the plague, and then gone through several years of not being strong enough to be on his own. Then, after only a few decades of independence he had been occupied during the War. No one in the family knew exactly what had happened to him during that time, but they suspected by some of the few things Norway had said about that time that something bad had happened. And, they did know some of what had happened to his people during that time—they just did not know what, if anything, had happened to him personally.

However, none of the family was really convinced that the fact that Norway had managed to survive all those things meant he would be alright now. It was the only hopeful thought they had, though, as they continued to have to watch Norway's condition deteriorate. But at the same time, it was something that made it harder to keep hoping, because they were afraid that Norway may have lost whatever strength had gotten him through all those things—they were really afraid that he might not even care if he survived anymore.

"I think we may need to consider taking him back to the hospital. If nothing else, the doctors would be able to force him to eat." They couldn't really do that unless there was serious danger, though. And by then, it might be too late. "Where is everyone else?" Finland asked, as the rest of the family had all still been in the kitchen when he'd gone up to get the tray.

"Sealand's out in th' yard," Sweden answered. "And Danmark 'nd Island are probably in th' living room." The living room was the room that was the closest to stairs, and therefore the best place for being able to hear sounds from upstairs.

"I'm surprised Tanska hasn't already gone upstairs. I don't think he'd leave Norja's side at all, if we hadn't all agreed to take shifts."

As difficult as it was for the whole family to watch Norway's condition continue to deteriorate with each day that passed, they knew that it was hardest for Denmark and Iceland, as those two were the closest to Norway. But they had very different approaches to the situation; Denmark spent as much time with Norway as possible, sometimes even staying in the room when it was technically someone else's shift, while Iceland continued to avoid even going into the room. But, despite the continuing avoidance, the other members of the family had noticed that Iceland still managed to check on his brother—he just tried to keep anyone else (especially Norway) from noticing that he did so.

"Are y' still going t' try t' get Norge t' come downstairs later?"

"If he's feeling well enough. I think he needs to, considering that today is his child's birthday. They still need to actually talk to each other, too."

By this point, the avoidance had gone on for long enough, that the rest of the family was becoming increasingly tempted to just lock Norway and Iceland in a room together, until they actually talked to each other. Whatever was going on with them was really not helping the situation, and may in fact be making things worse.

Plus, based on the way things had been going lately, the crisis that they were dreading might not be that far off, and if that turned out to be the case, then having that situation resolved might help make things easier.

Through the kitchen window, Sweden and Finland could see their son out in the yard, playing with the dog. The boy seemed to be the only family member unaffected by the shadow that hung over the rest of the household.

For a few moments, they stood by the window, watching their son out in the yard. They both knew there was one other thing they needed to do, before the crisis actually came.

"I think it's time we considered sending Sealand to stay with someone else for the rest of the summer," Finland said eventually. It was something they had both thought about, but had not yet actually spoken about. "We're all so focused on Norja right now, and if the situation gets worse, it's going to take even more of our attention. And depending on what happens, it may be something that a child shouldn't witness. The way things are going right now, Norja might not have much time left . . ." He would later regret that last statement.

The rest of the conversation was taken up with a discussion of where the best place would be to send their son to spend the rest of the summer.

They did not know that any part of their conversation had been overheard.

* * *

Norway was still asleep the next time that Finland went up to check on him. That wasn't too surprising, as Norway had been sleeping a lot since the accident. It was worrying though, as it made it clear that Norway's condition was worsening—that he was getting weaker.

It was also no surprise that Denmark had come upstairs, and was sitting in the chair by the bed. He was holding Norway's hand tightly.

"Has he been awake at all?"

"No."

"Well, the rest is good for him, but we'll need to wake him up in a few hours to try to get him to eat something." Although, if recent events were anything to go by it was unlikely that Norway would actually eat anything.

"He's getting worse again, isn't he?"

"I'm not sure. But, he will get worse if he doesn't start eating." That fact was no secret—the secret was how little time might be left before that would happen.

They both looked at Norway. It was obvious that he wasn't in the best condition. He was so pale and thin—and knowing the truth about his condition made it easy to see that he might actually be dying. Even without that knowledge though, it was still easy to see just how bad his condition was getting.

Denmark tightened his grip on Norway's hand, as if by doing so he could keep Norway there—keep him alive.

Norway was sleeping so deeply that he did not even seem aware of the pressure on his hand. That was also becoming common though, whenever his sleep was not bothered by nightmares it was very difficult to wake him up. On the other hand, though, if he was getting rest without nightmares that was a good thing—it might allow him to conserve what little strength he had left. It might be enough to buy some time before it was too late.

Although, it was becoming increasingly uncertain whether they had any chance of saving Norway, or whether they would really lose him to the aftermath of what Scandia had done.

* * *

The rest of that morning, and the most of the afternoon went about the same way that the previous several days had. The rest of the family had taken turns checking on Norway, making sure that he was alright, and that he didn't need anything. (And, although none of them wanted to admit it, reassuring themselves that he was still with them—that they hadn't lost him yet.) Norway had apparently slept for most of the morning, until they had managed to wake him up at lunchtime to try to get him to eat. He still left most of the food uneaten, although this time he did at least manage to eat a few bites.

The subject of whether or not Norway should come downstairs for dinner that day had not been brought up again. Although, the rest of the family agreed that he should, none of them really thought he was well enough. They could all see that his condition was deteriorating—even when they did not want to see it. And none of them were willing to risk doing anything that might use up what little strength he seemed to have left.

It wasn't until shortly before dinner that the subject was brought up, and then only because it seemed that it needed to be.

* * *

Norway had been left alone for a few moments, while the rest of the family discussed whether it was a good idea to try to get him to come downstairs. Of course, he had no way of knowing that was what they were discussing—in fact, he actually suspected that they were trying to come up with another way of trying to get him to talk to them about what was bothering him. So, he was not surprised when Finland came into his room around midafternoon.

"Norja, do you feel well enough to come downstairs for dinner later?"

Norway did not answer immediately. He was feeling a little stronger after having slept all morning, but he wasn't sure if he was ready for that—he didn't know if he was ready to be around the whole family. Plus, he knew the reason he was being asked to come downstairs was because it was Iceland's birthday, and he wasn't sure if Iceland wanted him there. He already knew that he was the reason Iceland hadn't wanted to celebrate his birthday. "I'm not sure," he said, after a few moments.

"I don't want to force you into something you're not ready for, Norja," Finland said. "But it might be good for you to join us, and I think it would be good for Islanti as well. He needs to know that you don't hold the circumstance of his conception against him."

This wasn't the first time this topic had been brought up, and Norway was aware that he needed to talk to Iceland. However, knowing that didn't make it easier to do so—he just found it too difficult to talk about all of this. He had been so young when Iceland was born, and he had been all alone, except for some of the Fae. That meant no one knew what had really happened, and so Norway had told everyone that he had found Iceland. As the years went by, he often wished that the lie he had told everyone was the truth. But he had never blamed Iceland for any of it, and he had tried to show that in the letter. He wasn't sure what else he could say, besides what was in the letter. And talking about anything that had happened was too painful.

There was more to it than just his inability to talk about any of this, though. Norway was unsure how Iceland felt about their true relationship. He knew Iceland was avoiding him, but he was not sure why. The only reason Norway could think of what was that Iceland was rejecting their true relationship—rejecting him. He remembered how Iceland had not even wanted to acknowledge that they were brothers—at least not until after their true relationship had been revealed.

"I'm not sure if Island would want me there," Norway admitted at last. "I don't want to ruin his birthday, if he has decided to celebrate it after all."

"Norja, the reason he didn't want to celebrate it is because he's afraid that his birth is a painful memory for you. He is afraid of being a reminder of what happened to you."

That was a reason that Norway hadn't thought of for why Iceland was avoiding him. However, he wasn't sure if he really believed that reason. The constant memories of the things Scandia had said to him—not to mention having been betrayed by one of his own people—had really shaken his confidence and made it hard for Norway to believe that anyone might really care about him. Even when he knew that his family cared about him there was still a persistent doubt, and the way Iceland kept avoiding him was feeding that doubt.

But then he remembered something that had happened at the beginning of April. It was after he had had that break down in the park. He remembered that his family had all stayed by him during that, and he remembered that when he had first become aware again after that, that Iceland had been beside him, and had actually been holding his hand.

With the emotional wringer that day had put him through, Norway had not really thought of that until now. Now that he had remembered he began to wonder if there had been other times that he had not been aware of. But for the first time since January, Norway began to think that maybe Iceland wasn't rejecting him, and he realized that he had to bridge the distance between them before it was too late.

That realization gave him the strength to say, "I think I can come downstairs."

* * *

The whole family was relieved that Norway had actually agreed to join them. He had needed to actually be carried downstairs, as he was still not fully recovered from his injuries—although none of them had wanted to take a chance with the stairs anyway. And they knew he wouldn't be able to stay up for long, due to his deteriorating condition.

Norway did seem to have actually made an effort to eat something at dinner, although he still left the majority of his food uneaten. And, he barely said anything during the meal, but that was at least somewhat normal.

They were all disturbed to see just how much weaker he had gotten in the last few days. He had lost more weight since the accident, and was back to the condition he had been in when he had been found back in December—before he'd had a couple of days to recover. And by the time dinner was over, it was clear that he was reaching the end of what energy he had, even after having done nothing more strenuous than sitting at the dinner table with the rest of the family.

But Norway had refused to let them take him back upstairs right after dinner. Although they were worried that he might push himself beyond what he had the strength for, they gave in and helped him to the living room instead. At least he could rest a little bit there, and it might be a good sign that he wasn't isolating himself in the spare room upstairs anymore.

That evening was the first time that Iceland had really seen the condition his brother was in. He had overhead enough conversations between some of the other members of the family to know that Norway's condition was worsening, but he hadn't been prepared for just how bad it was—not even after what he had overheard that morning. However, he was trying to forget about what had overheard, at least for the time being.

In the end, Iceland was glad that he had changed his mind about his decision to not celebrate his birthday, since that had apparently been what it took to get Norway to actually join the rest of the family again. However, the two of them had yet to actually speak to each other, so Iceland was surprised when Norway asked to talk to him after dinner.

They were left alone together in the living room, but several moments passed in silence, as neither seemed to know how to begin this conversation. And the last conversation they'd had hadn't exactly gone that well. The silence felt almost like a third presence in the room, and the distance between them still seemed impossible to bridge. But they were actually in the same room at least.

Norway was the first to break the silence. "Island, there's something we need to talk about." Despite having said they needed to talk, Norway did not seem able to say anything more, and the silence fell again. For several moments, the only sound was the ticking of the clock on the wall, but eventually Norway seemed to once again find the resolve to speak. "It was around this time that you were born." His gaze was focused on the clock.

Whatever Iceland had been expecting his brother to say, that wasn't it. He had suspected this conversation had something to do with the circumstances of his birth, but he expected it to be about more than the time. He realized though that this might be difficult for Norway to talk about, and so he kept silent and waited to see if his brother would continue speaking.

"I wasn't able to get you anything for your birthday this year," Norway continued after a few moments of silence. "But I think there is one thing I can give you, and I should have realized sooner that you needed this."

"I don't need anything from you." It was enough for him that Norway had made the effort to come downstairs. And the only thing he really wanted was for Norway to be alright—he didn't want his brother to die. He did not think about how his brother might interpret those words.

Norway was still not looking directly at his brother, but he had turned enough in that direction for it to be noticeable the way he flinched at those words. "I didn't want you to find out the truth—I wanted to protect you from knowing this." For the first time in the conversation, Norway looked directly at Iceland. "But since you did find out, there is one thing you need to know. I don't regret that you were born, and I don't blame you for what . . . for what our father did." That last part had clearly been difficult for him to say, and turning his gaze from his brother, he looked down at the floor. "I'm sorry to have left you with an origin you're ashamed of." That last sentence was barely above a whisper.

It was then that Iceland realized that Norway might have misinterpreted what he said—that there was another way that sentence could have been taken. "Noregur, I'm not ashamed of you." _I just don't want to lose you_, was what he wanted to say, but he could not bring himself to speak that sentence. He was afraid that saying it out loud would make what he was afraid of happen.

And he could see that Norway was withdrawing again, and the distance between them did not seem to be any less. Although Iceland was glad to know that Norway did not see him as a painful reminder, he was still afraid that Norway wouldn't survive. And he had no idea of how to save the one person who meant so much to him.

What could he do, when everything he said to his brother just seemed to make things worse

* * *

**Author's notes:**

In case it wasn't clear in this chapter, Iceland overheard the conversation between Sweden and Finland, and he heard Finland say that Norway might not have much time left.

I'm not sure I'm really happy with the way this chapter turned out, but it has some things that needed to happen in it, including a partial resolution to the misunderstanding.

Also, I feel I should give an explanation for why Norway doesn't seem to believe his family cares about him, even when they keep trying to make him see otherwise. The whole time he was growing up, his father was telling him that he was only good for one thing or that he never should have been born. And then in this story, Birger comes alone and tries to keep him away from his family's influence by telling him that his family didn't care about him (and cutting off all communication.) So, although Norway wants to believe his family cares about him, he's been told otherwise too many times, and he doesn't know who to believe anymore.

The next chapter will be out sometime in April. And, chapter twenty-one will answer the question of whether or not Scandia is still a threat.

Also, I want to thank _of quills on parchment_ for reviewing the last chapter, and let you know that you're on the right track as to who really caused the mother's death, but not what the circumstances were The full story behind that will be revealed in chapter twenty-two probably.

**Translation:**

1 Father


	21. Chapter 21

**Warnings: **Warnings from previous chapters may continue to apply, and this chapter does continue to deal with the possibility of character death.

Chapter Twenty-one

Any hopes the family might have had the events of Iceland's birthday represented a turning point in Norway's condition were quickly dashed. The next day, Norway refused to come downstairs, and did not even eat anything. Any attempts made by the rest of the family to talk to him were ignored.

With the evidence that Norway wasn't getting better and the knowledge of how little time might be left, Sweden and Finland made the difficult decision to send Sealand to stay with England for the rest of the summer. They both felt it was a good idea for Sealand to have some kind of relationship with his biological family. And they needed to be able to concentrate on Norway—before it was too late.

The deadline before it might be too late to save Norway was only a week away, and no one had any ideas yet how to save him.

There was one change that had happened since that night. Iceland had stopped avoiding Norway, and had in fact started taking a turn in the vigil that the rest of the family was keeping.

* * *

On June 20th, as Norway's condition continued to deteriorate his family took him back to the doctor. They did not want to repeat the mistake they had made back in January, when they had almost waited too long to get him medical help.

Like every other time, the rest of the family was left to wait while Norway was examined, and each time the wait got more difficult. They all knew that one of these times they were going to be given the news that all of them dreaded hearing. After a long wait, they were shown into the same room where they always spoke with the doctor.

The doctor wasted no time before telling them what they had been afraid of hearing, "Haldor's condition is very serious, although you probably already realized that. He does not have any serious complications yet, but I am still worried he may develop them soon. And if he does, that will decrease his chances of survival."

"He hasn't responded to any of the things we've tried to do for him. Over the past few days, he has withdrawn almost completely from us. It started after his accident, but now we can't seem to be through to him at all."

"He did something similar before," the doctor told them. "After that incident in January, Haldor seemed very withdrawn. He was like that until early April. Although he was getting better physically during those months, everyone except Birger was concerned about his emotional state. Haldor seemed to have shut down almost completely, but Birger claimed that that was completely normal for him."

They hadn't known anything about this before, although the whole family had noticed that there was something off about the way Norway had been acting when they had seen him at the world meeting in March. However, they had seen him for such a short time then that none of them had really been sure. They all remembered his breakdown in April though—that incident was something they probably wouldn't forget in a hurry. They were all used to Norway rarely showing emotions, or any other sign of weakness, and seeing him lose control like that had made it clear to all of them just how much pain he was in.

"You said he still improved physically during that time, though?"

"Yes, but that was mainly because he was kept in the hospital until he had started to recover. And we could do that again, but I don't think it would do much more than buy some time. Given what has already happened, it is unlikely that Haldor will recover unless what caused this is dealt with."

It always came down to the same problem. They were limited as to what treatment methods could be used because of Norway's status—any kind of psychological help for nations was virtually unheard of. There were just too many aspects of their lives that could not be revealed to ordinary humans. And Norway did not seem willing to talk to anyone from his family, and it was unlikely he would talk to any other nation. He kept himself at too much of a distance from other nations to be able to talk to them, and they suspected he would not want to take the risk of revealing his secret—not with the use other nations might find to make of that secret.

"What else was done for him before?" They knew a little about the things that Birger had done that had led to this current relapse, as they had been in the room when Norway had been questioned about it, but they did not know what other things had been done—things that might have actually helped.

"Once Haldor was discharged from the hospital, he went to stay with Birger," the doctor said. "As far as I know, Birger did not allow him to leave the house except to go to the office and to come here for check-ups. Haldor was seeing a psychologist for a while, but that was stopped sometime in March. He refused to talk to her, as far as I know. I don't know much about the other restrictions Birger placed on him, but I'm sure there were some.

They had already known most of that, and that information didn't bring them any closer to finding a solution—all it did was increase the anger they had already felt towards Birger. Whatever they learned made it clearer that Birger had taken the worst possible course of action—good intentions or not. However they were quickly becoming aware of how difficult it was to find the right course.

"What is Haldor's current condition?"

"He has mostly recovered from his injuries, and his ankle has healed well enough that he can begin to put some weight on it. However, he is suffering from malnutrition and low blood pressure. If he remains in this condition much longer, there will be increased risk of organ failure and eventually, death. He is currently being given an IV treatment—just to try to get some nutrients into his system. When that is completed, you can take him home."

This was the first time that it had been openly stated that Norway might die. By now the rest of the family had kind of suspected that, but not all of them were ready to accept the possibility.

"Is there still a chance to save him?" Iceland asked. He had overheard the conversation between Sweden and Finland, so he had been aware of the possibility that Norway might die. But hearing the doctor say it like that made it real, and he wasn't ready for it to be a real possibility.

"There is a chance," the doctor said. "I don't know how much of one, because it all depends on whether he continues with his current behavior. If he continues not eating, he will die—he probably won't survive through the summer."

The rest of the conference was taken up by another strategy session—one which failed to yield anymore solutions than any of the previous ones had. The one difference was that the doctor wanted to see Norway more often—in the hope of catching any complications as soon as possible.

* * *

Once they were back at the house, the family gathered in the living room to continue the strategy session. Norway had been settled upstairs in the bedroom he had been using for the past couple of weeks—the trip out had taken most of what little strength he had left, and he had fallen asleep almost as soon as they had gotten him settled. The rest of the family hated seeing how weak Norway was getting, and it just fueled their need to come up with a way to help him—before it was too late.

"How long have you known that Nor was dying?"

"W' don't know th't he's dying. W' just havn't been in denial about th' possibility."

It hadn't taken long for this strategy session to start degenerating into an argument. At some point during the earlier strategy session it had become obvious that Sweden and Finland had already known that Norway might not survive past the end of the summer. It had only been the presence of a human that had kept the impending fight from breaking out then.

Finland attempted to intervene before a fight could actually break out. "After Norja was hurt, I asked the doctor about his prognosis. I was hoping to find a way to help him, and in the course of the conversation, I found out that he might not survive past the end of the summer. I didn't tell you because it's not definite. There's still a chance that we might be able to save Norja And arguing about this isn't doing anything to help Norja."

For the time being, that seemed to prevent the fight that had been developing, but it might be only a matter of time before it broke out again. The two older Scandinavians didn't get along that well under good circumstances, but their shared concern for their little brother was the only thing keeping them from fighting right now. At the same time, it was what lay behind their most recent arguments—the fact that it was easier for them to blame each other for not having done a better job of protecting Norway than it was for them to blame themselves.

"But what can we do to help him?"

"According the doctor, the best thing we can do is get Norja to talk to us. And I think we should try to get him out of that room more, maybe even get him out into the yard. Keeping him shut up in here isn't that different than what Birger did." There was a slight difference in the fact that they weren't practically holding Norway prisoner like Birger apparently had. But they had kept him basically confined the house, since earlier in the month. And they should have realized sooner that that wasn't the best thing to do for him—that in fact, it might be one of the worse things they could do.

* * *

Over the next few days, Norway's condition continued to deteriorate. Although the rest of the family tried everything they could think of to help him, nothing worked.

The other members of the family spent as much time as they could in Norway's room, trying to find a way to get through to him, but with every day that passed, he seemed to withdraw even more.

Although they had come up with the plan to try to get him out of his room, they were unsuccessful at actually putting that plan into action. Norway refused to leave the room and end his self-imposed exile, and beyond making sure that he got any medical care that he needed, the rest of the family did not want to force him.

They could see that they were losing him, and felt completely powerless to do anything to stop what they could see happening.

Another thing they had noticed was how much he was sleeping lately. They weren't sure if that was an attempt at avoiding having to talk to them, or if it was another sign of Norway's worsening condition—it may even have been both.

By the time June 25th had arrived, with no signs of improvement in Norway's condition, the rest of the family had called to report that they would not be attending July's world meeting. They claimed the reason was because of a family emergency, which was the truth, although they gave no more details than that. However, given the rumors that had been going around for close to a year at this point, they knew that at least some other nations would guess what was going on. There had been some debate about whether or not it was a good idea for the whole family to miss the meeting, or if at least one of them should try to attend. But, given the way things were going, none of them wanted to be away from Norway right now—they were too worried that his condition might worsen, and that if they left, they might never see him again.

They had no idea just how close the crisis that they all feared was at this point.

* * *

_There was nothing but darkness around him. Norway knew this darkness, and knew that it was only a matter of time before Scandia appeared. The worst of the visitations always began like this, with this featureless darkness._

_ Gradually, his vision began to adjust, but there was still nothing around him to see—nothing that he could use to orient himself. There was nothing but this featureless void. He could not even see the ground he was standing on—he could only feel it under his feet._

_ The longer he stood there, on a ground he could not see, the more his apprehension grew. At any moment, he expected Scandia to appear, to hurt him and to remind him how he had ruined everything by being born. But time passed—he could not tell how much time—and still Scandia did not appear._

_ After some time, the darkness in front of him began to lift a little, although he could still feel it pressing in on him from every other direction, there now seemed to be a clear path in front of him._

_ Nothing about this time was like any of the previous times, and Norway was growing increasingly uneasy. He knew he was dreaming—because this was how all the dream visitations started—but the fact that so much time had passed made him realize that there was something different about this time. And he knew he could not get out of there until he was allowed to. He never got to choose when the dreams ended._

_ Just in case, he tried to concentrate on making himself wake up, but after a few moments, he was still in that same featureless dark void. And he knew that he was trapped here._

_ The lighter area in front of him was starting to really look like a path, but he hesitated to go down it. He did not know why Scandia had not appeared, but he was afraid that path might be some kind of trap. But there was nothing there except the path, and he was not sure how long he could stay here in this featureless darkness._

_ After a few more minutes had passed, the darkness seemed to press in on him even more and the unseen ground he was standing on began to feel less solid. Fear of falling into the surrounding void forced him to take a couple of steps onto the path. Every time he stopped, the process would repeat, and he knew he was being herded deeper into whatever this place was._

_ Norway had gone some distance down the path before he was allowed to stop long enough to see that everything behind him had disappeared, leaving only the same featureless void that was off the sides of where he stood. He couldn't go back now—he really was trapped here._

_ Everything around him was dark, except the faint illumination that lit the path in front of him. His apprehension increased even more when he realized he was trapped. Except for those times when the scene itself had changed, he had never before left that initial area._

_ He was starting to wonder if this was really what he had first thought or if something else had happened when he heard the sound of footsteps from somewhere out in the darkness. He froze, knowing that what he had dreaded was about to happen, and after he had begun to allow himself to think the dreams had stopped._

_ Norway was not surprised a few moments later to see Scandia step out of the shadows._

_ Scandia closed the remaining distance between them, and then his hand closed around Norway's upper arm, the grip as painfully tight as usual. "So, you found your way here. You could just have come with me I told you to; things would have been so much easier."_

_ "What do you want?" Norway was unable to completely conceal his apprehension. It was always like this when he was confronted with his father—there was some part of him that was still the frightened child that hadn't been able to understand the things his father did to him._

_ "I'm doing what should have done years ago and getting rid of you. You've proven to be very hard to get rid of, especially considering that you never should have been born."_

_ Norway had known for some time that his father wanted him dead, but something had kept him from telling his family. Even when he had talked about the dreams, he hadn't made it clear that there had been an attempt on his life, although he had admitted to having been injured in one of the dreams. It had only been the knock on his bedroom door that had saved him that time. If he hadn't been woken up by that knock, he would have bled to death before his family had actually gotten around to breaking down the door._

_ "This time, I'm taking no chances that you wake up too soon," Scandia continued, in a reference to that last time. "Of course, this time you didn't lock the door, which means you'll be found sooner. But they won't be able to do anything to save you. If they even try—they might be glad to finally be rid of you, considering what a burden you've been to them lately. Although, this isn't the first time you've been a burden to them—how many centuries did your older brothers have to take care of you for?"_

_ Norway wanted to believe that his family would find a way to help him, or at least that they would care enough to try, but he wasn't sure if they would be able to do anything. He knew that there was nothing he could do to save himself—years of experience with these dreams had taught him the painful lesson that he was powerless here. The other accusation Scandia had made—that he was a burden to his family—he did not even want to think about._

_ He struggled to get away, but his father's grip on his arm only grew tighter, and soon he felt himself being dragged off the path—away from any chance of ever finding his way out. That was the last thing he knew before everything went dark._

* * *

The rest of the family did not know anything was wrong at first. Although they had taken turns watching over Norway that night, as they did every night, they could not tell what was happening to him. As far as they could tell, he was sleeping peacefully, with no signs that the nightmares he had had before were returning. And certainly with no sign of the danger he was currently in.

It wasn't until the next morning that they discovered something was wrong.

Ever since that first day after he had been injured, they always left him alone for a little while before bringing breakfast up to him. This morning there was some concern that he hadn't woken up yet when they left the room—they were worried that if he woke up while no one was in the room with him that he might do something that would lead to his getting hurt again. However, despite their concern, they had noticed that Norway was sleeping a lot more lately, and they just assumed he needed the extra rest because of the condition he was in.

Even when the attempt to wake him up for breakfast failed, they didn't worry too much about it. After all, Norway wasn't in very good condition right now, and he probably needed the rest. Of course, he did need to eat as well, but they just decided they would try again to get him to eat something when he woke up.

As soon as breakfast time was over, Denmark had gone upstairs to be with Norway. The others knew that he would spend most of the day there, although they would also spend a fair amount of time upstairs.

A short time later, Iceland had also gone upstairs. Ever since the misunderstanding had been resolved, he had started spending almost as much time with Norway as Denmark did. Although he was only partially aware of thinking this way, Iceland hoped that by spending time around Norway, he could make his brother see that he was not ashamed of their true relationship.

Sweden and Finland had stayed downstairs. Although they were just as concerned about Norway as the other two were, they did not have the same degree of attachment to him that Denmark and Iceland did. The five of them may be a family, but they were a family made up of two separate family units, and Denmark, Norway, and Iceland were one of those family units. So, they tried to give that smaller part of the family some time alone each day. In the meantime, they found other things to attend to, such as making sure the breakfast dishes were taken care of and anything that needed to be done around the house was done.

Around mid-morning, Finland went upstairs to check on Norway, as he did most mornings. He was a little concerned to see that Norway was still sleeping, but did not worry too much about it. After all, he did not know if Norway had been awake at any point during the past few hours, and it did not look like anything was seriously wrong.

"Has he been asleep the whole time you've been up here?" Finland asked.

"Yes," Denmark answered. The tight grip he had on Norway's hand made it obvious how worried he was.

Finland took a closer look at Norway. There was no obvious sign that anything new was wrong. Norway seemed to be breathing normally and wasn't showing any obvious signs of distress—in fact he just appeared to be sleeping peacefully. But it was a little worrisome that he had been asleep for over twelve hours at this point.

Considering that their previous attempts to wake him up that morning had failed, and the fact that he was still asleep, though, Finland suspected that something might be seriously wrong with Norway. He didn't want to say anything to the others in the room yet, but he suspected that what they had all been afraid of might be happening—that it might now be too late to save Norway.

* * *

**Author's notes:** I wanted to have this chapter out a few days ago, but school's been extra busy lately, and the holiday weekend put me behind schedule a little.

The next chapter should be out by the end of the month or by early May at the latest. I've got a pretty clear outline for it, and have already written a few scenes. So don't worry about having to wait too long for a resolution to the cliffhanger.

I don't think I have any specific explanatory notes for this chapter, as a lot of what's left unexplained here will be dealt with in the next chapter.

Please review. I'd like to know if people are still following this story.


	22. Chapter 22

**Warnings:** Any warnings from previous chapters could still apply, and there is some stuff in this chapter that could be interpreted as suicidal thoughts.

Chapter Twenty-two

As soon as the rest of the family had realized that something was seriously wrong with Norway, they had taken him to the hospital. Once there, Norway had been taken back into the examination area—his status and the apparent seriousness of his condition determining that he was given immediate attention. The rest of the family was left in the waiting area to await news on his condition. And this time, more than any of the previous times, they were dreading what that news might be.

The day wore on, and by mid-afternoon still one had come to talk to them. They had seen some government officials arrive earlier, but they weren't sure what that fact told them about Norway's condition. And the length of time they had been left to wait was giving them plenty of time to imagine the worst.

Surely, though, considering where they were, there would have been some sign if the worst had happened. And yet, they were worried that it might be too late—that any chance they might have to save Norway was gone.

Finally the doctor came out into the waiting area and asked them to accompany him to the room where their previous conversations had all taken place. Once there, he did not make them wait any longer.

"I'm sorry to have made you wait so long, but we've been having trouble figuring out exactly what's wrong with Haldor. He appears to be in some kind of comatose state, but we cannot find a physical cause for his condition—it is not related to the malnutrition. And it also does not seem to be caused by a national incident—as the government is not aware of anything that could have put him in this state."

"Will he be alright?"

"I don't know. He could come out of this state on his own and have no ill-effects from it, or he could stay like this indefinitely. There is also a chance that his condition could continue to deteriorate, but everything possible is going to be done to prevent that." Anticipating the question that they were probably about to ask, he said, "In a few moments, I will have you taken back to see him. First though, I have some questions I need to ask you about what happened this morning. This morning, when you were trying to wake him up, before you brought him in here, did any of you grab his arm at any point?"

"No. We were careful not to do anything like that, because he has reacted badly to being touched before." Of course, none of them wanted to tell the doctor any more than that, as it was really Norway's secret to reveal or not, depending on what he chose. However, they were a little worried that Scandia might have something to do with Norway's current condition, in which case, it might become necessary to say something.

"During the examination, I noticed that Haldor had a bruise on his upper arm," the doctor said. "It looks almost like someone grabbed hold of his arm in order to restrain him. Do you have any idea how he could have gotten that, if none of you grabbed his arm?"

The rest of the family all had a pretty strong suspicion what was going on—that it had something to do with the nightmares Norway had been having. And they all knew about the hand-shaped bruise Norway had had on his shoulder the previous summer, although only one of them had actually seen the bruise. Given the way that Norway reacted to having his shoulder touched, they suspected that Scandia may have frequently used that method to restrain him. Adding in the fact that Norway had implied that he had been hurt in a previous dream, they believed that Scandia had somehow caused the bruise. But they did not tell the doctor this, knowing how hard to believe that scenario would be. Unless they were sure that was what was going, they did not want to be the ones to reveal Norway's secret.

"I may need to question you about this further, but for now, I will take you to see Haldor," the doctor said, after it became clear they weren't going to answer. "You need to be prepared for his condition before you see him, though. He is hooked up to several monitors, and we are giving him nutrients through an IV. If he remains in this state for much longer, he will be put on a feeding tube, but at the moment there is some disagreement as to just what level of supportive care Haldor should be given."

* * *

The doctor's words could not fully prepare them for seeing Norway. Although they had known something was seriously wrong when they brought him in, nothing could have prepared them for seeing him in this condition. Even knowing the machines surrounding the bed were monitors rather than life support did not make the sight of Norway lying so still in the hospital bed any easier to bear. If anything, it made the rest of the family even more aware of what they were afraid would happen—that they would lose him.

For a few moments, none of them said anything or went any further into the room. The only sound came from some of the monitors.

Denmark was the first to enter the room, and approach the bed. He took hold of Norway's hand, being careful not to disturb any of the monitors.

The others followed a few moments later, but none of them made any attempt to touch Norway.

"You can stay in here with him for a little while," the doctor said. "You'll have to leave at the end of visiting hours, though, at least today. Later, we may make an exception to that rule, to make sure that Haldor won't be alone—especially since you seem to be the only ones who actually know what's going on with him."

With that, they were left alone with Norway, and they all took up stations around the bed. None of them were quite sure what they could do. They didn't even know if Norway was aware of their presence at all, or if he would hear if they talked to him.

* * *

_When awareness returned, Norway had no idea where he was. He was still surrounded by darkness, but now he was lying on some kind of hard surface. The last thing he remembered was being on that path, and Scandia showing up. Then there was nothing but darkness._

_ Somehow he knew that he had been brought deeper into whatever this place was—so deep that he might not be able to find his way back. For a little while, he wondered if there was even anything to go back to—or if this place was some kind of afterlife. After all, that would make sense if Scandia had brought him here._

_ Eventually, he dismissed the worry. After all, he could feel some soreness in his arm from where Scandia had been holding him, and that told him that he was probably still alive. He just had no idea how to get out of this place. _

_ And he did not know how soon Scandia might return, but he knew he would not be left alone indefinitely. He did not think that Scandia would have gone to the trouble of bringing him here just to leave him alone somewhere and not do anything to him._

_ He wondered if his family had discovered he was in trouble yet, and although he did not like to think it, he also wondered if Scandia had been right and they wouldn't care. Before, he had been able to push that thought away, but now that doubt had returned. Although he did not want to admit it, he was afraid of what might happen, and it made things worse to think that his family might have abandoned him._

_ He had no sense of how much time had passed while he had been unaware, and even now he had no idea how much time was passing. At this point he did not even know if time had any meaning in this place, but he suspected that the longer he stayed here the less his chances of being able to leave._

_ An indeterminate amount of time later, he heard footsteps, and Scandia appeared out of the darkness._

_ "It was easier than I thought it would be to bring you here," Scandia said. "I guess you're even weaker than I realized. But then, I've known since you were born that you would be nothing but a weakling."_

_ Norway didn't need his father to tell him how weak he was. The fact that he had never been able to stand up to his father made that perfectly clear. But he couldn't even remember when the whole thing had started—what little he could remember of his childhood was after the abuse had started. He knew that there were probably memories that he had blocked out, in addition to the ones that he did remember, as most of his childhood was a blank spot in his memory._

_ Scandia was still talking. "I hoped you would outgrow it, but the first night after I brought you to live with me you wouldn't stop crying because you wanted to be back with your brothers. That was when I knew you would never amount to anything."_

_ Norway had only been three years old in human years when he had gone to live with his father. He did not remember having lived with his brothers until he was older, and he did not remember having missed them._

_ He was still on the ground where he had woken up, not having found the strength to move before Scandia had appeared, and now Scandia came and stood over him. Looking up at his father, Norway braced himself for what he knew was about to happen._

* * *

The other Nordics had stayed with Norway for a little over an hour before they had been told to leave. They had gotten used to being able to stay with him all the time, so it was very difficult for them to leave him—especially considering his current condition.

The next morning, they had gone back as early as they could as they were anxious to find out if there had been any change in Norway's condition during the night. They had to wait for a little while before the doctor came out to lead them back to the room where their conversations always took place.

As soon as they were all settled in that room, the doctor filled them on what was going on with Norway's condition. "Haldor is still unconscious, and he seems to be getting weaker. He also has a couple of new bruises on his shoulders—it looks almost as if someone may have been holding him down, but no one was in his room at the time. At this point, if you know something about what is going on with Haldor, I think you need to tell me. His life may depend on it."

For a few moments none of them spoke. They still weren't sure whether they should tell a human any of this, but eventually, they began to tell a shortened version of what was going on. They told about Scandia, and what little they knew of the abuse, as well as of the dreams that Norway had had. The only major piece of information they left out was the fact that Iceland was Norway's child, because that at least was something that humans should not be allowed to know about. Once they had finished the recounting, silence fell again.

The doctor seemed to take a few moments to think about what had just been revealed before speaking. "As difficult as all that seems to be to believe, it does match with some of the information we've managed to find out. It might also explain why Haldor has been so reluctant to answer our questions. He must have told Birger, and then Birger accused him of being irrational. That might explain why he ran away, too, as the one time he apparently tried to tell someone the truth, he was accused of being crazy—although I have to say parts of the story do seem crazy. Would you be willing to repeat this information to someone from the government as well? They should know about the danger that Haldor might be in."

"We really shouldn't have even told you anything, as it is something that Haldor didn't want anyone to know about. He didn't even tell us, we found out when we caught his father in the act," Finland said.

Truthfully, none of them thought there was much that the government could be to do to protect Norway—he was already trapped someplace where Scandia was obviously able to hurt him. And, no one could reach him there, at least not without some kind of magical help, which none of them had access to. Norway was the only one in the family with that kind of magic, and he was the one who needed help—help that none of them could give him.

"Someone from the government is going to have to be told, regardless," the doctor said. "It might be possible to ensure that the information does not go past a select group, but I am obligated to inform them about what is going on with Haldor."

That was after all the standard procedure. Any physical problems that affected the nations had to be reported to the government, and the cause was also to be reported, if known. In this case, though, the situation really was something that the government probably shouldn't get involved in. After all, the one time they had been involved, things hadn't exactly gone that well. But there were no usable objections really to the government being informed about what was going on, other than that it just didn't seem like the right thing to do.

* * *

The rest of the family never did speak to Norway's government about what was going on, although they did learn some of what had happened when the situation had been reported. It turned out that their story matched what Norway had told Birger, and was in fact the reason Birger had accused him of being irrational. And, once it had been revealed that he had known the truth and dismissed it, Birger had ended up in even more trouble. There were apparently some people who wanted him to be held at least partially responsible if Norway did not survive.

As days passed, and Norway's condition remained unchanged, the rules about how much time his family was allowed to spend with him were relaxed slightly. They were allowed to stay at the hospital with him as much as they wanted, as long as they left the room when they were asked to, and did not let it be generally known that the rules were being bent for them. There seemed to be a belief that their presence increased the chances that Norway would recover, and it was the standing order that anything that increased Norway's chances of surviving was to be done.

The other Nordics spent as much time with Norway as the hospital staff allowed them to. On the second day, they had started talking to him, in the hope that they might be able to reach him. Although they tried not to say it, what they all really wanted to say was to beg him to survive—to come back to them.

Despite everything that was being done to help him, Norway continued to get weaker with every day that passed, and he remained comatose.

Although the other Nordics weren't told how serious Norway's condition really was, they could tell just by seeing the increase in the amount of machines in the room. It wasn't until a week had passed that they were told just how serious the situation had become.

They were summoned back to the same room where they always talked to the doctor, and before they entered the room they saw a couple of people that they recognized as government workers leaving.

"Sit down," the doctor said, as soon as they had entered the room. "There's something I need to tell you that isn't going to be easy for you to hear."

For several weeks now, they had been dreading being told something, and now they realized that was what they were probably about to be told. So, they weren't very surprised by what the doctor told them a few moments later.

"You probably already know that Haldor's condition has been deteriorating," he told them. "We have been doing everything we can to save him but he has continued to get weaker. At this point, if his condition does not stabilize, he might not survive the next few days. We can delay that by putting him on life support, but it will be up to the government whether or not that is done. At this point, they aren't sure they want Haldor to end up dependent on machines to live—they feel that he wouldn't want that."

"How much time to do you think he has?"

"It could happen as soon as tonight, but I doubt he has more than a couple of days left, at the most."

"But he was supposed to have more time," Iceland said. He hadn't actually intended to say that out loud, but finding out that so little time might be left was something he wasn't ready for. There was supposed to have been more time—this was nowhere near the end of the summer. He wasn't ready to lose the person who meant more to him than anyone else.

In fact, it was only early July. Only a little less than a year ago they had learned that Scandia would be visiting them. The events that had set in motion was something the whole family kept coming back, and trying to figure out if there was something they could have done differently. If only they had noticed that Norway seemed to be afraid of Scandia. If only they had noticed what was going on sooner—and had acted to stop it sooner. And it went on from there. If they hadn't left Norway alone after everything had been revealed—if they had found him sooner after he had run away—if they had gotten him medical help as soon as they found him—if they hadn't taken him to the World Meeting in January—if they had managed to avoid being sent away or if they had tried harder to keep in touch with Norway—if they had gotten him away from Birger sooner after April's world meeting. There were all kinds of things that they could think of to have done to stop the situation from reaching this point, but it was all hindsight. There was nothing left they could do now, except hope for a miracle.

"I said he wouldn't survive past the end of the summer," the doctor corrected. "And I did say that Haldor might start to develop potentially serious complications around this time. There is still some hope that his condition might stabilize, but since there is no physical cause for his condition, there is nothing I can do to treat it. All I can do is try to keep him alive as long as possible. The four of you probably have the best chance of being able to reach him and bring him out of this state. But I wanted you to be prepared for what might happen, and to remember that if things reach the point where a decision needs to be made, the decision will be up to the government."

That wasn't something they had really needed to be told, but they didn't like being reminded of it. They didn't like the fact that it may come to a point where they would have no say in what happened to Norway. Not only did it remind them of how powerless they really were to save a member of their family, but it reminded them of the fact that they could easily be sent away again and not be allowed to be with Norway for what little time might be left. In some ways, the thought that they might be denied a chance to say goodbye was worse than the fact that they might lose him.

* * *

_Norway still did not know how much time was passing, but sometimes it seemed like he had been here forever. And he had gotten used to a routine, although it was still not enough to give him a sense of the passage of time. He would be left alone for a while, and then Scandia would come. Some of the times Scandia would just say things to him—things about how he was a freak who never should have been born, and how he was a burden to the rest of his family and they would be glad to be rid of him. Other times though, the encounters were of a much more physical nature, and those were the worst of all. It was too much like when he had been younger, and had actually lived with Scandia._

_ Sometimes, when he was alone, Norway would close his eyes and try to will himself to wake up. But, when he opened his eyes again, he was still trapped in this same place, and he began to believe that he would never be free again. That he would spend eternity trapped here and at the mercy of his father._

_ The more time passed, the clearer his surroundings became. What at first had been nothing but darkness gradually began to look like a room. And slowly things began to grow clearer until it was apparent that there was a door along one wall. A window above the door let some light into the room. Beyond that, there was no other way in or out of the room._

_ During one of the times he had been alone, Norway had tried to open the door, only to find it locked. That made it very clear to him that there would be no escape unless Scandia wanted to let him go._

_ Most of the time he was alone, Norway didn't do anything. He just tried to prepare himself for what Scandia might do. Sometimes, it was all he could do to block out the pain of the assaults, and he did not even have the energy to prepare himself for the next encounter._

_ His attention was drawn by the sound of the door opening, and he braced himself as Scandia entered the room._

_ "Well, your family might not have given up on you yet, but your people have. Your government has told the staff at the hospital to let you die."_

_ "They wouldn't do that." He might believe that his family would give up on him, but he couldn't believe that his government would. But then he remembered what had happened when he tried to tell Birger what was going on, and realized that Scandia might be telling the truth—although he wondered how his father could know what was going on outside this place._

_ "Maybe they're hoping to get a representative that isn't so weak," Scandia said. "After all, you aren't doing them much good right now. It will be better for everyone to be rid of you."_

_ Norway didn't want to listen to what his father was telling him, but the more times he was told the same thing, the harder it became to ignore and the more he began to believe it. He did not want to stay here under his father's control, but he was not sure anyone cared about whether he did survive. Maybe it would be better to give up and stop trying to find a way back. That way he couldn't be a burden to anyone anymore._

* * *

After their meeting with the doctor, the rest of the family had returned to Norway's room. Now that it had actually been pointed out to them, they could see just how bad his condition was. When they looked at him lying there surrounded by all of those monitors and other equipment, they could believe they he really might be dying. And none of them wanted to believe it—none of them were ready to lose him.

They all entered the room, and took up stations around the bed to resume their vigil. None of them wanted to leave Norway right now, not when he might only have a few hours left before the end. Although they may have run out of ways to prevent the outcome all of them had dreaded, there was still one thing they could do. They could stay with him until the end came—or at least as long as they were allowed to be with him. If they could not save his life, they could at least make sure that he did not die alone.

But still they hoped that it might come to that—that he still might survive somehow.

* * *

_Scandia was still saying much the same things he had been saying for the past . . . however long he had been in the room. Norway was no longer able to block out his father's words at all, and worse he was starting to believe them. He had never been strong enough to stop his father and for the past several months he really had been a burden to everyone. If he didn't find a way back, then his family would be free to go on with their own lives. Even if they really cared about him, they should be able to move on._

_ With that thought, he gave up on trying to find a way out and resigned himself to being stuck here forever. Even if he could go back, there was no longer any reason to—Scandia had been right about that._

_ As he thought that, the room became completely clear. What little darkness had remained was now gone._

_ Scandia seemed to sense his victory, and he gestured towards the door. "If you have finally come to realize the truth, then there is only one step left. You just need to go through that door, and you will no longer be a burden to anyone."_

* * *

It was almost silent in the room, the only sound came from the monitors. It had only been a few minutes since they had resumed their vigil, and for once none of them said anything. As long as they could hear those sounds, they knew that Norway was still alive.

After a few more minutes had passed, an alarm went off on one of the monitors.

"Nor!"

"_Bróðir_!"

Those exclamations were almost simultaneous.

Only moments passed before someone entered the room. This person was clearly part of the hospital staff, but was not the doctor they usually spoke to.

"You'll need to leave now," he told them, before turning his full attention to Norway. Several others entered the room, and the other Nordics were left to wait in the hallway while the people who had responded to the alarm worked to save Norway's life.

* * *

_Norway hesitated for a moment, before standing and taking a couple of steps towards the door. Scandia stood aside and watched him, clearly pleased with his apparent victory._

_ When Norway was only half away across the room, he suddenly stopped and looked back in the other direction. He thought he had heard something, but there was no one in the room except for Scandia, and Norway did not know where the calls he thought he had heard had come, although he had recognized the voices. Still, he knew what he heard those calls, that he could not do this—he could not walk through the door if it meant ending his life. His family wouldn't want him to do that._

_ Some time passed, and neither of them moved. At least, though, Scandia crossed the room to stand by Norway's side, and grabbed his arm. "If you won't go on your own, then I'll have to make you. Either way, I'm doing what I should have done years ago."_

_ Norway struggled to get away, but he was no match for his father, and he was being dragged closer to the door._

_ "Leave him alone," a woman's voice said from outside the door. "He doesn't belong here yet."_

_ This was the first time someone else had shown up in one of these dreams, although Norway was no longer sure this was one of the usual dreams. He looked towards the door, trying to catch a glimpse of the speaker, but from where he was standing, he couldn't see anyone._

_ "This doesn't concern you," Scandia said, turning to look in the direction the voice had come from. As he did so, he released his grip on Norway's arm._

_ "He is my son, too," the woman said, making her identity clear with that statement. "I couldn't just do nothing and let you kill him. At least let him know the truth before you force him into this choice."_

_ "He knows the truth. He is a freak who never should have been born, and he is nothing but a burden to anyone."_

_ Norway once again tried a glimpse a glimpse of the speaker, especially now that he knew who she was. For as long as he could remember, he had been told that his mother's death was his fault, and he had wondered if she would have hated him the same way his father did. And now she was there, right on the other side of the door. And, she actually seemed to be trying to save him, or at least she did not seem to share Scandia's opinion of him. He took a couple of steps closer to the door, hoping to catch a glimpse of her._

_ "__Nóregr__, don't come any closer to the door!" she exclaimed. "I'll come in to talk to you in a minute."_

_ After that warning, Norway stayed where he was. The certainty he had felt before was gone, but he still just wanted this all to be over. He didn't want to fight to go back just to be hurt again, but he did not want to spend eternity here with his father._

_ Scandia put his hand on Norway's shoulder, his grip as painfully tight as usual. However, when he spoke he still addressed the woman outside. "You will have plenty of time to talk to him once he is here for good."_

_ "Let go of him." For the first time, she moved so she was visible in the doorway. She stayed outside the room, though._

_ It was the first time Norway had ever seen his mother, but he did not have a chance to really focus on her. He was too distracted by the tight grip that his father had on his shoulder. He was too afraid that his father would make another attempt to drag him out of the room._

_ Scandia did not let go. If anything his grip became tighter. "There's nothing you can do to stop me this time."_

_ "You forget, you have no power beyond what you're drawing from __Nóregr__. I can stop you, and I am not going to let you kill my son." There seemed to be some kind of aura around her now that hadn't been visible at first._

_ Scandia actually let go and took a few steps away from Norway. Surprisingly, he actually seemed uncomfortable at first, but quickly masked it. "I'll give you a few minutes to talk to the little freak, but this isn't over. He's the only one who can end it, and he'll never be strong enough. I have power over him that you cannot break." With that Scandia walked out of the room, casting one last threatening look at Norway on his way out._

_ Now that Scandia was gone, the woman entered the room. She turned back towards the door and raised her hand towards it. A moment later, the doorway was filled with some kind of magic shield. "Move as far away from the door as you can, __Nóregr__. I can't block everything with the shield."_

_ Norway did not immediately move back to the other side of the room. He was not sure if he could trust her, despite the fact that she seemed to be trying to help him._

_ This was the first opportunity he had really gotten to really look at her, and he didn't want to waste it. Even though he had never seen her before now, she still seemed familiar to him. He had been told before that he resembled his mother, and he could see the truth of that now, but when he looked closer he could also see a few things in her features that made him think of his older brothers._

_ She did not stop him from taking that moment, but after a few moments had passed, she said, "You need to get away from the door, __Nóregr__. You're in too much danger here, even with the shield."_

_ This time he did as she had told him and went to stand by the far wall. "What's out here?" he asked, wondering what was so important about the door._

_ "The afterlife for our kind. If you go out there, you won't be able to return to your world. And the longer you stay here, the more difficult it will be for you to leave. The shield on the door will buy some time, but there isn't much left. I'm going to try to help you, but in the end you'll have to determine your own survival."_

* * *

The other Nordics had not been allowed to stay in the hall. Once they had been noticed, they had been banished to the waiting area. They had not been there for very long, but given what they were waiting to hear, it seemed like a very long time.

Eventually the doctor that they usually dealt with came out into the waiting area. "Haldor is still alive," he said, not making them wait any longer to know. "If you'll come with me to the other room, I'll update you on his condition."

He did not say anything until they were in the room where there was no chance that anyone would overhear them. And when he did start talking, what he said brought back the worry that had lessened when they had learned that Norway was still alive.

"Haldor came very close to dying. Thankfully we were able to save him and his condition seems to have stabilized somewhat. He is still in critical condition, but for the time being, his condition is no longer deteriorating. However, it is too soon to say whether his chances of survival have improved, and the longer he remains unconscious the less likely it becomes that he will make a full recovery."

"Can we see him?" After what had just happened, they all needed to see that Norway was still alive.

The doctor did not answer immediately, making them worry that the permission they had been given to spend as much time as they wanted with Norway was going to be withdrawn. Eventually, the doctor said, "You can visit him for a short time, but until his condition is less critical we are limiting him to two visitors at a time. We still feel that your presence may be the best thing for him, but if another crisis occurs, it will be easier to deal with if they are less people that need to be removed from the room, and the staff is going to be monitoring him much closer now, and that will be easier with less people in the room."

There wasn't much else said before they were shown back to Norway's room. They were all allowed to enter the room for a few minutes, just long enough to reassure themselves that Norway was still alive. Then Sweden and Finland had left, allowing the two members of the family that were closest to Norway to be the ones who remained with him.

* * *

**Author's notes:**

I know I said I would reveal what happened when Norway was born, and exactly how his mother died in this chapter, but the chapter was getting too long. I'm currently working on the scene that reveals that stuff, though, so it will definitely be in the next chapter. And the next chapter should be out in a couple of weeks, if I can get it ready by then.

I've got a few more explanatory notes for this chapter, which is the other reason I split the chapter due to length. The chapter was already nine full pages in Microsoft Word without my author's notes.

First all of all, I am intentionally having his mother use the oldest form of Norway's name that I was able to find, as way of showing how long it's been since she had any contact with the world outside of that afterlife area. Because her children were all so young when she died, she still thinks of them by the oldest forms of their names. (Which means that I need to find out the oldest names for the other two, so I can know how she would refer to them.)

Another problem I've run into was figuring out what exactly the mother's identity was. After trying to come up with some explanations that didn't work with what had already been written, I decided to stay with my original plan, even though it adds a slight crossover element of this story. And now, what I'm going to talk about is more behind the scenes stuff that came in in my planning, and I'm hoping won't make people dislike this story.

As anyone who looked at my profile (or just who has figured out my user name) might realize, I'm a Lord of the Rings fan. And, because that is what is implied in the books, I tend to think of Arda (Middle Earth) as being Earth of the far distant past, so far in the past that it was even before the ancient nations existed. (And I also have a habit of always wanting to put all my fandoms in the same universe, even when I'm not actually writing about more than one.) So, before I started writing "Family Secrets", I played around with a family tree for the nations that would lead from the various cultures that appear in Lord of the Rings, up to the modern nations. But in order to do that, I needed to add in a few more ancients that might not actually appear in history books, because they are part of a secret history. And the mother was intended to be one of those.

When I realized that I was going to end up bringing the mother into this story, I tried to come up with another explanation for who she was. But everything I came up with seemed to contradict things that were written in "Family Secrets." Before I started writing "Family Secrets" I had written three pages worth of notes in my writing notebook about "Arda to Earth: A Brief History." "Family Secrets" was intended to use those notes, and that was always the background I imagined.

The crossover element is not going to be a big deal, other than some hints in the next chapter about magic having been more common at one point, and the fact that I might not come right out and say who the mother is (although that is partially so that readers can have their own beliefs about who she is). But I wanted to explain that I had done this, and hope that it doesn't make people stop liking my story.

Please review. As my long author's note may indicate, I'm a little nervous about taking this direction, and I would like to know that I'm not going to lose all my readers over this.


	23. Chapter 23

**Warnings: **Any warnings from previous chapters can continue to apply, but this chapter needs a specific warning for abuse.

Chapter Twenty-three

_Norway still had some doubts about whether he could trust his mother. Even though she had claimed to be helping him, he wasn't sure that she didn't have some ulterior motive. She might even be working with Scandia and this help could be some kind of trap._

_ She had been careful to keep some distance away from him, and had kept silent since telling him what was outside the door. At last, though, she broke the silence. "Are you alright? Did he hurt you?"_

_ "Not this time," Norway answered. Truthfully, he did have a bruise on his arm that he had gotten when Scandia had tried to pull him through the door. However, given the way most of his encounters with his father went, he did not consider that worth mentioning—any time where he managed to get away with nothing worse than bruises, he considered himself lucky. "How did you make him leave?" he asked. The fact that his mother had been able to make Scandia leave was one of the things that made him worried they might really be working together. Even during the confrontation the previous summer, Scandia had only left as a way of making sure he got the final word—no one had actually made him leave._

_ "He knows I will not hesitate to use magic against him, and he has always had a very strong dislike of magic. I believe that fact is at least part of the reason why he has treated you the way he has. I knew from the beginning that he felt that way and that there was a darkness in him, but at the time, I trusted that at least he would not harm our children."_

_ Silence fell again. Norway had several questions that he wanted to ask his mother, but he could not bring himself to ask any of them. He was afraid of some of the answers, even though he did not want to be. He was afraid of finding out that the things Scandia had done to him really were his fault._

_ "I should have realized how he would react if one of the children inherited magical abilities," she said, after some time had passed in silence. She seemed to be able to pick up on the fact that he could not ask the questions he wanted to. "At the time it didn't seem important to worry about. Magic was becoming less common with each generation of our kind, and the chance of a child inheriting the Gift from a parent was very slim. And our first two children did not inherit anything beyond that which is standard for our kind—the connection to our land and people. Of course, Scandia was pleased that his sons would be like him, and he actually did say some things about being glad they had not inherited any of the Gift._

_ "I knew that the more children we had, the greater chance there was that one would inherit the Gift, but I chose not to worry about it. We had not originally planned to have more than two children, so your conception was a surprise, but to me at least, it was a good surprise. But I was frightened when I learned that you would inherit the Gift. And when I told Scandia he did not take it well."_

_ "How did you know?" Although, he was curious about the answer to that question, Norway had mainly asked it in an attempt to block out the memory of his father's voice telling him that he never should have been born—that he had ruined their family by being born._

_ "I could sense it," she answered. "You'll know if you ever have a child that inherits the Gift." She was silent for a few moments before speaking again, and when she spoke her voice was tinged with regret. "No one ever told you anything, did they? I knew that you were never properly shielded, but I did not realize that no one had ever explained anything about the Gift to you. But apparently, the others just used what happened to you as a reminder to make sure that their own Gifted children were at least warned about some of the risks that went with it."_

_ By this point, Norway really had no idea what his mother was talking about. He had figured out that the Gift probably referred to magic, but nothing else made any sense to him. He did have an idea about at least one of the risks that she was referring to, but he wasn't sure what she meant by shielding But he didn't want to admit how little he really did know—he knew about how to use his abilities and was able to communicate with the creatures that he was able to see, but that was the extent of his knowledge._

_ "But then, your father probably would have made sure to keep you away from anyone who could teach you." Once again, regret was noticeable in her tone of voice. "I had hoped to get you away from him—even if it meant giving you up to be raised by someone else—but things didn't go the way I had planned." She fell silent, and it seemed for a while as if she was not going to say anything more. She appeared to be lost in thought._

_ Norway thought he knew what she was referring to, though—the fact that his birth had caused her death. She was actually trying to help him for some reason, after he had killed her. "I'm sorry," he whispered._

_ "__Nóregr__, you have __**nothing**__ to be sorry for. What your father told you happened, isn't what really happened. There is some truth to his story, but not everything happened the way he claimed it did. I can show you what really happened. After all this time, you deserve to know the truth." She held out her hand towards him._

_ Norway backed up against the wall, not wanting her to touch him. He had been hurt too deeply by the only parent he really knew to be comfortable with the idea of being touched by her—whether or not she was trying to help him._

_ An expression of sadness crossed her features, as she let her hand fall back by her side. "I won't hurt you. This is the only way I can show you what really happened. Whatever you decide to do, you deserve to know the truth about what happened before you were born." Once again she held out her hand towards him, but stopped short of actually touching him. Instead, she waited to see if he would reach out to her._

_ It took him a few moments before he was able to do so, but eventually, Norway reached out to clasp her extended hand. Then, the room they were in faded and they found themselves outdoors._

_ A short distance from where they stood, were four people—two adults and two young children. Their style of dress made it clear that this was sometime in the distant past, although the exact year was not clear. Once he had recovered from the disorientation of the sudden change of surroundings, Norway recognized that the adults were his parents, and once he had realized that, he also realized that the children were Denmark and Sweden._

_ "This is the day before you were born," his mother told him. She was about to move closer, but noticed that he did not want to. "No one will be able to see us here. This is just a memory that I am sharing with you—we are really still back in that room."_

_ Although he was still hesitant, it was more because he wasn't sure he wanted to know this—he was afraid that it would confirm what his father had always told him, that he had ruined their family by being born._

_ They were now close enough to hear the conversation between the adults. "I was hoping you would take the boys with you today," his mother was saying. "I have some things I need to do to get ready for the baby."_

_ "I don't see what you could have to do that's so important that you have to neglect your other children. It's not due for another couple weeks, after all." Scandia's low opinion of the unborn child was clear from the scorn in his voice._

_ "Magic things. I assume you wouldn't want your heirs to be tainted by having magic done in their presence."_

_ "We'll start with that. I would actually prefer for them to never know that they have another sibling that will inherit your unnatural abilities. Once the baby is born, I will expect you to keep it away from them, so they will not be tainted at all by having that in the family."_

_ She looked stricken at those words, and she placed a hand over her abdomen, as if to reassure the child she carried that she did not share his father's opinion. "You do realize that if it weren't for these abilities that you consider so unnatural, we would not have any children."_

_ Norway could not look at this scene any longer—he had always known what his father thought of him, but it still hurt to realize that his father had thought that before he was born as well. He had always believed that it was because of his mother's death, as that was what he had always been told. And, this confrontation was bringing back memories of some of his own confrontations with his father, especially of the one time he had been able to defy his father. That memory was heightened by what happened next._

_ Scandia raised a hand as if to strike her, but then stopped. "You're lucky the children are here," he said. "We will continue this discussion later, when they won't have to witness it." With that he turned and left, leading the two children away with him._

_ She was left standing alone, and there was a look of sadness in her eyes as she watched them walk away, but that sadness was quickly replaced by resolve._

_ "I knew that might be the last time I ever saw them, if I had succeeded. I had planned to leave, and I knew Scandia might not let me return. But I was too afraid of what he would do to you to take risk of staying."_

_ The scene changed to the top of a hill. This time, she was the only person there at the moment. However, when she got to the top of the hill, she had to stop to rest for a moment, and it was then that Scandia appeared._

_ "Are you actually trying to leave?" he asked, when he had caught up her. "How far did you think you were going to get in your condition?"_

_ "Far enough to make sure my child would be safe from you," she answered._

_ "And you were just going to leave your other children behind then. You know I can make sure that you're never allowed to see them again. If you stay, I will at least allow you limited contact with them, as long as you're careful not to contaminate them with your unnatural ways."_

_ "Where are they, anyway? You were supposed to be watching them today."_

_ "They're back at the camp. I suspected that you might try to leave when I saw you weren't there, so I came after you. But I didn't think you would want to them know that you were willing to just abandon them—that you're choosing the baby over them."_

_ "They're too young to be left alone like that." She did not respond to the other accusation he had made. She had already said why she was leaving._

_ The argument went on for some time, starting out similar to the earlier one, but getting more heated as it went on. There was an undercurrent that showed that much of this stuff had been talked about some before, but that this was something that needed to be dealt with now. Her desire to protect her unborn child was obvious, as was Scandia's obvious dislike towards the child, or at least towards the ability that the child would inherit. As time passed, the fight continued to escalate, although it was still only words. _

_ Norway wanted to look away from what he was being shown, because he had a feeling he knew what might be about to happen. He had seen Scandia that angry before, and it never ended well. Plus, he remembered what had almost happened in the earlier argument, and that strengthened his conviction that things were about to get worse. And whatever was about to happen would be his fault, because his mother had tried to keep him safe and that was what was causing the fight. Despite those thoughts, he did feel one little bit of relief about one thing—his mother had actually wanted him, she had tried to protect him._

_ "If I thought it would work, I wouldn't leave any of our children with you, so that you couldn't teach them your intolerance."_

_ That comment was the last straw for Scandia, and this time, when he raised his hand to strike her, there was no one there to stop him. The blow was not a terribly hard one, but it forced her to back up a couple of steps closer to the edge—a couple more steps and she would risk falling. For a few moments, neither of them moved, or spoke._

_ "And this is why I'm leaving you, because it's too easy for you resort to violence, and I will not risk letting you hurt an innocent child, who has done nothing besides inherit my abilities. I am not going to stay here and let him be raised by someone who hates him for existing."_

_ The anger was still apparent on Scandia's face, and he took a couple of steps closer to her. "You really believed I would just let you walk away like this. That I would let you defy me." He took a couple of more steps towards her, forcing her to back up to keep out of his reach. She was now only a step away from the edge. "I will have to teach you what the price is for defying me. I will make sure that you no longer have any reason to try to leave. Or have you forgotten that the child is vulnerable until it is born, and now, because of your defiance, I will make sure that it doesn't survive long enough to be born."_

_ "No," she whispered. There was no easy way to escape from him, and she knew she was not powerful enough to overpower him and get away. She was left with only one chance to save her child, and placing her hand over her abdomen, she spoke the first couple words of a spell. She did not have time to completely finish the spell though, before he pushed her, and she lost her balance and fell._

_ Then the scene faded away, and they were back in the room. "You were born early the next morning," she said, "three weeks before you were supposed to have been born. Your birthday was supposed to line up with your brothers' birthdays. I tried to cast a protection spell, once I realized it was too late to do anything else. Because the spell was not fully completed, I chose to give up my own immortality so you could have a chance at surviving."_

_ Norway was still trying to process what he had been shown. For as long as he could remember, he had been blamed for him mother's death. And now, he had been shown that not only had Scandia been the one to actually cause her death, but Scandia had been trying to kill him. His father had tried to kill him just to teach his mother a lesson. And his mother had cared about him enough to give up her own life so he could survive. And the whole thing had happened because she had tried to leave in order to keep him safe, so did that mean that he was still at least partially to blame?_

_ There was no time to ask any of that, before he heard a sound from outside the door, and realized that Scandia was returning. The brief reprieve seemed to be over, and Norway still had no idea what he could do to save himself. He knew from what his mother had said that there was something, but he didn't know what. And he wasn't sure if he had the strength anymore. He looked towards the door, but he could not actually see Scandia._

_ "The shield will keep him out for a little while still," his mother said. "He has no power of his own, and so he cannot take down the shield until we're ready to let him in. All the power that your father has used to trap you here, he has been drawing from you. You should be shielded against him so that he could not do that without your permission, but something about the way he raised you made it so you don't have shields against him."_

_ This wasn't the first mention of the shields, but he still wasn't sure what they were. He knew about some types of shielding—that was one of the tactics he had used to keep people at a distance. And he knew something similar to what his mother had used to block the door. But neither of those seemed to be what she was referring to. "How is he doing this, then, if he doesn't have any power? He always claimed that he did—he said that he was the only one who had any power here."_

_ "He is drawing on your power to create the dreams he has used to torment you, and to keep you trapped here. Your power should be shielded against that, but he had gained too much power over you before your shields developed. If I had been there when you were growing up, I would have shielded you until you were old enough to have your own shields, and this situation would not have happened. In order to survive and return to your own world, you need to fix that gap in your shields, and then he will no longer be able to keep you trapped here."_

_ Norway still wasn't sure if he understood what his mother was telling him. The one thing he did know what he now wanted to find a way to survive. Ever since he had felt that call, he had known that he had to keep fighting to survive, and knowing that his mother cared enough to help him strengthened that resolve. But that didn't change the fact that he wasn't sure what to do, or if there was even actually anything that he could do._

_ He looked towards the door again, but although he knew that Scandia was out there, there was currently no sign of him. However, he knew that time was running out before he would have to face his father, and somehow he knew that this would be the last confrontation, and what his mother had told him only confirmed that suspicion. Either Scandia would win this encounter, and there would be no point in trying to get free, or he would manage to shield against his father, in which case he might finally be free._

_ "How do I shield against him?" he asked. There were so many other things that he wanted to ask his mother about, but there wasn't time now. Now he had to focus on preparing himself for the final confrontation with his father._

_ "There are different ways for the shielding to work, and you will need to find it. But one thing you need to remember is that, despite what you have been told, you do have power here—you have the same powers that you have outside this place."_

_ "I don't know if I can stand up to him," Norway admitted, quietly. "The only time I ever did was so I could protect Island. Other than that one time, I've always been too weak to stand up to father. And maybe father's right, maybe everyone would be better off if I was gone." What resolve he had felt a moment ago was rapidly fading, as he looked towards the door again, and knew that Scandia was out there._

_ "__Nóregr__, everyone will be worse off if you don't survive. Your people will be left without a representative for several years at least. And your family will blame themselves for not having been able to find a way to save you—they already are, just from the thought that you might not survive. Given enough time, they might switch to blaming each other. Right now, the only thing keeping them together at all is the hope that they might still be able to find a way to save you. They have spent as much time by your side as the doctors will allow them to. They love you, and they are scared of losing you. Your father has tried everything he could to isolate you from the rest of the family, but he has always failed, because nothing can make them stop caring about you completely. And you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. You survived all of the things that your father did to you as a child, and you survived the loss of so many of your people to the plague and the years of being controlled by your brothers. And not only did you survive all of that, but you went on to become one of the best countries in the world. I am so proud of you for all you have accomplished in your life, and I love you so much. And I believe that you can survive this, that you can find a way to break your father's power over you."_

_ For the first time since all of this had started, Norway began to think that he might really be able to find a way to get free. That maybe he really did have the strength to stand up to his father. It helped just to know that his mother believed that he could. And, it also helped that she had reminded of what he had to go back for. And with that reminder, he began to find the strength that he needed to stand up to his father._

_ "I think I'm ready," he said, after a few moments. When he looked towards the door now, he had did not feel apprehension at the thought that Scandia was out there. He wasn't sure exactly what he felt, but he was at least somewhat relieved that soon it would all be over, one way or the other. And, he was determined to find a way to survive, and to leave this place. There were other feelings mixed in there too, but he couldn't identify all of them. All he knew for sure was that, at least for the time being, the fear he always felt when he thought of his father had retreated._

_ A few moments later, the shield was gone from the door, and Scandia was once again free to enter the room. There was no longer any way to close the door once the shield was gone, which was a sign of just how far the situation had gotten._

_ Another couple moments passed before Scandia entered the room, and Norway was having to fight to hold onto the resolve he had felt earlier. On some level he was afraid it would all vanish when he was confronted with his father, but he was determined not to give in to the fear this time. He was determined to do everything he could to survive, because he knew he had a reason to go back._

_ "So, have you finished your conversation?" Scandia asked, as he entered the room. "And are you ready to take the final step to ensure that you can never be a burden to anyone ever again?"_

_ "No. I know what's on the other side of the door, and I'm not ready to go there yet." Although the fear he always felt around his father was returning, Norway still managed to hold onto his resolve._

_ "You have no choice," Scandia said. "One way or the other, this is the end for you. You can either go through that door now, of your own free will, or you can stay here until it is too late and you die anyway. There is no escape, despite what you may want to believe. You are trapped here, unless I am willing to let you go. And although you can try to convince yourself otherwise, you know that everyone will be better off without you."_

_ Norway felt his resolve begin to falter, and he looked down at the ground, no longer able to meet his father's eyes. A few moments later, he felt a gentle touch on his arm, and looked up to see his mother standing beside him. He could see the love in her eyes, and it brought back the memory of the words she had spoken to him just a short time before. And with the memory of those words, came memories of his family. He remembered all that they had done to try to help him since the revelation of what Scandia had done—they had been there for him as much as they were allowed, even when he had tried to distance himself from them. There were other memories too, memories from before the past year, from back when everything had been normal. Then, he began to see other people, some of whom were people he had never actually met in person, but he still knew them because they were his people. And for the first time since he had found himself in this place, he felt his connection to them._

_ "You're wrong," Norway said, as he felt his resolve strengthen again. "I do have something to go back to. I have a responsibility to my people, and I cannot leave them without a representative. And I have my family."_

_ Scandia closed the distance between them, and his anger was clearly visible on his face. "You honestly believe your family cares about a little freak like you? Your older brothers are just waiting for the chance to take control of you again, and your child is ashamed to be related to you. And you think that is something worth going back for? No one really cares about you. They are only pretending to care so it will be easier to control you. That's all you're good for, and you know it. Just because you got your brothers to let you go once doesn't mean they're not waiting to force you back into the only position you're fit to occupy. I thought I had managed to teach you your place by now, but you still seem to be foolish enough to believe you can amount to something."_

_ Those words brought other memories to Norway's mind, and he backed up a few steps. He needed to get some distance from his father as he suddenly began to remember everything that he had blocked out. Just like he had in other dreams, he heard a child crying, and this time he knew that he was the one who was crying. He remembered the nights he had cried himself to sleep after his father had finished with him. He remembered everything that his father had done to him. The onslaught of memories threatened to overwhelm him, and he felt himself being pulled under._

_ "Do you see the truth now?" Scandia said. "Do you see what you really are?"_

_ Norway wasn't sure if those words had been spoken in the present, or if they were just another memory of something his father had said to him. But, then he heard another voice._

_ "__Nóregr__, you are not worthless, despite what your father wants you to believe. You are strong enough to overcome this, and you do have people who care about you. Your family is out there, in your world, and they're waiting for you to wake up. And I am right here with you, and I can see how much you have accomplished in your life. How much you have accomplished in spite of the way that Scandia has tried to destroy you. I am proud of you, my son, and I love you." She continued to say things like that, trying to find a way to reach him and to anchor him against the onslaught of memories._

_ Gradually, Norway was able to focus on his mother's voice, and eventually to discern what she was saying. Although he still remembered everything, he no longer felt overpowered by the onslaught, and he found the strength to face his father again._

_ Although those memories had almost overwhelmed them, they also made him realize where he must be. Those memories had been buried deep within his mind, so that must be where he was currently trapped. He had not been taken somewhere, and as long as he did not go through the door, he would remain here. And if he really was somewhere deep within himself, that meant that there must be a way back, but first he had to end Scandia's power over him._

_ "I do see the truth," Norway said. "But not the one you want me to see. And I'm not going to just give up and die, just because you want me to. Especially not now that I know how much my mother has sacrificed so I could have any chance at life. I know that you were the one who killed her, and I know that you were trying to kill me, in order to teach her a lesson. If I let you win here, then her sacrifice was for nothing. And I'm not going to let that happen."_

_ "You really think you can defeat me?" Scandia asked. "Do you realize that you have no power here?"_

_ "You're the one who doesn't have any power. You've been using my power to do this, and I'm not going to let you anymore."_

_ Scandia took a couple of steps towards Norway, his anger obvious on his face. Norway managed to find the resolve to stand his ground, and he concentrated on drawing on his power. Slowly, a shield like the one that had covered the door formed between him and his father. He focused on strengthening the shield, and gradually it began to be easier to draw on the power. The shield grew and became stronger, and it was enough to keep Scandia from reaching him. For the first time in his life, he was really defending himself from his father._

_ "This isn't over, you little freak," Scandia said. "You may be able to use your unnatural abilities to keep me from giving you what you deserve, but I will just find another way." Despite the threat he made though, there was nothing that Scandia could do. The shield kept him from actually being able to reach Norway, and his words were not having the effect they usually did. And so, he left, but unlike when he had left at the end of his visit the previous summer, he was not leaving with any illusion that he had been the victor of this encounter._

_ A few moments later, the door was once again closed, the danger shut out for the time being. And the room was beginning to fade to darkness, as the trap that Scandia had set was disarmed._

_ Norway looked over at his mother, who was still beside him. There was so much that he wanted to ask her, but he knew their time together was ending. And he hadn't even found out what her name was. He tried to hold onto the illusion of the room so that he could have more time with her._

_ She seemed to know what he was trying to do. "__Nóregr__, you have to go back now," she said. "I will find a way to see you again, I promise. But now, you need to go back to your own world. You have people waiting for you, after all."_

_ He continued to look at her, trying to commit her to memory, determined to have some memory of her now. She was the last thing he saw as the room faded away completely._

_ Then, as everything faded away, he had one last thought. That he hoped this was really the way back._

* * *

**Author's notes:**

Okay, I have some explanations that I need to give of things that I referenced in this chapter, and also why I included something I did. It started when I saw a piece of fanart that had a caption mentioning that Norway's independence day (that was what it was called in that picture) was June 7th. My first thought was to be relieved that wasn't his birthday, since it would seem like too big of a coincidence if all three Scandinavians had birthdays that lined up like that. Later, though, when I began to come up with the story behind his mother's death, I started thinking—what if that was the day he was supposed to have been born, what if their birthdays were supposed to line up as another symbol of the links between the three of them? From there, I came up with the idea of something happening that caused him to be born early, and led to his mother's death. (Especially considering that June 7th really is exactly three weeks after his actual birthday.)

In the paragraph where his mother was trying to encourage him, there is a reference to Norway having lost a large percentage of his population to the plague. I have seen different numbers for what that percentage is, which is why I didn't specify. However, considering that the numbers range as high as more than two thirds, I think it's really amazing that he survived at all. (And that's also something I wish got explored more in fanfiction, although I have seen a few good stories about it.)

Anyway, I hope people like how I resolved the dream thing, and that it was clear enough what was going on. This is a major turning point in the story, because for the first time Norway has actually successfully stood up to his father. Scandia may have still managed to get the last word, but he still lost the overall encounter, and for the time being, he is less of a threat.

The next chapter should be out sometime in early June, and will go back to what's been going on with the rest of the family.

I want to thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter, and I'm really glad that people still like this story. I don't think there's anything I need to reply to specifically, although I do want to say that I will be continuing this story until it is complete. And I am actually beginning to consider ideas for other stories set in this verse, as well. Although some of those ideas will have to wait until I'm comfortable writing more characters.

Anyway, please review. I always like to know what people think of each chapter.

(And in case anyone's wondering, I did intentionally choose to post this chapter the day before Norway's birthday. Because the scenes in the flashback were of things that happened the day before Norway was born, I thought it would be appropriate to post the chapter on that day as well.)


	24. Chapter 24

**Author's notes:** This chapter is a little shorter than usual, but this was where it wanted to be divided. See previous chapters for warnings.

Chapter Twenty-four

By the end of the first day after the new restrictions had been imposed, the rest of family had come up with a schedule that allowed them to sure that at least one of them was always with Norway. They only left when the hospital staff asked them to, and then, whoever's turn it was to be in the room, would go back in a soon as they were allowed. None of them wanted to be away from Norway, as they were all afraid of losing him, and they knew from what the doctor had told them, that that was a very real possibility.

As far as they could tell, there had still been no change in Norway's condition, but after a couple of days the doctor told them that Norway's condition had stabilized, although there was still no real improvement. A couple of days later, the doctor claimed that there was some improvement, but the rest of the family could not see any sign of that improvement—all they saw was that Norway still had not woken up, and that all of the machines were still in the room. It was hard for all of them to see him like this—just the condition that he was in acted as a constant reminder of the fact that they could still lose him.

It had been almost two weeks now, and the rest of the family was still worried that Norway might never wake up. They continued to take turns staying in the hospital room with him and talking to him, but the lack of response seemed more discouraging with every day that passed. Still, they held onto the hope that Norway would be alright, and tried to remember that the doctor had told them his condition was improving.

* * *

For a long while after the room had faded, there was nothing but darkness. Eventually, though, sound began to return. At first, there was nothing distinct, but eventually Norway was able to recognize the voices of his family. Sometime after that, he began to be able to understand what they were saying, and he knew that what his mother had told him was true—his family had stayed with him and they were waiting for him to wake up.

Sensation was the next thing to return. Gradually, he began to be able to feel the bed that was lying in. And sometime after that, he felt a pressure on his hand, and realized that someone must he holding his hand. He tried to move his own hand to return the gesture, but was not sure if he succeeded. But it was with that attempt that full awareness began to return to him.

Despite the fact that he had been asleep for some time, Norway still felt completely exhausted. It was several minutes before he found the energy to try to open his eyes and actually doing so took a couple of attempts.

It took a little while for his surroundings to register, although he had known from comments in the dream that he was in a hospital. If he had not known that before, he would have guessed from the equipment he could see once he was able to take in his surroundings. He was not surprised to discover that Denmark was the one holding his hand—what he was surprised by was the way that discovery made him feel.

"Nor? Are you awake?"

It took a couple of moments for Norway to be able to speak, and when he did, his voice was raspy from disuse. "That's a stupid question." The fact that he was able to answer meant that he was obviously awake. He was unable to say anymore before he was pulled into an embrace. Although part of him wanted to struggle to be released, another part of him felt comforted by the embrace. He tried to convince himself that he was only enjoying it because he was tired though—he usually hated being touched when he hadn't been expecting it. It was only once he was released from the embrace that Norway saw the other person in the room.

"Don't scare us like that again, _bróðir_," Iceland said, as he approached the bed. He remained a short distance away, but still closer than he would have come a few months ago.

Norway was not really surprised that it was these two members of his family that were in the room with him. He remembered that they had been the ones to call him, and stop him from going through the door—he had felt that call more than he had actually heard it, but he had still known.

Still, though, on some level, he had been afraid that he would be alone when he woke up. Despite having been told that his family was waiting for him, and having heard their voices as awareness had returned, he had still been afraid that they would not be there when he actually woke up.

He did not even know how long he had been asleep for, as he had never had any sense of actual time passing during the dream. He now suspected though, it had been longer than he had believed it to have been. At least, Norway assumed that was the reason for the way they had reacted to seeing that he was awake—despite knowing what Scandia had been trying to do, he had no idea just how close he had really come to dying.

A few moments later, the doctor entered the room, apparently having been alerted by some change in the monitors.

"It's good to see you awake again, Haldor," he said, as he entered the room. "A lot of people have been very worried about you."

* * *

Shortly after entering the room, the doctor had made Denmark and Iceland leave so he could examine Norway. Although neither of them had really wanted to leave the room, they at least had the knowledge that Norway was awake.

By the time the doctor came in search of the rest of the family, all four of the family members were in the waiting area, and Sweden and Finland had been told that Norway had woken up.

As relieved as they all were that Norway was awake, they were still worried that he might not be out of danger. There was still the risk of complications from the malnourishment after all, and the fact that there was no guarantee that situation was going to improve. None of them felt like they could fully be relieved until the doctor had told them that Norway would be alright.

So, when the doctor did come out to get them, and led them to the room where all of the conversations took place, they were still apprehensive about what they might be about to be told. And, the doctor wasted no time before filling them in the latest information about Norway's condition.

"Haldor is still very weak, and he's a little disoriented from having lost two weeks, but other than that there seem to be no serious side effects from the length of time he was unconscious. Due the length of time he has been bedridden, he will need some physical therapy, and it might take him some time to get his strength back, but that is nothing he won't recover from. I am still concerned about the malnutrition, and he is going to be kept on the feeding tube for time being—to make sure that he doesn't lose any more weight. Tomorrow morning, once he is a little less disoriented, a therapist will meet with him and see if we can get him to stop this behavior. There does seem to be some improvement to his emotional state, but I am not entirely sure if it will last. And before you ask, you can see him, but you will all need to leave when visiting hours are over."

"Have his chances of surviving increased at all?" It was a difficult question, but it still needed to be asked. After all, they had all known before this that Norway might not survive past the end of the summer.

"If he stops refusing to eat, he has a good chance at survival," the doctor said. "Although he is starting to have some of complications I mentioned before, he is still at the point where they are reversible. The fact that we had to put him on a feeding tube while he was unconscious may have helped to save him in the end. But it is too soon to say anything for sure—it all depends on whether or not Haldor is willing to accept help this time."

* * *

This was the first they had all been allowed to see Norway since that awful night when he had almost died. Given that association, they were at least glad to see that he was awake, even if he wasn't really recovered.

The number of the machines in the room had decreased, although several of the monitors still remained. And the feeding tube, but they had at least been warned that was being left for the time being.

From what they could see, Norway's condition was much the same as it had been in the days leading up to that morning when they had not been able to wake him up. He was still noticeably underweight, in fact, that was more noticeable now, as he had lost even more during the two weeks he had been unconscious. And, despite the fact that he had been asleep for so long, he still looked tired. But his eyes were open, and he seemed aware of their presence.

For several moments, no one said anything, as the right thing to say in this situation was not easily apparent. There had been too many wrong things said in the past few months.

"We've all been so worried about you, Norja," Finland said, after the silence had lasted long enough to begin to feel slightly uncomfortable. "We were afraid you might never wake up." He did not say anything about how they had also been worried that Norway might not even survive. No one in the family liked having to be reminded of how close Norway had come to dying.

"Father said that you wouldn't care," Norway said after a few moments. His voice was still a little hoarse, but stronger than it had been when he had first woken up. "He said everyone would be glad if I didn't wake up."

That was enough to confirm what the rest of the family had suspected about what had happened—at least as far as confirming that Scandia had been behind it. They were surprised, though, that Norway had actually spoken about the dreams, as he had only done so before after being pressured into it. And even then, he had never before said anything in front of all the rest of the family. At least, nothing that they had paid attention to—there were things that had hinted at the dreams when they looked back at earlier conversations.

"We've been spending as much time with you as the staff would allow us to. If you hadn't woken up, we would have kept waiting, as long as there was some hope. And if you hadn't survived, none of us would have been able to forgive ourselves for not having been able to help you. And we all would have missed you—you are part of our family, and none of us can bear the thought of losing you. We've all been so worried about you, ever since that incident last summer."

"She said that you were waiting," Norway said. "I wasn't sure if I could believe her, though. I wanted to, but it was hard to ignore what father kept saying."

The rest of all the family wondered who Norway was referring to, but they did not want to try to force him to talk about something he might not be ready to talk about, and even though he was talking about the dream, they did not want to risk asking for details that he wasn't voluntarily giving. They were all a little afraid that if they pushed him to talk, then he might withdraw from them again.

And so, they moved the conversation to safer topics until they were forced to leave at the end of visiting hours. They all promised that they would be back the next day, as they wanted to make it clear to Norway that they weren't going to abandon him this time, the way they had been forced to back in January.

* * *

Over the next few days, nothing was said about what had happened in the dream. The other members of the family would occasionally get hints that something had, but Norway had yet to tell them any more than he had the first day after he woke up. They could tell that although he seemed to be putting some effort into acting as much like he usually did as possible, there was still something bothering him that he was refusing to talk about. At the same time, though, they somehow got the impression that he had found some kind of peace to relieve the torment he had experienced since Scandia's visit a year before. Although there were still times when he would flinch if he thought someone was going to touch his shoulder, or when a haunted looked when appear in his eyes, those times were a little less common than they had been. The only question was if that was because he was trying to suppress whatever he was feeling, or if it really was some sign of improvement.

They continued to visit him every day during visiting hours. Although they were a little worried over how slowly his condition was approving, they were relieved to see that at least there was some improvement. After the first couple of days, the feeding tube had been removed, and as far as the rest of the family knew, Norway had actually started eating enough for the first time in several months. He was still far too thin, and he was still not quite up to eating a normal amount of food—in fact, he was actually on a very restricted diet as to the kinds of foods he was allowed to eat—but he was no longer refusing to eat anything the way he had been doing at one point.

They knew that Norway was also receiving physical therapy, to help him recover from the length of them he had been bedridden—two weeks while he was unconscious, plus much of the time for a few weeks leading up to that. The therapy seemed to be progressing incredibly slowly from what they could see, though, as it was almost a week before Norway was even able to sit up for any length of time. When they had mentioned those concerns to the doctor, they had been told it was nothing to worry about—the recovery was only taking a little longer than it ordinarily would because of the condition Norway had already been in.

The doctor had also told them that Norway would probably be kept in the hospital at least until the end of July, if not the beginning of August. According to what they had been told, the team that was involved in Norway's care wanted to make sure that he was kept under close observation until he had gained back some of the weight he had lost, and they could be as sure as possible that he wouldn't stop eating again. There was also some concern about making sure that he was able to walk, at least with help, before he was sent home—and considering he was just reaching the point where he was able to get out of bed to sit in a chair for a short length of time, that might take a while.

By the end of July, Norway was able to walk short distances, as long as he had some help, and although he had not gained back enough weight to make any noticeable difference, he was no longer on a restricted diet like he had been at first. At the point, that doctor told the other Nordics that Norway would be allowed to go home in a couple days, although he would continue to need physical therapy, as well as frequent check-ups for a while, just to make sure that his recovery continued.

It was at that point, that the other members of the family, called someone to report that none of them would be at August's world meeting. Although, the situation was not as grave as it had been in a month ago, they did not want Norway to think they were abandoning him. And anyway, when they weren't at the hospital, they were busy getting the house set up for when Norway would be allowed to leave the hospital and come home with them.

* * *

**Author's notes:**

When I first started planning this story, before I had any idea of how long it would be, I planned for it to have two distinct story arcs. (This was before it go so long that I realized it would need to be divided into chapters instead.) The first arc was called "Setback" and has just ended. The second arc, which would have been called "Healing" will begin in the next chapter. That is why I ended this chapter where I did, because we are about to switch to the next part of the story.

If anyone's wondering, Norway does still remember all of the memories that he recovered at the end of the dream, he is just trying to keep them buried still, until there is no risk that humans will overhear anything he might say about them. (No one told him that most of the humans involved in helping him know most of the story now anyway.) When he starts feeling overwhelmed by the bad memories, he focuses on remembering the things his mother said to him. In the next chapter, he is going to start talking to the other Nordics about these memories, as well as telling them some of what happened in the dream.

(And if anyone can guess by the title of the next story arc, we have reached the turning point—or I guess you could call it the bend in the road, if you wanted to play on the story title.)

I want to thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I was really excited when this story got it's fiftieth review (and then one more after that).

Also, I want to make sure people know that this story and "Family Secrets" are also available in two other places online. I have a Dreamwidth journal under the same name as my account here, and I have a Livejournal under the name "isethia". And if this site is ever having problems on a day when I post an update, then I always post the same update on both of those sites. (Also, they will be there if anything happens to the copies on this site-with the way stores are disappearing, I thought it would be good to have a backup plan.) And I might start putting news as to when the next update will be there as well, instead of just putting it on my profile.

This time, the next update might not be up until closer to July. I'm working on an original novel this summer, and have a wordcount goal each day with that. However, so far, I've always had time to work on this in the evenings, so I might be able to get the next chapter up before the end of the month. I just don't want to commit to a date right now—considering that I was lucky to get this chapter out on the date I was aiming for.

Please review, I always like to know what people think.

I am increasing the rating of the this story, because it does deal with adult themes. I probably should have done this a few chapters ago, just to be on the safe side.


	25. Chapter 25

**Warnings: **This chapter contains actual use of the word "rape," content that might be triggering for eating disorder, and some things that might be seen as victim blaming (although the victim is the one doing it).

Chapter Twenty-five

It was early August before Norway was allowed to leave the hospital. He had been there for over a month, and still the other Nordics were worried he was being released too soon. He still seemed so frail, and it seemed that he had barely started to recover.

More than a year of barely eating or not eating at all had taken a severe toll on his body. He was past the point where his body had begun to break down muscle. That, coupled with several weeks of having been bedridden, kept him being able to get back on his feet easily. He was still only able to walk short distances unaided, and anything over a certain distance he was unable to walk at all.

In addition to that, he was still having bouts of lightheadedness from low blood pressure and there was concern that his heart rate was still too low. The doctor said that would probably improve once Norway had gained back some of the weight he had lost, but there was still concern about the consequences if he pushed himself too hard.

The rest of the family, knowing that it would be some time before Norway could handle the stairs, had rearranged things at the house in order to give him a bedroom on the ground floor. That would allow him to have access to all the downstairs rooms at least, and there was still the issue of whether or not he would feel safe upstairs.

He was not even well enough yet to be able to walk out of the hospital—and yet he was still being sent home. He was no longer in need of the constant medical attention he received in the hospital and there was no other options expect to send him home. His status made anything else impossible, or there was too much risk.

Just the trip back to the house from the hospital had left Norway exhausted, and the rest of the family had gotten him settled in the room they had fixed up for him. There were still a few hours before dinner, and they knew he needed the time to rest.

There would be time for talking later.

* * *

To the relief of the rest of the family, Norway did eat dinner. They had been a little worried that he would stop eating again once he was no longer in the hospital. They were all worried that something might still go wrong, since Norway probably would not survive another setback. He almost hadn't survived the last one. But so far he seemed to be alright. He looked like he was recovering from some serious illness, and he still flinched if someone tried to touch him when he wasn't expecting it, but he was no longer refusing to leave his room and he was eating again.

After dinner the whole family gathered in the living room—they had been advised not to allow Norway to be alone immediately after a meal, just in case.

This was the first time in several months that they had spent what felt almost like a normal evening together. It may have been the first time since before Scandia's visit, and it was certainly the first time since January. The times that they all been together in June had been overshadowed by the deterioration in Norway's condition, a deterioration which had been evident even the beginning of the month.

Norway was still distancing himself from the rest of the family a little. He had sat down on the edge of the couch and was holding one of the pillows against his chest—it was a position that had become familiar to the rest of the family. But unlike the more recent times, he did not seem quite as distant. Although he did not participate in any conversation, he at least seemed aware of it.

* * *

The next few days went much the same as the first one. Norway still did not say anything about what had happened, but as he was willingly leaving his room and eating regular meals, they did not want to press him for information he did not want to share.

It wasn't until one evening about a week after Norway had been discharged from the hospital that the rest of the family learned anything about what had happened to him. It started with a simple question. "Do you remember our mother?"

There was silence for a few minutes after that question. The rest of the family all knew that Norway had been blamed for his mother's death—and that he had been worried that his older brothers blamed him as well. They were worried that fear may have prompted the question.

"A l'ttle. We w're t' young t' remember much," Sweden answered.

Norway looked down at the floor before asking, "Do you remember what happened to her?" His voice was just loud enough for the rest of the family to hear.

"We knew that she was in accident and died because of that. Her death wasn't your fault, Nor."

"I met her," Norway said. "She showed me what really happened, and it wasn't an accident."

That was one of the first things Norway had said about what he had experienced while he was unconscious. They knew he had experienced something that had a big effect on him, but they had not wanted to press him to talk about it before he was ready. But it seemed that now he might be ready. None of them said anything, as they waited to see if he might say more.

"She wasn't there until close to the end," Norway said, after a few moments had passed in silence. "At first, there was nothing, but then . . ." He closed his eyes, as the memories threatened to overwhelm him. "Everything was dark, except for one path. I didn't want to follow it, but it was only thing that was solid. And, then _far_ was there. He didn't do anything—he just talked. Then, everything went dark . . . The next thing I knew, I was in a room . . . Most of the time, I was alone, but other times, _far_ was there. Sometimes he just talked, but other times he . . ." He wasn't able to finish that sentence—he never had been able to actually talk about what Scandia did to him. Even when it had happened in a dream, he still couldn't bring himself to say the words, to say that his father had raped him. His eyes were still tightly closed, as the memories played over again in his mind. He tightened his grip on the pillow that his arms were wrapped about, trying to use the feel of it to anchor himself in the present, but still he felt himself being swept under by the memories. And he hadn't even gotten the part that he was afraid to tell them about yet.

He could hear his family calling to him, but even though he knew they were right there in the room with him, their voices seemed to come from a great distance away. He could barely focus enough to hear them, even when he tried to. And he couldn't have responded then, even if he knew what he wanted to say. He didn't want to find out what they would think if he told them the rest of what had happened. What if his mother had been wrong and they really did think he was a burden and were unhappy that they still had to deal with him? Or what if they did blame him once he told them the full story of what had happened—it was only because they believed it to have been an accident that they didn't hate him after all. The combination of those fears and the memories was making it impossible for him to stay focused on the present, on the fact that he was in the living room with his family and it was supposed to be a normal evening. At the moment the only thing that existed for him was all the thoughts he did not want to deal with.

Norway did not know how much time passed while he struggled to deal with the thoughts that threatened to overwhelm him, but he came back to the present when he felt someone's arms surround him, pulling him into an embrace. He opened his eyes at last, and was not surprised when he saw who was holding him. "Anko," he managed to say, unintentionally using the old nickname. He wanted to say something else, but the only thing he could manage to say was the one thought that was uppermost in his mind. "Don't hate me. Please don't hate me." He just kept repeated those two sentences over and over, not even fully aware that he was doing so. He felt moisture on his face, and realized then that he was crying. On some level he felt like he should be trying to get away—after all the person holding him was the one who had controlled him for several hundred years and who might just be looking for a chance to get control over him again. And yet, he still felt safe.

After some time, he managed to get control over his emotions, and it took less time it had in April. Although the worry of how his family would react to the rest of the story he needed to tell them remained, he felt too drained at the moment to really be affected by it. He knew that he was still being held, but he made no attempt to free himself. Despite the lingering fear of having his independence taken away, being held like that made him feel safe and cared for.

"Nor, are you feeling better now?"

Norway drew back enough to be able to see that the rest of the family was also still in the room. He made no move to try to free himself from the embrace. "Yes," he said, after a few moments. The fact that he still made no move to try to free himself made the truth of that statement rather questionable.

"Why do you think that we're going to hate you?"

It was only then that Norway actually knew that he had said those words aloud. He drew back fully from the embrace, before answering. "_Far_ hated me—he tried to kill me. Not just in the dreams, but before I was born. That was what really happened when our mother died. She tried to run away, and _far_ punished her because she had tried to get away from him so I would be safe. It was my fault she died—if she hadn't protected me, she would have lived longer." And now that he had told them, he waited for them to turn against him, as he was sure they would.

Denmark pulled Norway back into an embrace. "Nor, we don't hate you for that. I always knew that she wanted you protected—we were allowed to see her one last time before she died, and I promised her then that I would protect you. She wanted to be sure that you would be safe. I just didn't know that our father was the person you needed to be protected from."

"You're our l'ttle brother, Norge. W' won't hate y' f'r something th't wasn't y'r fault."

"But it was my fault," Norway said. "She died because she was trying to protect me." He still couldn't believe that they didn't hate him. But, somehow, it seemed as they didn't. Both of his older brothers had told him that it wasn't his fault. He just couldn't believe it—he had spent so many years being convinced that they secretly hated him because of this. The fact that they didn't was just too much for him to be able to comprehend. He kept expecting the inevitable moment when they would turn against him. He just couldn't believe that they knew the truth and it didn't seem to have changed the way they thought of him.

"Nothing that's happened has been your fault. Scandia is the one who is responsible, and this is just one more thing that he is to blame for."

Despite having been told that a few times now, Norway still found it hard to believe. From his earliest memories, he had been told that his mother's death was his fault and that he had ruined the family by being born. Even once he knew that Scandia had lied about what had really happened, he still found it hard to stop believing that he was to blame.

That evening's conversation did not last much longer. Norway still did not have the energy for a long conversation that dealt with topics that were hard to him face, and the others could see how tired he was, even when he tried to hide it. They had all tried a few more times that evening to tell him that he wasn't to blame for anything, but they weren't sure if their assurances were doing any good.

* * *

The next day, Norway was still tired from what little he had managed to face the night before. And that fact that he hadn't gotten the best night's sleep didn't help—his sleep had been disturbed a couple of nightmares. The only positive side was that these nightmares had not been visitations from his father—they had just been ordinary nightmares brought on by the fear that his family would hate him if they knew the full truth. In these dreams, when he told them the full story of what had happened, they had blamed him and gone so far as to order him to leave the house. Then they had stood by the door and watched as he struggled to walk across the yard. When he had fallen, none of them had offered to help, and he was sure he heard them making comments about how it was what he deserved. He had woken up then, and thankfully he had managed to avoid making any sounds loud enough to wake up the rest of his family. Still, by the time the rest of the family came downstairs, he had been awake for a couple of hours.

It took him long enough to walk to the dining room, that they were all already there when he reached the room. He stopped for a moment by the door, not sure if he was ready to face them all again after the conversation from the night before. If he had been in better physical condition, he might have turned around and left the room, but instead he went in and took his seat at the table.

"You look tired, Norja," Finland said. "Did you sleep alright?"

"Yes." Norway suspected that they probably saw through his lie, but none of them questioned him at the moment. Instead, they focused on making sure he ate breakfast. Norway didn't really feel like eating, but he still managed to force himself to eat a decent amount of the food that had been set in front of him. He knew he would be in trouble if he stopped eating again. Plus, if he was at least eating normally, then maybe his family would not try to force him to elaborate on what he said that night before. He didn't want to be more of a burden to them than he already had, and he knew that he risked breaking down if he tried to talk about any of what Scandia had done. It was bad enough that he had lost control the night before and said more than he had wanted to.

After breakfast, he wanted to escape back to his room, so that if he did lose control over his emotions, he could at least do so without witnesses. However, he wasn't allowed to be alone for at least any hour after a meal. He knew why they did that, and he sometimes resented being treated like someone with an eating disorder. He may have stopped eating, but he didn't have an eating disorder—he just didn't have an appetite because of all the other stuff he was trying to deal with. It wasn't like he was going to do something like make himself throw up, which was what he suspected his family was afraid he would do if they left him alone after a meal.

It took him a few minutes to be able to stand up after he had finished eating. He still had bouts of lightheadedness if he stood up too fast, and his legs were still weak from the length of time he hadn't been walking. He hated the fact that walking between three rooms in the downstairs part of the house was the most he could do without help—it made it clear just how much of a burden he was to his family right now. He couldn't even leave the house on his own.

From his spot at the table, he could see a window that looked out into the yard, and he realized then how long it had been since he had really spent any time outside. He remembered that his family had tried to get him to go outside in the last few weeks before he had ended up in the hospital, but he had always refused—on the occasions when he had responded to them at all. Then, while he had been staying with Birger, he hadn't been allowed to go anywhere except to work and back to the house. There had been the week after he had run away from Birger's house, and that was it—other than that, the last time had been at the beginning of April. But he knew it would probably be a while before he got a chance to actually do anything like that again, probably not until he could manage on his own.

"Remember, you have a doctor's appointment this afternoon."

Norway had already remembered that. He still had to go every few days, so that the doctor could make sure that he was recovering without any more complications developing. And, he usually had physical therapy appointments on the same afternoons. He knew that meant he would probably be tired tonight, and hoped that this would allow him to put off the continuation of the previous night's conversation for another day.

* * *

The conversation had been put off for another day, as the whole family had seen how tired Norway was that night. They knew that, even though he was recovering, he still tired easily, and the trips to the doctor followed by the physical therapy appointments were something that especially tired him out. And, truthfully, they were all a little hesitant to bring up the subject again, as they had been worried after seeing how upset Norway had gotten just from having talked about a little of what had happened. And they were beginning to see that getting through to him might be more difficult that they had believed at first. They had no idea how to convince him to stop blaming himself for everything that had happened, or, most importantly, how to convince him that none of them blamed him for anything that happened.

However, by the next morning, Finland had come up with an idea. He did not tell the others exactly what this idea was, as it involved using a piece of information that Norway had revealed to him in one of their previous conversations. The only thing he told the rest of the family was that he was going to try to talk to Norway in private.

At breakfast that morning, he noticed how tired Norway looked, and he suspected it had been another bad night. So, not wanting to risk the situation deteriorating again, he put his plan into action immediately after breakfast.

"Would you like to go outside, Norja?" he asked, after breakfast that morning. He had noticed the way Norway had been looking outside over the past few days, and he suspected that being outside again might help Norway to relax.

Norway did not answer immediately, but there was something about how he looked towards the window that made it clear what his answer would be. At last, he answered, "Yes."

"I talked to your doctor yesterday, and he said it would probably be good for you to spend time outdoors, as long as you are careful and don't use up too much energy."

It took a few minutes to get outside. Norway had needed help walking out there, so the whole family had gone out initially. However, once Norway was settled, most of them had gone back inside—all with some excuse of something that needed to be done inside.

"I don't want to talk anymore about what happened," Norway said, once they were alone outside. "So if that's what you were trying to make happen by setting this up, it's not going to work."

"Actually, there's something I wanted to talk to you about," Finland answered. He hadn't expected Norway to figure out so quickly that this was a set-up, but then it was similar to what he had arranged after the world meeting at the beginning of June. "Do you remember what you told me about the first night of Scandia's visit?"

"Yes," Norway answered after a few moments of silence. "But I really don't want to talk about it anymore."

"You said that you let your father into your room that night after he threatened to harm Islanti. So, do you blame Islanti for what happened last summer?" He hated asking that question, but it was necessary in order to make a point that needed to be made.

"No," Norway answered, without even having to think about it. "I couldn't let _far_ hurt him—I could go through it again, as long as I knew Island was safe and never had to go through any of what I did. No one else blames him, do they?"

The very real fear in that question was the reason that Finland had not told the others about this plan. He had known that asking that might upset Norway, but he still hoped to get him to see the parallel. "They don't know," he answered at last. "I never told them what you told me about that night. But I don't think anyone would blame him. You made a sacrifice in order to protect your child, just like your mother did to protect it—it was just a different kind of sacrifice. So if Islanti isn't responsible for what you did to protect him, then why are _you_ responsible for what your mother did to protect you?"

"I don't know," Norway answered. "But _far_ always told me that everything was my fault, and that Danmark and Sverige would hate me if they knew the truth. And I couldn't bear it if they hated me too—I already can't bear the fact that Island is ashamed of our true relationship. I knew you said that he isn't, but he acts like it sometimes. I'm afraid that you're the only one who doesn't hate me." That last sentence was spoken barely above a whisper.

"No one hates you, Norja."

"She told me the same thing, but I'm not sure I can believe it. _Far_ wanted them to hate me." Since he had said as much as he had already, Norway finally talked about what his mother had shown him in the dream. It was clear that it was painful for him to talk about what had happened in those memories, even though they contained the proof that his mother had cared for him. That proof was somewhat canceled out by the fact that that same memories showed just how much Scandia had hated him. However, unlike the shortened version he had told the whole family, this time he still went into detail about some of the conversations between his parents in those memories. The only parts that Norway left out of the account were exactly how his mother had entered into the dream, and what had happened after she showed him those memories. It was obvious that there were still gaps in what was being said, but it was also obvious that Norway was not ready to talk about what else had happened.

"They won't hate you for any of that," Finland said, once the whole story had been recounted. He knew that this would probably have to be said many times before Norway would really believe it. But there was no question that the whole family would do whatever was necessary to make sure that Norway recovered.

"I don't know if I can talk to them about it, though," Norway said. "I don't want to find out that _far_ was right. And there's more, too. I remember everything that happened with _far_ now. At least, I think I do. Before I felt like there were gaps in my memory, and now there aren't as many. There're still a few things I don't remember . . ." He left the rest of the sentence unspoken, and it was clear that he stopped himself from saying more on the subject of not remembering. "But it's all there now—everything that he did. I want to forget again, but the memories won't go away. I was barely able to deal with what I did remember before."

It was unusual for Norway to actually say this much, but that had happened in most of their conversations lately. He seemed simultaneously to need to talk about everything that had happened and to want to hide everything behind the wall that he had always kept his emotions behind. The events of the past year had left him without his usual defenses and the amount of emotional pain that he was feeling right now could clearly be seen. It was clear that he was still right on the edge of breaking, but at the same time, the fact that was talking about this at all, showed that there was hope that he would find a way through it.

Finland carefully reached out and touched Norway's hand—that was the one kind of touch that Norway was least likely to have a bad reaction to. "Norja, we are all here for you, and we will do whatever we can to help you feel better. Nothing you can tell us would make us hate you, or turn against you. And, if you need to talk, and can't say this to the others, then we can talk privately like this. Or, if you feel you need to talk to someone who isn't part of our family, we can find a way for you to be able to do that. We all care about you, and nothing that your father did to you will change that. Let us help you."

"I don't know if I can," Norway whispered. "I'm still afraid of what they might do. And I hate being afraid all the time—it seems like the only thing I've felt for over a year now. Ever since _far_ came back. I hate being this weak." There were tears in his eyes, and he could no longer keep them from falling.

"You're not weak, Norja. If you were weak, you never would have been able to deal with all of this by yourself for so long. Everything that you have been through and survived proves how strong you are." Finland tightened his grip on Norway's hand, trying to convey some measure of reassurance to the other man without making him uncomfortable.

For a few minutes, they sat like that, and eventually, Norway got his emotions back under control. He was still unable to completely hide them, but he had stopped crying at least. He was also clearly exhausted. However, despite the fact that he had not been able to reconstruct the wall that he usually hid his emotions behind, he seemed more at peace than he had been at the beginning of the conversation. If nothing else, it was a beginning.

* * *

**Author's notes:**

I didn't put a translation note in this chapter, since I've used the word before, but "_far_" means father. And that means that Norway actually does keep calling Scandia "Father." Exactly what that might mean at this point, I'm not sure, but it might not be a good sign.

At this point in the story, Norway's emotional state is about the same as it was after chapter eleven. Which means that from this point on, we will be seeing what would have happened if he hadn't had to return to Birger's house at that point. Last time, his condition got worse because he was trying to deal with everything alone, and had almost no contact with his family. Now that he is with his family, he might finally be able to deal with things.

In future chapters, more details about what Scandia did to Norway will be revealed—for example, what exactly is in all the memories that Norway had recently recovered? Also, had he repressed those memories himself, or was Scandia keeping him from remembering? (And, in an explanatory note: the gaps that Norway still has in his memory and doesn't want to admit to having deal with events that happened in chapters six and seven [split between the chapters] and chapter sixteen, as well as maybe a little of chapter seventeen.)

And there are other questions that have been raised in this story that still remain unanswered, and will be dealt with in future chapters or future stories in this series.

Among those question is the issue of whether Scandia is still any kind of threat. He can't do anything through the dreams anymore, and if he tries to visit again the rest of the family won't let him anywhere near Norway. However, if Scandia really hates Norway as much as he seems to, then it's only a matter of time before he finds a way to make another attempt. Also, there's the question of just how many attempt he's made to kill Norway—there are three that are known for sure: the one that led to the mother's death, and two attempts through the dreams. Were there any others during all the years that Norway lived with Scandia?

Also on the issue of potential threats, what about Birger? What exactly happened with him? Was he blamed for some of the more recent events—events which could have prevented if he hadn't been so dismissive of what Norway told him? And if Birger was held responsible, does he have any resentment towards Norway because of that? Knowing the way he seems to think, that seems quite likely—ironic considering that Birger started out as just wanted to protect Norway? At what point did that change so that by the end Birger was only worried about his job?

And, what is the event that happened during the occupation in World War II that has been hinted at a couple of times? Is that event what triggered the panic attack that Norway had at January's world meeting back in chapter one, or was that caused by something else?

Anyway, now that I've given hints at things I might address in future chapters or stories, I will conclude by saying that the next chapter should be out before the end of the month. In fact, I'm going to go so far as to give the 24th as a tentative release date for the next chapter.

This story is also available on Livejournal and Dreamwidth at the addresses given on my profile.

As always, reviews are appreciated, and I would like to thank my one reviewer from the previous chapter.


	26. Chapter 26

**Warnings: **This chapter takes a slightly darker turn again, and contains some suicidal thoughts. See previous chapters for other warnings.

Chapter Twenty-six

Nothing more was said about any of what had happened that day. After seeing how any discussion of these subjects upset Norway, the others all knew that they had to be careful about getting him to talk. They all knew that he needed to talk about it eventually, but they also knew that that needed to be on his terms, and when he was ready. If they tried to force him to talk when he wasn't ready, they risked making things worse.

They had been worried that he might try to withdraw from them again, but so far that had not happened. Although he refused to talk about the abuse in front of most of the family, he did seem to want to have them around—on some level their presence seemed to reassure him. In fact, sometimes, he seemed to actually be trying not to be left alone. But at the same time, he still seemed to be holding something back.

Now that the immediate dangers seemed to have passed, the rest of the family did start spending a little less time with Norway. They all had responsibilities of their own that had been neglected for most of the summer, and now they needed to start tending to those again. However, since the main part of their jobs involved doing paperwork, they made sure that one of them always worked at the house every day, just in case. That was how they had discovered that Norway seemed to be trying not to be alone. He would often seek out the one who had stayed at home with him that day and just stay in the room where they were working. He never said anything when he did this, but the others still took it as a positive sign.

More days passed and Norway had not said anything else either about the dream or about the memories he had recovered. The others could see signs that something was bothering him, but they were hesitant to force him to talk if there was no immediate crisis. He needed to talk about it, rather than trying to bury it again, but they did not want to force him and risk making him withdraw—and they wanted to avoid an incident like what had happened that one evening that he had tried to talk to all of them.

And as the month of August passed, the question of what to do about September's world meeting arose. By this time, Norway was probably healthy enough physically to attend the meeting—he was not fully recovered, but he was finally starting to show some small signs of improvement. However, the others were worried that the travel to and from the meeting might be too much for the level of strength he had managed to regain, especially as he was still having some complications from the amount of time he had gone without eating. And, most of all, they were worried about the effect that the meeting itself and dealing with all of the other nations, might have on Norway's already fragile emotional state. They all remembered the panic attack he had had during January's world meeting, and none of them wanted to risk a repetition of that. And, as they had no idea what might have triggered that attack, they could only worry that this upcoming meeting might cause another. Of course Norway had attended a few meetings during the intervening months, and had not seemed to suffer any ill effects that could be attributed to the meetings. And yet, somehow they felt that it might not be a good idea for him to attend this meeting.

The obvious solution would be to ask Norway how he felt about attending the meeting, but still they hesitated to do that until it was absolutely necessary. There was still about a week before they had to give notice as to whether or not they would be attending the meeting.

And, although none of them wanted to admit it, they were all dreading the next crisis that they were afraid would happen. It seemed as though the past several months had been on crisis after another.

* * *

There were only a few days left to make a decision by the time the topic of the meeting was finally brought up. It was during the time after dinner that the entire family had gathered in the living room. They had discussed this in advance and had decided that tonight was when they were going to bring up the topic of the meeting.

"The World Meeting is next week. Do you think you're ready to attend it, or do you need to wait another month?"

Norway did not answer immediately. He had known the meeting was approaching, but he had tried not to think about it. Thinking about the meeting meant remembering how he had embarrassed himself at January's meeting, and how everyone had started at him at every meeting since—like they were just waiting for him to show some sign of weakness. Even after having been told that most of the other nations were actually concerned about him, he still suspected that there was an ulterior motive to their concern. He had learned the hard way that there usually was an ulterior motive. And he had never formed any personal ties to any nations outside his immediate family—he dealt with them when his job required it, but he had no desire to deal with them socially. And he didn't think he was ready to face all those stares again, and every worse was the possibility of the questions he was sure they were all just waiting to ask. However, as much as he did not feel ready, he still felt like he had to go. He needed to get back to acting normal, so he would no longer be a burden to his family. "I think I need to go," he answered at last. He hoped he had successfully concealed all the reluctance he felt.

"You don't need to force yourself to go to the meeting if you're not ready, Norja," Finland said. "We just need to know, so we can make arrangements."

Norway realized then that he had failed to conceal his hesitation. "You won't let me stay here alone, will you?" he asked. He suspected that if he didn't go to this meeting, then the rest of the family probably would not attend either.

"I don't think any of us want to take that chance, at least not until you've recovered more. Plus, we'd be gone for at least three days."

"And what's why I have to go to the meeting. I don't want to be responsible for everyone missing the meeting. I know that you didn't go to the meeting this month."

"We missed a couple of meetings this summer, while you were in the hospital."

"So I'm keeping you from fulfilling your obligations," Norway said. "You haven't been able to do your job because of me. How can you still say I'm not a burden to you?"

"Norja, you're family—you're not a burden. No one here thinks that you're a burden."

Norway looked around at the other members of his family. They were all in the living room, but none of them had said anything in the conversation. They had probably been told not to unless asked a question. And the fact that none of them had said anything was doing nothing to change Norway's mind—they were the ones he believed hated him after all. Sometimes he almost was able to believe that maybe they didn't really hate him, but then he would start remembering things, and he would know that they must. He was really starting to wish that they would stop lying to him, and admit that they blamed him and that they really hated him—that they were only waiting to hurt him the way Scandia had. And lately, he had been getting this sense that there was something he had forgotten that would prove that he was right and that they really did hate him.

He looked down at the floor, unable to look at them any longer. He wasn't sure what he felt at that moment—so many thoughts were going around in his mind and each thought seemed to trigger a different emotion. However, he still tried to keep any sign of this from being visible to his family, not wanting to give any more of an advantage than they already had. They knew how weak he was right now, and if they wanted to take advantage of their condition, there would be nothing he could do to stop them. And they must have some ulterior motive—after all, why else would they have done all that they had over the last year. And Norway remembered that Birger had always said that his family must have some ulterior motive, just like Scandia had always said they secretly hated him. And once again, there was that nagging feeling that he was forgetting something that would prove that.

"Why can't you stop pretending to care?" he whispered, almost too quietly for the words to be heard. "I know you don't. They said that you didn't." Of course, his mother had told him that his family cared about him, but she might have been lying. She had been trying to protect him after all—maybe she had also tried to protect him from the knowledge of the truth, and from the pain that knowledge would cause. She could not have known that he already knew the truth.

For a few moments, no one said anything. None of the other members of the family knew what the best thing to say to Norway was, but they knew saying the wrong thing would make things worse—it always did. But how could they make Norway see that they cared about him when nothing they said or did could convince him of that fact.

Of course, Norway took their silence as proof of their true feelings towards him. Before any of them even would have had a chance to say anything, Norway stood up and walked out of the room. He did not want to stay there and listen to anymore lies from them. Tomorrow, he would convince them that he needed to attend the meeting and hopefully then the subject would be dropped.

* * *

Later that night, once he was alone in the room his family had fixed up for him, Norway was unable to sleep. There were still too many thoughts going around in his mind, and he could not turn them off in order to sleep. However, his thoughts kept coming back to one fact—his family had not said anything once he had told them to stop pretending. That meant they really didn't care about him. He overlooked the fact that he had only given them a few moments to say something, but in his current mindset the fact that they had not said anything immediately was enough to prove to him that they had been lying.

Without realizing that he was doing so, Norway started tracing the fingers of his right hand over the scar on his left wrist. The scar was slowly fading, but it would be visible for at least another year if not longer. Eventually though it would disappear, as it had not been caused by a national incident. Right now, though, it was still clearly visible, and anyone who saw it would think that Norway had tried to kill himself. And he knew that some of the other nations must have seen it—he had attended three world meetings with it uncovered after all, and another one where it had still been covered by the splint that he had worn while the damaged tendon had healed.

Not for the first time since the injury had occurred, Norway wondered what would have happened if his family had not made him wake up. It might have been better for them in the long run—they would not have had to spend so many months taking care of him. They would not be forced to pretend they cared about him when he already knew that they didn't. And most importantly, he would no longer be a burden to them—that was the same thing that had almost made him go through the door, the fact that he was nothing but a burden to everyone.

He kept trying to get these thoughts to leave him alone, but they continued to come back and eventually he gave up on trying to chase them away. He remembered and more and more incidents and words that made it clear to him that his family didn't really care about him—regardless of whether or not they claimed to. And as these memories went through his mind he once again began to feel like he remembered something else—something about why his family had been forced to leave back in January. Something had happened that last night before they left, but the full memory continued to elude him. There was just this nagging feeling that he had forgotten something important.

Eventually, he could no longer hold back the exhaustion that plagued his still recovering body, and he drifted into a restless sleep.

* * *

In the morning, it seemed that everyone was determined to not speak about the previous night's events. The only reference to any of the discussion from the previous night dealt with the upcoming world meeting and the necessity of getting the doctor's opinion as to whether or not Norway was well enough to attend—there was no longer any question of whether he would be attending, as long as he was well enough. That day happened to be one of the days that he had a doctor's appointment, and the doctor said that he could attend the meeting as long as he would careful not to overdo it. He was still recovering after all, and he most likely would not survive another relapse.

At various times that day, Norway caught himself rubbing the scar on his wrist. He always stopped as soon as he realized what he was doing, and he hoped his family had not noticed his new habit. And, he continued to feel like there was something important that he had forgotten about the events in January—something that would prove that his family really was only pretending to care about him and that they had ulterior motives for doing so.

* * *

After a couple of more days, it was time to travel to the world meeting, which was thankfully not being held too far away. It was early afternoon when they arrived and checked into their hotel—the same hotel that all of the other nations were also staying at.

Norway had almost immediately gone to his room. He was more tired than he had wanted to let his family see. His strength had been very slow to return this time, and he despite the fact that he wasn't supposed to, he had insisted on walking up to his room without help. The doctors were concerned enough about the condition he had been in, that they had given orders that he wasn't supposed to do much walking until more of his strength had returned. He was pretty much limited to inside the house—outside the house he was not supposed to be walking around unaided. However, he had insisted on leaving all of that back at the house, not wanting to look weak in front of any of the other nations. He had done enough of that already—and he was sure there were people out there would take advantage of any sign of weakness that he might show.

Of course, it was the people that he should have been able to trust who had always been the ones to hurt him—his father, his older brothers, his cousins, and even someone from his government. Those were all people he should have been able to trust and they had all hurt him, in different ways, but sometimes in ways that were all too similar. Something about that thought once again reminded him of the feeling he had about having forgotten something important that had happened in January.

Not bothering to put the security lock on the door, Norway went and lay down on the bed. He knew that he only had a few hours until someone from his family would come by to make sure he went to dinner with them. They had insisted on being given an extra key to his room—just in case something happened. They were already using his weakness as an excuse to take away any privacy he might have otherwise been given.

Norway tried to relax and gather enough strength to allow him to face the walk through the lobby past all the nations that would probably be staring at him—just like they had at the last several meetings he had attended. Once again, he found himself rubbing the scar on his wrist and wondering if maybe it would have better if he had died in January—if his family had waited only a few minutes longer to get into his room it might have been too late. And given everything that had happened over the past several months, he sometimes felt that might have been better. He was getting tired of living this way, constantly waiting for things to keep getting worse. And by now he knew that they always would.

There were times when wondered why he had even tried to find a way back. If he had gone through that door, he would have been trapped with his father for all eternity, but he also would have been with someone that he knew cared about him. As much as he wanted to believe that his family cared about him, he could never be completely sure. And he kept getting this sense that if he remembered what he had forgotten from that night in January, then he would have proof that what he had always been told was the truth—his family didn't care about him and they were only pretending to because of some ulterior motives.

* * *

The next morning, Norway was aware of very little of what was being discussed at the meeting—not that much really was discussed, as the meeting had quickly descended into the usual chaos. His mind was still preoccupied with the thoughts that had consumed him for several days now. He felt like all the thinking he was doing about this was bringing him closer to remembering whatever it was that he forgotten. Somehow he knew that if he could remember what had happened in January that had led to his family being sent away, he would know that truth about whether or not they really cared about him.

All morning he sat there, at the same table as the rest of the family, and in a room with most of the other nations. However, for all that he was aware of anyone in the room he might as well have been alone back in this hotel room or back at the house. He wasn't sure if he wanted to be alone or not, at the moment. Being alone meant that he didn't have to worry about concealing signs of weakness, but it also meant that there would be no one to stop him if he really did start regretting not having gone through that door or having been woken up in time in January.

He had wanted to be left alone, then. He remembered that much. When he had been in the hospital in January, he had wanted his family to leave him alone. He had been being questioned constantly about who had hurt him, and Birger had been determined even then to suspect his family. That first night in the hospital, Birger had told him that his family had left him there—that was why he had been so surprised to see them the next day.

It hadn't been until a couple of days later, that they had left, and Norway could not remember what had happened the last time they had visited him. But he could feel that he was finally close to filling in the gap in his memory. He clearly remembered that he had been in bed and that Denmark had been leaning over him, touching him. That was where the memory began to get confusing. Norway remembered feeling hands on his shoulders, holding him down on the bed. He remembered struggling to get away, but not being successful—those hands would not let go. And he knew what that meant would happen next. And then the final memory fell into place, and he knew what had happened—he remembered the hand brushing against his curl and putting an end to his attempts at resistance. He could not yet remember what had happened after that, but he could guess. And there was the proof—his family was only pretending to care for him so that they could use him the way Scandia had. They had all been in the room, and none of them had done anything to help him.

Once the forgotten memory had fallen into place, Norway became fully aware of his surroundings for the first time that morning, and he realized that room had fallen almost completely silent. Several of the nations present in the room were staring at him. That was when he noticed the dampness on his face, and realized that he was crying. There was only one thought in his mind—he had to get away, he could not stay there at a table surrounded by people who only wanted to take advantage of his weakness. And he was sure that all of the others who were staring at him would want the same thing if they knew what his family knew.

He stood up, using the back of the chair to steady himself against the wave of lightheadedness that swept over him at the too-quick movement. There was no time to wait for it to pass—he needed to get away before anyone could trap him there. As quickly as he could, he crossed the room to the door, ignoring all who called out to him. The only thought on his mind was that he needed to escape before he could be hurt again.

* * *

**Author's notes:**

I'm not sure about how this chapter turned out, as there is barely any dialogue in the entire chapter. That is partially because the chapter needed to be mostly introspective, but I still felt like I should have put more dialogue in it. I actually started this chapter twice before managing to get it turned out halfway decent, though, so I'm not really sure what I could have done differently. I can promise that the next chapter will definitely contain more talking, though.

For anyone who doesn't remember, this chapter refers back to the events that happened at the end of chapter six. Norway had blocked out that memory, because he couldn't handle it at the time. And there's a reason that he recovered it when and how he did, and that will be explained in an upcoming chapter—I will say, though, that it has to do with all the other memories he recovered at the end of the dream. That incident is something that needs to be dealt with before he can begin to trust his family, though. (As well as other incidents that have happened in the past. At this point, Norway only trusts two of the other people in his family, but he's still afraid that one of those people hates him.)

As for the reason that everyone is so worried about making sure that Norway doesn't overdo it, and why he's not supposed to be doing too much walking (or activity in general, really), that is going to be explained early in the next chapter, and has been hinted at and referred to a few other times. It's because of a complication from the physical condition he was in, but no one has wanted to come right out and say what it is—which is the reason the references to it in this chapter are so vague.

The next chapter should be out in a couple of weeks. I am going to be doing Camp Nano next month as a rebel, and working on this story. And I will break the no editing rule so that I can post the next chapter at a reasonable time. (Since I'm already breaking the rules to work on a WIP.)

Also, I should be receiving my invitation to Archive of Our Own later this week. At that point, I will begin editing both "Family Secrets" and this story in order to post them there. (It won't be a major edit, I'm mainly going to fix any typos that I've missed and remove some of the foreign phrases that I used in earlier chapters.) Updates on this site will continue as usual until this story is finished, and future stories will be posted to both sites.

And in a final note, I would like to say a quick thanks to everyone who reviewed the previous chapter.


	27. Chapter 27

**Warning: **This chapter contains suicidal thoughts. Please, read with caution. See previous chapters for other warnings.

Chapter Twenty-seven

The other Nordics had noticed that Norway seemed to be distracted by something that morning, but they had not been too worried about it. He had seemed distracted a lot lately, and they just assumed that it was his way of working through everything that he was trying to deal with. They did find it a little worrying that he was still trying to deal with everything alone but accepted that it might still take a little time before he felt he could trust them. And they knew that he was used to dealing with this on his own. The biggest concern they had when they noticed his distraction that morning was that it might add to the rumors that were going around about what was going on with him.

It was late morning by the time they realized that something might actually be wrong. The first indication was when they heard a soft cry, barely loud enough to be heard over the chaos in the room. Despite the quietness of the sound, though, there was no mistaking the fear it held, and they all looked towards Norway. Even having heard the fear in his voice, they were still surprised by his expression of distress and the tears they could see in his eyes.

No one else seemed to have noticed anything yet. There was a big argument taking place on the other side of the room, and most of the other nations present at the meeting had their attention on that. The few that were not involved in or watching the argument were taking the opportunity to converse with their neighbors. But, regardless of what everyone was doing, no one was currently looking towards their table. That meant there still might be time to do something before anyone else noticed and the rumors increased.

The question was what to do. Norway seemed unaware of anyone else in the room, and they were unsure of how to get his attention without risking frightening him more. Plus, they had noticed before that when he seemed this unaware of his surroundings it was almost impossible to get his attention until the memory or whatever it was had passed. They never had figured out what these episodes were. The next sound that he made was a little louder, but still went mostly unnoticed over the surrounding chaos. He was crying now and his breathing was a little too rapid.

Before any of them actually had a chance to act, it was too late to prevent drawing the attention of anyone else in the room. The sounds were now loud enough to begin to draw attention, and the final cry drew everyone's attention—even those who had been involved in the loud argument. The previous chaos was now replaced by complete silence, as the eyes of the most of those present in the room turned towards their table.

That final cry seemed to have ended the episode, as Norway now seemed to be aware of his surroundings. Before anyone could say anything to him, Norway quickly stood up. He briefly used the back of his chair to support himself before turning away from the tables and heading towards the door.

"Nor!"

Norway did not stop or even give any sign that he had heard his name called. He had reached the door by this point, and in another moment, he was gone.

The silence that had fallen a few moments that had fallen earlier was replaced by a barrage of questions about what was going on. The other Nordics ignored all of the questions about what was going on with Norway. They knew that not answering the questions would add to the rumors going around, but at the moment, the most important thing was that they found Norway before something bad happened to him. He still wasn't fully recovered from earlier that summer.

As quickly as they could, they all got up to go in search of Norway. The last thing they heard before leaving the conference room was an announcement that the meeting would be breaking for lunch a little early.

There was no sign of Norway out in the lobby, and his family had no idea where he might have gone. For the moment, they could only hope that he hadn't already left the hotel. There were enough places to search in the hotel, and if he had left, they had no idea how to even begin looking for him. Of course, the best case scenario was that he had simply gone to his room.

"I'll check Norja's room," Finland said. He was the one that was holding onto the extra key, and he was also the one that Norway was most comfortable with at that point. He was also the one who knew for sure just how close to the edge Norway was right now, as he had seen it in some of their conversations.

They split up, the other three checking various public areas in the hotel, while Finland went to check Norway's room. He had really hoped that Norway had just gone there, but the room was empty, and there was no sign that anyone had been there since earlier that morning, before the meeting.

* * *

Later none of them would be sure of exactly how long the search had taken. They had gone through every part of the hotel that was open to the public, calling for Norway. They hadn't even bothered with making sure they remembered to use his human name in public.

They had made an attempt at calling his cell phone but the phone had immediately gone to voicemail.

By that point, they were beginning to reach the conclusion that Norway must have left the hotel, and none of them wanted to consider what that might mean. And it was more than the fact that if he wasn't in the hotel, they had no idea where else to look for him. There was also his physical condition to be considered—although none of them wanted to think about it, they were all aware of the reason that the doctors were so concerned about making sure that Norway didn't push himself too hard. They knew that one of the complications that had developed during the previous months wasn't resolving itself the way the doctors had initially believed it would.

They had seen some of the other nations during their search of the hotel, and knew that the meeting had not resumed. However, none of them were worried about missing the afternoon part of the meeting. The most important thing at the moment—possibly the only important thing at the moment—was finding Norway . . . before it was too late.

"Where could he have gone?"

"I don't know. I was hoping that he just gone to his room to be alone. He's probably upset about what happened during the meeting, in addition to whatever he remembered. But his room looks like no one has been there since earlier this morning."

They were in the lobby of the hotel, trying to decide on their next move. If they had to search outside the hotel there was even less guarantee that they would find Norway in time than there had been if he was hiding someplace in the hotel. However, before any of them could make the suggestion of searching outside the hotel, their attention was caught by a conversation between a couple of hotel employees.

"I'm sure that door was locked earlier," one of them was saying. "I don't see how any of the guests could have unlocked it, or why any of them would want to go up on the roof. And now I have to report that open door and have it checked before we can lock it again. The roof is off limits for a reason."

"I'm not sure I'd put anything past those people that are here for that conference. They say they're here for some kind of international conference, but some of them are really strange. And did you catch that commotion last night?"

"No, I wasn't working last night. What happened?"

The two employees had almost completely passed by at that moment, and the conversation had moved on to a recounting of some incident from the previous evening. But they were no longer listening to the conversation, having gotten the information they needed from it.

A door that led to the hotel roof had been opened when it shouldn't have, and that was one place they hadn't thought to look. And, it was a place where no one would be likely to look, so it made sense that Norway might have gone up there to be alone. They could only hope that was why he had gone up there, and not another—more disturbing—reason.

* * *

Denmark was the first to reach the stairs leading up the roof. His need to find Norway—to know that Norway was safe—had been so great that he had not waited for the end of the discussion about whether or not the roof was even worth checking. When he reached this final set of stairs, he once again chose not to wait for the others, who were still probably on their way up. He ran up the stairs and to the door that opened onto the roof. The door had been left slightly ajar, and he opened it and stepped out onto the roof.

Norway had in fact gone up to the roof. He was standing near the edge of the roof, facing away from the door. He did not turn around or give any sign that he noticed he was no longer alone.

"Nor?" Denmark took a couple of steps towards Norway. "We've been looking all over for you."

At the sound of Denmark's voice, Norway had spun around to face him. He had an expression of pure terror on his face, for some reason. "Stay away from me!" He backed up a couple of steps, almost to the low wall that ran around edge of the roof. If he actually reached the edge, that wall would be the only thing standing in between him and a long drop to the pavement below.

Despite his tendency to not always respect Norway's boundaries, Denmark did not want to put Norway's life in danger, so he stayed where he was. "Nor, what's wrong?" he asked. He was very worried by the way Norway was acting right now.

Norway did not answer immediately. He still looked completely terrified, and his face was tearstained. He was not crying at the moment, but he looked like he could start again at any time. He also seemed unconcerned by just how close he was to the edge of the roof. After several moments had passed, he finally spoke. "Stay away from me," he repeated. "I don't want to talk to you right now. Not after what you did."

Denmark had no idea what Norway was talking about. Ever since the incident in January, he had tried to be careful to respect Norway's boundaries. Sure he had failed sometimes, but he had been trying. And, it didn't make sense that this could be about that incident in January. That had happened over six months ago—why would Norway just be getting upset about it now?

"Why didn't you ever admit that you just want the same thing _Far _did?" Norway asked, after a few moments had passed in silence. "You're the one who told me my government had lied to me, but you never said anything about what you did."

So apparently this was about the incident in January. "Nor, that was an accident." It had been a very unfortunate accident, and quite possible the worst thing he could have done in those circumstances, but it had been an accident nonetheless. "I wouldn't do that to you on purpose."

Norway backed up another step, increasing the distance between them. He was right up against the low wall now. "I wanted to trust you," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I wanted to believe that you might actually care, but you just want _that_, just like _Far_. I said that night that you were just like him, but I didn't realize how much. And the others must not care either, because none of them stopped you. They were all right there, and they let you do that. I should have just gone through the door, instead of trying to come back. But I actually thought you cared. I heard you call me—you and Island. And when I heard that, I thought you actually cared, but you just didn't want to lose something you could control. You're probably just waiting for the chance to make me your province again."

"I do care about you, Nor. You're my best friend, and my little brother. And I don't want _that_ from you. If I did, I would have taken it while we were married." Denmark was starting to wish he had waited for the others for once. Some of them might have a better chance of getting through to Norway, since everything he had said so far just seemed to make things so worse. And he was worried by just how close to the edge of the roof Norway was—all it would take was one of those spells of lightheadedness and he could fall. And if he fell from this height, he probably wouldn't survive.

Norway had turned away again, to look back over the edge. Thankfully, he remained within the wall, but there was something worrying about the way he stood so close to the edge, and the way he was looking out at the long drop to the ground below. Even more disturbing was the fact that was once again rubbing the scar on his wrist.

* * *

The three other members of the family had not left the lobby immediately. They had been about to when someone had come in from outside and yelled something about there being a jumper on the roof of the hotel. They weren't sure if Norway had gone up there, but if he had then it looked like the scenario that they had all been afraid of. None of them had wanted to admit that was one of the things they were worried about, but they had still worried about it.

The announcement had caused something of a mass exodus out of the lobby, and most of the people in there had headed outside to see what was going on. Most of the other nations were among those who went outside, which meant that more rumors would probably be starting up. Hopefully rumors would be the biggest problem they would have after this was over.

But the rest of the family was left with something of a dilemma. Should they go up to the roof and see if Norway really was up there, or should they inform someone on the hotel staff of their suspicions and let the authorities deal with the situation. There was no doubt that authorities would be summoned after the announcement that had just been made.

Finland had realized the last time he had really talked to Norway just how close to the edge the other man was right now. And he knew that if the suspicions the rest of the family was all harboring about why Norway might have gone up to the roof proved to be true, then Iceland should not witness what might happen.

They all knew that Denmark had immediately gone after Norway, but they had some doubts about whether that would be enough. They probably all needed to get up there soon, but what if they made things worse? What if something they did caused the outcome they were hoping to prevent?

"I'm going to see if I can talk to someone on the hotel staff, and find out what they're doing about the situation," Finland said. He knew that the next thing he was about to suggest was risky, but he couldn't think of a better option. "Sve, can you go up there and try to keep the situation from getting worse?" He there was a risk that having Denmark and Sweden both up there might make the situation worse—if they started fighting that might be the final thing that it took to push Norway over the edge. However, they did seem able to work together when their little brother was actually in danger, so he decided to take a chance on that fact. "I'll be up there as soon as I find out what the staff is planning to do about the situation." Finally he turned to Iceland. "Islanti, I'd like you to stay with me for now."

"I can go up there," Iceland said. "You don't need to keep protecting me from what's going on with Noregur. I need to know that he's alright."

"You can come up later. Right now, I want you to come with me to talk to the hotel staff, and find out if they're doing anything about the situation." He really didn't want to allow Iceland to witness any of this, but wasn't really sure how to prevent that.

* * *

Back on the roof, Norway was keeping his attention focused outwards, and trying to ignore the fact that Denmark had not left. He could see that a crowd was gathering down on the ground, and knew what they must be thinking. He wasn't sure if they were wrong—he had been thinking that when he came up here, but something was still holding him back. He realized that he was once again rubbing the scar on his wrist, and forced himself to stop.

He tried not to look at the crowd gathering down on the pavement below—he wasn't sure whether or not he wanted to recognize anyone. There was very little doubt that at least some of the other nations were down there watching him—that might even be where the rest of his family was.

It was taking most of his strength to stay on his feet. He had used most of the strength he had getting out of the conference room and making his way up to the roof. The stairs to the roof were the first full flight of stairs he had climbed since . . . He suddenly realized that he couldn't remember the last time. He knew he had been upstairs for a while, but he still couldn't remember climbing that stairs. That was the one gap that still remained in his memory.

He turned to look back towards where Denmark was still standing and watching him. "Why can't you just leave me alone?" Norway asked. "I said I didn't want to talk to you." He had already said more than he had wanted to. As he looked at his older brother, his mind replayed the recently recovered memory, and he shook his head in an attempt to push the images out. He had calmed down a little when he had first come up here, but now he was starting to have trouble catching his breath again, and he could feel the familiar tightness in his chest returning.

"I'm not leaving you alone up here, Nor."

It was taking all of Norway's remaining strength to keep from losing control, but he was determined not to break down in front of someone who had hurt him before. He couldn't stand the possibility of being hurt like that again. Once again, the need to escape began to come over him.

_"You know that he will find another opportunity if you don't get away. All it would take is a couple of steps, and it will all be over. You will never have to be hurt by them again. And you won't be a burden to anyone anymore either. All of the pain will be over in a few moments."_

Norway took a couple of steps away from the wall before falling to his knees. That voice had sounded a little like his father, and he didn't want to listen to it. But he couldn't get that thought out of his mind. All he would have to do was get up and walk the few steps back to the wall, climb up on the wall, and then take one more step—and it would all be over. All of the pain, all of the fear—it would all be over. And he would no longer be a burden to his family . . . They would be free to return to their own lives. But still something held him back.

After a moment, he became aware that someone was standing over him, and he looked up to see Denmark. Norway flinched and moved back, without getting to his feet. He couldn't handle it if Denmark touched him right now, not after what he had just remembered.

"Go away," he said, still barely above a whisper. "Leave me alone." He could feel tears forming in his eyes again, and knew that he was about to start crying once again. He was still having trouble catching his breath too, and the pain in his chest was increasing.

It was at that moment that the door to the roof opened again, and Sweden joined the other two Scandinavians on the roof.

Norway used a large part of what remained of his strength to force himself to his feet. He would not look weak in front of both of his older brothers. He could not give them any encouragement to try to take control of him again—especially now that he knew that was all they wanted. He tried to cover up what he was feeling, but he knew he was not completely successful. Once he was standing, he took a couple of steps back until he was right by the wall. He was trying to ignore the growing sense of lightheadedness that had plagued him since he had left the meeting, but he was not sure how long he could be successful.

For the first few moments, no one said anything. This was the first time in a while that the three of them had been alone together, which added another complication to an already difficult situation.

Norway looked back down towards the ground. For a moment he once again thought about how it easy it would be—just another couple steps and he could be free from all the pain of this past year. He would no longer have to live with the fear and the constant struggle to keep the fear hidden as much as possible. He would no longer have to face all of the memories of everything that had happened during the years he had lived with his father.

This time he knew what held him back. He did not feel like he could take those final steps while both of his older brothers were standing there watching him. Despite the fact that he was almost completely convinced they only wanted to use him, there was still a part of him that wanted to believe they cared. There had been a time once, a long time ago, when he had really believed he could trust them, and he could remember more of that time now. But the many incidents over the intervening years had eroded that trust until there was very little left.

From behind him, he could hear them talking to each other, but he couldn't focus enough to really follow what they were talking about. There were two things that he did notice, though. The first was that they were talking to each other—talking, not arguing. The second was that they were talking about him. Without turning around to look at them, he repeated what he had said a couple of times before. "Leave me alone. I just want to be alone." He kept his gaze focused down towards the crowd, watching the crowd that was still gathering down there.

"Norge, w' can't leave y' alone up here. Y're not supposed t' be up here, and th' hotel staff is calling someone wh' can make y' come down. Everyone thinks that y' came up here t' kill y'rself."

Norway did not turn around when he replied. "I came up here because I didn't think anyone would look here. I just want to be alone. I don't want to be around people who just see me as something to control. And why would you care if that was why I came up here—that would leave you free to go on with your own lives. I wouldn't be a burden to you anymore. And I know that I was never more than a possession to either of you, so don't bother pretending that you care now."

"Y' weren't a possession."

"Then I was a replacement. It doesn't make that much of a difference." Norway still kept his gaze focused on the ground far below.

"Nor, you almost died back then. You weren't strong enough to be on your own. If you had left, you probably would have died, so I made sure you couldn't leave."

Norway finally turned around to face them. "Maybe I would have rather taken that chance, instead of having to spend four hundred years as nothing more than your province. I'd taken care of myself and Island up until then, and I could have continued doing so. You weren't offering your protection when I actually wanted it. All of those years that I lived with _Far_, I kept hoping that you would find out what he was doing and help me. Every night for the first year, I used to cry myself to sleep and I would have given anything to be rescued then. And neither of you ever saw. You just thought I was his favorite." He had to stop talking long enough to catch his breath, but now that he had started, he just couldn't stop talking. He had kept all of this bottled up for too long, now, and could no longer keep it all buried.

He could not look at them as he continued to say everything that he had kept buried for so long. "After I had Island, I vowed to protect him and make sure that he had a better childhood than I did. But I couldn't even do that. You separated us from each other, and you wouldn't even let me see him. Did either of you ever think about how I may have felt about being traded between you like some kind of prize, or how difficult it was to be separated from my child."

"W' didn't kn'w h' was y'r child until l'st year."

"Would it have made a difference if you had known? All either of you cared about was your fight with each other. I was nothing more than a pawn to you in that fight. I was nothing more than something that you could control, or a replacement." Norway knew that he was close to breaking down again, and he wanted to get away before that happened. He did not want to stay here and listen to any more of their lies, but there was no where he could go. He was right up against the wall the circled the edge of the roof, and if he tried to go back into the hotel, they would just follow him. He turned around again, and looked back out towards the crowd gathered below. As he did so, a stronger wave of lightheadedness swept over him, and he stumbled and almost fell.

"Nor!"

Norway just managed to catch himself and stay on his feet—and on the roof. He did not acknowledge the call from behind him. He still felt somewhat lightheaded, and it was taking all of his control at the moment just to stay standing. The events of the morning had almost been more than he could handle physically, and he knew that soon what strength remained would run out. He also knew that if he stayed right where he was, when that happened, it would save him the trouble of having to make the decision to take those final steps.

"Norge, y' weren't a replacement. I w's worried 'bout what would happen t' y' if y' stayed with Danmark. 'nd if there h'd been a way, I would have taken Island as well."

For a moment, Norway thought about that. Neither of the two unions really stood out as a pleasant memory in his mind, although they were nothing compared to the years he had lived with his father. It was true the second union, the one he had been in with Sweden, had lasted for less than a hundred years. He had eventually been allowed to leave that union, even if that had been with the expectation that he would fail—an expectation that he had spent many of the years since trying to prove wrong. And even during that union, he had been allowed some small degrees of freedom—he had been allowed to keep his constitution, he had been allowed to have his own flag (even if he still had to include the symbol of the union). So maybe in those few ways that union had been the better one.

Slowly, Norway turned around to face his brothers, noticing that they had moved closer to him while his back was turned. Any apprehension he might have felt because of that fact was forgotten as another wave of lightheadedness swept over him. This was the strongest wave so far, and he stumbled back from the force of it. This time he was unable to stop himself and backed right into the low wall that surrounding the roof. He was starting to lose his awareness of his surroundings. As his awareness started to fade, felt himself falling. He thought he felt someone grab his arm. And then there was nothing but darkness.

* * *

**Author's notes:**

I'm sorry about the cliffhanger, but I hope to have the next chapter out next week or early the week after at the latest. It's actually written, so I can post it as soon as it's edited. (I'm actually working on chapter thirty-two right now. I've been doing this story for Camp Nano this month, and I think I may actually manage to win.)

Part of the reason I'm writing so far ahead right now is because school starts again next week. And, since this is going to be my last semester, I'm also going to be job hunting. So I wanted to get as much of this story written out while I had the time as I could. That way if I get really busy with real life stuff, I'll have several chapters that will just need to be edited.

I don't think I really have anything that I need to explain in this chapter, but if anyone has any questions I will try to remember to address them when I post the next chapter.

Please review. I'm a little sad that no one reviewed the chapter before this one, even though that chapter didn't really contain much to review.


	28. Chapter 28

**Warning: **Like the previous chapter this chapter also contains some suicidal thoughts, as well as discussion of those thoughts. If this is a trigger for anyone, please read with caution. A brief summary of chapters 27 and 28 will be provided at the beginning of the next chapter, in case anyone needed to skip them.

Chapter Twenty-eight

When Norway opened his eyes sometime later, he was surprised to find himself in the bed in his hotel room. The last thing that he remembered was being on the roof—actually, the last thing he remembered was falling, so he was a little surprised to be waking up at all. However, that memory left him even more confused about how he had gotten here.

At first, he thought he was alone in the room, but when he looked to the side, he saw that Iceland was here with him. The younger nation had pulled a chair up to the side of the bed, and was sitting there watching him. No one else was in the room, though.

"I told you not to scare us like that again, _bróðir_," Iceland said, after a few moments had passed. "You could have been killed."

Norway wasn't sure how to respond to that at first. On some level, he was still wondering if that outcome might have been better. He may have turned away from the edge right before he had started to fall, but he still believed that his family might be better off without him. But any thoughts he might have had of saying something like that were banished by sight of the tearstains still visible on the younger nation's face. When Norway saw that, the only thing he felt was guilt at the realization that he had hurt the one person he had vowed to never hurt. "I'm sorry," he said, after a few moments. That was only partially true—he wasn't sorry about going up to the roof, or about having considered what he had, but he was sorry that he had hurt Iceland.

Another couple of moments passed in silence. Norway was still trying to figure out what had happened after the last thing he remembered. He had no idea how he much time had passed since then, but he guessed it probably hadn't been too long. He was also wondering where the rest of the family was, as he was a little surprised that none of the others were there. After all, he remembered that Denmark and Sweden had been with him earlier—one of them was probably the one who had stopped him from falling. Maybe they were all at the meeting. Was the meeting still going on, though? Was this even the same day?

"It is still the first?" Norway asked after another few moments of silence.

"Yes. You've only been asleep for about an hour."

"You should probably go downstairs then. I don't want to make you miss the rest of the meeting." Norway assumed that the rest of his family was at the meeting, and he wondered why Iceland had been allowed to stay with him. It wasn't like anything important usually happened at the meetings, but still . . . Attending the meetings was an important part of being a nation.

"The meeting isn't going on right now."

Before Norway could ask about the meeting, the door opened and Finland entered the room.

"Oh, good, you're awake, Norja. The doctor said you were just exhausted, but we were still worried. How are you feeling?"

"I'm alright," Norway answered. He still felt a little dizzy, but it wasn't too bad now that he was lying down. "What happened?"

"You collapsed while you were up on the roof and almost fell. Tanska and Sve saved you and they brought you down here so you could rest. The hotel had called emergency services when everyone thought you were going to jump, so we were able to get a medic to examine you. He said you had just pushed yourself too hard, and that you would be alright once you had some rest and something to eat. Your blood pressure and heart rate are still too low, and you shouldn't have been doing all that activity. You know you're not supposed to be climbing stairs yet. Your doctor doesn't even want you doing that much walking."

Norway was aware of that fact, but he had chosen to ignore it. He hated being seen as weak and having so many limitations on what he was allowed to do. But he had not wanted the other nations, the ones outside his family that was, to know just how weak he was right now, physically. He was sure that he could trust them not to take advantage of him . . . He wasn't even completely sure that that he could trust his whole family not to take advantage of him. "Where are Danmark and Sverige?" he asked.

"They're downstairs in the meeting room. After we talked to the doctor, they went to tell the others that you were going to be alright. Everyone was worried about you, after seeing you nearly fall. From down on the ground, it really looked like you were going to fall for a minute. Tanska managed to grab you when you started to fall, but he didn't have a good enough grip to be able to pull you up on his own. So even though we could see that someone had grabbed onto you, it was still a while before it looked like you were safe."

"You were down there?" Norway had pretty much guessed from the way the account had been worded, but he wanted to know for sure.

"So was Islanti."

Norway turned his head to look at Iceland, who was still sitting in the chair beside the bed. Now he realized the reason for the tear stains he had seen on the younger nations face. "I'm sorry," he said again. "I didn't want to make you worry. I just needed to be alone, and I didn't think anyone would look there." This was not the time to admit that he actually had thought about jumping, and that he still wasn't sure he had made the right decision by turning away from the edge. So he left that part out of what he said.

"Noregur, you could have been killed. When you almost fell, I was afraid you were going to die. I don't want to lose you, _bróðir_."

Norway hadn't realized until that moment that those words were something he had needed to hear. He had noticed that Iceland had started calling him brother more often during the past couple months, but had assumed it was just a way of not acknowledging their true relationship. But now he realized that Iceland might really care about him—and he was the one who had wanted Iceland to call him brother. And then to know that Iceland cared about what happened to him—that knowledge was finally starting to sink in for the first time.

And maybe his older brothers cared about him as well. They had saved his life up on the roof after all. If they really hated him, they could have just let him fall, and then they could have found some way to take over his land. But instead they had saved him.

He had thought that he was nothing more than a burden to his family, but maybe they really did care. Maybe they would have been upset if he had jumped. Maybe they didn't secretly hate him or have some ulterior motive for pretending to care.

While these thoughts had been going through his mind, Norway had started once again rubbing the scar on his wrist. As soon as he realized what he was doing he forced himself to stop and hoped the others hadn't noticed.

"Is your wrist hurting, Norja? You've been rubbing it a lot lately."

Norway didn't know how to answer Finland's question. He didn't want to talk about the kind of things he had been thinking lately in front of Iceland. But he couldn't lie and say that his wrist was hurting either. He had really just been hoping that no one from his family would notice his new habit. "No, it doesn't hurt. I didn't realize I'd been rubbing it," he answered at last. He knew that would be enough for now, and the topic would be dropped.

"You should probably eat something now that you're awake," Finland said. "You missed lunch time earlier, and you shouldn't be skipping meals right now."

Norway didn't really feel like eating, but he knew he wouldn't be allowed to skip a meal. Plus, he knew that he might feel better after eating. So after a moment, he gave his assent to eating. But there was still one thing he was wondering about, and he decided to ask that while they were waiting for the food to be sent up. "What happened with the meeting?"

"The meeting broke for lunch right after you left. Several of the others stayed here in the hotel, and heard the rumors that were going around that someone had gone up on the roof to commit suicide. Several of them went out to see what was going on, and others who were returning from lunch also witnessed the scene outside. Once you were saved from falling, most of them wanted to know if you were alright, and they asked about what's been going on with you. They've been waiting in the conference room for news. More people care about you than you realize, Norja."

Norway wasn't sure if he really believed that. It was still difficult enough for him to believe that his family might really care about him. Believing the other nations, who he had never interacted with socially without having been forced into it, cared about him was more than he was ready to accept right now. He believed they had probably been more curious than worried. Or maybe some of them had been looking for a way to use the situation to their advantage. But he did not say anything about that. "I remembered why you were sent away in January," he said, after a few moments of silence. "That was why I left the meeting. I needed to be alone, and I was afraid to be around anyone at the time. I didn't want to be found." He was silent for a few more moments before asking, "Was it really an accident?"

"Yes. It could have been avoided if Tanska had stopped touching you when you got so upset, but it was an accident. You turned your head suddenly, and his hand slipped. After that, you scared all of us by being completely unresponsive for a couple of minutes. We couldn't get any response out of you until shortly before the doctor arrived."

"I think I remember that," Norway said. "I remember hearing Island talking to me, and then seeing that the two of you were there, and that Danmark and Sverige had left. I didn't know when they had left, so I knew I had forgotten something. Then, the next morning, I couldn't remember anything that had happened the night before. And I still can't remember what happened in between those two memories." He guessed that the gap that was left in his memory was the time when he had been unresponsive. But there were still things he was wondering about. "I'm not sure what I remember is accurate, though. I remember being held down on the bed, but I'm not sure if that really happened." He wasn't sure if he wanted to talk about this when Iceland was still in the room, but at the same time, he wanted to make sense of the inconsistency in his memory.

"It didn't, but I think that you thought you were being held down. It looked like you were struggling against someone. We thought you might have been having some kind of flashback."

"I remember struggling, but I can't remember who I was trying to get away from. I don't remember thinking that _Far_ was there. And I can remember that Danmark just touched my forehead, and then that he was touching my hair. But I'm sure I felt hands on my shoulders." That inconsistency of what he remembered made him wonder if he was going crazy. Maybe everything that he had been going through was going to break him after all. "It was the same back the house—when I was upstairs. I was sure there was someone else up there. I didn't actually feel anything that time, but I kept expecting to. So I just had to get away—I didn't think about whether it was safe to use the stairs. I was already feeling lightheaded, but I just needed to get away."

"We probably shouldn't have left you alone up there that morning when we knew you didn't feel safe. We all knew you didn't feel comfortable going upstairs. Did you go up there that night because you were trying to prove that you weren't afraid?"

This time, Norway did not answer. He had admitted to some inconsistencies in his memory and hadn't been accused of being crazy. But he was afraid of the response he might get if he admitted that he still didn't remember going upstairs. And he certainly wasn't going to admit that in front of Iceland.

The conversation was pretty much at an end after Norway had refused to answer that last question. Shortly after that, the food arrived, and would have put an end to the conversation anyway.

* * *

It wasn't until a few days later on September fourth that the conversation was actually resumed at all. The family had split up for a little while after the meeting, as Sweden and Finland had gone to England's house in order to see their son on his birthday. Those plans had been made before the incident at the meeting, and after some discussion they had decided to go ahead with them. They were both a little worried about being away from Norway, but he had seemed better by the end of the day. And no one was sure whether he had really intended to kill himself or not—he had denied it every time he had been asked.

Norway was still having trouble dealing with the memory that he had recovered during the meeting. However, he was starting to believe it had been an accident, and he was also starting to really believe that his family did care about him. At the same time, though, he was having trouble getting rid of the thoughts had come to him while he had been on the roof of the hotel—it would have been easier than continuing to live like this.

He had actually spent the afternoon of that whole first day after the meeting at the hospital, getting some tests done to make sure that he had suffered no ill effects from the incident on the roof. And, once it had been determined that the incident had not worsened his condition, he was once again lectured about not overdoing it. He was also given a prescription that would help regulate his heart rate and blood pressure and hopefully prevent another close call, although the doctor was still hoping the situation would resolve itself once Norway had gained back more of the weight he had lost over the past year. It was somewhat worrying that the situation was not resolving itself already, as the doctor had believed it would based on what had happened in January.

Several times over the course of the two days following the meeting, Norway had started rubbing the scar on his wrist. Every time he caught himself doing so, he forced himself to stop, but he knew that his whole family probably noticed by now. None of them had asked him about it again, at least.

* * *

In the days after the meeting, Norway continued to have moments where he thought that maybe it would have been better if he had taken those final steps. There were other times when he wondered what would have happened if he hadn't been woken up in time in January, or if he had gone through the door while he was trapped in that dream. It was usually when those thoughts were going through his mind that he found himself rubbing the scar on his wrist, but sometimes he did that even when he wasn't thinking about those topics. He wasn't sure if that meant that the thoughts had also found their way into his subconscious, but he knew that he probably needed to talk to someone. He was aware that the fact that he kept having these thoughts was not a good thing.

The big question was who he could talk to. Norway wasn't sure he wanted his family to know that he was thinking these things. He was still feeling guilty about having worried Iceland, and he didn't want to give his younger brother any more reason to worry about him. And he was a little afraid of what might happen if Denmark and Sweden found out—he was slowly starting to feel comfortable around them again, but there was still a part of him that worried that they might take any excuse to gain control of him again. And if they knew he had really thought about killing himself—was still thinking about it—they would have that excuse. That left only one person he could talk to, as he also didn't want to talk to anyone who didn't already know his secrets.

Even once he had admitted to himself that he needed to talk to someone, it still took most of the morning for him to find the courage to do so. He was just lucky that the person he needed to talk to was the one who had stayed at the house with him that day.

Once he had gathered the courage and walked the short distance from his temporary bedroom to one of the studies in the house, he still was not ready to talk right away. He just entered the study and sat down in a chair that had been placed there after he had started doing that regularly. This was hardly the first time that Norway had sought out the company of whoever was staying home with him that day, and then just stayed in the office with them without saying anything. At last he gathered enough courage to ask, "Can I talk to you?"

Finland looked up from whatever post-meeting paperwork he had been working on and turned around to face Norway. "Of course. I told you could always talk to me if you needed."

It took Norway a few more moments to find the courage to admit to the thoughts that he was ashamed to talk about. While he was gathering the courage, he once again started rubbing the scar on his wrist. "I," he started to say, and then stopped. "The day of the meeting . . . I did go up to the roof because I wanted to be alone. But while I was up there, I did think about . . ." He looked down at the floor, before continuing to speak. "I thought about jumping." He finally realized that he was rubbing the scar and forced himself to stop.

Complete silence followed Norway's admission, until Finland asked, "Are you still thinking about it?"

Norway wasn't sure what he had expected as a response to his admission, but it wasn't that simple question. "Yes," he admitted eventually. He still kept his eyes focused on the floor.

"We need to get you to a hospital or something then." Finland had already pushed the paperwork he had been working on earlier aside and got up from the desk. "I'll call the others, and they can meet us there."

"No!" Norway exclaimed. "I don't want them to know, please. I don't want to worry Island more than I already have."

Finland already had his cellphone out and had been about to dial a number, but he stopped when he heard Norway's exclamation. "Norja, if you're thinking about killing yourself, then you need professional help. I have no idea how to help you through that, and I don't want to take a chance with your life."

"I don't want everyone to know, though." Norway still kept his eyes focused on the floor. He was ashamed of having these thoughts, but he knew that he couldn't just keep it unsaid. He had needed to tell someone before he could actually follow through on the thoughts, but that didn't meant that he wanted everyone to find out. It was bad enough that so many people believed he had attempted suicide without their learning that he had really thought about it.

"I told you before that I wouldn't keep any secrets that put your life in danger. I have to at least tell the others so we can take whatever steps are necessary to keep you safe." Finland walked over to where Norway was sitting, but made no move to touch him. "And I think you should at least consider talking to a professional if you're having these thoughts. I would be willing to go with you if that would help make it easier for you."

For the first time since making the admission, Norway looked up at Finland. He could see the concern in his friend's face and felt bad for having put it there. But at the same time, he wasn't sure he could completely regret his thoughts. "I'm just not sure I can go on living like this," he said, after a few moments. "Until _far_ came back last summer, I had managed to bury everything that had happened. I remembered that it had happened, but I didn't really have any memories of specific events. As soon as I heard that he was coming to visit, all of the memories started to return. And then, there were new incidents and everyone saw the last one. And there are things that none of you know about yet, and I'm not sure I can ever admit those things. And ever since the dream, I have remembered everything—and after remembering what happened in January, I'm not even sure if I can trust anyone. And I don't know if I can trust my own memories either." He could feel tears running down his face, but did not bother to wipe them away. "I'm nothing more than a burden to all of you—I'm ruining everyone's life at this point. And I just want it all to be over. I want to stop being a burden to everyone I care about. I want to stop hurting. And I just can't see any other way out anymore." He had once again started rubbing the scar on his wrist.

Finland placed his hand over Norway's, stopping the motion. "How long have you been thinking about this?" he asked gently.

"I'm not sure," Norway answered. "Since before the meeting, but it really started there."

"Are you just thinking about it, or have you actually made any kind of plan?"

Norway looked down at the floor again. He wasn't sure what would happen if he answered this question, and whether or not he should give a truthful answer. He had started this conversation because he knew he needed help, but now he wasn't sure how much he should reveal. At last, he gave the most truthful answer he could. "I don't know if it's really a plan, but I have thought about how I could do it," he admitted. "There are so many old weapons in this house, any of them could work. And I have those sleeping pills from back in January in my house, and that's just next door, so it wouldn't be too difficult to get them. Or I could just do what everyone thought I did in January—I wouldn't even need an actual weapon for that." He was about to start rubbing the scar on his wrist again, but was stopped by the hand that still covered his.

"Would you actually go through with this plan?"

"I don't know . . . Before when I thought about it, I felt like something was holding me back. And I know that I don't want to upset Island." He still kept his gaze focused down on the floor. "I don't think I'd go through with it. I want this all to be over, but I'm not sure if I actually want to die. I just want to escape, I guess, and that's the only way I can see to get free of all this pain. And to leave you and the others free to go back to your own lives."

"We wouldn't just go back to our own lives if we lost you, Norja," Finland said. "You're too important to us. We might eventually find a way to move on, but we would miss you, and I don't think we would just be able to stop missing you. Promise me, that if you really think you're going to hurt yourself, you will talk to someone."

Norway looked up, but did not answer right away. He was trying to decide if he could keep that promise—initiating this conversation had been hard enough; he wasn't sure if he would be able to talk if he was more determined to do something. But at last he said, "I promise."

"And will you at least consider talking to a professional?"

"I don't think I can. Talking to you about these things is hard enough, and you know more than a stranger would. If I talked to a professional, I would have to tell them everything about _Far_, and I'm not sure I can do that. It hurts too much just to think about it."

Finland squeezed Norway's hand gently, but it was enough to the stop the motion he had once again made to start rubbing the scar. "You can always talk to me, whenever you need to, Norja."

Norway had already known that without having to be told again, but something about the reminder reassured him. It comforted him to know that there was one person that he could talk to about anything, and who would not judge him. And he was grateful for everything that Finland had done to help him ever since this whole situation had begun, although he could not find the words to express that gratitude at the moment.

* * *

**Author's notes:** I had hoped that get this chapter out earlier this week, but school is looking like it's going to be pretty time consuming. So, until this story is complete, updates will probably be posted on Friday mornings, as that is the only day I don't have classes. The next update will probably be up two weeks from now, if I can get it edited by then.

Some of the conversation in the last scene is actually based on some research that I did into suicide prevention. Every website that I looked at had a list of questions to ask to determine whether or not there was a serious risk. Based on the answers given in this scene, Norway is currently somewhere between moderate and high risk of actually going through with these thoughts. So, he's not at the point where he needs professional help, but his family is not going to be leaving him alone any time soon.

The next chapter will begin a story arc that will reveal more details of the things that Scandia did. So, for anyone that has been waiting to find out things like how the abuse began, that will be in the next few chapters.

I don't think I have any other information that I need to provide here, but if anyone has any questions, I will try to find a way to address them.

Thank you to the people who reviewed the last chapter. It's always nice to know that people are reading and enjoying this story.

As always, please review.


	29. Chapter 29

**Warnings:** This chapter does contain an actual depiction of abuse. See previous chapters for other warnings that may apply. There are still a few mentions of what was warned for in the last two chapters, but it is no longer a major plot point.

**Summary of Chapters 27 and 28:** _Anyone who read those chapters can skip this. This is only for people who did not read those chapters because of the subject matter._ When Norway left the meeting at the end of Chapter 26, he went up to the roof of the hotel. Although his initial reason for going up there was just to be alone where no one would think to look for him, at some point while he was up there he did start thinking about jumping. Denmark and Sweden both followed him up there, and might have managed to convince him that he wasn't just a possession for them to fight over. They also saved him when he almost fell, and had to work together to do so. No more details about that have been given. Several other nations (including the rest of the family) witnessed what happened from down on the ground.

After returning home from the meeting, Norway was still having trouble dealing with all the memories he had recovered, and he was still thinking about what he had thought on the roof. After realizing that he couldn't deal with those thoughts on his own, he talked to Finland and promised that he started seriously thinking about it he would get professional help.

**Chapter Twenty-nine**

The rest of the family had not taken the news that Norway was considering suicide well. They had all been understandable panicked at the idea that they might still lose Norway even once he was actually out of danger. None of them had had any ideas of what they could do to help him—the best thing they could think of was to make sure that all of the weapons in the house were locked up where Norway would not be able to get at them. And they began to keep a closer eye on him than they had been doing recently.

Norway noticed how closely they had started watching him, and he could see the worry in their eyes when they looked at him. He felt bad for having caused them that worry, but he could not give them the reassurance that he knew they wanted. He was trying his best to rebuild his defenses, to push all of the memories that he had recovered back behind the wall where they could no longer torment him. But all of his attempts were unsuccessful.

He had started having nightmares again, where various scenes from his childhood replayed themselves in his mind. Sometimes in the dreams, the rest of his family just stood by and watched Scandia torment him. Those dreams were always the worst, as he would have to work to convince himself that it had not happened that way.

Physically at least, Norway was finally starting to recover. He had gained back enough weight so that he no longer looked quite so frail, and between that and the medication he had been placed on, his spells of lightheadedness were becoming less frequent. He was finally strong enough to be able to go outside without help, although someone always accompanied him out just to be on the safe side. And he was only seeing the doctor once a week now, as opposed to every couple days, and he was done with physical therapy.

If only the memories would stop tormenting him, but all of his attempts at burying them remained unsuccessful. And he frequently wondered how much longer he could go on like this. And sometimes, he still found himself thinking of taking the one way out that had occurred to him so far, but he always managed to push those thoughts away. And if there ever came a time when he could no longer to so, then he would keep the promise he had made.

* * *

The other Nordics were all getting used to being woken up in the middle of the night by screaming, and they knew that Norway had started having nightmares again. However, these did not seem like the ones he had before—for one thing, they could actually wake him up if it looked like the dream was getting really bad. And, the biggest relief of all, the dreams did not seem to have any kind of physical effect on him, which meant they were not attacks like the earlier nightmares had been. The first few nights they had been really worried, but after that they had realized that it was probably just his mind's way of working through everything.

And as Norway's physical condition continued to improve, even more of their worry lessened. They were no longer constantly afraid of losing him the way they had been at various other times during the past several months. The only worry they had left was over his emotional state, and especially over the knowledge that he had thought about suicide. And they guessed from the way he kept rubbing at the scar on his wrist that he still thought about it sometimes. There wasn't much more they could do to help him with any of the emotional issues besides just be there for him, so that was what they tried their best to do.

* * *

By the middle of September, Norway had still not managed to bury any of the memories that he had recovered during that dream. If anything, he was spending more time thinking about them then he had right after he had first awoken from the dream. During those first few weeks, much of his concentration had been on recovering physically—even just getting to the point where he was able to sit in a chair had taken a couple of days, and getting to the point where he could walk short distances, even with help, had taken longer. And all of the physical demands of that part of his recovery had not left him with the energy to deal with the memories. They would sometimes come into his mind at odd moments, but they were always quickly banished. And in those weeks, the sense of peace that he had gotten from knowing how much his mother cared about him had still been fresh enough to make more of a difference.

He still thought a lot about that time with his mother. It was the one part of that dream that it did not completely hurt to remember. And sometimes, he let himself wonder if she really would keep her promise to find a way to see him again. There were sometimes when thinking about these things would give him a sense of peace, sometimes for much as a day, but then the other memories would return.

And one evening, in the middle of September, Norway reached the point where he realized he could no longer deal with everything on his own. He remembered a year ago when he had been completely alone. He had been about halfway through the several months he had spent hiding from his family and anyone else who might look for him. He had not spent that whole time in the cabin where he had eventually been found—moving a few times during those months had been his insurance against being found. Almost every night, his sleep had been disturbed by nightmares and he had never been able to get more than a couple of hours sleep each night. And then, he had almost completely stopped eating; there had been some days when he had been able to force himself to eat something, but those days had been rare. For the last couple weeks before he was found, he hadn't even cared whether or not there was any food in the cabin.

But, at the same time he had felt the need to stay hidden. He did not know where Scandia might be—if he might show up again, outside the dreams. That was a worry that still troubled Norway to this day. He was constantly afraid on some deep level that his father would still find a way to get to him. And it hadn't just been his father he had been worried about encountering. He really had been hiding from the rest of his family then; he had been afraid of what they might do with the knowledge they had received about him, or that they might agree with his father that he was a freak. After all, Iceland had already called him a freak for being able to see creatures that no one else in the family could see—the same creatures that he owed not only his own life to, but also Iceland's life.

Even once he had been back with his family, Norway had still felt like he needed to hide from them. He worried there would be a point where something they would learn would negatively affect their opinions of him, or that they would try to take advantage of his secret. But now, several months had passed, and they were still there for him. And he slowly began to realize that maybe, instead of burying the memories, he needed to bring them out into the open. Maybe he needed to talk to his family. But whenever he was with all of them he could never find the courage to speak about the memories that tormented him.

* * *

In the middle of the night the quiet was shattered by a scream from downstairs. This had happened many nights, and the rest of the family was used to waking up in the middle of the night, and running down to Norway's room to awaken him from a nightmare. This night, like too many nights recently, they found him trapped in the grips of another nightmare.

The bedcovers were tangled around him, and he seemed to be struggling to free himself from something. His face was stained with tears, but other than that first scream he did not make any sound. Suddenly, with another loud cry, his eyes opened, and he fell back against the pillows, no longer struggling. A few moments passed, before the nightmare completely faded, and his breathing had returned to normal. Then he looked around to see his family all gathered around him.

"Are you alright, Norja?" Finland asked. He was usually the one who first talked to Norway after one of the dreams, as he was the one that Norway seemed most likely to talk to.

Norway still looked frightened, like he often did when he woke up from a nightmare. The mask that he usually kept over his emotions had eroded so much since Scandia's visit that anyone could see what he was feeling now. He looked around the room once, as if making sure that no one other than the family was there before answering. "Yes." There was something about that answer that did not seem completely truthful.

None of the others were sure what to do. They were afraid that if these nightmares continued at this rate, then Norway might stop sleeping again. And they worried that if that happened he might start doing other things that could have a negative impact on his physical recovery.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

They could all see that Norway hesitated before answering. "I don't know if I can," he said at last. "I'm afraid of what you will think if you know everything."

"It might help if you did talk about. You don't need to deal with this yourself this time. We are all want to help you in any way we can, and if you need to talk, we can listen. Or we can talk alone if you don't feel you can tell everyone." Finland knew that there was a chance that Norway might be more willing to talk to him if the others weren't present, which is why he was surprised at Norway's answer.

"I don't mind if they know," he said, looking around at the others in the room. "If they know the whole truth, then I can stop worrying that they'll hate me when they know the whole story. But I'm afraid if I wait, I'll lose the courage to say any of this."

* * *

About a half hour later, they were all gathered in the living room. It was still the middle of the night, but none of them objected to staying up for a while, if they could finally find a way to help Norway deal with all of these memories.

Norway was in what had become his usual spot on the edge of the couch. The frequent nightmares were causing him to lose enough sleep that dark circles were beginning to form around his eyes. Those dark circles stood out against the pallor of his skin and that, coupled with the fact that he was still visibly underweight gave him an appearance of fragility that was painful for the rest of the family to see.

The others all sat as close to the couch as they felt they could. They wanted to be close enough that Norway would know that they were there for him, but at the same time they wanted to avoid making him uncomfortable.

Norway was still gathering the last little bit of courage that he needed in order to speak. And when he did speak, he kept his eyes focused on the floor, not wanting to see the looks that his family might give him as the story unfolded.

"I guess I should start at the beginning," he said after a couple minutes had passed in silence. "Well, maybe not the true beginning, since I think it really started before Mother's death, but the beginning of what I remember. I know that _Far_ left with us with Germania for a few years after Mother died, but I don't remember any of that time. I think I've thought of some things that could be flashes of memory from that time, but most of what I know about it is from hearing you talk about it." He briefly looked up at Denmark and Sweden as he said that part, but his gaze returned to the floor before he continued speaking. "The only memory I have from back then is of the day that _Far_ first came back into our lives. I know you probably remember this too, but . . ." He trailed off, leaving the rest of the sentence unspoken. Of course, his older brothers probably also remembered what had happened that afternoon, since they had been there. But Norway was almost certain that they had not heard what Scandia had said to him.

_It had all started simply enough. Just one simple sentence spoken by one of the adults that was present in the camp at that time. "Their father is here, and he wants to see them." With those words, Norway and his brothers had been lead to where their uncle was standing and talking with a man that Norway did not remember every seeing before._

_ Until those words had been spoken earlier, he had not even realized that he and brothers had parents. All of the other children did, but he did not remember ever having had any. He and his brothers only had their uncle._

_ The strange man looked somewhat intimidating, and something about the look in his eyes when his gaze fell upon Norway made the boy afraid. Not liking the way this man looked at him, Norway pressed closer against his brother's side—he knew that no one would hurt him when Anko was there._

_ Norway was very attached to his brother. For as long as he could remember—which wasn't very long, really—Anko had always been there for him. The other older children didn't really want him around as much—he suspected that sometimes even Svi would prefer that he left them alone. But Anko liked having him around. And Anko was the one that he always went to when he was afraid or hurt. So Norway knew that his older brother would protect him now._

_ Half hidden behind his brother, Norway watched his uncle and the other man talking. The man kept looking at the three of them and Norway felt more uncomfortable every time the man's eyes fell on him. He noticed a difference between the way the man looked at him and the way the man looked his brothers, but he could not say what that difference was. But it made him feel even more afraid of the man. But he knew he was safe as long as he was with his brother._

_ Norway had to resist the urge to shudder when all of the man's attention turned on him. _

_ "I hadn't expected him to look so much like her," the man said. "Come here, boy, let me get a closer look at you."_

_ Norway did not move, if anything he tried to press even closer to his brother's side. He did not want to get any closer to this man. He didn't like the way the man looked at him._

_ The man came a couple of steps closer. "You wouldn't remember me, but I'm your father," he said. Although the words were almost gentle, the man did not seem any less frightening. "I haven't seen you since you were a baby, and I just want to get a closer look at you."_

_ Reluctantly, Norway moved from his brother's side. The man seemed nice enough now, and Norway didn't want his older brothers to think he was a baby because he was afraid of this man who claimed to be their father. And he was afraid that they would think he was a coward. And, they were still right there, so it wasn't like he wasn't safe._

_ "You look so much like your mother," his father said. He knelt down and put his large hand on the boy's small shoulder. "I've been away since shortly after you were born, but now I would like to take you back to live with me. Would you like that?"_

_ Norway looked back towards his brothers. "Anko and Svi?"_

_ "They will stay here with their uncle. He has done a fine job of raising them so far, and I am sure they would prefer to stay here. So, it would be just the two of us."_

_ "No. I want to stay with Anko."_

_ His father's hand tightened on his shoulder, the grip becoming almost painful. He leaned over to whisper into the boy's ear, being careful to keep his voice quiet enough that no one else could hear. "Your uncle is sending you away anyway. Your brothers are the only ones he wants responsibility for. You are just an extra burden to him. You should be glad I'm willing to take you back—otherwise, who knows where you'd end up. It's time you learned your place in this world. You're nothing more than a little freak of nature, and it's your fault that your mother died. And if you don't do as I tell you to, you will regret it." Loud enough for everyone else to hear, the man said, "You will like living with me, son. And it would mean a lot of have you with me—just looking at you, it's almost like seeing your mother again. I'm sure she would want you to live with me."_

_ Norway didn't understand most of what the man had said to him, but he understood enough to know what no one wanted him. His uncle was going to send him away, and he had no one else unless he went with his father. The idea of being all alone was terrifying to him, but so was the idea of going with this man who frightened him so much. But if he was going to be sent away anyway, what choice did he have? His uncle would not want to keep him. So he did not protest when his father picked him up._

_ It was only as he was being carried away from the only family he had ever known that Norway began to have second thoughts. Because of the way he was being carried, he could look back over his father's shoulder, and he could see his brothers standing there, watching him leave. Suddenly, he did not want to be separated from them—he especially didn't want to leave Anko._

_ His eyes filled with tears, until he could barely see his brothers through them, and they were getting farther away with every step the man took. "Anko!" he called out to his brother. He kept crying and calling out to his brother until he could no longer see him. Even then, he could not stop crying, although he was no longer calling out._

_ Only when the others had been left far behind did the man stop, and put him down. As soon as he was released, Norway tried to run back in the direction they had come from, but the man immediately grabbed his arm. Pulling him back and taking hold of both arms, the man shook him. "Stop this immediately! You're acting like a pathetic weakling. Your brother obviously doesn't want you. Why else would he have ignored all that fuss you were making? He's probably ashamed of you, just like I am. Now stop making such a fuss right now!"_

_ Norway still could not stop crying. He tried, but he just couldn't, and he was starting to feel like he couldn't breathe. The struggle to catch his breath just terrified him more, and made him more upset. Then, the man released his arms and slapped him, igniting a new flood of tears._

_ "You're becoming hysterical," the man said. "Will you stop proving what a pathetic little weakling you are?"_

_ The flood of tears finally tapered off to the occasional sob and then stopped altogether. He had no tears left at that time._

_ The man started walking again, keeping a tight grip on Norway's arm and pulling him along. All of the crying he had done, had left Norway exhausted, but his father still forced him to walk and did not even set an easy pace for him to keep up with._

Silence fell in the room after Norway had finished recounting the story of how his father had first taken him away. He was not able to look at any of the others, too afraid to see how they might have reacted to his story. He kept his eyes focused firmly on the floor, although he could not see it, as his vision was becoming blurred by tears—just like his last sight of his brothers had been. He did not look up until he felt a strong pair of arms wrap around him, and looked up to see Denmark standing behind him.

"Why didn't you answer?" Norway asked. The question had troubled him ever since he had remembered the incident. He didn't think that Scandia had told the truth, but still the memory of screaming for his brother and not receiving any answer hurt.

"I wanted to go after you that day, Nor," Denmark said. He tightened his embrace as much as the back of the couch that still remained between them allowed. "Germania wouldn't let me. He said that you just needed to get used to being with our father—that you were only crying like that because you were in an unfamiliar situation, and that going after you would just make things worse. And at the time, we all thought that our father wanted you with him. I didn't want you to be taken away like that, and I wouldn't have ignored you if I could have done anything."

Those words were a relief, but the memory of the pain he had felt that day was still strong, and he could not stop the tears that still fell from his eyes. He tried to suppress them, the memory of his father's words still fresh in his mind. He was determined not prove his father right by crying over the memory of that day. If he broke down over the beginning of the story, he knew he would be able to tell the later parts where things got worse.

Until they had heard that story, the rest of the family hadn't believed they could be any angrier Scandia than they already were. However, hearing that story proved them wrong. And seeing how upset Norway was by the memory just made it worse. And they knew that the incidents would get worse than what had just been recounted to them.

For the time being, they all just concentrated on trying to comfort Norway—telling him that he hadn't done anything wrong, that he didn't need to be ashamed of being upset. Although none of them said so, they were all kind of wondering if this had anything to do with why Norway always seemed so determined to hide whatever he was feeling; they doubted that incident was the last time that Scandia had punished him for something like that. And seriously what kind of person punished a little kid for crying while being taken away from everything that was a constant in his life.

It was obvious that no more would be recounted that night, though. By the time Norway had calmed down again, he was too worn out to face any more of his past that night. And so, they had helped him back to his room, and hoped that he would be able to get some more rest for what remained of the night.

* * *

**Author's notes:**

The italicized portion of this chapter is a flashback to the event that Norway was recounting to the rest of his family. The next few chapters will contain scenes where he will be telling his family about an incident that happened, and the incident itself will be shown like that.

I don't think there's anything that I need to especially explain for this chapter, but if anyone has any questions, I will try to answer them.

I can't give a definite date for when the next chapter will be posted. School is eating up all my free time lately—if I'm not at school or driving to school or home from school (an hour each way), then I'm doing homework. I'm trying to find time to write in between classes, and I have through chapter 32 completed and just in need of editing, but it's hard to find time for even that.

Please review this chapter. Reviews help remind me that I need to try to make time to get the chapters edited and posted. Sometimes knowing that people are waiting for the next chapter is the only thing that makes me try harder to find writing or editing time.


	30. Chapter 30

**Warning: **Child abuse. See previous chapters for other warnings.

Chapter Thirty

It wasn't until two nights later that Norway was able to face telling them more of the incidents from his past. The day following the late night conversation, he had clearly been too upset from the previous night. For most of that day, he had stayed in his room, coming out only for meals and for long enough after each meal to reassure his family. But he had spoken even less than usual during that time.

The next day after dinner, he was finally ready to face the next part of the story.

Once again, the whole family was gathered in the living room, just like they were most evenings. During the course of that day, they had seen signs that Norway had been mentally preparing himself for something, and had guessed that he was going to continue the story. And that guess was proved correct.

A few moments had passed while Norway was still trying to gather the courage to speak, and when he did, he could not bring himself to look directly at any of them. "I can't remember how far we walked that day," he said. "I do remember that by the time we stopped, I had started crying again, and _far_ kept making comments about how weak I was. But, once we got to where we stopped for the night, he pretty much just ignored me for most of the evening. He did give me dinner, but I was still too upset to eat." As he spoke, his memory went back to that first night, and how homesick he had been for the only family he had known up that point. "I don't think he spoke to me that whole evening, at least, I can't remember that he did."

_ The silence was almost as difficult for the boy as the words his father had said to him earlier. He wasn't used to silence. There were usually so many people around, and anyway, his brother talked a lot. He was used to that constant talk, and now this silence was oppressive to him. And the man—his father—still had that strange look in his eyes whenever he looked at the child._

_ Norway was still crying; he had barely stopped except for that brief time after the man had yelled at him. He tried to make as little noise as possible, though, to avoid drawing his father's attention. It was starting to get late, and he had never been in an unfamiliar place at night before._

_ After some time, the man got up from where he had been sitting. Coming to stand over the boy, he grabbed his arm and pulled the child to his feet. He did not even bother trying to be gentle. "I might as well show you to where you're supposed to sleep," he said. "You can't spend the night sitting here by the fire." He led the boy over to where a cloak had been spread out on the ground, as far away from the warmth of the fire as possible. "Now, this is where you are to stay, and I don't want to hear a sound out of you until morning. Is that clear?" There was something threatening in his tone._

_ Norway did not answer. He knew he had been asked a question, but he had also been told not to make a sound._

_ Scandia tightened his grip on the child's arm. "I asked you a question, and when I ask a question, then I expect to be answered. Do you understand?"_

_ "Yes," Norway answered, barely above a whisper._

_ Scandia released him, and turned around to walk back to the fireside, leaving Norway alone._

_ Norway lay down on the bed that his father had provided him with. Away from the fire the night air was chill. But if he covered himself with the cloak, then there would be nothing to cushion the hard ground below. At last, he ended up wrapping the large cloak around himself._

_ From where he lay, his could see his father sitting by the fire, but the man was not watching him at the moment. Now, he was starting to miss his brothers even more than he had before. He had never been alone like this at night—at first he had been with the woman who had taken care of him, and then once he had been sent in with the other children, he always slept near his brothers. Now there was no one nearby except this man who seemed to hate him._

_ Norway could no longer contain the tears that he had been trying to hold back, but he tried to make as little noise as possible. His attempt at quiet was unsuccessful, as the next thing he knew that man was standing over him, and was clearly angry._

_ "I knew you were a pathetic weakling, but I thought you could at least follow a simple order. Now stop this crying, and go to sleep."_

_ Norway tried to stop crying, but the anger in this man's voice only made him more afraid and that just made him cry harder. And that just made the main angrier."_

"I really did try to stop crying, but I couldn't. And when I didn't stop, _far_ . . . He reached down and grabbed my arm, pulling me to my feet. It hurt . . . he'd done that same thing earlier, plus the way he pulled me along while we were walking . . . Once I was on my feet, he shook me like he'd done before. He kept yelling about how weak I was . . . how no one wanted me, and how you were probably glad I was gone . . . I told him I wanted to go home . . . and he said that my home was with him now." Norway kept his gaze focused on the floor as he spoke, not wanting to see the effect that he knew his story was probably having on his family. "When I still didn't stop crying . . . he—he hit me. Not just once like earlier that day, but several times. And then, he just walked away back to the fire, like it had never happened. I remember lying on the hard ground after he walked away . . . and it hurt so much. There was nothing to cushion it anyway . . . and after what he did. I was still crying, from pain as much as homesickness, but thankfully father did not come back . . . I cried myself to sleep that night."

As he had recounted the story of the first beating he had received from his father, Norway's eyes had once again filled with tears, tears that spilled over when he told how he had cried himself to sleep.

Not for the first time since recovering these memories at the end of the dream, Norway wished that all of this had just stayed buried. He hadn't exactly been happy when he couldn't remember most of his childhood, as he had been able to remember enough for it to hurt, but at least there hadn't been so many memories. And he had never really talked about any of this before, and he was afraid of the looks he would see on the faces of his family if he looked at them. He was afraid that he would look and see that they felt ashamed of him for having been so weak, or, possibly worse, that they pitied him.

He felt a gentle touch on his hand, and after a few moments he looked over at Finland, who was sitting next to him on the couch. He could not bring himself to look at the others yet.

"You don't have anything to be ashamed of, Norja. You were a child and you had been taken away from everything that was familiar to you. Your father was the one who was in the wrong—he shouldn't have punished you for being upset. If he had been any kind of decent parent, he would have known that."

Of course, no one had thought that Scandia was any kind of decent parent to begin with, not with everything they knew about him. It had been bad enough when the only thing really known about him was that he had abandoned his children with their uncle. Now that some of the things he had done to Norway were known, it was impossible for anyone in the family to see anything positive about Scandia. And they all knew the worst part of the story was coming.

Norway still was not ready to look at any of the other members of his family. He knew that they were all nearby, but this was only the second time he had talked about his past in front of them. Everything that they had learned previously, they had learned from having witnessed it or from something that Scandia had said.

At that moment, Norway just wanted to go to his room and lock himself in where he would not have to face them, where he would not have to see them start to be ashamed of him. But, drawing on every bit of inner strength he possessed, he forced himself to continue, in the hope that getting everything out in the open really would make it easier to face.

"For the first several days, it was just like that first night. Nothing that I did ever measured up to what _far_ wanted from me. I couldn't understand some of what he said to me back then, but I understood enough to know that he hated me . . . And I knew he hated it whenever I cried, so I would try to hide it from him, but he always know . . . Sometimes he just yelled at me, but other times . . . he would hit me. Even if he didn't actually hit me, he would grab my arm or shoulder, tight enough to leave a bruise." Norway did not say so, but he remembered that in those days he had always had bruises somewhere. He had never had time to fully heal in between the beatings. The bruises might start to fade, but them something would set Scandia off, and he would just end up receiving a new set of bruises over the healing ones. His mind started to drift back to some of the specific times, but he knew that if he recounted the story of every time his father had hit him, he would never finish everything he needed to tell.

"It took him a few days to start talking about how my mother's death was my fault," Norway continued. "He had mentioned it a few times . . . but, eventually he started bringing it up every time he got angry . . . I can't remember if he actually said anything back then about how I should have died with her—the first time I clearly remember him saying that was later—but I could tell that he thought that. He said that everyone hated me for causing her death . . . and that no one had wanted me. . . And after hearing that so much, I started to believe it. After all, no one had stopped from taking me . . . and he had said that I was going to be sent away. And, then, the things that he did changed again." Once again, he paused, trying to decide how much of the next part he could actually bring himself to talk about.

_ It had finally reached the point where the way his father treated him was beginning to feel normal. The time before that was beginning to seem like a distant dream, although he still missed his brothers a lot. And he still cried himself to sleep most nights, even though doing so frequently led to another beating from his father._

_ He had been with his father several weeks, maybe even a couple of months, when things took a new turn. It was nighttime, which was when the worst incidents generally tended to happen. He had been sent to bed, which was still the same as it had been the first night he had spent with his father. Actually, it was worse now as the nights were growing colder. Norway had already learned that he did not feel cold the same way humans did, but it was still hard for him to keep warm enough at night with only that cloak to wrap up in. And now that the bruises from the times his father hit him never had time to heal, it had gotten even more difficult to get comfortable on the hard ground._

_ That particular night, he was still sore from what had happened the night before when he had done something to anger his father. He felt almost like there wasn't a spot anywhere on his body that wasn't bruised. He kept shifted trying to find a position to sleep in that didn't hurt so much, and was trying to hold back tears. He knew that crying would probably only anger his father and likely bring on another beating. But he just hurt so much and he was missing his brothers and the way things had been before his father had shown up—and at last he could no longer hold back the tears._

_ It did not take long for his crying to attract his father's attention. He heard the footsteps as his father walked towards him and he braced himself for another beating. He was not prepared for what actually happened. Just like every other time, his father grabbed his arm and pulled him to his feet, but then nothing happened for a few moments. At last, Scandia led the boy over to the fire. There was a different look in his eyes than usual, and it made Norway uncomfortable._

_ He was pulled down to sit at the fireside next to his father, and a few moments later, Scandia started running his hand through the boy's hair. He was saying something as he did so, but it took a few moments for Norway to be able to focus on the words through the fear he felt at this change in his father's behavior._

_ "Well, you've certainly proved that you're nothing more than a little weakling, so there's not much point in trying to make anything out of you. So I'll have to find other ways in which you can be useful." As he spoke those words, his fingers found the particular spot in the boy's hair that he had been searching for—the stray curl._

_ Norway wasn't sure what he felt at that moment. A strange sensation that he had never felt before came over him when that spot in his hair was touched, and he wasn't sure that he liked it. It made him feel uncomfortable, and he was even more confused about what his father was doing to him. He tried to pull away, but his father kept a tight grip on his with one hand, as he kept stroking the haircurl with the other._

"I didn't know what he was doing . . ." Norway had backed up against the arm of the couch, and curled into himself as much as he could as he recounted that particular memory. "I didn't understand the way it made me feel, or why . . . And then, when he was done, he said that was the only use I could possibly have. That the only thing I was good for was being something for him to use . . . And he made more comments about Mother's death being my fault . . . And he said that the fact that I let him do that proved that I really was nothing but a weakling . . . But I didn't even know what he was doing . . ." He was unable to kept talking, as he was overcome by the tears he had been trying to contain the whole time he had been talking.

* * *

It took a few moments for the rest of the family to react after they had heard that part of Norway's story. Hearing about the physical and emotional abuse had been difficult enough for all of them, and they had all known that eventually the abuse would take this turn. But they had all been hoping that Norway would at least be a little older before that happened.

They all wanted to be able to do something to comfort Norway, to take away some of the pain that they knew the memory had brought him, but there was nothing they could do. Norway did not seem to be aware of their presence, and they knew that touching him was a bad idea.

And also, they were all thinking that now they knew why Norway had reacted so strongly to recovering the memory of what had happened in January—because that was the same way that the abuse had started to take that particular turn.

* * *

Norway was still aware of his family's presence, although only barely, and he had noticed that they had not responded to what he had just revealed. And, with the memories still fresh in his mind he believed that there was only one possible interpretation for that. He had finally managed to reveal something that would drive them away, and make them hate him or think less of him.

He slowly forced himself to get to his feet, and then took a couple of steps towards his room before stopping to look back towards his family. His vision was blurred by tears, so he could make out the expressions on their faces as they looked at him. He only saw that none of them were trying to stop him from leaving the room, and he took that as a sign that they didn't care.

He knew that he was on the edge of breaking down, and he did not want to do so in front of his family. Telling that one memory had brought several years of memories to the front of his mind where they threatened to overwhelm him.

Feeling that he was about to lose control at any moment, he turned and practically ran out of the living room to the room that had been made into a bedroom for him. He wanted to lock the door behind him, but the lock had been disabled after he had admitted to having thought about killing himself.

He walked across the room to the bed, and curled up on it much the way he had been on the couch. And then, he allowed himself to lose control and surrender the memories and the tears that threatened.

* * *

When Norway became aware of his surroundings again, he was still on the bed, but someone had tucked him under the covers. A lamp on the dresser had been left on, and the door to the room was open, but he was the only one in the room.

The memories had receded enough for the time being that he did not feel like he was going to be overcome by them, but he did feel worn out from talking about what little of those memories he had managed to talk about and from all the crying he had done. Despite some curiosity about how much time had passed and whether or not his family was still in the living room, he did not feel like getting out of bed. The softness of the bed and the warmth of the covers were a pleasant contrast to his memories of that single cloak on the hard ground. Of course, that "bed" had been in improvement over the nights that had come later—the nights when he had been forced to share his father's bed.

With that one thought the memories threatened to return. Desperately he tried to find something that could force them back before he got swept under again.

His eyes fell on the open door, and he wondered why it had been left open, and for that matter why the lamp had been left on. Did his family really think he was so weak that he could not handle waking up in the dark? Had they left the door open to further take away what privacy he had left—he already wasn't allowed to lock the door. Were they going to forbid him to close it now, too? Or maybe, he had been taken in by lies earlier, and someone in the house was planning to come into the room to take advantage of him. Maybe the door had been left open to make it easier to get to him.

Norway could not stop the soft cry that escaped him at that thought. For a moment he lay there, terrified that someone may have heard, but no one came into the room. Slowly, he forced himself to relax, to remember that his family was trying to help him. Eventually he relaxed enough that he was able to fall asleep, although his sleep remained troubled by memories that flitted in and out of his subconscious.

When morning came, he was just relieved that he had managed to avoid waking anyone up by screaming in the middle of the night.

That morning, he was unable to force himself to eat much more than a few bites of his breakfast. He felt the same way he had felt when he had been in the hospital in January—like he would be sick if he forced himself to eat anything. Those few bites were the most of he was able to force down, despite the concern that his family had not even bothered hiding. He felt completely drained from the night before, and still felt like he could break down again at any moment. It was a relief when breakfast was over and enough time had passed that he could escape to his room again.

* * *

"Are you sure he's not getting sick again? He was finally starting to get better."

The rest of the family was in the living room, trying to figure out just to what extent this new change in Norway's condition was something they needed to worry about. They were all very worried by how little breakfast he had eaten that morning that morning, and they could see how close to breaking he was. There had been too many close calls over the past several months, and they were all scared of losing him.

"I don't know. This could just be because of how upset he got last night, but if he's still not eating tomorrow it might be a good idea to take him to the doctor."

That was the main issue that they were all worried about, that Norway might stop eating again. He had almost died from that already, and none of them could stand the thought of going through that worry again.

"Will he be alright, though?"

"He should still be alright eventually. It might actually be a good sign that he's not repressing anything this time."

But none of them were really convinced.

* * *

Norway spent most of the day in his room, emerging only for meals where he would manage to choke down a couple of bites just to try to ease his family's concern. He wasn't feeling any better than he had that morning, and he had spent most of the day curled up on top of his bed, alternately crying and completely losing himself in the memories.

After dinner that night, he still joined his family in the living room, as he was given very little choice in the matter. He still felt sick, the same he had all day, and he felt too emotionally drained to face telling them the next part of what had happened with his father. It was bad enough that those memories kept playing over and over again in his mind. He just could not bear to speak of them out loud when he could barely deal with them in his mind. The thought he had heard a few days ago, that it might be easier to deal with things if he talked about them, was more or less forgotten.

As soon as they would let him, he once again retreated to his room, where he once again surrendered to the memories that threatened to drown him. During the night, he once again woke up to find the door open and a light left on, but this time the light was outside his room.

* * *

**Author's notes:**

If I didn't explain this last chapter the italicized scenes are flashbacks that basically show the incident that is being recounted. There is probably a little more detail in the flashback scenes than in what the rest of the family is actually being told.

There are two more chapters after this one, and an epilogue. A new chapter will be posted every other Friday, and then the epilogue should be posted on October 30th. I will explain more about that when I post chapter thirty-two. I will also explain more about the plans I have for other stories that will be linked to this one.

I would like to thank my reviewer from the last chapter.

As always, please review. It means a lot to me to know that people are following this story.


	31. Chapter 31

**Note: **See previous chapters for warnings. I don't think there are any new ones for this chapter.

Chapter Thirty-one

The next morning, Norway felt even worse than the day before. He had to practically force himself to get out of bed, and he could not actually force himself to eat any breakfast. Just the thought of trying to eat made him feel even sicker than he already did. He had seen the concerned looks that his family kept giving him, and knew that he must look as bad as he felt. So, he wasn't too surprised when his family insisted on taking him to the doctor, just to make sure there was nothing seriously wrong with him.

He was using most of the energy he had just to keep all of his emotions under control, which wasn't much after two nights of troubled sleep and the emotional upheaval of the past few days. Those memories were still there, still threatening to drown him, and he was still close to breaking down. Everything was just too close to the surface right now.

Since his condition was not actually an emergency, he had longer than he had the previous times before getting to see the doctor. And that wait just made him more exhausted, as it increased the amount of time he had to spend in public fighting a losing battle for control.

The examination itself was like every one that he had been through lately, and then the doctor started asking him questions.

"How are you feeling, Haldor?"

Norway trusted that the doctor actually cared about him, but he was still getting tired of hearing that question. "I'm alright," he lied.

"Your family is concerned because you barely ate anything yesterday, and you didn't eat breakfast this morning. It wasn't that long ago that you were showing symptoms of an eating disorder, and you're still recovering. You can't afford to skip meals. Are you sure you're feeling all right?"

"I just didn't feel like eating yesterday," Norway admitted. "I wasn't feeling good."

"Are you feeling sick to your stomach?" the doctor asked. "Is that why you don't want to eat?"

"A little." Once again the admission was hard for him to make.

"How would you describe the way you've been feeling?"

Norway did not answer right away, as he was trying to decide how truthful to make his answer. He knew if he told the truth, then the doctor might be able to do something that would help him, and he knew that he couldn't afford to stop eating again. But, he didn't want to admit to being so weak that he was getting sick just from not being able to deal with the emotions his past brought up. Eventually, he decided to risk telling the truth. "I'm afraid that I'll get sick if I eat," he admitted. "I feel like I could anyway, but if there's nothing in my stomach, then I don't need to worry about it."

"Have you actually been sick?"

"Not yet. But I keep feeling nauseous."

The doctor made some notes on the chart that he was holding, and did not answer immediately. "Given what you've been going through, it might just be from stress. You're showing some signs of dehydration, so I would like to treat that before sending you home. While that's being taken care of, I'll contact the government and make sure there's no nation incident that could be making you sick. And when you get home, I want you to at least try to eat something light. You really can't afford to skip meals. And I'll give your family instructions to bring you back in if you're not feeling better in a couple of days."

* * *

It was another hour before Norway was allowed to go home. He had been given an IV treatment for the dehydration and he did feel a little better after that. And, there was no national incident going on that was making him sick, as he had known there wouldn't be. So, after the treatment was done, he was sent home with instructions to rest and to try to eat.

Once he was back at the house, he was settled in bed in his room and allowed to rest until dinnertime. Knowing that he wasn't feeling well, his family had not asked him to come to the table, and had instead brought him something on a tray after they had eaten their own meal. Although he still felt sick, he managed to force himself to eat a little more than he had the previous day. Half of the meal still remained though when the nausea overwhelmed him, and he was forced to push the tray away.

After the tray had been taken back to the kitchen, Norway lay back against the pillows, and trying to fight against the sick feeling that still pulled at him. He tried to force himself to relax and to will the feeling away, but only a short time passed before he realized he was going to be unsuccessful. He got out of bed and just managed to make it to the bathroom before getting sick. It did not take long for him to lose what little dinner he had eaten, but that was followed by dry heaves that lasted for some time. When the sick feeling finally left him, he was almost completely exhausted, and it took most of his remaining strength just to stumble back to the bedroom and collapse on the bed. He was just relieved that he had made it back to the bedroom unaided.

There was no conversation that night, although the other members of the family were in and out of the room until he finally drifted off to sleep. It was obvious that he was not in any condition to face his events of his past that night.

Once again his sleep was troubled, and he had also been sick again a couple of times during the night despite the fact that there was nothing left in his stomach to lose. He knew that his family had checked on him during the night, and by the last time had needed to get up, he had needed help getting back to bed as the sickness was draining most of the strength. He had been given water to drink after each of the spells, but by the end of the night he couldn't even keep that down, so he was beginning to get dehydrated again.

* * *

Norway slept later than usual the next morning, and when he finally woke up about midmorning he didn't feel much better than he had the night before. Even lying down in bed, he still felt dizzy and nauseous. He had actually had to remind himself that the room wasn't actually moving. He tried to sit up, but almost immediately collapsed back against the pillows as dizziness overwhelmed him.

"Are you feeling any better this morning, Norja?" Finland asked, as he entered the room to check on Norway.

"No." Norway actually felt too bad at the moment to even bother trying to lie about how he was feeling.

Finland placed his hand on Norway's forehead. "Well, you don't seem to have a fever at least. If you're still sick tomorrow, though, we are taking you back to the doctor."

Norway tried again to sit up, but was once again, unsuccessful. It felt like the room was spinning and sitting up just made the sensation worse. For a few moments, he lay there, trying desperately to convince himself that he wasn't going to be sick again. He managed to push back the worst of the feeling, but only because there was currently nothing in his stomach to bring up. And he knew that it would be a bad idea to try moving anytime soon. He didn't protest the comment about being taken back to the doctor, even though he suspected there wasn't much the doctor could do for him—this was just from stress.

* * *

Over the course of the day, sickness showed no signs of abating. Norway had attempted to eat something a couple of times that day, but hadn't been able to keep anything down. He couldn't even keep water down. He had needed to get out of bed almost every couple of hours to be sick, even when there was nothing in his stomach to bring up. By mid-afternoon he was too weak to get up anymore, and an empty trashcan had been placed by his bed in case he was sick before anyone could get to his room in order to help him to the bathroom.

In between those times, he slept restlessly, what little sleep he got troubled by nightmares, none of which he could clearly remember when he woke up. And he was still having to fight to keep his emotions contained, to not start crying again. It was as if everything that he had been trying to suppress for over a year was finally coming to the surface and could no longer be contained.

* * *

Norway's condition had not improved at all by the next day, if anything it had gotten a little worse as he had developed a low-grade fever. Not wanting to take any chances with his health, his family took him back to the doctor. This time, the doctor did not dismiss his condition as being caused entirely by stress, but said that there was a chance that he might be coming down with some kind of infection. The doctor still insisted that it was nothing to worry about, though. Given everything that Norway had been through in the last several months, it was actually surprising this hadn't happened before—a human probably would have had this reaction several months ago. It was just a human ailment, not any kind of national incident, and therefore nothing that could cause any serious danger.

That had been enough to reassure them for the time being, although they were still worried by the fact that Norway wasn't actually eating anything, and he couldn't afford to miss meals. And, even knowing that it might not be dangerous, they were still worried by the toll the illness was taking on him. And they all wondered if this was happening because they had encouraged him to talk—if the breakdown that had occurred after he had finished recounting that one incident to them was what had made him sick.

During the course of that afternoon and evening, they had done what they could to take care of Norway. They had given up on forcing him to eat, but they were still trying to get him to at least drink something to prevent dehydration. However, he continued to be unable to keep anything down, even water. And by late evening, his fever was beginning to worsen.

He had been sleeping restlessly off and on throughout the last two days, but as the fever rose the restlessness increased. He started moving around restlessly and making small sounds that they couldn't understand. Although they tried to calm him, he seemed unaware of their presence. Eventually, they began to discern words among the sounds he was making, but nothing he said made any sense, and they began to worry that the high fever was making him delirious. From some of what they heard him say, though, they suspected that he was reliving the memories that he had been trying to deal with.

They all stayed in the room with him, and took turns trying to bring the temperature down by running a cool, damp cloth over his face, and talked softly to him to reassure him when whatever he was seeing made him afraid.

However, despite everything they were doing for him, his condition continued to worsen. Sometimes he would quite down for a few minutes, but then the frightened exclamations would start again. And he had yet to show any sign of being aware of their presence.

Then, in the middle of the night, the situation took another turn.

* * *

"Anko!"

At the sound of that panicked cry, Denmark immediately went to Norway's bedside. "I'm here, Nor," he said.

Norway's eyes were open, but it was hard to tell if he was actually aware of who was in the room with him. His eyes were glazed with fever, and he seemed to look through things rather than at them. Eventually, though, he managed to focus his gaze on Denmark. "Anko, don't let him take me. I don't want to go with him."

"You're safe, Nor. I won't let anyone take you away." He put his hand on Norway's arm, feeling the heat that radiated off of him from the high fever. Those words were a lie, though. He had let someone take Norway away from him, and that someone was right there in the room with them.

Norway seemed to relax slightly, and his eyes drifted closed for a few moments. But after a few moments, he opened his eyes and looked around the room. There was an expression of fear deep in his eyes from whatever he was seeing, but he did not seem to actually focus on anyone. "Please, I can't go through that again. But he'll never let me go. He said he wouldn't. Why won't you see what he's doing?" Norway was shivering, although whether from cold or from whatever he was remembering it was hard to tell. He would be feeling cold because of the fever, though.

"Nor, you're safe here. I won't let anyone hurt you."

Norway gave no sign that he had heard the reassurance. "I just want it to be over. I don't like the way the things he does make me feel. But he won't stop. He always says it's the only thing I'm good for. And you resent me for being his favorite. Why can't you see that I don't like being his 'favorite'?"

That went on for the next few hours. The rest of the family had stayed out of the conversation eventually, but as it went on they also tried to reassure Norway, but nothing they said seemed to get through to him. And the things he kept saying gave them even more of an insight into the pain he was feeling.

* * *

The fever finally broke shortly before dawn, and Norway finally drifted into a peaceful sleep, the first one he had gotten since getting sick a few days before. The rest of the family finally felt that it was safe to leave him alone to seek their own beds.

It was almost midday before any of them were actually ready to start the day, and when they checked on him, they found that Norway was still asleep. He did not wake up until early afternoon, and when he did, he was still exhausted from the illness, and did not actually bother getting up.

It was around that time that Finland went to check on him and see if he was awake yet. When he saw that Norway was awake, he entered the room and approached the bed. "How are you feeling, Norja?" he asked.

Norway did not answer immediately, but last he said, "I feel a little better." And he really did. Although he felt exhausted, the nausea had lessened considerably. Most of what he felt was lingering weakness from the fever and from not having eaten for a few days.

Finland put his hand on Norway's forehead. "Well, your fever is still down. Do you think you could try to drink some water, at least?"

Norway considered before answering. He did feel better, but he still hesitant to test it by actually trying to put anything in his stomach. But he knew that he needed to, so at least he replied, "Yes."

He needed help sitting up in order to drink, and after he had swallowed only a single sip of water, he lay back down and waited for a few moments. When that first little bit of water stayed down, he found the courage to drink a couple more sips. He only managed about half the glass, but it was better than nothing, and the important thing was that it actually stayed down. He felt himself being pulled back into sleep, but he fought against, and asked the question that had been on his mind since he woke up, "What happened last night?"

"You had a bad fever for most of the night. We were all really worried about you for a while, until the fever finally broke."

"I kept thinking _Far_ was here," Norway said, quietly. "But that wasn't real, was it?" The question didn't really need an answer; he already knew that he must have dreamed the whole thing. "_Far_ won't leave me alone as long as I'm still alive. He'll still find a way to come back." That was the one fear that he could never forget.

"None of us are going to let him anywhere near you, Norja. We know what he did to you, and we don't want to see you hurt like that again."

"But you don't know everything. There are parts I don't know if I can talk about. I can barely even stand to think about them, let alone speak out loud."

"You don't need to worry about that right now. For now, you just need to concentrate on getting better."

* * *

It took a couple of days before Norway recovered enough to be up and around again. Thankfully, the illness did not seem to have caused any major setback to his overall recovery, and after that couple of days he started eating normally again.

The one thing that he was not ready to do was face talking about his past again. The last time he had spoken about it, he had gotten to the part where the abuse he had received at the hands of his father had shifted into sexual abuse in addition to physical and emotional. The worst of the memories came after that shift, and he was not sure he could face talking about them. And he really wasn't sure if he could face talking to his whole family.

Although every member of the family knew that things were going unsaid, there was an unspoken agree to put all of that aside for the time being. For the first several days after Norway had recovered from his illness, everyone behaved as if it was just a normal visit. The evenings in the living room would be spent watching movies or talking about completely safe topics. And it was peaceful, unlike most of the times the family was together for an extended period of time. Unlike usual, there was no fighting, not even between Denmark and Sweden, although they still tended to not speak to each other unless it was necessary.

For the first time in a long time, though, there were moments when it seemed like they were all just a regular family. And they had all more or less been staying in the same house for several months by this point, and no major fights had broken out. Of course the main reason for that was the reason that they were all staying together the way they were—the need that the whole family felt to make sure that Norway would be alright. And for the first time, it was starting to look like he might be. They all knew there were still things that he would need to talk about, but he did seem more relaxed since he had recovered from his illness.

And sometime during all of this, the time for October's World Meeting had come and gone, and none of them had attended it.

* * *

**Author's notes:**

This story is almost done. There is one more chapter after this one, and then an epilogue. I do have plans for at least one more story that goes with these, and that story might be what I end up writing for Nano. I'm still deciding though, as I would like to write some stories that don't follow the background that was used in "Family Secrets" and this story. And truthfully, I'm not sure if anyone would be interested if I did write another story.

I would like to thank my two reviewers from last chapter. It's always good to know that people are enjoying this story.

If anyone is curious, there is a hint in this chapter as to what the next story will be about.

As always, please review.


	32. Chapter 32

**Warning:** There is still discussion of abuse in this chapter, as well as a brief hint toward earlier suicidal thoughts.

Chapter Thirty-two

Although, he knew he could continue to put it off for a while yet, Norway knew that he would have to tell his family the rest of his story soon. He had his control back to a certain extent, and he was relieved about that, but he was afraid it wouldn't last. He knew that if he talked about it, he would risk breaking down again. But he also doubted his ability to repress everything the way he had for so many years.

In addition to that, he was worried about having missed October's world meeting. Nothing had been said about it, openly, so he was also a little worried that his family might resent him for having caused them to miss the meeting. They had already missed two meetings during the summer because of him. And there was also the issue of the embarrassment he felt over what had happed at the previous month's meeting. He wasn't sure if he could face anyone again after that. What had happened at January's meeting was bad enough, but now the whole world thought he was suicidal. (He ignored the fact that there was some degree of truth to that, as he still sometimes had moments when he would think about it, and he still caught himself rubbing the scar on his wrist. For the time being he was still managing to push those thoughts aside, but until the thoughts were completely gone, he did not feel up to facing people who only know a very small part of the truth.)

* * *

It was not until the middle of the second week of October that Norway resumed the story of his childhood. He would have been quite willing to put it off even longer, but he realized that the longer he waited the more difficult it would be.

As it was, he had not anticipated how difficult it would be to resume the story, and several moments of silence passed before he found the courage to tell the next part of his story.

"I didn't understand the things that father did to me," Norway said. "I couldn't understand all of the things he told me, but I understood enough to know that he hated me . . . And I believed that everyone did. I heard Father's opinion so many times that I really thought it was the only opinion anyone could have of me. By the end of the first year I spend with _Far_, I could barely remember what it felt like to be cared for. I no longer cried, even on the worst nights, because I no longer believed there was anything worth missing. I believed that you were glad I was gone.

"The things that _Far_ did never changed much in that first year . . . He would usually just say the same things he always said . . . And he would hit me if I did anything that he didn't like, and sometimes I felt like everything I did around him was wrong. I tried to avoid making him angry, but he always found something.

"The nights were always the worst though." Norway looked down at the ground, trying to fight back the tears that threatened to fall as he remembered. He would not break down in front of his family, he was determined not to. "Every night . . . he would make me come and sit by him . . . and he would . . ." He could not continue speaking, as the tears finally began to fall. And that was when he realized that he might not be able to talk about what his father had done to him. Just trying to say those words hurt too much.

"Norja, it's alright. We're here with you. And you don't need to tell us anything you don't want to."

Norway tried to make himself stop crying, but just like the last time he had started talking about this, he just couldn't. After several moments, he managed to stop crying enough to speak again. "Even if I don't talk about it, I still can't forget it," he finally said. "I can't forget the way _Far_ would touch me—first it was just my curl, but then he eventually started . . ." Once again he could not complete that sentence. "I can't forget how, by the end of the second year, it wasn't just a few minutes by the fire . . . He would make me share his bed. That was when it started to move beyond just touching . . . I can't forget the feel of him holding me down. I can't forget how much it hurt when he . . ." Once again, the memories threatened to overwhelm him, but he still tried to force himself keep talking. "When he . . ." But he could not bring himself to say the word for what his father had done to him. And by this time, he was crying too hard to be able to speak. He closed his eyes, too ashamed to look at his family.

A few moments later, he felt himself being lifted up off of the couch. His first instinct was to struggle, but the arms holding him felt so familiar that he allowed himself to relax. He was carried a short distance, and then whoever was holding him sat down one of the other chairs. Norway opened his eyes, and through the tears that blurred his vision he saw (unsurprisingly) that Denmark was the one holding him—that he was actually sitting on the larger man's lap. Although part of him wanted to escape, he felt so safe in the arms of the person that he once trusted completely, and he hid his face against his older brother's shoulder and cried until he had no tears left to cry.

When the tears had finally dried up, Norway felt embarrassed over his break down and how weak he had just made himself look. He looked around at his family, but the only thing he saw from them was concern. They weren't ashamed of him—they were concerned about him; they cared about him. His mother had been right; his family really did care about him. Then he remembered other things—the way they had sat in his room with him during the couple days he was sick, the way they had watched over him all summer, the way they had stayed with him during his breakdown in April. All of those things proved that they really cared about him, but he had been raised believing no one could care about him, and it was difficult to believe that anyone really did—even when the evidence was right there in front of him.

Still that realization made him comfortable enough that he allowed himself to relax in the embrace. But there was still one thing he needed to know. "Did you hate me because I was the only one that _Far_ actually raised?"

"No," Denmark answered immediately.

Norway had expected that answer, even if he didn't completely believe it. But, he had asked two people that question. He turned to look at Sweden, not knowing what answer he would get.

"W' didn't resent y', Norge," Sweden answered after having apparently taken the time to think of an answer.

Norway actually was surprised by that answer. He had always believed that Denmark and Sweden had resented him for being their father's "favorite." At the time, they would have had no way of knowing what life with Scandia had really been like for him. He had only been Scandia's "favorite" on the rare occasions that anyone had actually been around. The rest of the time he had been quite aware of the fact that his father hated him. Well, as long as he was asking them other questions, he might as well ask one more, "What exactly happened on the roof?" He had only heard about what had happened after he passed out from people who had witnessed the incident from the ground.

The arms holding him tightened, to the extent where he actually did want to protest. But when Norway looked at his older brothers, those words went unsaid. He had not realized he had worried them so much.

"We almost lost you." Those words, spoken out loud, expressed the same thing that the tight embrace he was being held in did.

It wasn't a full answer to the question, and to some extent, it only raised more questions. Norway had been told that his older brothers had saved his life, and that they had apparently worked together to do so. But neither of them had said anything about the incident, so it was only in this moment that he realized the effect it must have had on them. They had been trying to bring him back from the edge, and he had only believed they had some ulterior motive. But that answer to the question of what had happened proved that they really cared—if he really was nothing more than a possession to them, then they wouldn't have cared if he had died that day.

Norway had known ever since he had woken up back in his hotel room after that incident that he had worried his family, but he had not realized until then the full extent to which he had worried all of them. He really had just wanted to be alone (mostly). The other thoughts, the ones that had almost led to him taking that final step had come later. "I'm sorry," he said, quietly, and this time he really meant it. He was sorry for having worried them all so much. That was all he could say, though. He couldn't promise he wouldn't do it again, because he still had those thoughts sometimes.

There were other things he wanted to ask about—especially since he still didn't know what had really happened, but he just felt so tired at the moment. Trying to force himself to talk about the abuse, and the emotions that what little he had said had brought up had been enough to exhaust him. And he felt so safe at the moment, that he allowed himself to close his eyes and relax. Before too much longer he had drifted off to sleep.

* * *

This time, he avoided getting sick at least. He had slept through the night, and although he still felt a little drained the next morning, he was still able to get up and eat breakfast. The safe feeling that he had begun to feel the night before remained, and he felt more at peace than he had since before his father's visit. He knew though that conversation that he had begun still needed to be completed—he would still need to tell them the rest. But maybe it would get easier now that he really believed that they cared about him. And he knew without a doubt that he was safe with them.

Throughout the whole course of the day, he continued to work on getting his courage up to tell more of the story, but right up until dinnertime he wasn't sure if he would be able to. It had only been during dinner that he had decided to tell the next part of his story. And so, that evening, once again, they all gathered in the living room, and Norway resumed his story.

"I'm not really sure how long I lived with _Far_," he said. "I know how many years I aged during that time, but I know that more years actually passed. After the first couple, though, they all seemed to blend together. It was always just more of the same treatment from him, and I wished more than anything for a way out—a way to not have to live with him anymore. As I got older, I began to spend more of the days out by myself. At night, though, I always had to return to _Far_. As much as I wished to be able to leave, I had no idea where to go.

"I wasn't always alone, though. There was a woman that lived nearby, and I spent some days with her. And, of course, I had . . . other friends. And I think they knew about what _Far_ was doing, but I never thought to ask for help from them. By the time I started interacting with anyone other than _Far_ he had convinced me that I deserved the things he did to me, and that it was all I was good for." He paused, and looked down at the ground again. He didn't feel overwhelmed by the memories yet, the way he had the last evening, but he also hadn't talked about anything as specific as the things he had talked about then.

"I can remember almost everything that he did, but I . . . I can't talk about it. And some of the memories of those years blur together, and I'm not sure what order some things happened in. Those years are just something I wish I could forget again, but I don't know how. I don't know how to deal with the memories, and I don't know how to get rid of them." Now the tears were coming, and Norway felt ashamed over having admitted to weakness.

"You don't need to force yourself to talk about anything you're not ready to. When you are ready, we will be here for you, but don't force yourself to talk about anything you're not ready for."

"I don't know if I'll ever be ready," Norway admitted. "I can't even say the word for what _Far _did to me. I can barely even think it. Using that word just makes it seem too real." Although, he felt like he was on the verge of crying, he was still able to hold back the tears, at least for the time being. "All of those years, the only thing I wanted was for it to end. For someone to notice and take me away from him, but if anyone did notice they never did anything." He turned to look at his older brothers. "Even when you were around more_ Far_ didn't stop. I kept hoping you would notice what he was doing and make him stop, because I didn't know how to . . . I guess in the end, you did." He remembered the way his brothers had saved him from Scandia the previous summer. He could remember seeing them standing in front of him, blocking Scandia's path to him. But that didn't stop him from wishing they had done so sooner. Of course, if they had . . . then Iceland might not have been born, and he wouldn't change that, even for the chance to have escaped earlier.

"After several years of that, though, something did happen. At first, I didn't know what was happening to me . . . I just thought I was getting sick. But when I mentioned something to the neighbor that I sometimes visited, she told me what was going on. That was when I realized that she knew what _Far_ was doing. I wasn't sure what to do when I found out, but I knew from the beginning that I wanted the child. It was a way that something good could come out of all those horrible years. But when _Far _found out, he had a different opinion."

_"You little freak! Do you realize the disgrace this will bring on our family?" Scandia was holding Norway's shoulder tight enough to bruise, his other hand raised as if to strike the boy._

_ Norway stood frozen in front of father, unable to defend himself. He felt like he was going to be sick again. For the past several days, he had felt nauseous almost all the time, especially early in the day, and he was barely able to keep anything down. And he felt exhausted, and his head was hurting. The first couple days he had assumed it was a reaction to something he had eaten, but several days had passed, and the sickness did not leave him. When he had learned what it was, he had attempted to hide his condition from his father, but eventually, Scandia had noticed._

_ Scandia was still talking. "I should have realized you were nothing more than a little freak when you started talking to things that weren't there. It might have been better for all of us if you had died with your mother."_

_ This was the first time Scandia had ever directly said something like that. Norway was used to being told that his mother's death had been his fault, but he had never before been told that he should have died too. Although the only time his mother's death was ever really brought up was to serve as the reason he had to submit to what his father wanted. And he was not really surprised to learn that was what his father thought, even without the words having been said, those feelings had still been clear._

_ He wished his older brothers were around, because if they were, Scandia would probably not be quite so . . . angry. Scandia was always careful to never show any sign of the real way he treated Norway when any others were around. That meant that Norway had to put up with comments about being Scandia's favorite, but it also meant that Scandia would only bother him at night. He wanted to believe that his brothers didn't know anything about what Scandia did to him. After all, they were rarely around, although they had been around more lately._

_ "You'll have to get rid of it," Scandia said, apparently coming to the end of what he had to say._

_ It took Norway a few moments to realize what his father had said. "No," he said, as comprehension dawned._

_ "You realize that if you don't, the whole world will find out what a little freak you are," Scandia said. His grip on Norway's shoulder tightened even more, causing the boy to wince at the pain it caused._

_ Somehow, Norway still found the strength to defy his father. His rested his free hand over his stomach. "I won't kill my child." It was the first time he had ever openly defied his father, but he couldn't do what Scandia wanted him to._

_ The anger that had already been in Scandia's expression grew. "You dare to defy me?" He tightened his grip even more, destroying any chance the boy may have had to escape, while with his other hand, he at last delivered the threatened blow, striking his son's face._

_ Tears formed in the corners of Norway's eyes from the pain of the blow, but he would not let them fall. He kept all signs of the fear he felt from showing in his expression._

_ The lack of response just seemed to infuriate Scandia further, and the first blow was followed by another, and another._

"I was terrified that he would take the decision out of my hands by doing something that would hurt the child, but like always I was powerless to stop him. By the time he was done, I was on the ground, curled up and determined to protect my child as best I could. And, thankfully, it worked. In the end, _Far_ was more concerned with making sure that no one ever learned what I was capable of—at least that was what he claimed. So, he sent me away to a place that at that time had not yet been settled. I stayed there for several months, until my child was born." He did not want to go into much more details than that. Later, if Iceland wanted to know the rest of the story, then he would tell it, but it was not something that he wanted to share with the whole family.

"It was while I was gone that _Far_ left," Norway said. "I can remember coming back to find out that he was gone. And the main thing I can remember feeling was relief that Island would be safe from him. I had been worried about what would happen, otherwise, because _Far_ was so set against my keeping the child." As he spoke those words, his mind went back to the moment when he had first learned that his father was gone for his life—or so he had believed.

_ When Norway returned home from the exile his father had sent him into, he brought with him a two week old infant. The child had been born only a week before his exile had ended, and then there had been a week long journey home. During those weeks, he had done his best to care for the child, but without the help of his friends, he never would have managed. He already owed his life and his son's life to them for their help with the birth. But now, he would need to find someone who would raise his child for him. He was afraid that otherwise his father would kill the defenseless child. As difficult as it would be to have to give the child up, Norway knew he could not allow his son to have the same kind of childhood that he had had._

_ As he stepped off of the boat that had brought him home, the child was held tightly in his arms. He had no proper clothes for the child yet, so the child was only wrapped in an extra cloak. That would be the next thing he would have to attend to—finding proper clothes for his son. But then, before he could start planning that, he reminded himself that he would have to give the child away to ensure his safety._

_ Once he was safely on the shore, he looked around, and saw that his older brother was waiting for him. With the baby held securely in his arms, he crossed the distance to where Denmark was standing and watching him. He stopped a short distance away though. There was something about the searching look his older brother was giving him that he didn't like—there was too much worry in that look._

_ "Are you feeling better, Nor?" Denmark asked. "Father told us you were sick and that he had sent you away so you could recover."_

_ "I'm fine," Norway answered. At least he knew what Scandia had told everyone. "Where is Father?" he asked._

_ "He just left, the same way all the other ancients have been doing. He said that you would be back sometime this week." His eyes fell on the bundle that Norway was holding. "What's that, Nor?"_

_ Norway almost missed the question in his relief. Scandia had left! He and his child would be safe then. An almost overpowering relief swept over him, and his arms tightened around the child._

_ That was enough to wake the child up, and he started to cry. Norway adjusted his grip on the child, and spoke softly to him, trying to soothe him. He wasn't very good at it yet, having only had the child for a couple of week and being little more than a child himself._

_ "When did you have a baby?" Denmark asked, finally realizing what it was that Norway held._

_ Norway felt a wave of terror sweep over him when Denmark seemed to guess his secret. They may be more distant from each other than they had once been, but Norway still could not bear it if his older brother thought he was a freak. He could not bear to hear the same things he had heard from his father from the one he had once believed would rescue him. "I found him," he said, quietly. "He's like us—his land is that island that's about a week's journey from here. I'm going to keep him and raise him." Silently he vowed that not only would he raise his child, he would make sure that his son had a better childhood than he had. And that should be possible. After all, Scandia could no longer pose any threat to him—to either one of them._

_ And in that moment, relief swept over him with the realization that it was really over. Scandia was gone, and he was finally safe. He no longer had to dread the nights when his father would come to him and hurt him. And he would not have to give up his son—although he would have to make sure that no one ever learned the truth about the child's origins._

His story told, or at least as much of it as he could bear to face, Norway looked up at his family. Once again, he felt that feeling of relief sweep over him as it had in that final memory. It really was over now. Scandia couldn't hurt him anymore—even the dreams were no longer a threat. And his family knew as much of the story as he could bear to talk about, and they had not turned away. They were still there with him.

He looked around at them, still a little afraid that he might see contempt for his weakness hidden in their expressions. But that wasn't what he saw. Instead, he saw concern, caring—maybe even love.

In that moment, even with some of the memories fresh in his mind, Norway felt more at peace that he could ever remember feeling. He no longer had to worry about what his family would think of him if they learned his secret, and he no longer had to bear all of that alone. At this time a year ago, he had been alone, hiding from his family, afraid of what they would think of him now that they had learned part of his secret. But now, he sat here with all of them around him, and they knew more than he had ever believed he would tell anyone—and they still cared for him.

This time, the tears that came to his eyes were tears of relief, and brought with them a release of much of the pain that he had kept locked inside for so long.

* * *

**Author's notes:**

Well, that's it. There will be one more chapter (or epilogue) after this to wrap a few things up and drop hints at things that might not be fully resolved, but the main story arc here is over. I guess you could say we're coming to the end of the road.

There is one thing that I want to explain, and that is why I didn't go into details about what happened up at on the roof. The short answer is that they don't want to talk about it, and what little was said explains that reason for that. But here's the long answer. It goes back to the argument that Denmark and Sweden had in chapter seven—as well as on offscreen argument mentioned at the end of "Family Secrets." There was also an argument in chapter eleven. Those arguments are part of the reason that Norway thought that they only saw him as a possession, because they kept fighting over him. The truth is that they did want to protect him, and both of them felt guilty about what Scandia had done to Norway—so rather than blaming themselves, they chose to blame each other since they don't get along very well anyway. So for them, what happened on the roof that day turned out to be something of a wake-up call. They both know that if they had started arguing or if they hadn't been able to work together, then they probably would have lost Norway. And neither of them wants to think about that. And they have been making an effort not to have any more of those arguments, even if that means basically just not speaking to each other.

I never thought when I started this story, that it would go on for so long, and now that there's nothing left to write but the epilogue, I feel like I've lost something. This story has been my major project for two years, minus a couple of breaks for National Novel Writing Month.

There is more I want to say about how this story began, and how important it has been to me, but that can wait until I post the epilogue. And the epilogue should be up by sometime next week—Thursday morning at the latest, so that I can start Nano with the knowledge that this story is really complete.

Thank you to the people who reviewed the last chapter, and to everyone who has followed this story. And to those who have said anything about how they hoped this would turn out, I hope this ending is positive enough for you. There's still the epilogue, but this kind of was the resolution here. This is the note that the story will end on (although I am playing with the idea of doing an alternate ending where things don't have a positive ending, but I haven't decided for sure about that yet. That is something else that I will talk more about in the closing notes to this story.)


End file.
